[Cracked] The Biggest Star Wars Plot Hole, Explained

[Battlehymn Republic]

Does this article make any sense?

The Biggest Star Wars Plot Hole, Explained By Science
By Karl Smallwood Nov 14, 2010

All throughout the Star Wars trilogy (yes, we're calling it a trilogy, and always will) the enemy Stormtroopers spend almost every battle firing wildly, missing slow-moving targets, and are generally unable to land a shot roughly in the same zipcode as the good guys. But we know they're not incompetent: We see their handiwork elsewhere in the movies -- like when our heroes stumble across a destroyed sandcrawler -- and Obi-Wan Kenobi himself even says: "These blast-points... Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." These are supposedly squads of cold, calculating, efficient murder machines, professional soldiers literally bred for the purpose.

Yet, the second you put an Alderaan Princess in front of them, you've got five Stormtroopers missing a stationary target roughly eight feet away, three firing their guns wildly into the sky, and one asshole trying to ride his blaster rifle like a pony -- and none making the shot.



Fans jokingly refer to it as "Stormtrooper aim." But it's not lazy film-making (or at least, not just that): There's actually a perfectly logical, scientific reason behind this behavior. Soldiers in real wars behave in exactly the same way.

In one war-time study, a Brigadier General found that "only 15 to 20 [percent] would take any part with their weapons." And that this was consistently true, "whether the action was spread over a day, or two days, or three." Eighty percent of the soldiers would not fire, due to nothing more than their innate desire to not take a human life. We also know that the vast majority of shots fired in battle, miss.

It's hard to aim at a man and pull the trigger. Even in firing squads, it's standard practice to give some soldiers blanks or unloaded rifles to diffuse the responsibility of killing amongst all men equally. This actually makes the soldiers more likely to pull the trigger, thinking their gun might not be loaded, as well as easing the men's consciences after the fact by letting them believe there's a chance they didn't actually kill the victim.


But we all know it was you, third from the left. You bastard.

But even supposing you buy this explanation, there's one glaring omission we've left unaccounted for: If all of these Stormtroopers are missing on purpose, why don't the good guys seem to have the slightest problem murdering a city-bus worth of dudes every time they stop for gas? Are they more accepting of the brutal realities of war? Are they more faithful in their cause? Are they just a bunch of fucking sociopaths in space vests?

Nope. It's the helmets.

That's right: If the Stormtroopers had just taken off their helmets, they would have probably won the war. Especially considering that they're an elite battalion of well-funded techno-warriors, up against a space hillbilly, a gigolo, a pampered socialite and a furry version of Sloth from the Goonies. It all comes down to the basic principle of dehumanization.


Could you pull the trigger if Darth Vader looked like this?

When you remove human qualities from a person, you make it much easier to justify acts of violence towards them. In our real life militaries, this is usually done through propaganda: Those aren't people you're shooting at, son. They're japs. They're gooks. They're Muslims. They're whatever other label the military wants to fill in, as long as it makes them different -- and therefore less -- than real people.

Now remember that very first study: With that conditioning, we've only managed to convince twenty percent of the soldiers to kill another human being. No matter how much propaganda you inundate them with, when it comes right down to it, they still have to look another member of their species in the eyes, and then kill them. But imagine how much lower that holdout number would be if every single enemy combatant was encased in head-to-toe armor that de-accentuated every human aspect of their body, each suit was completely indistinguishable from the next, and the whole effect served to make them look very much like one of the many, many lifeless robots that already occupy this fictional world.

See for yourself. Which of the following would you feel bad about shooting at?







