Let's play: SCRAMming up!

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PeZook
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by PeZook »

CHAPTER 3: A HOLE IN THE ACE
February 23rd 2025
Sunday
Wheels Up + 00:05:44


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SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED
You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, RI'ANN SHAPP, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV, MAD SCIENTIST, BITCHING BETTY and FUCKER NEWTON.

You are on a SPACEPLANE. You are at an ALTITUDE of 130 kilometres. You are ASCENDING. You are in FREEFALL. You are APPROACHING the APOAPSIS of your TRAJECTORY.

Much is HAPPENING at ONCE in the PASSENGER CABIN. COMBAT JANITOR is SHOCKED beyond BELIEF at the MYSTERIOUS RECORDING. He is SOBBING and CACKLING at the same TIME.

It was just about ENOUGH for ETERNAL FREEDOM. ETERNAL FREEDOM has LOST his COOL and SLASHES at COMBAT JANITOR.

ETERNAL FREEDOM MISSES, as ZIXINUS has KICKED COMBAT JANITOR making him FLOAT out of RANGE. COMBAT JANITOR suddenly SPRAYS TEAR GAS from his CYBERNETIC LEG the TEAR GAS quickly FILLS UP the CABIN.

EVERYONE begins to COUGH and WHEEZE. Nobody can SEE. There is COMPLETE CHAOS. LARGE IRRITABLE dog becomes IRRITATED and SNAPS. He BITES ZIXINUS. ZIXINUS yells and STABS the DOG in the STOMACH. COMBAT JANITOR has extracted a GUN from SOMEWHERE and is WAVING it AROUND.

MAD SCIENTIST Yells: BICKERING FOOLS!

MAD SCIENTIST COUGHS

MAD SCIENTIST WHEEZES

MAD SCIENTIST Yells: Kill each other later! If any of you wish to survive the next fifteen minutes, you must listen closely!

COMBAT JANITOR Screams: But they're all trying to kill me!

ZIXINUS points to RI'ANN SHAPP

ZIXINUS Yells: No! I want to kill HIM!

ETERNAL FREEDOM COUGHS

ETERNAL FREEDOM WHEEZES

ETERNAL FREEDOM CUTS all DISCUSSION with his AUTHORATIVE VOICE aided by BADASSERY.

ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: Shut the fuck up! Executions are to be postponed until MAD SCIENTIST says what he has to say!

ZIXINUS is ASSAULTED by RI'ANN SHAPP. He is being VICIOUSLY BEATEN by a man of INCREDIBLE RETARD STRENGTH.

SUAVE PLAYBOY MANHANDLES TROPICAL BEAUTY saving her from MOLESTATION. Also SAVING SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR'S HAWKISH EYESIGHT.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Time to apoapsis 95 seconds.

Things CALM DOWN. Slightly. ZIXINUS has LOST his PARANG and is thus REDUCED to HAND to HAND attacks. There is now BLOOD everywhere. It is FLOATING and STAINING the NICELY JANITORIALIZED INTERIOR. The LARGE IRRITABLE DOG is FLOATING HAPLESSLY in the AIR while GUSHING BLOOD.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY and MAD SCIENTIST engage in quick TECH TALK about the LOCATION and SIZE of HOLES while this is HAPPENING.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Time to apoapsis 30 seconds.

MAD SCIENTIST suggests an ORBITAL INSERTION BURN to be PERFORMED to buy more TIME. Rummaging through SUPPLIES reveals no HEAT SHIELD REPAIR KIT, but IVAN IVANOV is able to IMPROVISE a TEMPORARY and possibly FAKE SOLUTION. The IMPROVISTION requires DEFECATION which COMBAT JANITOR performs PROMPTLY.

TROPICAL BEAUTY is HORRIFIED. She utters some CURSES. She also says something about INSANITY. She BEGINS to RIP her HAIR out while TALKING very FAST. SUAVE PLAYBOY gets an IDEA and RETRIEVES his RUINED SPACESUIT hoping it can be PATCHED UP.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY does a DIAGNOSTIC but it REVEALS nothing.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Time to apoapsis 10 seconds.

