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Pregame Disclaimer

The following has been modded into the game of Dwarf Fortress:

CREATURES-

DOMESTIC-
Pigs- Small domesticated food animals. Tasty.
Sheep- Small domesticated food animals. Cute.
Aurochs- Large, domesticated but fierce cow-like oxen, extinct in real life as of the rennaissance. Can be milked to get Auroch Cheese
Goat- Small domesticated food animals, milkable to make Goat Cheese.

DEMONS-
Marilith- Six armed, weapon-using female demons of doom.
Succubus- Flying female demon that steals and picks locks, firey.

DINOSAURS- Very rare relatives of the Dragon
Tyrannosaurus- Dragonkin of unparalleled predation. Eats Elephants.
Triceratops- Peaceful but deadly if provoked herbavore, has three horns
Stegasaurus- Peaceful but deadly if provoked herbavore, spined tail
Anklyosaur- Similar to a Stegasaur but armoured and grumpy
Pterodactyl- A flying reptile creature that scavenges primarily but will not hesitate to attack small mammals such as dwarves.

MONSTERS
Giant Cave Crocodile- Large version of the same, an ambusher.
Giant Cave Crab- Large crabs the size of dwarves, they are very nutritious and tasty if they don't eat you instead.
Armored Worm- Not technically an Annelid but similar, these creatures burrow beneath the earth and only rarely get lost to arrive near or at ground level. Their skin is plated and they are always very annoyed to be on the surface.
Salamander- A lizard creature that lives inside volcanoes or similar surroundings.
Hellbat- Flying elementals made of lava, these batlike creatures when trapped in non-lava areas panic and try to light as much of the area on fire to make it more homelike.

ANIMALS
Cave Oyster, Cave Crab, King Cave Crab, Cave Eel- Small creatures occaisionally caught fishing in underground streams.
Giant Gorilla- Just what it says
Cave Bear- These bears usually dwell inside caves, and sometimes "attack" dwarven fortresses on the mistaken assumption they are caves to be claimed.
Giant Alligator, Giant Crocodile- Freshwater alligators and crocodiles sometimes grow to great size under magical influence.
Giant Wolf- Confined mostly to northerly climates, these large canines operate in small but deadly squads rather than packs due to their proportional food intakes.

ALCOHOL MOD- Some of these already exist in game such as Strawberries, and this merely makes them able to be selected for initial journeying and adds them to import caravans. Others such as Pumpkins and Potatoes are new crop diversifications.
Albino Corn- Can be distilled into dwarven bourbon or milled into dwarven corn flour. Can be cooked or eaten when there's no other food.
Cave Agave- Can be distilled into tequila. Has no other purpose, so the drink has a little bit more value.
Cave Barley- Can be distilled into dwarven scotch or milled into dwarven bran.
Cave Cotton- Can be milled into dwarven cottonseed oil, or can be used for thread or cloth.
Cave Potatoes- Can be distilled into dwarven potato vodka or milled into dwarven starch. Can be cooked or eaten when there's no other food.
Cave Pumpkins- Can be distilled into dwarven pumpkin ale (seasonal!). Can be cooked or eaten when there's no other food.
Cave Rice- Can be distilled into dwarven sake, or milled into dwarven white rice. Can be eaten cooked.
Cave Rye- Can be distilled into dwarven rye vodka (classy!) or milled into dwarven rye flour. Can be eaten cooked.
Cave Soybeans- Can be distilled into dwarven soy vodka (not so classy!) or milled into dwarven tofu. Can be eaten cooked.
Cave Strawberries- Can be distilled into dwarven sweet wine or milled into pink dye. Can be cooked or eaten raw.
Cave Tomatoes- Can be milled into dwarven tomato sauce, can be eaten raw or cooked.
Juniper Bushes- Can be distilled into gin or juniper oil can be extracted into a vial at a still.

FOOD MOD- Makes food descriptions more lively, that's it.

This is the total amount of differences from the core game version 0.23.130.23a.

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Out of Game Information:

Attempting to generate world with the following location
Tropical Forest or Shrubland, Warm Climate,
Large Quantities of Vegetation and Trees
Terrifying [Evil, Savage] Disposition

World One, Tar Acath, The Land of Prophecies- Failure.
World Two, Xemorid, The Mythical Universe- Failure.
World Three, Xemxah, The Mythical Dimensions- Failure.
World Four, Gataloram, The Ageless World- Failure.
World Five, Mon Ebno, The Plane of Tempests- Failure.
World Six, Zilirthur, The Eternal Universes- Failure.
World Seven, Dathanamaanenu, The Ageless Everseeing Planets- Failure.
World Eight, Ilusushul, The Everseeing Realm-

Christ this could take a while. Damn it's hard to get a good spot.

Wheres the reports? and is Spanky a psycho again?

Master of Cards wrote:Wheres the reports? and is Spanky a psycho again?

