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Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-25 07:49pm
by Mr Bean
Behold the horror that is Songsmith
NYT wrote: Digital Domain
Microsoft Songsmith Is Easy (if Painful to Hear)

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By RANDALL STROSS
Published: January 24, 2009

CALLING all novice songwriters: Microsoft is pitching software designed for you, no musical training required. You sing the words as best you can, and its Songsmith software supplies computer-matched musical accompaniment.
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Photographs from YouTube

Blogs have blasted the promotion for Songsmith, top. It calls to mind a past Microsoft video, a riff on “Born in the U.S.A.” that’s all about selling Vista.
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How satisfying are the musical results? Microsoft lets you hear for yourself in a promotional video titled “Everyone Has a Song Inside.” The video is getting more attention than the software because it’s awful, in unintentional ways. “Notes on ‘Camp’, ” the 1964 essay by Susan Sontag, identifies a category of art that isn’t campy, just “bad to the point of being laughable, but not bad to the point of being enjoyable.” The Songsmith video is exactly that.

Regardless of whether Songsmith sells well, the software will not have a material effect on Microsoft’s earnings. But its marketing is of interest, because any time that Microsoft tells its own story clumsily, it calls attention to its inability to match the creativity of its smaller, nimbler rival, Apple.

Songsmith was released on Jan. 8, but hundreds of thousands of viewers have already sampled the Songsmith promotional video on YouTube, alerted by bloggers. “Nothing Can Prepare You for the Microsoft Songsmith Commercial” warns Videogum. “Microsoft Songsmith: So Wonderfully Bad It Hurts” enthuses The Click Heard Round the World. “Worst Microsoft Video Promo Ever” is one description at TechCrunch.

The video consists of a minimusical whose soundtrack sounds as if it were generated by an inexpensive electronic keyboard. The story opens with a father, who — singing — says he needs to come up with an advertising campaign for glow-in-the-dark towels. Then we meet his daughter, who, while singing and typing on her laptop, shows him Songsmith, “the cool new thing.” Dad then absconds with her laptop and introduces Songsmith to another adult, who speaks the words you will not want to miss: “Microsoft, huh? So it’s pretty easy to use?”

The line is delivered without an I-know-you-know wink acknowledging that Microsoft is not the company likely to come first to mind when ease of use is mentioned. Songsmith works only on Windows, but the laptop in the video running Windows is a MacBook Pro, adorned with decorative stickers that obscure the Apple icon in the center.

The actor turns out to be Sumit Basu, a Microsoft research scientist, whose colleague, Dan Morris, another scientist, plays the role of the father. The two developed the software, along with Ian Simon, a graduate student at the University of Washington. The two also wrote the lyrics that they sang in the video — Songsmith supplied the rest of the music — and the production company wrote the dialogue, Mr. Morris said.

The pair had no intentions of producing satire. “We just wanted to make a fun video,” Mr. Morris said. He and Mr. Basu are computer scientists, not professional writers or actors. They relinquished their amateur status, however, when they decided to commercialize Songsmith themselves.

That they did so is highly unusual. At Microsoft Research, technology that seems to have some commercial application is typically moved elsewhere in the company, to a product group, so it can be converted into a saleable product and overseen by professional marketers. I asked Mr. Morris if Songsmith had been turned down by Microsoft product groups outside of his division. He declined to answer, saying only that the core technology might still be used elsewhere in the company.

The researchers eschewed the various open-source licensing models that would seem well suited to a project like this and instead released it as a commercial package: $29.95 in the United States, 29 euros in the European Union. Mr. Morris said the revenue would help to recoup development costs.

If it had remained as it was — a research project called MySong that was the subject of academic papers — it would not have drawn derision. But once it was placed on sale in Microsoft’s own online store, the whole world could weigh in with reviews.

The most devastating form of ridicule has been constructed by using the musical output of Songsmith itself. YouTube is now filling with hilarious videos in which the vocal tracks of rock classics have been fed into Songsmith and the ghastly computer-generated accompaniment has been recorded. One example was described by the blog Gizmodo: “David Lee Roth + Microsoft Songsmith = Pure Horror.”

When TechCrunch’s gadget blog first reported on the Songsmith video — “Microsoft Relinquishes ‘Worst Promo Video Ever’ Award to Another Department Within Microsoft” — it referred to a Microsoft-produced video made last April, when Vista Service Pack 1 was released. More than a million YouTube viewers have looked at this video, “Rockin’ Our Sales,” an homage to the “Born in the U.S.A.” album of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.

I must speak up in defense of that Vista video. It was made only for internal purposes, to fire up the Microsoft sales force to sell more copies of Vista (“Quota is where your focus is; got-ta get those bonuses”). It is so self-conscious in its ridiculousness that it’s impervious to external scorn.

Ms. Sontag also wrote that “when something is just bad (rather than Camp), it’s often because it is too mediocre in its ambition.” Not this video. Hearing Bruce ServicePack and the Vista Street Band sing at full voice, one is treated to pure camp.

