StarDestroyer.Net BBS

This is something that was brought to mind by a few interesting encounters of mine, and since a lot of people here seem to like first-person shooters, I thought it would work. Consider this thread the one where you can relate funny stories of things that happened to you in an FPS, either single or multi-player. And since it's my thread, I thought I'd kick things off with a few funny things that happened to me in Counter-Strike:

A) Okay, so I'm playing on de_aztec with some real punk-ass CTs (I'm playing Terrorist this game, mind), and I bought the C90 before heading out. Well, there was one guy ahead of me and one in back...the first guy rounds the corner and trades shots with a whole mess of CTs, gets shot, so me and the other guy fall back and wait. The CTs come running around the bend like they don't have a care in the world, and between my C90 and his AK we've gotten god-knows-how-many of them; I personally bagged two. Then they start calling us campers, even though they saw us and failed to do anything until we had backed up. Sore losers...

B) On the same game, I had an auto-shotgun but not enough money for extra ammo...so I figured I'd switch to the pistol and then switch back if needed. Well, there's a CT running at me with what I later figured out was an M4, and he hasn't seen me yet...so I let him have it, and by the time the dust has cleared he's dead, he's still alive, and I just realized: 'Holy fuck, I nailed someone across the room with the Glock'. Complete fluke.

C) Earlier that day on another server, some guy had an amusing logo. We first noticed it when somebody went up on the roof to snipe, and saw a naked chick painted on. It took us a second to realize that someone had somehow gotten a porno picture as their spray, so whenever they went to spraypaint their logo they'd draw the porn. Everyone went for sniper rifles next game...

In Natural Selection I was marine and I was sneaking through a vent toward the Alien hive, armed with jetpack and Heavy Machine Gun. An enemy player crawls up to front of me and the two of us stare at each other for a second. Then he rushes me and I give him a lead salad with my HMG.

(Natural Selection is a Half-Life mod)

Nitpick: Its a P90, not a C90.

Its a damn fine gun, though. I like it on de_vertigo especially.

In a DoD game a few months ago on dod_schwetz I re-enacted (by accident) the scene from Saving Private Ryan where both the guys run into each other, run out out of ammo, throw their helmets at each other and go for their sidearms. Obviously I couldn't throw my helmet but I emptied my Springfield and he emptied his Mauser, he tried to reload while I went for my Colt. I fired the whole clip to no effect and he had his Mauser reloaded. He missed with all five shots again as I tried to reload my Springfield... then he whipped out his shovel and killed me

Absolutely hilarious though.

I have some great Quake 1 memories.

I remember running into a room of people who where standing in a circle for some reason and killing one with my axe.

I remember chasing a friend around the corner and killing him with an axe.

One amazing time I was following 2 other guys across a bridge as we where moving to the enemy flag station, in the water below some guy fragged himself with the lightening gun, and I saw before my eyes the two guys I was following fly apart into gibs. I survived with a few health.

Then for the next few minutes everyone forgot about the flags and we all played a game of who could get the lightening gun first and pull the trigger. Hahah. There were so many gibs in the water. One time like 8 people died in the water at the same time, and I saw chunks floating down. I had 1 hit point left, PHEEEW! I ran away!

Well, I was at this LAN party with about 8 friends, and we were playing CS on de_aztec. One of my CT buddies suddenly gets, I kid you not, 4 headshots in a row. Like, within a few seconds. He jumps up from his seat, holds his hands up in the air, and starts screaming about how he's not cheating and it was just a fluke. We knew he wasn't, but it was funny as shit.

Even though I don't play anymore, I'm going to entertain you all when I get back with a montage of various D2 screencaps I have of items, monsters, and glitches.

Playing Rainbow 6 multiplayer back in 99. 3 of us held of a 5 man opposition team for 32 consecutive rounds on the "fortress" game mode.

In BF 1942 once, we were playing Midway, and while there were battles between ships and on the big island and the such, a friend and I kept fighting over the flag on the small island, basically, he'd walk in, shoot me, I'd respawn, kill him, he'd respawn kill me. Etc.

