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By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 02:28am
by weemadando
[quote="Tunnel Rats "box spiel""]Tunnel Rats is a dark and intense single-player shooter for PC that depicts the horrific realities of the Vietnam War as seen through the eyes of a young US soldier.

As member of a “Tunnel Rats” squad, the player is trained to clearing out the huge tunnel systems underneath the jungle of Vietnam. After all of his mates got killed in an ambush, the young GI finds himself all alone, fighting against the Vietcong, their deadly traps and his growing inner madness...

* Relive the atmosphere and unique scenes of Uwe Boll’s simultaneously released movie “1968 Tunnel Rats”
* Face the claustrophobic, pitch-black tunnel maze and a war-torn jungle on the surface, riddled with the most nasty traps ever built
* Experience the dark horror of war, expressed through expressive,harsh visuals, a creepy soundtrack and shocking scenes of torture and death
* Intense, story-driven campaign with 8 levels
* Complex underground tunnel systems and hidden places
* Dark inner monologue and growing loss of grid
* 10 authentic weapons, including flamethrowers
* 20 trap types, including whip and pits, snakes and water traps
[/quote]

A game based on a Uwe Boll movie. Consider that for a moment.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 03:59am
by Oni Koneko Damien
Image

1) It's a game based off a Uwe Boll movie. That should put it in a special category of its own.
2) It's a game that consists entirely of sewer levels, generally the most disliked levels in any game.
3) It's a game based off the Vietnam conflict, which really doesn't have a good track-record in games.

I'm predicting this game will be a glorious success to people who like watching various animated video-game critics.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 04:09am
by bilateralrope
* Dark inner monologue and growing loss of grid
What does "growing loss of grid" even mean ?

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 04:28am
by pj1351
bilateralrope wrote:
* Dark inner monologue and growing loss of grid
What does "growing loss of grid" even mean ?
It was meant to be "growing loss of grip", perhaps? Still sounds stupid regardless.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 09:15am
by Oskuro
Oni Koneko Damien wrote:I'm predicting this game will be a glorious success to people who like watching various animated video-game critics.
Nah, it'll be so bad it'll drop off the other side of his hate spectrum (like Sonic Unleashed). Besides, it's funnier to criticize games that someone actually believes are good, and an Uwe Boll-based game probably requires the developers to be chained and tasered into submission for fear of them chopping their hands off with office stationary.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 12:38pm
by defanatic
But... This isn't Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 12:56pm
by General Zod
It's worth noting that this game was produced by the same people who made Velvet Assassin. Joystiq's first Joystiquitter recipient.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-17 07:07pm
by Crossroads Inc.
Oni Koneko Damien wrote:Image
This one I think works far better:
Image

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-18 03:57pm
by chitoryu12
I thought the movies were supposed to be based off of the games, not the other way around?

If that link is right in suggesting that Boll himself is involved with the production of the game, I feel sorry for the developers. Exactly how many coherent plots and good ideas has he managed to come up with in the past twenty years or so?

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-18 04:05pm
by Stark
Yeah, I hear a game's source, inspiration or influence is what makes it the 'worst game ever' and not anything like it's implementation, attributes, design decisions, etc. Shovelware sucks because of the movie it's based on, and not because it's shovelware.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-18 10:53pm
by chitoryu12
Judging from the screenshots, they definitely put some work into the graphics and models. At least that indicates that they're putting some EFFORT into the game, as opposed to, say, the History Channel games.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-18 11:07pm
by General Zod
chitoryu12 wrote:Judging from the screenshots, they definitely put some work into the graphics and models. At least that indicates that they're putting some EFFORT into the game, as opposed to, say, the History Channel games.
They put some work into the graphics and models for Velvet Assassin too. :lol: :lol:

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-19 04:43am
by Ford Prefect
Zod, do you have some actual criticisms for Velvet Assassin? That website you linked to dropped the game because it was apparently repetitive and there aren't enough checkpoints, which is frankly not a unique crime or particularly egregious. It's about as worthwhile as me linking to the thread where Chardok talks about how he likes it. While admittedly Chardok farms Guild Wars for loot and is clearly deranged, it's about as valid.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-19 05:13am
by Oskuro
Stark wrote:Yeah, I hear a game's source, inspiration or influence is what makes it the 'worst game ever' and not anything like it's implementation, attributes, design decisions, etc. Shovelware sucks because of the movie it's based on, and not because it's shovelware.
Darn, I got some Stark in my Uwe Boll Mockery.

Re: By definition, this is the worst game ever.

Posted: 2009-05-19 08:34am
by General Zod
Ford Prefect wrote:Zod, do you have some actual criticisms for Velvet Assassin? That website you linked to dropped the game because it was apparently repetitive and there aren't enough checkpoints, which is frankly not a unique crime or particularly egregious. It's about as worthwhile as me linking to the thread where Chardok talks about how he likes it. While admittedly Chardok farms Guild Wars for loot and is clearly deranged, it's about as valid.
The game also seems to depend a lot on rote memorization of enemy behavior. Quite frankly every game I've played where that was essential ultimately turned out to suck, since any kind of strategy you might otherwise come up with is going to be effectively worthless. Rewarding player creativity? Who needs that! :)