Who else hates Chocobos?

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2005-03-07 07:42pm

Trying to beat the Chocbo mini games in FFX right now, and I am painfull reminded of why I despise chocobos. ff7 I hated breeding them fuckers, ff8 they weren't around much (YES!) ff9 you had to play hot and cold about a bazillion times (puke) and 10 you have to race the, ffx2 involves training and such too but at least you can kill the bastards too if you like (which I do gleefully).

I unofficially form the "I hate Chocobos club". No punch, no pie, just bloodlust towards a bunch of pixelated avian fuckers.

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2005-03-07 07:44pm

FFT was the only FF game I played all the way through, and I hated them there. Stupid things would vibrate and drop meteors on me, shit like that.

Death to the bird-thingies.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2005-03-07 07:44pm

Your pain may well be shared....

Post by **RogueIce** » 2005-03-07 07:57pm

Destructionator XIII wrote:<edit>I hated they way they went from 'wark' to 'kweh' in 9. I mean, like what the fuck. Are those mutants or something?!? </edit>

All that inbreeding maybe?

Thanks for that comic. hehe That was a good laugh.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-03-07 08:14pm

Chocobo Breeding in FF7 was nothing short of hell on Earth. You could spend an entire weekend trying to get those fucking things to breed right and still not get a Gold Chocobo, and that's WITH a guide. And at the end of all the subquests, after you've smacked down Ruby Weapon, THEN the game has the nerve to give a fucking Gold Chocobo as if you have any goddamned use for another one anymore. God, it makes me furious just thinking about the inanity of that particular subquest.

FF8, they weren't so bad. They were fun to run around the map on and they only served a limited purpose; you could get some pretty neat draws with them, IIRC, but nothing that you couldn't get anywhere else if you needed to.

FF9 actually had the best chocobo minigame, I think. Chocobo Hot and Cold was pretty fun, in my opinion, and while not a cakewalk it never reached the tedium of Chocobo Breeding.

FFX wasn't too bad until you got to the race. Whenever I'm driving and I see a bird swooping down in front of my car I get flashbacks to the countless hours of my life I invested in that fucking race.

FFX-2's Chocobo game I don't remember very well...either because it didn't annoy me too much or because I've simply blocked it out of my mind.

Honestly, it amazes me, all of the shit I was willing to do to "get everything" in the most recent FF games. Insanity.

FFT was the only FF game I played all the way through, and I hated them there. Stupid things would vibrate and drop meteors on me, shit like that.

Chocobos were actually kind of useful for leveling up in FFT...you'd buy 99 potions, get into a battle with one of the bastards, slaughter everything else on the field, then have 4 of your guys surround the bird and beat up on it/each other to gain EXP and tech points. You'd keep doing this till your potions ran out and rack up a few levels and several hundred TP by the end.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2005-03-07 08:20pm

Joe wrote: FF8, they weren't so bad. They were fun to run around the map on and they only served a limited purpose; you could get some pretty neat draws with them, IIRC, but nothing that you couldn't get anywhere else if you needed to.

The Pocketstation minigame was chocobo related, and had a couple of unique items. Admittedly you could ignore it most of the time, you just had to feed it batteries. (It took about 18 months to harvest three Ribbons, with the only interaction being to change the batteries when I noticed they were flat).

Plus you also got a move with a 65535 damage limit from it.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-03-07 08:29pm

I see. Obviously I never played the Pocketstation.

Pint0 Xtreme · Post by **Pint0 Xtreme** » 2005-03-07 08:43pm

If I get an ostrich and paint it yellow, can I call it a chocobo?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-03-07 08:58pm

I don't recall what Uts' opinion of the Chocobo breeding quest in FF7 was, but I don't think he had that much of a problem with it.

As for me, I love Chocobos. They're cute.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-03-07 09:09pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:I don't recall what Uts' opinion of the Chocobo breeding quest in FF7 was, but I don't think he had that much of a problem with it.

As for me, I love Chocobos. They're cute.

Of course he didn't. He stopped playing when Aerith died, right? Chocobo Breeding doesn't really kick into gear until much later in the game.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-03-07 09:11pm

No, he quit playing just outside of the final dungeon. Eventually he just got too depressed from Aeris' death.

He went through the whole thing and got Knights of the Round, and even used it to take out Diamond Weapon in one turn.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-03-07 09:18pm

Well he might as well finish it then. All he has to do is go down and cast Knights of the Round once.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2005-03-07 09:19pm

Pint0 Xtreme wrote:If I get an ostrich and paint it yellow, can I call it a chocobo? :P

No. A chocobo is what you get when you take Kai or Kui and paint it yellow. Like pretty much everything else good in the Final Fantasy series, the chocobos were shamelessly ripped off from Miyazaki.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-03-07 09:20pm

No, that was back about six years ago when he barrowed the game from someone else. Right now he's still on Disc One not yet at Junon, I think.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2005-03-07 10:07pm

I love chocoboes. Fry em up, and you got a drumstick the size of your head.(I may be a bird guy, but doesn't mean I don't like eating domesticated birds) Also, I've always wanted a bird I can ride(I'm too big for Ostrich)

EDIT: WARK!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2005-03-07 10:19pm

Vendetta wrote:Your pain may well be shared....

I love that.

and, I dont play ff. no chochobos here.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-03-07 10:22pm

This will be greater appreciated by Chocobo haters everywhere.

As for myself, I didn't have too many problems with breeding Chocobos in 7, a little frustrating but meh. Tactics I never ever used the bastards, I just went "Fuck it." and got rid of the bastard about at the beginning of the third act.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2005-03-07 11:47pm

The breeding thing got a bit annoying after a while. I just couldn't get that damned gold Chocobo!

DarkSilver · Post by **DarkSilver** » 2005-03-08 02:21am

-twitches-

I hated the Breeding Minigame in 7, trained those bastards up, bred them, and never got the Gold Chocobo

fuck them up thier overgrown avian assholes.

The last time a Chocobo was really useful was FFVI, when all they did was be ridable, be a summon monster, restore your life and mana, and store extra shit in thier stomachs

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2005-03-08 03:34am

I didn't even know about the breeding mini game in FF7 until about 2 years after i stopped playing it. Just like i got to the final battle without getting any of the mega stuff like Knights of the Round.
For some strange reason i didn't explore every area of the map and kill every single thing before going to the final battle.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-03-08 12:50pm

Opposite of a lot of people here, I like chocobos so much that when genetic engineering gets fancy enough to create new species, I want a chocobo, and I'm going to ride my giant yellow bird all over the place.

Chocobo jousting! Woohoo!

Mmm...Kentucky firaga chocobo...

Wha? Wark? Eating Moogle pompoms? That's just sick, kupo!

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2005-03-08 01:26pm

Chocobo racing was fun, as was summoning a fat chocobo to sit on your enemies.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-03-08 04:16pm

Aya wrote:Chocobo racing was fun, as was summoning a fat chocobo to sit on your enemies.

I would cast that summon late in the game just for the hope of seeing that fat bastard...

Ediktion · Post by **Ediktion** » 2005-03-08 09:53pm

Do i like chocobo's?

Bleh!

There ok when you need to get some where just THIS much faster.

But other then that... Inside me resides a deep burning flame of hatred toward those mostly seen as yellow, but not all the time because squaresoft must have thought it would be cute to give them OTHER colors birds.

Nice idea though.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-03-08 09:59pm

I didn't mind the Chocobo goodness in FF7. But after a while, breeding was immeasurably boring.

I spent a week making my golden bird. I was doing things to beak the tedium occasionally, but it's still a week.

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Who else hates Chocobos?

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Who else hates Chocobos?