BUTTBURNED HISTORIAN LAUGHS all of a SUDDEN. He begins to COUGH and WHEEZE due to the TEAR GAS. The TEAR GAS has STILL bot been SCRUBBED out of the AIR.

FUCKER NEWTON GRINS.

What do you do? _
Spoiler
Well, I had to cut some things from happening because frankly they were incompatible. So right now parts of the crew are engaged in attempts to fix their problem, combat janitor is waving the gun around but not shooting anyone, larg eirritable dog is wounded (possibly fatally so) and zixinus and ri'ann shapp are fighting in a vicious hand-to-hand duel.

Also, tropical beauty is regretting her choice of life partner.
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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY sidesteps MELEE and opens INNER AIRLOCK HATCH. He grabs one of the SPACESUITS and hands it to SUAVE PLAYBOY. He also hands SUAVE PLAYBOY FLASHLIGHT and REPAIR KIT.

"Time to impress the lady."
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

FaxModem1 wrote:WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY hears a CLICK from the PISTOL. WCDG PUNCHES COMBAT JANITOR in THROAT.

"Next time, turn off the safety."

Now WCDG STABS COMBAT JANITOR several times with PARANG.
The GUN is CHAMBERED and DOES NOT HAVE A SAFETY SWITCH

INSTEAD it USES A DECOCKER to DECOCK the GUN

THE "SAFETY" IS THAT THE DECOCKED GUN CAN BE FIRED THROUGH DOUBLE ACTION

KINDA LIKE THAT OF A LOADED REVOLVER

MOTHERFUCKER
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

Spoiler
Didn't happen, we never fought. Pay attention to what PeZook posted. Besides, you said the weapon had a safety.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Eternal_Freedom »

PREPARE for APOAPSIS BURN. POINT OUT to BITCHING BETTY that because we're around EARTH it should be APOGEE, as the SPECIFIC version of the GENERAL TERM APOAPSIS.

MAKE BURN. LAUGH as SHEPP becomes IMPLAED on the FREE-FLOATING PARANG.

QUIETLY think to MYSELF that UPGRADING my BADASSERY skills was THE BEST CHOICE I'VE MADE since JOING THIS INSANE GROUP.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

Spoiler
You know what? Fuck it. I quit. I just had a really frustrating thing happen to me in real life, and it is not worth trying to work out the reactions of a vaguely rational person who wants to save his life in the middle of this ship of fools.

I regret having gotten involved, since no one is interested in playing someone who doesn't want to die in a fire.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Zixinus »

Spoiler
Dude, this is a herd of cats. Don't take it too personally.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

Spoiler
No, you don't understand, I am just suddenly too fucking busy to spend the time trying to figure out how to deal with this shit. Especially when actions taken to avoid disasters are specifically retconned out because everyone would rather fight.

I quite literally don't have time for this.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY straps into his seat and buckles up.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by PeZook »

Spoiler
Huh? I didn't retcon any of the MAD SCIENTIST'S actions. I retconned the shooting and gunplay and airlock-throwing, but not what WCDG and MAD SCIENTIST did WRT saving the plane.
Last edited by PeZook on 2011-03-22 11:44am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

Spoiler
Sorry, I'll try not to sink to their level again.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

FaxModem1 wrote:Spoiler
Didn't happen, we never fought. Pay attention to what PeZook posted. Besides, you said the weapon had a safety.
Spoiler
Oh mang, you are correct. It also has biometrics, which means the gun won't fire if I'm not holding it! That is the safety! :P
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

PeZook wrote:Spoiler
Huh? I didn't retcon any of the MAD SCIENTIST'S actions. I retconned the shooting and gunplay and airlock-throwing, but not what WCDG and MAD SCIENTIST did WRT saving the plane.
Spoiler
Excuse me. I spoke hastily. I got about half way down into your post at the top of the page. Then I saw the e-mail from my advisor. Moreover, I'd just drunk a big cup of coffee on an empty stomach at the time. I was... ridiculously high strung at the time, and overlooked the rest of your post.