Han, Leia, and Luke don't see a person giving his life for the empire, because he thinks it's the right thing to do, or because he was grown in a vat for it and never had a chance to choose -- they see an anonymous, faceless, evil robot. No different from the three million other identical soldiers standing next to him. And the same holds true for the Stormtroopers: In the bigger battle scenes (like Hoth), they have no problem gunning down rebel footsoldiers. Rebel footsoldiers...in uniform. All identical, all no longer "people," just enemies. Look at how deadly accurate they become when facing the uniformed soldiers in the opening scene of Episode IV:

But later our heroes come running by -- the only ones out of uniform -- and the battle-hardened Stormtroopers see a charming rogue, a pretty young girl, and a naive farmboy just trying to get the hell off the giant murder planet that's tooling around the galaxy shattering worlds. Hell, they don't want to look like a coward or nothin', so they have to take the shot -- but maybe this time (just this once) the shot goes a little wide. We all make mistakes, right? Who's gonna know?

That's right; the Stormtroopers lost because they were too human.

The theory may not be perfect, we admit, but it's a hell of a lot better than just assuming the technologically superior, elite empire gave everybody shitty guns because they thought it was funny.

Because that's the official explanation.

[Darth Fanboy]

Given the fact that very early into the first film Obi Wan demonstrates to Luke that the blaster scoring at the Jawa slaughter was so precise that it could have only been Imperial stromtroopers, and that those stormtroopers killed a lot of Jawas (not to mention at least two moisture farmers), I think we're supposed to be led into believing that Stormtroopers are just that much better than present-day Earth militaries.

Main characters in any film are surrounded by some sort of field that warps space, time, and projectiles around them so that they don't die. Why it warrants further explanation I will never know, I guess there are people out there that would think Star Wars would be a better film if the heroes had all been shot dead within five minutes of infiltrating the Death Star...

[Metahive]

And I thought the biggest plothole was the debris of the DSII not falling right on the heads of that little End of the War party on Endor.

Why it warrants further explanation I will never know, I guess there are people out there that would think Star Wars would be a better film if the heroes had all been shot dead within five minutes of infiltrating the Death Star...

Or the heroes using a bit more discretion while going about their business. Hey, it works for Solid Snake, it might work for a whiny little farmboy and a second-rate smuggler.

[Darth Fanboy]

Or the heroes using a bit more discretion while going about their business. Hey, it works for Solid Snake, it might work for a whiny little farmboy and a second-rate smuggler.

And then the Empire would not have known to go to Yavin IV now would they? Obi Wan's stealthiness was good and out of that group he's the only one who i'd expect to be any good at it.

[Metahive]

The guy who snuck into a CIS base using the loudest, noisiest, brightest and all around least subtle ride to get in, that Obi Wan?

I have concluded that the true running theme of the SW PT is indeed "obliviousness". People fail to pay attention and that's what gets them every single time. A metaphor for todays uncaring society? A play on "Evil triumphs when good people don't have a clue"? Clever bloke, that Lucas!

[Darth Fanboy]

The guy who snuck into a CIS base using the loudest, noisiest, brightest and all around least subtle ride to get in, that Obi Wan?

I have concluded that the true running theme of the SW PT is indeed "obliviousness". People fail to pay attention and that's what gets them every single time. A metaphor for todays uncaring society? A play on "Evil triumphs when good people don't have a clue"? Clever bloke, that Lucas!

So we're talking about Stormtroopers/Character Shields and you decide to go on a dumbass rant about the prequel era?

[Metahive]

You were the one bringing up Obi Wan as the great stealthmaster, so I showed what exactly Obi Wan understood under stealth. I guess he still curses the day he couldn't find any Chocobos with him to ride through the bowels of the Death Star. Picture the glory of a great yellow bird ripping out that asthmatic cyborg's guts with its ginormous claws!

And holy Jesus mother of fuck, wasn't it obvious enough I was joking!? Sheesh, you can let go of your pearls now.

[Darth Fanboy]

You were the one bringing up Obi Wan as the great stealthmaster, so I showed what exactly Obi Wan understood under stealth. I guess he still curses the day he couldn't find any Chocobos with him to ride through the bowels of the Death Star. Picture the glory of a great yellow bird ripping out that asthmatic cyborg's guts with its ginormous claws!

And holy Jesus mother of fuck, wasn't it obvious enough I was joking!? Sheesh, you can let go of your pearls now.

