Jesus: Combat Evolved (no, for real)

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-11-21 02:45am

Industry analysts see the sudden growth of the Christian video game market as a clear win-win opportunity for investors. With successful, high-profile Christian-themed RTS game releases, such as Halo and Halo 2 on Microsoft's Xbox, and with expectations high for Gibson's movie-to-game gamble on The Passion, the question on analysts's minds: What Would Jesus Play?

by Todd Fox

LAS VEGAS, NV--The dramatic growth of Christian-themed games in the worldwide video game market will propel the industry to $55.6 billion in 2008, according to PricewaterhouseCoopers' recently-released "Global Entertainment and Media Outlook: 2004-2008." The Outlook notes that the fastest and largest growth will hail from the home of the video game industry--the Asia/Pacific region--where throughout the 20th century, missionaries introduced millions of nonbelievers to the teachings of Christ. "No surprise that the Christian video game market would start its rise in the East," stated industry analyst John Gage. "Christian Asians see this as a shrewd market opportunity. Who wouldn't?"

Christians on the verge of a market breakout
Christians worldwide are making their spiritual presence felt as the demographic base of video game players expands. While non-believing adult males 18 years and older still constitute the largest group with 38% of gamers, 26% of all adults playing video games were Christian in 2003.

According to Gage, "there were more Christian males playing video games worldwide than boys aged 6-17," who tallied 21% of the market. Overall, self-identified "marginally Christian" adults of both sexes constituted 64% of players, while the average age of gamers has risen to 29.

Profits and prophets
Other analysts note the success of games like Halo: Combat Evolved--a sci-fi shoot-'em-up--has not gone unnoticed by gaming and religious leaders. Halo 2 was released this week in over 6,000 stores to hordes of Christian teens, many of whom lined up all night to be the first in line when doors opened. "It was powerful to see so many families coming together; we had candles and sleeping bags and made a retreat of it" testified Marion Phelps, 35, who joined her son on his vigil outside of EB Games at the Northbridge Mall in Omaha, Nebraska. "We really got into the Spirit of it."

Hallelujahs all around for modern day profit prophet Bill Gates, Microsoft's chairman, who called it “an opening day that's greater than any motion picture has ever had in history.” And at 1.5m pre-orders and $100m in first day sales, expect Gates to continue to shout from the pulpit.

Nipping at the heels of Halo 2, Mel Gibson's The Passion, scheduled for release on PS2 this summer, expects to bring equally long lines to the malls. "If Gibson's film The Passion of the Christ has given us any indication of the robust nature of the evangelical entertainment platform," Gage estimates, "then his video game will certainly be a predictor of its market share in days to come."

Never ones to be left behind, the creators of the Left Behind Series hope to demolish the competition with their offspring Left Behind Games (LBG) and its first commercial release, Eternal Forces, a multiplayer, on-line gaming environment. According to their vision statement, "The mission of Left Behind Games is to become the world’s leading independent developer and publisher of quality interactive entertainment products that perpetuate family values and appeal to mainstream and Christian audiences, while remaining committed to increasing shareholder value."

While this real-time strategy (RTS) video game, not reaching shelves until early 2005, may well rank among the top selling high-quality strategy games of the year, LBG's corporate real-time strategy may be to pray the Rapture holds off until at least after the spring. At $44.95 for pre-order, it would otherwise certainly cut into profits.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 02:54am

Halo Christian? Isn't the whole thing about the plucky atheists (I haven't seen any evidence of human religion in Halo) defeating the misguided religious bigots?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-11-21 02:55am

I just can't see Jesus fragging L337.

OT God on the other hand...

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-11-21 02:59am

WHAT THE ALMIGHTY FUCK?

Please explain to me HOW Halo is a "Christian-themed RTS game"?!

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 03:01am

It probably boils down to "Wow, their open theme has *quoir* music, man. That's some deep shit right there."

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-11-21 03:03am

You know, I remember reading in the paper where some Church was actually having a giant "Matrix/Bible connections" with Morpheus as John the Baptist and shit... I want to know what they thought about Revolutions.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2004-11-21 03:06am

Christians, the rabider the better, like to turn EVERYTHING into a message about God.

"Honey, I just crapped out this GIANT log of shit, and MAN, it was just like the testing of Job with boils!"
"That's nice, dear, but remember... Jesus courtsey-flushed."

EDIT: But I am baffled by the labeling of Halo as an RTS, but we all know that Christians aren't known for being long on facts.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2004-11-21 03:13am

To Christians eager to get young children interested about Christianity, anything can be labeled Christian.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to say Mario was a devout christian on a holy crusade.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-11-21 03:13am

It'd be nice to see Christianity cheapened this way, until it'd go the way of pop-music and shit. Yes, that would be very nice indeed

THE DESTRUCTION OF...GOD!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-11-21 03:35am

Are you kidding? Halo is shot through with Christian themes. Genocidal crusades against entire civilizations are the bedrock upon which modern Christianity is built.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 03:43am

Yeeeeessss, but the Covenant are kinda the bad guys. Not the best pro-Christian propoganda.

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2004-11-21 03:48am

They probably needed some Christian sounded game name and Halo was the first they came across.

Afterall, Angels have Halos!

Ok, maybe not... but thats the only connection I can think of...

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 03:54am

BTW, shouldn't this be Halo: Combat Intelligently Designed?

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2004-11-21 04:06am

You guys are aware that this is bullshit? The Passion : The game was an april fools joke.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 04:08am

The 'for real' bit made me, oddly enough, think it was for real.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2004-11-21 04:15am

Pcm979 wrote:The 'for real' bit made me, oddly enough, think it was for real.

If you click the yellow button in my sig and send me $1,000 you will be blessed with supreme happiness (no, for real.)

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 04:18am

Fun. I believe that's a logical fallacy, but I can't be arsed checking for which one.

GeneralTacticus · Post by **GeneralTacticus** » 2004-11-21 04:34am

Not entirely related to the topic (regardless of whether the article is a juoke or not): I once saw a review of Halo from one of those 'A Christian perspective on blah' websites which praised it for having positive emssages about religious violence and discrimination (i..e you're supposed to kill the people who do that kind of stuff), and attempted to draw parallels between the MC and Jesus. I spent my time reading it alternately laughing at the utterly tortured logic they employed and feeling very depressed that people actually believe that kind of stuff.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2004-11-21 04:45am

Hey, I'll jump at any chance I get to throw gratuitous fecal comedy into a conversation about Christians.... 'cuz Christ and poop belong on the same level!

::crickets chirping::

... You guys suck...

::walks off stage::

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-11-21 05:03am

Don't worry. You'll get used to being invisible quickly. *Pats SPOOFE on back*

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-11-21 05:39am

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-11-21 05:53am

Spyder wrote:The Passion : The game was an april fools joke.

Damn. I was looking forward to that. Every time the fundies get to me I can scourge a virtual jesus and mock him about his lack of godhood.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2004-11-21 06:17am

Don't worry. You'll get used to being invisible quickly.

When do I go insane(r) and start taking girls' clothes off when they sleep? Or do I have to get attacked by giant sandworms first?

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-11-22 12:39am

Somebody should make a game about killing God. No, not gods vs gods, but humanity sending somebody on a mission to kill God, with some kind of weird spaceship that can cross realities or whatever.

Seggybop · Post by **Seggybop** » 2004-11-22 12:46am

Slartibartfast wrote:Somebody should make a game about killing God. No, not gods vs gods, but humanity sending somebody on a mission to kill God, with some kind of weird spaceship that can cross realities or whatever.

You need to play more Japanese RPGs.