I am REALLY SORRY.

If I might take back the "I quit" part and return to our GLORIOUS FUCKING ADVENTURES...
MAD SCIENTIST, after brief NERVOUS FIT caused by being SPLASHED WITH BLOOD from PASSENGER CRAB BATTLE, calms down and buckles up. HOWEVER, MAD SCIENTIST is now FIRMLY ENSCONCED in the PRO-KILLING SHAPP faction.

MAD SCIENTIST stares FUCKER NEWTON firmly IN THE FACE. Utters traditional MAD SCIENTIST RITUAL CHANT.

"I know thy ways, oh ancient frenemy! By the power of Lagrange do I bind thee, by the thrice-blessed and thrice-cursed mechanics of Hamilton do I abjure thee, by the name of Gabrielle Émilie Le Tonnelier de Breteuil, marquise du Châtelet do I remind thee that thou dost not know everything!"
Last edited by Simon_Jester on 2011-03-22 12:30pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Force Lord »

HISTORIAN COUGHS and LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY. SCREAMS "THE CAKE IS A LIE, THE CAKE IS A LIE." HISTORIAN apparently has GONE INSANE.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Darkevilme »

Spoiler
I'm a lil confused. The only two spacesuits are the ones that me and shroom were wearing for our spacesuperfight, the ones that were damaged in said superfight yes? Or is there another that i'm unaware of. If there is another i'm gonna put that on. if there isn't a third suit i'm still gonna get Ivan and Scientist to fix my suit from earlier so i can wear it, the suit shroom wore we can burn when we next land.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

Spoiler
I could have sworn PeZook said we have four suits.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

MAD SCIENTIST laughs MADLY.

"Bwa-ha-ha-haaa!"
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY slaps MAD SCIENTIST.

"Get a hold of yourself. We need you."
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Eternal_Freedom »

LAUGH as NO ONE seems to have NOTICEd SHEPP's IMPALEMENT.

CONTINUE LAUGHING at his PREDICAMENT.

NOW that ORBITAL BURN is MADE, UNBUCKLE. MANHANDLE SHEPP into AIRLOCK whict he is INCAPACITATED.

SEAL INNER DOOR. OVERRIDE SAFETIES. OPEN OUTER DOOR. WATCH SHEPP FLOAT and FLAIL in VACUUM.

SEAL OUTER DOOR. REPRESSURISE AIRLOCK.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

FaxModem1 wrote:WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY slaps MAD SCIENTIST.

"Get a hold of yourself. We need you."
MAD SCIENTIST notes that MANIACAL LAUGHTER is allowed under PARAGRAPH SIX of his CONTRACT; this is a ROUTINE PERK for mad scientists and in no way IMPEDES their ability to PERFORM THEIR DUTIES.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY says "You don't have a contract."

MAD SCIENTIST says "I do now!"
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

"Well, in that case, make it a Mwa-ha-ha, it is more fitting of a scientist. So, shall we have a look at SUAVE PLAYBOY'S SPACESUIT and make sure he can go outside?"
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

MAD SCIENTIST agrees. Proposes to CANNIBALIZE OTHER SPACESUITS for PARTS to REPAIR the one belonging to SUAVE PLAYBOY, if possible.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by FaxModem1 »

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY agrees, but with stipulation.

"Maybe we should pick the suit in the best condition, and cannibalize the others for that one?"
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Simon_Jester »

MAD SCIENTIST acknowledges that THIS is a BETTER IDEA.
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Re: Let's play: SCRAMming up!

Post by Scottish Ninja »

USE HARD-WON EXPERIENCE to HELP REPAIR the BEST SPACESUIT.
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