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Quake Haikus

Posted: 2003-09-12 04:40pm
by YT300000
Inspired by Einhander's railgun haiku, here are a few I thought of for Quake 1.

One word to describe
Fighting with a Fiend on hard
Eviscerated

Never rocket a Shambler
Or you will piss him off
And then you will die

Why do all the game
Companies name their really
Crap enemies Grunts?

Lightning gun kicks ass
That's all you really need to
Know, to win the game

Why do skeletons
Explode in much blood and gore
When you rocket them?

Red and brown always
Surround you, blood on the walls
Ah, Quake, what fun t'was

So, what do you all think?

Posted: 2003-09-12 05:39pm
by kojikun
Some of them, MOST of them, dont work as haiku. Each line is supposed to be a seperate part, not just a line return of a long part. You should have periods or comas at the end of every line, but you have run ons. It doesnt work.

Posted: 2003-09-12 06:39pm
by Chardok
I rather enjoyed them, despite their decided un-haiku-ness. Keep up the good work, and heed koji's words, envenomed though they be.

Posted: 2003-09-12 06:46pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
T3h R0X0R!! Make sure they are tied together with a theme like my Railgun haiku. That one has a decided 'Railgun as God' flavor. :)

Posted: 2003-09-12 08:17pm
by YT300000
kojikun wrote:Some of them, MOST of them, dont work as haiku. Each line is supposed to be a seperate part, not just a line return of a long part. You should have periods or comas at the end of every line, but you have run ons. It doesnt work.
Oh. That makes it harder.