Given my impressions of you in other threads, i'm sorry to say that I find it perfectly reasonable you'd just start ranting about something else stupidy instead of "just joking" or discussing the thread topic. I think it's an honest mistake a lot of people would make.

[Metahive]

Given my impressions of you in other threads, i'm sorry to say that I find it perfectly reasonable you'd just start ranting about something else stupidy instead of "just joking" or discussing the thread topic. I think it's an honest mistake a lot of people would make.

It's no use, I can still see the eggs on your face, fanboy. I frankly don't really give much of a shit what you think what mistakes honest people would make, you yourself haven't impressed me all that positively either so far.

[Anguirus]

That article is totally stupid, despite the fact that it might have a few actual facts in it.

The real actual plot of Star Wars involves Darth Vader and Governor Tarkin intentionally allowing several Rebels to escape from the Death Star in order to find the Rebels' hidden base, which was their primary goal.

Sure, it's always pretty hard to hit main characters in movies, and we accept this, but the only failures of accuracy that are truly bewildering (missing Luke and Leia from about a meter away when they scramble to close the door) occur in ANH. (Including Greedo's insane ability to miss in the Special Edition.)

[Crown]

That article is totally stupid, despite the fact that it might have a few actual facts in it.

The real actual plot of Star Wars involves Darth Vader and Governor Tarkin intentionally allowing several Rebels to escape from the Death Star in order to find the Rebels' hidden base, which was their primary goal.

Sure, it's always pretty hard to hit main characters in movies, and we accept this, but the only failures of accuracy that are truly bewildering (missing Luke and Leia from about a meter away when they scramble to close the door) occur in ANH. (Including Greedo's insane ability to miss in the Special Edition.)

He spoke about the trilogy, so sure, you're point is very valid and true for ANH, but for TESB and RotJ?

[Srelex]

Well, it's Cracked, whaddya expect. Is it even supposed to be serious?

[Ryushikaze]

The theory may not be perfect, we admit, but it's a hell of a lot better than just assuming the technologically superior, elite empire gave everybody shitty guns because they thought it was funny.

Because that's the official explanation.

The WEG Weapons sourcebook definitely doesn't count as 'the official explanation,' and even it says 'oh there was a defective batch, swap out a part, these weapons are spiffy'

Cracked has a good point about Dehumanization in war, but it tried to make some funnies, and it sort of wound up at cross purposes.

[Anguirus]

That article is totally stupid, despite the fact that it might have a few actual facts in it.

The real actual plot of Star Wars involves Darth Vader and Governor Tarkin intentionally allowing several Rebels to escape from the Death Star in order to find the Rebels' hidden base, which was their primary goal.

Sure, it's always pretty hard to hit main characters in movies, and we accept this, but the only failures of accuracy that are truly bewildering (missing Luke and Leia from about a meter away when they scramble to close the door) occur in ANH. (Including Greedo's insane ability to miss in the Special Edition.)

He spoke about the trilogy, so sure, you're point is very valid and true for ANH, but for TESB and RotJ?

It's usually assumed that if you quote a post, you read it first. I implicitly addressed the other two movies in my last paragraph; indeed, that's the only reason for that paragraph to exist.

Yes, the stormtroopers don't hit anyone in ESB, but there isn't a scene when they are firing from a ludicrously short distance with no obstacles in the way and still missing. (R2 fog attack go!) That happens twice (vs. Luke and Leia at the bridge, and vs. Han and Chewie when they are running away) in ANH. Now think about the real actual plot of ANH.

As for RotJ, the only time stormtroopers are fought is in a pitched battle, and they still shoot Leia.

[FaxModem1]

I now have this mental image of Alec Guinness riding a Chocobo through the Death Star while wielding a lightsaber laughing merrily.

Course, due to the article, I now also have this image in my head for the Stormtroopers:

Stormtrooper 1:"Why didn't you hit the farmboy? He was an easy shot."
Stormtrooper 2:"I tried, but I couldn't do it. I grew up on Dantooine, I know what its like to be a farmer. It'd be like shooting one of my own kids."
Stormtrooper 1:"Yeah, how are Billy and-"
(Chewie and Han run by, shooting them both.)

