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Somewhere else...

"We are almost there, Herr Kaleun!"

The large Benzwagen bumped on a bomb crater, jumping into the air before crashing back into the asphalt in slow motion. No mere mixture of gravel and chemicals could stop a product of proud Thanasian industry, and so the car simply continued to oppress the road like it was a Pollackistani.

Wait, thought the vehicle's lone passenger, What the fuck did he just say? Where the hell am I?

The man groaned. He looked through the window, although concentrating on the outside world was difficult due to the splitting headache that reminded him very much of a terrible hangover. He vaguely remembered getting smashed with his friends, but not much besides that.

The street outside was drab and grey, full of people wearing weird blue smocks and berets and looking at him with pure hatred.

The hell? I'm in France?, the passenger thought, remembering his experience from Paris. A waiter there looked at him just about the same after he demanded a pure Murcan steak and Freedom Fries.

"Yes, those Zenobian workers are like that, herr Kaleun, but don't worry. After we inevitably defeat the rotten West and their commienist utopia, they will know who their master is!"

The Benzwagen barely avoided another bomb crater, and weaved expertly around a burned-out truck.

The passenger's confusion grew. Defeat? The rotten west? WE?!

Wait...why am I thinking in Thanasian?

He could feel a rush of panic as he looked down, at his all-black uniform and elegant leather briefcase and nice shoes...

No no no no NO!!! he screamed inside, and then screamed outside when the Beznwagen's drivers slammed on the brakes.

"We are here!", he announced proudly, "HE is waiting inside!"

"Who?"

The drivers just looked at the passenger in confusion.

"Uh, you know...HE. Oh no...he's coming here! Get out! GET OUT!"

The passenger stumbled out onto the debris-covered sidewalk. Some sort of terribly huge building stood there. It was reinforced with sandbags and had a great many holes in it. One side was collapsed.

Barely did he manage to dust himself off when he looked up and stared into a most terrifying face.



The man glared at him with his piercing little eyes. The cigarette he was holding in his mouth twitched slightly. The passenger suddenly felt very small. His migraine got worse.

"Ja", the apparition said, "Jawohl. You will do. What's your name, sailor?"

What is my name? Jeebus,think quick!"

---

ENTER YOUR NAME, RANK AND SPECIALTY (WE'RE ALL OUT OF DAY SPECIALS)

_

I'll bite:

Lieutenant Ian Skywalker

Specialty: Weapons (tactical officer if you will)

So, what exactly am I getting myself into here?

Sh3? With grey wolves modification?

Thanas wrote:Sh3? With grey wolves modification?

Jawohl! A 1943 war patrol!

"I...uh...I am...", the man fished for an answer, desperate to buy time. What could he say? There were lots of strange looking but very well armed soldiers about. The adrenaline was absolutely unbearable. One more moment and they'd realize who he was and then...

"IAN SKYWALKER!", he blurted out. Silence fell.

Oh, fuck

"What sort of a name is that? Ah, whatever. Must be a Bavarian thing."

Then the terrifying bearded man remembered something, "Wait a verrdammt minute! You're alone? Where the hell is the kapittanleutnant I was promised?!", he glared angrily.

Skywalker fainted.

---

He woke up to the sight on another terrifying face. That one was wearing a crumpled and dirty white hat, which the unfortunate transplant from another time somehow recognized as a captain's hat.

"Who...eh...where...?"

"What a wimp...get up. My name's..."

Somehow, reality scrambled and froze.

PLEASE ENTER YOUR NAME AND RANK

Oberleutnant zur See Merkel Thanas.

Specialty: OPPRESSING ENEMY SHIPPING - eh...Kommandant, please.

Well like I would use my real name in this situation. I gathered that much from the first post. Looking forward to seeing where this goes though.

Obersteuermann Hans Joachim von Doofenberg reporting for duty!

I DRIVE BOOTS GOOD.

"My name's Oberleutnant zur Zee Merkel Thanas, and I am your commander! Stand at attention! Look at you! What sort of pathetic Bavarian degenerate are you?!"

Leutnant Skywalker - he decided to use that name, since everybody thought it was legit for some insane reason - tried to stand up straight, but he was still in shock. Why was that horrible bearded Thanasian man yelling what him? He was his commander? A commander of what?

