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Spanky? Where are you?

Cracked.com does the gee-whiz futurist thing.

Electronic Arts could crank out a Shrek 9 game in a couple of weeks that features nothing more than Shrek standing in your front yard, quietly staring and occasionally farting. The whole time your brain will be telling you it's the most fun you've ever had.

Oh, for a TARDIS....

So... in 25 years, humans will basically be living inside computers and computer games will be nothing but drugs?

As for what sort of "games" or other entertainment would be offered there, it's possible that by then the gaming industry would have achieved its final goal: A device that makes you enjoy the experience no matter what they do. It's true that it would require electrodes inserted into the pleasure centers of the brain, but at that stage it would probably be considered cruel to not implant them in every newborn.

And they don't think there might be slight social repercussions to something like that? Oh no, the worst thing that about technologies like those they describe is advertisement.

Who the fuck is this David Wong person anyway, and why does anyone give a fuck what he says? He seems to write dumb stuff about most of everything. Is he one of those "professional bloggers"?

"Imagine it. In your lifetime, a magical world where you can actually meet that Burger King mascot, and smell him and feel his robes. As for the porn, well, is it even porn at that stage? It's pretty much just sex. You have sex with the porn lady and when you roll over, there's the Burger King guy to hand you a Whopper in person"

This is quite possibly the most awesome thing I've heard all week. Unlikely, and I'm sure as hell not going for the whole "We see into your head for your desires" thing voluntarily, but still awesome.

Oh, come on, this is quite tongue in cheek.
Nice read.

Dooey Jo wrote:So... in 25 years, humans will basically be living inside computers and computer games will be nothing but drugs?

Who the fuck is this David Wong person anyway, and why does anyone give a fuck what he says? He seems to write dumb stuff about most of everything. Is he one of those "professional bloggers"?

While we're on the subject of stupid websites, how about that The Onion or whatever it's called? How come all their supposed "news" is never reported by the more reputable institutions like the BBC, Reuters or AP? What a crock.

I couldn't get through the Spore wankery.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:

Dooey Jo wrote:So... in 25 years, humans will basically be living inside computers and computer games will be nothing but drugs?

Who the fuck is this David Wong person anyway, and why does anyone give a fuck what he says? He seems to write dumb stuff about most of everything. Is he one of those "professional bloggers"?

While we're on the subject of stupid websites, how about that The Onion or whatever it's called? How come all their supposed "news" is never reported by the more reputable institutions like the BBC, Reuters or AP? What a crock.

You're saying this is some form of satire? I thought that was supposed to be funny. This stuff is quite par for the course for various "singularity" wankers.

Dooey Jo wrote: You're saying this is some form of satire? I thought that was supposed to be funny. This stuff is quite par for the course for various "singularity" wankers.

I wouldn´t call it satire. I´d say this is wankery that knows that it´s wankery and wanks with a wink.

Cracked.com is what's left of the old Cracked magazine, the original Mad magazine rip-off

I spent hours reading those as a kid! Didn't know that they were still around.

Dooey Jo wrote:You're saying this is some form of satire? I thought that was supposed to be funny. This stuff is quite par for the course for various "singularity" wankers.

Yes, because "A Modest Proposal" is such a knee-slapper.

The next 25 years of gaming, still no Duke Nukem.

Dooey Jo wrote:Who the fuck is this David Wong person anyway, and why does anyone give a fuck what he says? He seems to write dumb stuff about most of everything. Is he one of those "professional bloggers"?

Oh shit, Mike found out the secret of time-travel and sent his son back from the future to warn us!

No seriously, if he's the guy I'm thinking of, David Wong is a pretentious moron who understands the True Way Of Gaming and sees the Real Gaming Industry.

And I hate him.

I see the future of Gaming! HALO IV, V, VI, the list goes on! and so does BungieSoft's massive rise in stock value!

Battlehymn Republic wrote:

Dooey Jo wrote:You're saying this is some form of satire? I thought that was supposed to be funny. This stuff is quite par for the course for various "singularity" wankers.

Yes, because "A Modest Proposal" is such a knee-slapper.

Uh, yes? It also makes a point.

Stark wrote:No seriously, if he's the guy I'm thinking of, David Wong is a pretentious moron who understands the True Way Of Gaming and sees the Real Gaming Industry.

And I hate him.

Sadly, you're thinking of the right person. The same guy who runs pointless waste of time. Y'know, that Maddox Clone. Same one who wrote the article about Christians and Atheists having to agree on some things that we all laughed at.