I can’t offer the same apologia for Songsmith’s output when it transmutes the rock canon into synthetic treacle. The most excruciating Songsmith output I’ve run across on YouTube is a result of feeding the software vocals of the Beatles song “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” Listening to it, I wonder if software is now capable of thinking like a human being and can enjoy its own private jokes at our expense. If so, I suspect that Songsmith is snickering.

Randall Stross is an author based in Silicon Valley and a professor of business at San Jose State University. E-mail: stross@nytimes.com.
It is truthfully a horror, a horror that ranks right up there as a Class Five on the Cthulhu scale, not quite bleeding eyeballs but defiantly at the gnashing of teeth and lamentations of women level.

Don't believe me? Try out this Gawker link to some versions or search it yourself on Youtube.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 12:59am
by Singer
I imagine these are the songs heard on the elevator to hell.

Not included above, this one sounds like a horrendous remix:
Enter Songsmith

Edit:
Holy hell, listen to Battery.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 01:10am
by Andrew_Fireborn
Somehow... I imagined some sort of DRM that decided that sound waves were too analog for safe use...

A horrible music generator for lyrics... Honestly, has apparently lead to hilarity.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 01:14am
by Executor32
If reruns of Who's the Boss are all that's on TV in Hell, this is all that's on the radio.

oh god i do not think i will ever forget the horror

the unspeakable horror

kill me

EDIT: oh god there is more

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 01:30am
by Dark Hellion
I am pretty sure my cat can do a better job on Garageband by stepping on the keyboard at random and meowing into the mike.

The background music sounds like it came from a FF game for the SNES. Only FF had actual composition and opera while this has suck and well more suck.

edit- It is also ludicrously hilarious in the same way that watching a clown car get in a flaming wreck. You don't want to laugh because of the horror but you can't help it.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 01:32am
by Master of Ossus
When I first read this I figured it was a massive overreaction, and I could even see how Songsmith could be a pretty cool little program (albeit not one I'd be interested in). Having seen the ads, though, that is TRULY awful. How they think that those ads are going to move software for them is totally beyond me.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 02:58am
by Singer
Van Halen. If the videos above made you chuckle, this one will make your sides hurt. The whistle kills me.

All joking aside, I do think this software would be appropriate for young children. Microsoft probably should have narrowed the ad's focus to just familes with kids; then at least the juvenile nature of the ad would have been more excusable.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 03:56am
by DaveJB
I can only think that Microsoft's intention was to start a new meme and profit from the thousands of people who are going use this thing to create mangled versions of classic songs for Youtube. Granted, every single music fan in the world is going to want to burn down the Microsoft campus after this, but I think we've long established that MS are a company that don't really care what people think of them, so long as they get their money.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 04:08am
by Brother-Captain Gaius
Well I downloaded the trial.

It's... heh. In all seriousness, this is a really cool little toy for your 10 year old or someone wanting to just play around with music. It's pretty limited in terms of styles and the amount of control you have over the instrumentation, though. Most of the pre-set styles are pretty bland, with a few which stand out. You can modify a few of the instruments used to a limited range of the usual MIDI lineup, and you can manually change any given chord after it generates the 'song' based upon the inputted vocals. There was no heavy metal preset style, so I tried to use the 'rock' style to create a very simplistic tune in A minor... it doesn't work well. You have no control over the actual content of the song beyond some limited duration control and the pitch of the background instrumentation, so I couldn't even get it to play sustained guitar chords and the result was pretty unpleasant.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 04:59am
by Medic
BALLAD HOLE SONGSMITH (a straight-to-.mp3 FYI -- basically, Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden)
What the fuck is that snare drum even doing?! God damn, that melody is discordant.

Image

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 06:18am
by DaveJB
A terrible thought occurs to me... the initial wave of videos made with Songsmith seem to be jokers who are pasting samples from classic songs into the software and creating comically bad versions of them. That's all fine and dandy since the humour is intended. However, sooner or later people are going to start singing classics into this thing themselves in all seriousness, and then adding horribly inappropriate backing tracks. I get the feeling that the true horror of Songsmith is yet to be unleashed. :shock:

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 06:19am
by Duckie
Well, I'm kind of glad it's not a good program.
Songsmith In Bloom by Nirvana
Think about if anybody could make good music. The entire concept of bands would have to be rethought.

On the other hand, I want to see what songsmith does to a reading of War and Peace or Tolkien or Doom: Repercussions of Evil something after hearing this pretty rocking Barack Obama remix. Although it isn't as good as some guy's Audacity of Hope remix I heard once.

Shit someone read Doom Repercussions of Evil into it, I have to hear that now.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 06:54am
by Executor32
Hehe, it actually improved Crank That Soulja Boy. Then again, that's about as difficult as breathing. :lol:

EDIT: Also, imagine Katt Williams's Hustlin' skit with this version of the song.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 07:07am
by Duckie
That's the first time I've ever realised what Souljah Boy is saying and realised how little he's actually singing and how much he's literally just talking into a microphone while music is played over it later in the final edited product.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 07:50am
by DPDarkPrimus
I don't listen to music radio stations any more so I've never had the misfortune of listening to "Soldier Boy" but I was of the impression that he was a rapper... and isn't that kind of their thing - talking rhythmically?