Whoever he was, kommandant Thanas continued his tireless tirade, "This is a sorry mess! Is this the quality of the recruits thhe bDu is sending us these days? Look at him! Tumsen, just look at him! That's supposed to be our weapons officer?"

"Do I look like I care?", the bearded, terrifying man called Tumsen said, "Oh wait! I just remembered that I don't! Deal with it, kommandant Thanas."

Tumsen finally lit his cigarette, and it smelt every bit as foul as Skywalker expected it would, "Now, there should be some...prospectful young officers wandering around. If they weren't blown to bits by Murcan bombers yet. Put together something resembling a command crew and report to your boat. It's moored in dock 4. Or 7. Or 10. I don't remember. Find it yourself."

"But...", Skywalker tried feebly to protest. Tumsen's stare shut him up - the man didn't seem to care, but sure as hell could glare.

---

KOMMANDANT THANAS: ENTER POSITIONS THAT NEED FILLING

Need:

1WO (spotter, likely to be killed by MURCAN planes)
Engineer
another nav officer/2WO

Boot.....VIIC/41, VIIC or IXc?

Thanas wrote: Boot.....VIIC/41, VIIC or IXc?

That's a good question. It would be good to ask Tumsen, aber he's gone

Lieutenant (or equivalent German/THANASIAN rank) Gebieter Zwingen (Lord Force in German, or so Google thinks. Thanas please check).

Specialty: Engineer

Ok..I'll bite.

Oberbootsmann D. Ritterbachen . Ehemaliger Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän, now reduced to serving as a cheif petty officer in the Thanasian Kriegsmarine.

::edit::
forgot to add

I wear my Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmütze as a glücksbringer and my specialty is in communications systems/cipher technology.

Force Lord wrote:Lieutenant (or equivalent German/THANASIAN rank) Gebieter Zwingen (Lord Force in German, or so Google thinks. Thanas please check).

Specialty: Engineer

Not quite but pretty good, especially considering the hilarity of it.

As for boot, let's take the VIIC/41. Deepest dive, very nimble....good for survival.

IXC better if we go for the caribbean but don't think so.

Dargos wrote:Ehemaliger Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän

Lol. Don't forget your Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänmütze with the Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänmützenabzeichen.

As petty officer, I guess sonar?

Jesus christ, that's a real word?

Kommandant Thanas..see edit above , as to my position, I leave that in the hands of our most dilligent Kommandant. After the war I hope to return and work for the Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft. You see my Uncle Gerhard is keeping a position open for me.

And yes its a real word. The german language is chock full of extremly long compound words, but most are no longer used in everyday situations. The longest I've heard used recently Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften.

Off topic: the longest published word in German is Donau­dampfschiffahrts­elektrizitäten­haupt­betriebs­werkbau­unterbeamten­gesellschaft.

(Off Topic) That...is a long word...how does one even go about saying that? I mean I know some German (very little) but I can't imagine saying that big of a word...

(On Topic): Man, I feel sorry for my character. Must suck to be him. Now, to go hunt the Murcans down (did I get that right?).

Oberleutnant Hans von Shapp is the engineer. Somehow is not bothered by the huge noise of the dieselraum. Somehow escaped hearing tests that would reveal he is in fact deaf.

Unfortunately, the chief engineer spot is filled by a man with a strange but apparenty very hilarious Thanasoid name!

Obviously, Shep and Force Lord need to fight it out for the chief engineer slot.

[gets popcorn]

Ja! Herr von Shapp, I challenge you to a duel!

PeZook wrote:Unfortunately, the chief engineer spot is filled by a man with a strange but apparenty very hilarious Thanasoid name!

Then make me the Chief Watch Officer. For hilarious LULZ when I mis-hear someone and order a crash dive to 200 metres with the captain sunning himself on the cigarette deck.

MKSheppard wrote: Then make me the Chief Watch Officer. For hilarious LULZ when I mis-hear someone and order a crash dive to 200 metres with the captain sunning himself on the cigarette deck.

This will be a most elite crew that's guaranteed to survive the upcoming patrol, jawohl!

*winces* I'm glad I'm the weapons guy. Don't need to worry about being on deck when your only job is to shoot torpedos. Unless our glorious commander decides to be stupid brave and has us use the deck gun.