well what the fuck am I supposed to do now

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Superman
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well what the fuck am I supposed to do now

Post by Superman »

Its 12:22 and I'm sitting here in the theater waiting for the movie to start. Shit. One guy next to me smells like shit and the woman on the other side is so fat, her arm rolls spill over the rest and rub on my arms. I have 30 minutes.

I demand you entertain me!
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GuppyShark
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Post by GuppyShark »

Oh man, waiting for the film to start was possibly the longest two hours of my life.

I had a Star Wars novel I was attempting to read but fitful lighting and the fact it was NJO made that a fruitless endeavour.

So you're here Wireless then, Supes?
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Spanky The Dolphin
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

I suggest you kill your offenders and use their bones to make a lovely bone suit.
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Superman
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Post by Superman »

You waited 2 hours for this? Holy crap, this 30 minutes is bad enough...

Heh the guy next to me has a 'Lamb of God' shirt on. Anyone dare me...?
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Icehawk
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Post by Icehawk »

Out of curiosity, how are you even posting on this message board while sitting in a theatre without a computer, you have internet on a cell phone or something?
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Post by Cykeisme »

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:I suggest you kill your offenders and use their bones to make a lovely bone suit.
Can't believe you'd give great advice like that away for free! :D
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GuppyShark
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Post by GuppyShark »

Superman wrote:You waited 2 hours for this? Holy crap, this 30 minutes is bad enough...

Heh the guy next to me has a 'Lamb of God' shirt on. Anyone dare me...?
No, I waited 2 hours in the cinema itself.

2 hours in the queue outside.
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Post by Jason von Evil »

GuppyShark wrote:Oh man, waiting for the film to start was possibly the longest two hours of my life.

I had a Star Wars novel I was attempting to read but fitful lighting and the fact it was NJO made that a fruitless endeavour.

So you're here Wireless then, Supes?
Pfft, six hours, wimp. :P
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Post by Butterbean569 »

I had a ton of fun waiting outside in line for the 3-4 hours I was there. The best part was these two little brothers...probably ages 5 and 4 or so. They had sabres and were going after each other hardcore. They were doing force pushes and everything lol The little one kept hitting the bigger one in the head with the sabre and making him cry...felt bad for him, getting his ass kicked by his little bro. Still it was awesome
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Re: well what the fuck am I supposed to do now

Post by Kurgan »

Superman wrote:Its 12:22 and I'm sitting here in the theater waiting for the movie to start. Shit. One guy next to me smells like shit and the woman on the other side is so fat, her arm rolls spill over the rest and rub on my arms. I have 30 minutes.

I demand you entertain me!
This will be posted too late, but using your Jedi powers of prescience which I know you have, you knew what I was going to write before it happened, and you could read it. You were meant to read it.

So here's my suggestion... when you smell the stinky guy go "Icky poo!" and then "How wude!" so he can hear you. It helps if you wear a makeshift Jar Jar mask fashioned from your popcorn bucket. Whipping off your sock to fashion a sock puppet may be a feasible alternative solution to get your message across. Proper intonation of the Jar Jar voice is key.

Then turn to the fat woman and say "I know you are powerful mighty Jabba and your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for Solo's life. As a token of my good will I present to you a gift... these two droids, both are hard working and will serve you well." For the "droids" present some mechanical trinkets of your choosing, the more inappropriate the better. I shall leave that one to your imagination and discretion.

These actions should either 1) start a fight (which should be exciting enough to tide you over until the movie begins) or 2) cause the people in question to think you are insane and flee (thus solving your problem).

If neither happens at least you'll be entertained long enough to forget you're bored waiting for the movie to start.

Outcome #1 might cause you to be thrown out of the theater for inciting a small riot/battle or possibly end up with a few bruises, etc, so it could have a downside. At least you can say you got into a fight on opening night of Star Wars. You can then use it as an excuse in court "this violent movie has warped my fragile little mind."

