StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Here's the idea: Describe your experiences with the role-playing games you play or have played as though they were girlfriends or boyfriends: Were they good for you or did they end up leaving you and breaking your heart, and what were they like when you were with them?

Have fun and pretend. This is your imagination, after all.

My turn first:

Star Wars (WEG/D6, the original and still the best) was my first. My cousin, actually, introduced me to her. She was quick-witted, brilliant, sexy and cool as all get out (though sometimes she wore the WEIRDEST hairstyles!). But because I was young and a fool, I broke up with her and went out with Robotech.

Robotech was cuter and seemed more sophisticated at the time, but she turned out to be just plain neurotic. Against my better judgment, I decided to go out with her younger sister, Rifts, who ate up half of my high school years and really gave me nothing in return.

I met Mekton Zeta through a mutual friend in 1995 and we've been going out ever since. She's really everything I've ever wanted - as quick-witted and brilliant as Star Wars, but even easier to talk to and the sex is incredible. I've even had a few nights with her twin sister, Cyberpunk. But it's an open relationship - she doesn't seem to mind that I sleep with D&D almost as much as with her.

Speaking of Dungeons & Dragons... a lot of guys either don't understand her or just plain don't like her, but she's a sweet girl once you get close to her, and you can really do some twisted, kinky things with her if you set your mind to it.

For a couple of years, Big Eyes, Small Mouth has been trying to catch my eye, but every time I try to get close to her, I come away with the impression that everything I could do with her, I could do just as easily with Mekton Z.

I first met Dungeons and Dragons in my freshman year in college. We had a wonderfull time together though after a while I found her to be a little pretentious and we did not share the same views on Magic. We still see each other every now and then, just not as much anymore.

About a year ago I met Unisystem Lite who shared my love of movies and sci-fi to an excelent extent. So far its been smooth sailing with her.

When I first met ADnD it seemed that she was beyond my grasp, a little too complex, but it was only a few dates later that we were getting along famously. Then that fell apart and we drifted away for a few years.

Then at uni I shacked up with her older sexier sister ADnD 1st Ed. It was great times until I started seeing someone else, her name was Amber. And she was diceless.

It was love at first sight, she was not nearly as shallow as ADnD, but had an amazing depth of character. She was easy going and got along with all my friends, plus I wasn't worried about being seen with her in public. Sure there were little side flings, like SLA, who I just never got along with and some early meetings with a Vampire, but then, sadly Amber drifted away and I was left alone for a long time. I courted RIFTS, but we just didn't get along.

Then, just recently I ran into WHFRP and we had a fling for a while before getting involved with Vampire again (it was nice for a time, but then I got bored and we had a messy break-up). In the meantime it looked like Amber might come back, but then she left again, RIFTS came back and we've been seeing each other regularly. I've had a string of one night stands with a nice asian lady (Hong Kong Action Theatre).

But then some strange lady pulled me into the shadows and said that she was named Conspiracy X, and I fell in love all over again, she had her flaws, but I love her all the same. She's a modern girl with sophisticated tastes, but still easy to look after.

And that is why I'm an RPG man-whore. There's been a few more liasons, but they were so brief that its not worth mentioning, I suppose I could include some of my "cyber-sex" relationships, but they seem somewhat shallow and trivial.

The D&D Gals.

D&D is like the 'Girl Next Door'. She's short and sweet and still got a good trim figure even after all these years. A nice christian girl (anglican, low church) Going out with her was simple and uncomplicated and everyone knows her which is handy for parties and dances. A decent, low maintainance gal with fairy simple morals. She's not too complicated so best stick with dinner and a movie when going out.

AD&D. D&D's younger sister by about two years. Acts like a nice christian girl (anglican, high church). Not that you'ld notice. She's a lot more, well... she's got these great tits and a nice ass. Sex with AD&D was hot, hard and exciting. A night out with AD&D can end up taking the entire weekend and leave you totally shattered and exhausted. Unfortunatly, she was a little neurotic about her body and kept taking all sorts of wierd supplements and took to over eating. You remember her quite fondly, but the years just have not been kind to her.

2nd ed. AD&Ds daughter. She has her mother's figure and looks like she'd be fun both out and about and in the sack. But, like some children of the fast and loose she's pretty much the opposite. Goes to the same church as her mother but seems to take it seriously. Has none of the neat vices mom did. Likes travel and going on OEs. If you get 2nd ed into bed, you'ld better like the missionary position. Very nervous about body image. You'ld never see her not eating or popping a pill. Now on Xenical.

3rd ed. AD&Ds other daughter by her second husband. Great body and dresses in hot clothes. Drives a red porshe daddy bought her. Has had beauty surgery to hide the fact that she eats as much as mom and sis combined. Goes to a baptist church but apparently likes a good time. Still, think twice about this chick. Sure, she's hot but what a control freak! And acts like she's center of the universe. Rumoured to of bought a book on sex. Just be warned.

SF chicks

Traveller. A petite mousy looking chick you met in the Library where she works. Not much to look at she wins you over by being smart, classy and snogging you in the history aisles. Her idea of a good date is a weekend skiing in Switzerland. Sex with Traveller, while fun is slightly marred by the fact that she talks too much. It's her one major problem and the main reason you dated the D&D sisters at the same time. Comes from a big catholic family. Any time you ask her what she believes in the explanation just confuses you and wondering what D&D is doing.

Traveller has a lot of sisters (it's a very big family). They're all lecturers in astrophysics, philosophers and math teachers. They're all interesting and sexy in that intellectual way and they all talk too much. The exception is Mega who just isn't bright but seems to have tenure at the local university thanks to her clan.