[Baffalo]

Don't forget that the Empire pushes a human-first philosophy on everyone. Stormtroopers seem to act like military police and soldiers, often patrolling cities where the Empire wishes to make their presence known. They'll stop and deal with non-humans, but I imagine that if you're told your species is better, more intelligent, etc for most of your life and have that point drilled home time and again through propaganda, it's something you seriously take into consideration.

Jawas on Tattooine no doubt seemed like these annoying little things that just go around chittering and swiping any piece of technology not nailed down to try and sell back to you whenever they can. It's easy to feel superior, and since they all look alike, it probably didn't take much to get the soldiers to shoot them all. And telling them to shoot the humans, while it would no doubt give a few of them pause, seeing some of your comrades killed would no doubt encourage many to gun them down faster.

It's a good thing Leia didn't run around for most of the movies in her metal bikini, or the troopers might not have been able to get a shot off, too busy imagining shooting her with a different type of gun if you know what I mean.

[Elfdart]

That article is totally stupid, despite the fact that it might have a few actual facts in it.

The real actual plot of Star Wars involves Darth Vader and Governor Tarkin intentionally allowing several Rebels to escape from the Death Star in order to find the Rebels' hidden base, which was their primary goal.

Sure, it's always pretty hard to hit main characters in movies, and we accept this, but the only failures of accuracy that are truly bewildering (missing Luke and Leia from about a meter away when they scramble to close the door) occur in ANH. (Including Greedo's insane ability to miss in the Special Edition.)

He spoke about the trilogy, so sure, you're point is very valid and true for ANH, but for TESB and RotJ?

In TESB and ROTJ Vader makes it clear he wants his men to bring in Han, Leia and Chewie alive, which is somewhat difficult if you shoot them, as opposed to sneaking up and getting the drop on them (TESB) or using suppressive fire until you can get the drop on them (ROTJ).

[Spoonist]

As a spoilsport I'll just point out that the basis for his conclusions are false. The US officer who wrote that book lied. There was a factor in the WW1 that the common men didn't want to be in the war and didn't want to kill the other side also consisting of common men. But this has not been repeated in almost any conflict before or since.
So the whole premise is flawed.

[Darth Fanboy]

It's no use, I can still see the eggs on your face, fanboy. I frankly don't really give much of a shit what you think what mistakes honest people would make, you yourself haven't impressed me all that positively either so far.

Wow, I almost forgot about this thread and going back through some of the new posts I came across this gem from Metahive, a guy who makes up for his ignorance with his arrogance.

Fact is that you said something stupid and then two posts later "Oh god I was joking I swear". I've seen six year olds try that shit more convincingly than you.

[Metahive]

Well, I hope it was worth it to return after a week just to flame me some more. You sure have your priorities in order, fanboy.

I wash my hands of this.

[Ritterin Sophia]

As a spoilsport I'll just point out that the basis for his conclusions are false. The US officer who wrote that book lied. There was a factor in the WW1 that the common men didn't want to be in the war and didn't want to kill the other side also consisting of common men. But this has not been repeated in almost any conflict before or since.
So the whole premise is flawed.

That's not lying. That's where the outgrowth of dehumanizing the enemy comes from, be it actively painting them as monsters or simply referring to them as targets or what have you.

[keen320]

This still doesn't explain this:



Now I suppose the stormtroopers might not be able to shoot furry teddy bears, but still... They don't look too human, and the Stormtroopers with armor support abysmally lost for about 10 minutes before finally starting to turn the tide against them... until Han pulled the rug out from under them and the Imperials were surrounded. I mean, really, the Jawas should have better weapons!

[Ritterin Sophia]

You mean in the fight where Chewie commandeers a vehicle? You know the event that both the Novelization and George Lucas both state was the turning point, where previously according to the novelization the Ewoks were dying in droves that could not be shown on the kid friendly RotJ?