Scheiße, son, I haven't even got the world made yet. Finding a good zombie-filled shrubland full of elephants is hard work. I'm on my Seventh World by now.

PROLOGUE- 3rd Granite, 1051, 3rd Age; Dwarven Calendar [Early Spring]

GuppyShark yawned, awakening. A loud, repetitive clanging noise assaulted his ears. He sat up.

Odd, he said with the slowness of sleep only starting to leave his mind. I'm on the ground. Why am I outside?

Ting.

Ting.

He turned back. Kuja was digging a tunnel into the mountain. It all came back to him. The king. The mine. The writ. The laws. They had been guilty under dwarven law and exiled to make a new vassal country or die trying.

Wait. Dwarven Law? What? That was one fucked up dream. he said, shaking his head. Maybe he was drunk or drugged or something. Why am I wearing leather pants? And silk... shoes? What? Where the hell am I?

For one, the fact that this was a tropical rainforest seemed to preclude it being in southern Australia.

So did the fact that a pterodactyl was flying over, and that Kuja was a 3 foot tall bearded midget.

He did the only sensible thing one does when you get stuck in a video game world or trapped in your own LSD-fueled trip or something.

He screamed.

15 Granite, 1051, 3rd Age; Dwarven Calendar. 12 Days Later.

SMACK!

The noise had sounded much louder than a slap normally should have. Probably because of the oppressive silence of the forest.

Kuja's leather glove had seemed to appear by tself on Guppyshark's face. Kuja stared through dark, beady eyes at the other dwarf.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Start dealing with it like the rest of us. But do it quietly. You don't want them to hear."

"Who?" said GuppyShark, clutching his face where a red mark now shone.

"There's something evil in those woods. The warthogs. Master of Cards says he saw one with its chest ripped open, three legs, and half of its face gone walking around like normal. Not bleeding at all. Clotted right through."

Adrian Laguna looked up from his fishing rod he had assembled using skills that seemed to have come to him as naturally as Kuja found himself mining. "Are you telling me we're in the middle of a forest full of Zombie Warthogs?"

Kuja grunted. "Zed Ptero's too."

Adrian nodded. Weirder things had happened this day. He caught a fish. Pulling it out of the water, it hissed at him, showing two pairs of jaws and four flat, red eyes. He threw it back, searching for ones less likely to be possessed by the devil.

GuppyShark shrugged and stopped reliving the event. Embarassing, but it had made total sense. He couldn't fault Kuja for saving their lives. Just then, HSTRG interrupted his reverie. Kuja and he were the nominal leaders of the men- dwarves, he corrected himself.

"What's our supply situation, Cards?" Master of Cards, Woodsman and unofficial Quartermaster, scurried over to the rows of bins and barrels they had unloaded from the wagons.

"Besides the animals- those three weirdass cows, the three mules, two dogs, and two cats, we have a bag with mushroom seeds, a barrel full of 15 dead turtles, some barrels of meat-"

"What kind of meat?" inquired the mason.

"Uh, labels say... the fuck? 'Pig Meat, Sheep Meat, Gazelle Meat, Mule Meat...' " he listed, reading them off. Then he stopped and looked back. "HSTRG, you won't believe this. This one says 'Chimp, Bonobo, and Horse Meats, 2 Units Each'. Doesn't eating bushmeat give you Ebola?"

He looked in the other barrels.

"Holy- My opinion on the King of Äkilbesmar just went up," not even noticing how he accidentally slipped into his dwarven persona. "We've got alcohol in these. All 18 of them."

There was an excited shout, a yowl of a cat, and the mining stopped. Everyone rushed to look at what was going on, except Adrian who was busy wrestling with a fish in a pond.

Soaking wet, Kuja and his pet cats flew from the mines, followed by a stream of water.

"Ford, I found the river, get a bridge on her!"

Fortress Palelabor was officially in business.

Fuckin' awesome. It's masonry time.

One I don't say like, like at all. Other then that, Great job, and I love my job.

1 Slate, 1051, Dwarven Calendar. The Next Month, a few weeks later.

Ford watched with pride as the two miners cross his bridge, Kuja trailing his cats. The fortress, Kuja had outlined, would be build across the river to keep everyone safer.

Ford yawned, grabbing a mug of Dwarven Sake. There wasn't a lot, as Sake wasn't a very dwarven-tasting beverage and the rice was harder to grow than plump helmets or such, but he liked it. The dwarves, save Adrian, were huddled inside to avoid the rain, as were some of the Aurochsen (as GuppyShark claimed they were called, although Weirdass Cows had become a common enough term among Palelabor) and Mules.

Adrian Laguna burst into the roughly cave, fish in hand. "Shit, guys! SHIT. Come look at this, it's important."

Grumbling, the Dwarves save Kuja and rhoenix (who were on the other side of the bridge working) followed him to the pond.

"What are we looking at, Adrian?"

