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RA3 Trailer

Then again, I barely played RA2 and that was the last CnC game I dealt with. Still, this seems to be something else entirely.

And that something is right.

No I think this picks up right where RA2 left off. A shame that there's a new actress for Tanja though.

This is an alternate diversion because the Soviets pull an Einstein and go back in time to wax Albert the same way Al erased Hitler from history. Because there's no Einstein the Allies lose a huge amount of their technology and it also has other unintended consequences, such as allowing the soviets to grow so powerful that a true Alliance was required to hold them back, and this made it possible for the Japanese to go crazy too.

Red Alert has turned up the silly with each passing game and expansion. This seems to have been a good idea, because the po faced Serious Business of C&C3 really didn't sell it, and the gameplay sure as fuck wasn't going to.

But crazy japes shouldn't sell an RTS either. It's only fatty nerd dickheads who think ZOMG TEH FUNNEE CUTSCENS and buy sub-par games due to 'hilarious' movie sequences. Actual people who play games consider them meaningless.

Red Alert 3 has some dumb shit in it, but it looks better than CnC3, for whatever that's worth.

All I can say is, I approve of the new Tanya and Eva. And hey, they can both be on the screen at the same time!

Hawkwings wrote:All I can say is, I approve of the new Tanya and Eva. And hey, they can both be on the screen at the same time!

Perfect example right here of what I'm talking about.

Yeah. All the cheesecake in the world won't save the game if it's mechanics are shoddy. I really gave EA the benefit of the doubt last time, but I've played generals into the ground recently waiting for SOMEONE to put out an RTS I can play mostly CoOp without a huge team (I like 2v__ matches with me and my RTS buddy versus) and C&C3 was a huge disappointment for me. If RA3 is as scatterbrained in balance as it is in unit design, I'm just going to swear off the entire genre and go back to playing 1990's Adventure games and pretend I have old man disease that keeps me from playing an RTS.

I don't like the clicks-per-second brand of RTS, but I also don't like the austere blandness of SupCom... but you know, at least SupCom had some tenuous grasp of unit balance, even if their version of balance was Warcraft II "same unit, different flavor" style, but with all the humor and stylized elements drained out. I'd like to give WiC a try some time, but nobody I know has a copy I can borrow, and I'm short on teh funds.

So, RA3, you're on notice. Don't suck as bad as the phrase "paratrooper armored soviet war bears" would lead me to believe.

There's a WiC multiplayer demo available I believe; once the addon comes out I imagine it'll drop in price.

Hawkwings wrote:All I can say is, I approve of the new Tanya and Eva. And hey, they can both be on the screen at the same time!

You do?

These two cutscene bits with them looked like cheap porn. LOL commando chicks with long stylized hair

PeZook wrote:

Hawkwings wrote:All I can say is, I approve of the new Tanya and Eva. And hey, they can both be on the screen at the same time!

You do?

These two cutscene bits with them looked like cheap porn. LOL commando chicks with long stylized hair

And what is so bad about that?

PeZook wrote:

Hawkwings wrote:All I can say is, I approve of the new Tanya and Eva. And hey, they can both be on the screen at the same time!

You do?

These two cutscene bits with them looked like cheap porn. LOL commando chicks with long stylized hair

I believe that was the reason for his approval. And also probably the effect the developers were aiming for.

now if westwood would just add a cheap porn cutscene....

The Yosemite Bear wrote:now if westwood would just add a cheap porn cutscene....

At that point they might as well put out the game of "Amazon Wars". Lead your nation of scantily clad women into combat against other nations of scantily clad women. Watch out for the wandering tentaclebeasts though.

Your goal is to lead your tribe from the frozen wastelands to the tropical paradises. As you get further from the poles (complete more missions) your people (and the opponents) will wear less due to the temperature. There will be meetings held before the scenarios (for campaign play) so you can get a close-up view of your leader(s) and the enemy leader(s) also. Since the enemy lives in a warmer climate, they will be wearing less.