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 07:58am
by Duckie
DPDarkPrimus wrote:I don't listen to music radio stations any more so I've never had the misfortune of listening to "Soldier Boy" but I was of the impression that he was a rapper... and isn't that kind of their thing - talking rhythmically?
But it's not rhythmic or related to the music at all save in 1 or 2 parts. He's just talking. The music could have been added later in postproduction for all we'd know- if I didn't know it was a song and was hearing it with just the microsoft-made audio or no music at all I'd just think he was talking to someone saying sentences that didn't make sense instead of rapping lyrics that didn't make sense.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 11:07am
by Starglider
MRDOD wrote:Think about if anybody could make good music.
Technology has already enabled pretty much anyone with a moderate income to make music. You still need talent though, plus the ability to use all the necessary software. What's wrong with reducing the amount of talent required?
The entire concept of bands would have to be rethought.
Oh, don't be silly, they'd still exist for marketing reasons even if AI could make excellent music. Which it will, eventually. Consider this version 0.01 Alpha.

Personally I'd love to have a program that you could feed a movie script into and it would autogenerate and render a whole movie for you. I don't think you'd need general AI for that, just some moderately radical reasoning technology a lot of effort engineering an appropriate knowledge base and content library.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 02:37pm
by Zixinus
Personally I'd love to have a program that you could feed a movie script into and it would autogenerate and render a whole movie for you. I don't think you'd need general AI for that, just some moderately radical reasoning technology a lot of effort engineering an appropriate knowledge base and content library.
On the note, that's somehow how I imagine post-AI art a bit. The AI does the heavy lifting by creating environments, scenes, human body characters, etc. However, human artists work out smaller details, like irregularities with a character's clothing or giving more dramatic camera angles or whatever. Essentially, the artists run around doing artistic things that the are good at.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 02:47pm
by Starglider
Zixinus wrote:On the note, that's somehow how I imagine post-AI art a bit. The AI does the heavy lifting by creating environments, scenes, human body characters, etc. However, human artists work out smaller details, like irregularities with a character's clothing or giving more dramatic camera angles or whatever. Essentially, the artists run around doing artistic things that the are good at.
Well, yes. It would spit out a first pass which you could then tweak, hopefully using an intuitive AI-assisted interface that allows changes at any level of detail, which the rest of the project being auto-regenerated to maintain consistency. With a bit more effort, procedural generation could get around the problem of content library limitations making all the output look samey.

This is in fact exactly how the technology my company is developing works, except that it applies to business software applications, not films. If this product is successful though, who knows, maybe one day we'll tackle this (or more likely, license the AI tech to Lionhead for 'The Movies 4'). :)

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 06:56pm
by DPDarkPrimus
MRDOD wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:I don't listen to music radio stations any more so I've never had the misfortune of listening to "Soldier Boy" but I was of the impression that he was a rapper... and isn't that kind of their thing - talking rhythmically?
But it's not rhythmic or related to the music at all save in 1 or 2 parts. He's just talking. The music could have been added later in postproduction for all we'd know- if I didn't know it was a song and was hearing it with just the microsoft-made audio or no music at all I'd just think he was talking to someone saying sentences that didn't make sense instead of rapping lyrics that didn't make sense.
Oh, fantastic.

I mean, I've heard some songs by famous poets where they put rhymes over rhythm tracks, but even they read it in a rapping style or give it a slight sing-song quality.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-26 07:26pm
by Oscar Wilde
In any case, soulja boy should be avoided like the plague.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-27 12:10am
by YT300000
Singer wrote:I imagine these are the songs heard on the elevator to hell.

Not included above, this one sounds like a horrendous remix:
Enter Songsmith

Edit:
Holy hell, listen to Battery.
I laughed my ass off at Enter Sandman, especially when the bongos came in. But Battery had me in stitches. Holy shit, that's funny. Especially the handful of times that a distorted guitar managed to break through the mix. :lol:

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-27 01:15am
by apocolypse
You know, I'm going to go in the minority here. It's fucking awesome. No, I'll never buy it, and no, I'll never use it. But it's one of those things for me that's so completely wrong that it manages to loop back in on itself and become right. :D

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-27 01:57am
by Dark Hellion
The more I experience it the more I love it for the sheer horror of it all. It's cthulhu-esque in that that there is a certain clarity and humor in the revulsion and insane hatred it makes you feel.

Microsoft has single-handedly created the most evil piece of software ever.

Re: Microsoft plans to kill all Music

Posted: 2009-01-27 08:18am
by Johonebesus
That hurt. It would just be funny if the music it came up with were weird or wildly divergent from the original, but its chords did not harmonize with the vocals at all. The cacophony actually hurt.

I have a rather old program called Music Time from around 1995 that I originally used to laboriously make clean and legible copies of old or cramped sheet music for my community band. Its midi sounds much, much better than the examples in the videos, even the commercial.