Adrian shook his head. "Not the pond. Look over the river."

Packs of Zombie Warthogs were running, at least a score of them, but they hadn't spotted the Dwarves. Still, they all crouched and hid behind a reed, save Adrian.

"I don't think they can see us from this far away."

Suddenly, Master of Cards pointed. "Look at the trees! Oh God, the trees!"

Swaying gently as they walked, appearing like blasphemous idols to the evil they represented, slathered liberally in the crusty brown of dried blood, its tusks bearing the impaled bodies of past victims, animal and being alike, rotting elephants strode after the warthogs.

WOOT! Zombie elephants already! Quick, have a dwarf slap one!

Tasoth wrote:WOOT! Zombie elephants already! Quick, have a dwarf slap one!

That's nothing man, I've got a Zombie Giant Leopard on radar right now. It's stalking around.

Luckily none of the zombies have realized they don't need to breathe. Either that or they don't know that there is prey across the river.

Woo. So, how dangerous is the tree-felling business?

Stark wrote:Woo. So, how dangerous is the tree-felling business?

There's already a herd of zombie elephants. I say the danger level runs from James Bond to skinny dipping in the sun.

Stark wrote:Woo. So, how dangerous is the tree-felling business?

Directly proportional to the distance from home.

______________________________________________

27 Slate, 1051, 3rd Age [Dwarven Calendar]; 26 days later.

Kuja watched with interest as Ford sculpted a huge chunk of rock into a door as easily as rhoenix was ripping chunks of stone down in the neighboring area so as to make room for a mechanic's shop.

rhoenix turned. He (she really, he said mentally, and shuddered. Nobody, himself included, had gotten used to the gender changes, although at least with dwarves it was hard to tell) waved. "What have we got, Kuja?"

Kuja looked at the smaller chunk he'd carried with him. "Looks like Galena, Silver Ore. I'm 90 percent sure, but damn I wish Chewie were here in this mess. Dwarf-life memories don't really cover geology that well. We got a little problem, though, with the expansion of the main hall."

"What's the problem?"

Kuja showed him.

It was indeed a problem.

That seems like a *really* bad thing? Where's it go? What's in there? Is it also full of zombies?

Stark wrote:That seems like a *really* bad thing? Where's it go? What's in there? Is it also full of zombies?

It's full of unimaginable riches you mean. And you can toss your garbage down it. What's the worst thing that can happen? Aside from a child falling off of it, thanks to no guardrail...

Surely it's just waiting to become a spawn point for Satan?

Since wood is so important and it's so dangerous outside, is there going to be any wood related supply problems?

1 Hematite, 1050, 3rd Age; Dwarven Calendar. [Summer].



Master of Cards let out a sigh of breath as he finished the first bed. 1 down, 6 to go. I'll do 2 more, then I can go get some Ale. rhoenix wandered in and picked the bed up, dragging it over into the bed hall.

Zombie Warthogs had moved out, leaving only the live ones to stare at the impertinent Dwarves infringing upon their territory. Luckily those warthogs hadn't figured out that there was a place to ford the river, as unlike the zombies they couldn't operate underwater.

Just another day in Palelabor.
__________________________________________
28 Malachite, 1050, 3rd Age; Dwarven Calendar. [51 days later].

HSTRG shrugged apologetically. "GuppyShark, there is a problem with your farm."

GuppyShark sighed. "Did it not work like last time?"

HSTRG shrugged. "Well, it flooded when the lever was pulled. Chamber's all muddy and ready for farming. But... ah, it doesn't seem to be unflooding, if you catch my drift. Seems that our floodgates don't fully account for the fact that the water is just millimeters in higher elevation and has turned it into a swimming pool. Someone's gonna have to wade in there and see what can be done or that farm's going to have to grow sea weed."

Adrian Laguna, who was by now the dedicated scout for the group by way of his fishing (it was he who first warned of the Elephants and Chimps walking about the other bank of the river.), came in through the River Bridge Door.

"Immigrant arrival, lugging an anvil."

They walked out to look.

"Where? I don't see it," said HSTRG.

"Right there, next to the Zombie Elephants." Adrian pointed to a small smudge on the horizon.

"Poor bastard," observed GuppyShark. "Hope they can run fast."

I am Kuja, river-finder exraordinaire! *flexes*

HAZZAH! The Anvil has arrivedth, Let ye gaurd it with ye lives!

If the zombie elephants don't see him.

I'm in your base making ur beds

Run immigrant, run! Or else we'll have to loot your dead body for the anvil.

*chuckle*

This is already better. We toil for large amounts of alcohol! And glory!

The Lord Mason is ... pleased. Proceed.

Stark wrote:Surely it's just waiting to become a spawn point for Satan?

Nah, that's later on.

Since wood is so important and it's so dangerous outside, is there going to be any wood related supply problems?

Not once MRDOD starts growing tree-sized mushrooms.