Aryiki in a computer game, plus if you add the RTS suggestions listed here, it would be soft-core porn (especially if your side wins), with a good user Interface.

You mean, 'at that point fatty nerd lamers might gorw balls and buy actual porn instead of diverting development time away from the game'? LOL!

Frankly the preposterous costumes of the female characters (with the exception of the Japanese lady) are pretty much the only thing I find off-putting about the cinematics. I prefer old this-is-Serious-Business' Tanya over 'porn Blonde' Tanya, and it's one thing to do a bit of fan servicing at the side the way they did at the end of RA2's allied campaign ("lol Tanya and Eva want to date you mang!") but this is way over even my ridiculous-treshold.

The computer game world needs all the silliness it can get. Way too many of the fucking people who call themselves "gamers" take their entertainment too seriously.

I'm not a "gamer"; I'm a person who occasionally plays games.

Yes. We need Soviet Generals sharing hot tubs with porn stars.

Darth Wong wrote:The computer game world needs all the silliness it can get. Way too many of the fucking people who call themselves "gamers" take their entertainment too seriously.

I think a larger problem is that, as Stark is fond of pointing out, a lot of game storylines take themselves so seriously that they become some flavour of fail. A good example are the Metal Gear Solid games, they are best when Kojima remembers to insert ridiculous things (like Snake quipping that his bandanna gives him infinite ammo), and worst when Kojima gets caught-up in the seriousness and starts preaching at you.

Was it best or worst when we had a video game boss whose power was being covered in bees?


(I think it was best)

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Was it best or worst when we had a video game boss whose power was being covered in bees?

(I think it was best)

I think best was also the ancient Soviet sniper who you could defeat by leaving your PS2 on so long that he died of old age

By contrast, the Beauty and the Beast unit in MGS4 was the epitome of pretentious crap - it wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't get those annoying messages from Drebin telling us of each ones "tragic story" - which was just ridiculously lame.

As to Red Alert - RA2s silliness was a breath of fresh air. Can't wait for RA3.

Vympel wrote:I think best was also the ancient Soviet sniper who you could defeat by leaving your PS2 on so long that he died of old age

You could actually just change the clock and achieve the same effect.

Darth Wong wrote:The computer game world needs all the silliness it can get. Way too many of the fucking people who call themselves "gamers" take their entertainment too seriously.

I'm not a "gamer"; I'm a person who occasionally plays games.

Silly... and good. I've never played an RA game, but the nothing about the craziness of rocket-firing bears or whatever puts me off (frankly, I've played games with elven motorcyclists so it's pretty ordinary). I think winning marketshare by inserting titties is just lame, however effective it might be. CnC3 wasn't a good game, and the money they wasted on nerd-service b-movie stuff might have helped that somewhat.

Anyone remember Act of War? That game was silly as hell (right from the installer video of oil company lobbyists on talkshows saying how we're not running out of oil it's all speculators etc) but that's why it was cool - the melodramatic 24-style cutscenes were a highpoint.

That and the fact that you could torture enemy POWs for cash.

Vympel wrote:

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Was it best or worst when we had a video game boss whose power was being covered in bees?

(I think it was best)

I think best was also the ancient Soviet sniper who you could defeat by leaving your PS2 on so long that he died of old age

By contrast, the Beauty and the Beast unit in MGS4 was the epitome of pretentious crap - it wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't get those annoying messages from Drebin telling us of each ones "tragic story" - which was just ridiculously lame.

I personally can't wait to play it - if I ever get the chance. Laughing Octopus is cute and hot.

As to Red Alert - RA2s silliness was a breath of fresh air. Can't wait for RA3.

Seriously. They should indulge in their silliness. Bears! Giant killer squids! Damn, they need to bring back Psycho Lenin!

I hope the Imperial Japanistanis will totally be, like, screaming about dishonorable mortal gaijin and stuff.

Fuck it, they have Tim Curry as Premier of the Soviet Union!