Go to www.gamepsy.com to see the other dumbest moments in gaming history (they haven't finished it yet, it'll be done by the end of this week). Don't crucify me, gigantism-inflicted X-Box fans!Designing Shaq's Controller
In a sort of reverse-mirror twist on the moronic controller debacle that Sega faced with the introduction of the Saturn in the U.S., Microsoft used focus testing to devise a controller that will probably go down in history as the most maligned pad ever packed in with a major video-game console. The Xbox controller shocked everyone with its awesome girth. It turned out that only males with meaty hands were comfortable with the behemoth, which was larger and heavier than any pad that had yet graced the market. Derision from gamers was swift, and soon after the system's launch in November of 2001, many were seen scrambling for a third-party solution to the controller situation while Microsoft bravely maintained that people liked the thing.
It was so big we could only show you this much, hohoho. The solution was obvious, though. To combat the horror of a pad that would barely fit inside Japanese gamers' homes, let alone their hands, Microsoft of Japan prepared a more svelte, more comfortable controller for the console in time for its February 2002 Japanese launch. Although it was still the biggest of the three systems' pads, it was much more in line with the size of Sony's Dual Shock 2. Informal reports from developers suggested that they'd all ditched the colossus for the comfort of the Japanese redesign, yet Microsoft wasn't interested in releasing it in the U.S. Time passed, and Microsoft finally decided to release the so-called Controller S in the U.S. after importers reported brisk sales of the Japanese pad. A few months later, Microsoft quietly discontinued the original controller, making the S standard equipment on all Xboxes.
ferricide: The road of the Xbox has been rocky from time to time. There are a lot of great ideas in the system, but there are plenty of first-timer mistakes, too. One of them has been heavily relying on the opinions of a core audience of god knows who -- twelve-year-old boys? -- when designing every aspect of the system's appearance: the embarrassing, huge and clunky box itself, and the monstrous original pad. I remember the first time I picked up an Xbox pad, I was like, "Could this possibly be any bigger?" It wasn't actually as bad as I'd feared, but there's no way I'd go back to the original now that the S is out. The weird oblong buttons were another problem with it -- not to mention that amorphous digital pad. Blech. But at least it gave rise to a great running joke on Penny Arcade.
Ben: What can I say without getting too prickly? It wasn't an especially good controller, and was even worse for a D-pad freak like myself. And the buttons ... what was with the buttons? Who could possibly have thought that oblong buttons were a good idea, let alone the way forward? Lunacy!
To add an ironic twist, Microsoft made a habit of trumpeting how much it had supposedly consulted real gamers while designing the Xbox. My brain shuts down when I think about this. I just can't see how it's true. The system is an aesthetic nightmare (compared to current competitors, anyway) and, well, we already talked about the controller. So, a suggestion for the guys in Redmond: When designing Xbox 2, screen for gigantism when putting together your focus groups. This change, while small, could make a huge difference. Literally.
Sluggo: It amazes me how often developers think they need to fix things that aren't broken. What 13-year-old kid would really be comfortable with a controller just slightly smaller than a bowling ball? As Christian mentioned, it did lead to some fun running gags on Penny Arcade, which were right on.
And, although I'm much more comfortable with the S controller, I still feel like there are improvements that could be made, such as the tiny white-and-black buttons being made the same size as the other buttons, or laid out in a 6-button config similar to the later Genesis pads, or even Microsoft's own Sidewinder PC controller. If Microsoft is going to stay in the console business, hopefully it'll learn a few valuable lessons from these mistakes.
The running joke