Gamma World. As dim as Mega Traveller is, Gamma is definitly the dumbest broad you dated. She looks nice and seems related to D&D. But you're going out with someone who giggles all the time. Talking to her is a waste of time. Most don't go out with Gamma more than once. Feel sorry for anyone dating her on a continual basis because someone set them up with her.

Star Frontiers. This babe runs a second hand SF book shop near the library. While not as smart or sophisticated as Traveller she's as much fun and definitly doesn't talk as much. Likes classic cars and nights in front of the fire with pulps or B-movies. Good in bed. Unfortunatly, you lost track of her over the years and occasionally wonder what happened to her. Asking her relatives doesn't work as they seem to of disowned her.

Space Opera. Geophysics research fellow at university. An older woman with athletic curves. Space's idea of a date is an Iron man contest followed by skiing and a 'sleepover' in her mountain chalet. Going out with Space is certainly educational in more ways than one. After dating her you're practically able to date anyone.

I have had torrid affairs with all of the Final Fantasy games, eventualy fucking each and all of their brains out until they got boring. Every once in a while I call one of them back up for a romp but they just aren't as exciting any more. Although the other day I did see Chrono Trigger and that game was looking pretty good, so we started playing (new game plus) for a while and as soon as I got into it I realized it couldn't be the same anymore. Then there's that bitch Chrono Cross, what a joke, I lefter her not long after we were introduced.

Some like it kinky

Paranoia. This is a woman with weird tastes. Likes old movies and dystopian SF. Has a job as a lawyer (crown prosecutor) and plays in a metal band. Her ideal date involves going to a museum and then an amusement park. Enjoys dress up and spankings but the Groucho glasses can be a bit much. While fun and sexy, you can't go out with her on an extended basis. She really is more fun than you can stand. Discordian.

HOL. Miss alternative lifestyle. She dresses in leather, studs and has a 'dungeon'. Enjoys causing pain and anguish and one does not date this woman as much as has 'sessions'. Has a big chip on her shoulder concerning most of the other women you've known. Won't say what she believes in and puts on an act to shock people.

Torg. Paranoia's sister. Also a lawyer (barrister), plays the cello, swims, is a rugby coach, cooks exotic meals and writes bodice rippers under a pseudonym. Is good looking and an absolute tiger in bed. But, damn she's busy. Always. Does this woman ever sleep? Not that that's always a bad thing. It's just hard keeping up with her. A pagan with some truly odd notions.

Toon. Great fun at parties, but a little young and the constant puns and silly quotes will get to you. You often end up in bed with this chick at cons wondering just where she got all the whipped cream and custard. It's a good thing she lives nowhere near you.

Moved to G&C.

Previously posted elsewhere:

From what I understand of WW, the system is like an abused wife. The writers and a considerable number of the players are the drunk, abusive husbands who just want her to shut up, make dinner, clean the house, and have sex.

D&D is like your first girlfriend. You get all built up over it, you dream about it, think it's so great, think it's "the one". Then one day several years later you realize that you both were young, inexperienced, fumbling, but overall it's what got you started on your path. Maybe you go on to make your own system, or maybe you find the one that's right for you, but in the end, you move on. Those who don't, well...if they're happy, hey, they'll never know.

Now, Silhouette, that system is like a fine woman...curves in all the right places, and in action, Yowza! She'd make the Pope want to...uh...play role-playing games...yeah...

What? That's what I was going to say...

Oh, I remember my first love. She had dangerous curves and pouty lips. A perfect combination for a young airman who's away from home for the first time. Her name was Cyberpunk. Our first night together was a horrible disaster. What can I say? It was my first time. It does happen to everybody, right? She took pity on me, so that wasn't our only time together. I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me, but it was a lot more fun when more people joined us. She was... intoxicating. Men, women, all together being themselves, or someone else, it didn't matter to her. She loved all the attention. Sadly, after I left station she and I lost touch.

It would be many years before I met another girl. But it was a new age. People were trying new things. It was Diablo (II) that struck my fancy. She wasn't like other girls. She was more of a tomboy. She could swig grog, spit and curse as good as any sailor, perhaps even better. She met up with, how to put it delicately... another "tomboy", Lord of Destruction and I haven't heard from either of them since.

It wasn't long after that when I met my first long time relationship. Dark Age of Camelot was about as sweet a woman as you would want to meet. She and I would spend countless hours, many time all night, together cuddled close together sharing each others' secrets. I heard she was related to EverQuest, but DAoC and EQ weren't exactly on speaking terms. As with many good things, there was a price - and boy did I pay it. DAoC was sweet, as I said, but she was also needy. Needy for my money that is. I still think about her sometimes, but I also like my bank account the way it is.

Although DAoC and I were in a semi-committed long-term relationship, it was also a little open. I met and quickly dismissed a few other women while still remaining true. Earth and Beyond was... well, she was a bit flighty. She liked going places. I don't mean places as in around tound, out to eat, wine and dine. No, I mean she liked to go places far away, stay for a few minutes and then come right back. It was like that all the time. I ended that quickly.

That was all done and over with sometime last year. Since then, I've decided that I don't need no stinkin' woman in my life. That is, until I ran into her. She has dangerous curves and full pouty lips, and she's still randy minx if ever there was one. She's a little more mature, as am I. She's also learned how to be more intimate with her feelings. I don't know how long she'll be in my life this time, but I'm glad to see her again.