I was once playing GoldenEye with mantakai (As you know him), were were on the Facility level, with License to Kill on, he chased me from near the tank rooms, with a PP7, down to the main part, me still alive, strafing like there's no tomorrow, around the back of the level, I ran up the stairs, picked up a PP7 turned around and shot him.

Your average Red Faction player was severely crap, so me and the guys I used to play with would show up on the server and agree to use nothing but batons (RF's melee weapon, works like a taser). It was actually quite easy to do. You hide around corners, catch people between reloads, or catch them when they run for armor or a power-up.

The defining moment was when someone said "Spyder, plz stop killing me with the baton."

I'd scored a total of 8 when he said that and it was the same guy that I kept killing. Probably wasn't as fun for him as it was for me

Another time was when myself and another regular were both going batons, we both had about 5% health before ran and jumped at each other at the same time. Due to RF's somewhat primitive animations this looked a little odd from the point of view of the person watching; the two models jumped into each other, touched each other and died, falling unceremoniously to the ground.

I was playing the Coral sea map of bf 1942 i was an engineer. There was the usual retard on my team shooting our own planes while they take off.. so while he was laying prone next to the ammo crate i tossed out all 4 of my det packs and walk back and let em have it (friendly fire off) it shoots him roughly about 40 feet into the air right into the path of an incoming zero bombing the carrier.. he hits the plane and they both blow up.. i fell outta my chair.. wonder what the pilot thought getting killed by a flying soldier

When I'm playing Golden Eye, I've become known as "the streak stopper". Basically, whenever one of my friends gets hot and starts killing people in droves, inevitably they run afoul and get killed by me.

Anyways, we were in a situation where one of my friends named Jeremy had already established a big lead, and was getting ready to win the game. Then, another player named Dave gets hot and goes on a massive killing spree. Jeremy just cannot seal the deal, and get the win. Dave stays hot until both he and Jeremy need one kill to win the game. Dave is getting all excited because he's thinking he's about to pull off a spectacular come-from-behind win. Jeremy keeps getting killed, so he's starting to get frustrated. So, we're running around in the Temple, and Dave sights in on his last victim. Dave starts moving into position with his KF-Soviet, ready to finish the job and win the game. However, it was not to be. From a long ways off, I happened to round a corner and see an unsuspecting Dave zeroing in on an equally unsuspecting victim. He never saw the Moonraker shot coming. ZAP. Dave's screen goes red, and moments later Jeremy gets the kill he needs to win the game.

The controller goes flying, and Dave is PISSED. He cusses me out for a good ten minutes, and storms off into his room. It's like two hours before we see him again.

I remember hitting the 10 second invulnerability just as 5 campers nailed me with multipal super weapons in Rise of the Triad. The force of their attack, sent me THROUGH a wall. Since I was invulnerable, I took no damage. Now figuring out how to get back into the arena since I was in an area with no doorways etc. Was a pain in the ass.

Funny part is I found powerups throught the "Limbo"

Playing BF 1942: I'm the only one who has managed to shoot down a plane with the bazooka. Had to aim about 200 meters in front of him

Playing Desert Combat:
On Berlin (we were defending): The other team is trying to get the top right point (there were 4 or 5 people). So they get close enough to be able to capture the Flag. They had just killed me before, so I knew they were there. The time was just enough that I could respawn. So I respawned and blasted them all to bits They were not happy, to be honest. :p

Same map (during a LAN). We were attacking, and we got the other team down to the bottom right spawn point. As we were playing with around 40 people it was impossible to capture the point. I always spawned in the top right when I died. I would go along the side (prone most of the time), kill anyone who so much as peeks out of the side, throw grenades into their base and storm in with guns blazing. I got between 4-8 kills everytime. It ended with me having more kills than the second and third together. I was laughing, the others weren't

I also remember becoming a 1% health death Sat in a Quake Game...