Preserving video evidence of the encounter may be illegal, but worthwhile. Not that I would condone such course of action, of course...



Btw, if I were the first one in line for the movie here is what I would have done: dressed in a complete Qui Gon Jinn outfit, and in front of the ticket pass through/door to the theater/wherever you go in once they let you kneel down with your eyes closed (like Qui Gon did in the movie) and then the instant they say you can go through LEAP UP full of energy and rush into the theater, brandishing your (previously hidden) plastic lightsaber.

While you might get thrown out of the theater, it would be worth it, especially if you had friends there (secret plants wandering around) to back you up if needed and to capture the event on video.
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Post by Cykeisme »

:lol:
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Superman
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Re: well what the fuck am I supposed to do now

Post by Superman »

Kurgan wrote:
Superman wrote:Its 12:22 and I'm sitting here in the theater waiting for the movie to start. Shit. One guy next to me smells like shit and the woman on the other side is so fat, her arm rolls spill over the rest and rub on my arms. I have 30 minutes.

I demand you entertain me!
This will be posted too late, but using your Jedi powers of prescience which I know you have, you knew what I was going to write before it happened, and you could read it. You were meant to read it.

So here's my suggestion... when you smell the stinky guy go "Icky poo!" and then "How wude!" so he can hear you. It helps if you wear a makeshift Jar Jar mask fashioned from your popcorn bucket. Whipping off your sock to fashion a sock puppet may be a feasible alternative solution to get your message across. Proper intonation of the Jar Jar voice is key.

Then turn to the fat woman and say "I know you are powerful mighty Jabba and your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for Solo's life. As a token of my good will I present to you a gift... these two droids, both are hard working and will serve you well." For the "droids" present some mechanical trinkets of your choosing, the more inappropriate the better. I shall leave that one to your imagination and discretion.

These actions should either 1) start a fight (which should be exciting enough to tide you over until the movie begins) or 2) cause the people in question to think you are insane and flee (thus solving your problem).

If neither happens at least you'll be entertained long enough to forget you're bored waiting for the movie to start.

Outcome #1 might cause you to be thrown out of the theater for inciting a small riot/battle or possibly end up with a few bruises, etc, so it could have a downside. At least you can say you got into a fight on opening night of Star Wars. You can then use it as an excuse in court "this violent movie has warped my fragile little mind."

Preserving video evidence of the encounter may be illegal, but worthwhile. Not that I would condone such course of action, of course...



Btw, if I were the first one in line for the movie here is what I would have done: dressed in a complete Qui Gon Jinn outfit, and in front of the ticket pass through/door to the theater/wherever you go in once they let you kneel down with your eyes closed (like Qui Gon did in the movie) and then the instant they say you can go through LEAP UP full of energy and rush into the theater, brandishing your (previously hidden) plastic lightsaber.

While you might get thrown out of the theater, it would be worth it, especially if you had friends there (secret plants wandering around) to back you up if needed and to capture the event on video.
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Admiral Valdemar
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

We had the new War of the Worlds trailer before the film and then the Narnia one too.

Did anyone see how fucking cool the WotW movie looks? I saw Strider like walkers (yes!) and kicking arse e.g. picking men up with those tentacles and throwing them around or taking on F/A-18s.

Something to look to now SW is finished.
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Post by Gandalf »

I did four hours in the line. To passthe time I heckled the folks who dressed up. I pointed out that the Vader costume wasn't done right and that the guy who dressed as Palpatine looked more like Darth Frodo.
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Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

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GuppyShark
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Post by GuppyShark »

Gandalf wrote:I did four hours in the line. To passthe time I heckled the folks who dressed up. I pointed out that the Vader costume wasn't done right and that the guy who dressed as Palpatine looked more like Darth Frodo.
Guys near me in line were doing that. Although one of them made a cautionary remark:

"We gave that guy in the red trooper armour so much shit when we were waiting to see Episode II because we thought they weren't in the movie...."

A guy I know turned up as Mario.

That was weird.
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