Literially getting stuck on the roof by someone's Rocket launcher/railgun hits and not being able to get down. But having lot's of ammo, and a bird's eye view. <You Einy can we say Ion Cannon ready?>

Any FATASS mission fits a Funny FPS Story. FATASS was from Tribes.

It stands for First Assault's Tactical AeroSpace Squad. Or, Those Guys With The Heavy Suits.

Heavies had an odd bug in Tribes. They could Ski. This, coupled with the sheer mayhem a few well-coordinated Heavies can create, made us terrifying.

This particular story truly is funny, because it was the one time the jeering reached an apex and we actually went into a match without heavy suits.

Pilot/Designators, the two of our team that always wore Light suits anyway, were fine. They ran around and sniped stuff like always, though occasional attempts to use targetting lasers failed.

Bombadiers, including Jim, my roommate, found that Medium suits aren't used for a good reason: They suck. Attempts to use Grenade Launchers as makeshift mortars are best outlined in their 20 consequtive deaths.

For those of you familiar with Tribes, please picture this: A Light suit, bouncing up and down on a hill in an attempt to ski. Every so often, someone rampages that way and kills him. This was Stephen, failing to learn from testing.

Highest player-kill count goes to Alexandra, Token Female. She had the gall(Foresight?) to grab an Engineer suit, and her nifty repair gun kept the base defenses online enough to repel attackers.

I am proud to say I'm the only one to breach the defense of the opposition. I had grabbed a Chameleon suit, which auto-defenses ignored. While everyone was busy laughing at the Heavies who aren't Heavies, I snuck into the base. I laid -alot- of mines. I mean, alot. No one could approach the item machines or power supply without blowing up. And the power supply? Plastique.

Final score: FATASS - 1, Challenges - 0. Long live the Fat Man.

One early beta Counter Strike game (like, back when the M4 was permanently silenced and had a scope), my Terrorist team was getting royally beaten down on cs_siege. After some disgust, I changed my named to "Antonio Montana," bought a pump-shotty and crouched in the hostage room. My team learns the truth about heaven rather quickly, and then the CTs sweep around to find me.

It was then that I used my /say binds to goad them.

Antonio Montana: Who do you think you're fucking with?
0wnz0r: what?
Antonio Montana: I'm Tony FUCKING Montana, man! You fucking with me, you fucking with the best!
SWAT: lol
Antonio Montana: You want to fucking kill me, maricon? Well, come into the room and kill me!
0wnz0r: no, you come out
Antonio Montana: The only thing that gives orders, is balls.
Antonio Montana: Say 'allo to my leetle fren'!

This was sufficient to get three out of five CTs to rush the doors, which turned out rather badly for them. It took a full tube and half my life, but I managed to kill all of them with my rocking benelli work. Then I swapped it for a nice M4 (which was dangerously unbalanced in those days ) and rushed out. The remaining two CTs both had flashbangs equipped and were probably not expecting a suicide rush.

A winner was me

lol Pablo

Who says RPers don't exist in FPS games.

/say is always fun.

From my FATASS days...

'FMS! FMS! FMS!' repeated over and over by the whole team. Eventually someone asks what FMS means, and we kill them.

'Fatal Mob Stabbing!' the chant changes to.

'BOOBIES!' and 'PORN!' are classics in and of themselves. It's apparantly disconcerting to see a FATASS heavy coming at you, yelling about boobs.

The only moment that really comes to mind was when I was playing Island Thunder a few months ago. I had a SAW and pistol as my weapons and was using the pistol to clear out a house on the prison complex map. I open the door and find a guy standing almost directly in front of me, so I shoot him in the chest, no damage because of his armor. I then proceeded to empty the magazine, slowly into his chest. None of the shot hurt him but they jerked him around so he couldn't shoot back. Then I reloaded and did it again with another full magazine, you can reload a handgun faster then someone recovers from being hit. But this time the fifteenth shot went into his head.

Stupid but fun.

The joy of a AWM, which can shoot through walls, and a buggy video card driver, which let me see through walls...

"How the heck did I die?"