How would you like to see Jar Jar die in episode III?

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Rathark
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Post by Rathark »

You guys are completely missing the point. Jar Jar does not have to die. He does not ever, ever have to die. At least, not for centuries and centuries after the Ewok party in ROTJ.

You see, all that has to happen is for Anakin to finally do his lolly and push Jar Jar - screaming and gibbering - into the gaping maw of the Sarlaac.
Last edited by Rathark on 2005-07-12 02:08am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Anakin's training with his lightsaber, Jar Jar bugs him, and Anakin slices him up in the most gruesome allowed in a PG movie.
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Post by Next of Kin »

I thought about sending Jar Jar to the Borg, but they'd just ignore him rather than kill him.
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Post by 0.1 »

Minority opinion here, Jar Jar should NOT die. Instead, he is made court jester of Palpatine. As reward for helping the rise of the Empire.
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Post by Talon Karrde »

0.1 wrote:Minority opinion here, Jar Jar should NOT die. Instead, he is made court jester of Palpatine. As reward for helping the rise of the Empire.
NO!!! HE MUST DIE!!!!! He would only torture us further!!
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Post by Evil Sadistic Bastard »

HYPOTHESIS:

jar Jar should be launched into another galaxy.

RATIONALE:

Well, he's no longer our problem, is he?

METHODOLOGY:

We should launch Jar Jar into Fed space, through the wormhole, then forevermore ban wormhole research.

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES:

1) Jar Jar's sheer lameness and inanity would cause the Feds to have a simultaneous brain hemorrhage, all of them, even the Borg. (I see many stained pants in ST's future)

Likelihood: Low to None. Most feddies have developed tolerance to stupidity and idiocy, though it is likely that this new strain of dumbness might actually manage to devolve them one step lower... into unicellular creatures. Plus the feddies have Barney. (Eeeew.)

2) Federation technobabble penetrates even the quantum skull (ref. quantum armor) of Jar Jar, causing HIM to die, convulsing spasmodically in a brain hemorrhage of his own.

Likelihood: High - Federation technobabble shows a high efficiency in deceiving, inveigling and obfuscating - thus it is likely that Jar Jar will die from massive skull trauma caused by his walnut of a brain violently exiting through his forehead. He will not die from losing his brain, seeing how little he actually uses it. (If he did, he would realize what an event-ruiner he really is, and go take a walk in traffic)

3) The two moronicities(?) merge to form a united, spasticated being capable of inducing berserker frenzies just by posting on the SD.net boards, using unlogic (Data says Enterprise produces X amount of power; therefore Wong is a poopy head, all ships have phase cloaks and Sw will be destroyed by one runabout), AND speaking in an irritating Jamaican accent, all at the same time

Likelihood: Extreme. Like calls to like. The possible fuckwad formed coould eliminate all forms of reasoning and intelligent thought in a flurry of technobabble, armored in the mentality " I didn't hear your rebuttal therefore you admit defeat " .

CONCLUSION:

Jar Jar should be disposed of by other means, e.g. by being crucified upside down into a vat of boiling wax and undergoing simultaneous vivisection minus anaesthetic.
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Post by Lord_Vader »

Hahaha. I will just be glad when that annoying character finally dies in some fashion. If only in Ep1 Darth Maul had used that cool dual lightsaber on him...
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Post by Corran Horn »

Mr. B wrote:The very first Star Destroyer shooting him with all it's 200GT glory.
SWEET so SWEET mr.B

that is the best thing anyone has come up with.

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Post by CNS Sarajevo »

Darth Jar Jar challenges Anakin to be Palpatine's REAL apprentice. Anakin flies into one of his rages and there's nothing left but pink dust.
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Post by Crown »

Eaten by Chewie, since he is responsible for creating the Empire which imprisons his people.:mrgreen:
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Post by Next of Kin »

You're assuming that Chewie would find Jar Jar to be edible when in fact, Jar Jar burgers would taste absolutly revolting and slimey.
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Post by Jadeite »

I kinda hope hes in the Naboo Palace, followed by it getting bombarded by an ISD for harboring jedi :twisted: Annoying character, the race that created him, and that stupid planet, gone in flames.
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Post by Next of Kin »

As much as we wish to see Jar Jar die a horrible death I can't shake this feeling that he might make it through. Does anyone have any inside information with regards to Jar Jar Binks and Episode 3? Perhaps before the movie starts we should take bets on-line to see if he dies or not.
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Post by irishmick79 »

Anakin puts Jar Jar in charge of maintenance on his Jedi Starfighter.

"Hi there...Mesa Jar ja..." VWOOOP. Gungan gets sucked into Starfighter engine intake and turned into gungan goo. The tragedy sends Anakin flying into a rage, he kills an unfortunate deck officer, and turns to the Dark Side. The End.
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Post by jegs2 »

The best thing that could become of the annyoing pest is that he goes on a long trip and is never again heard from. It fits, since we see no shadow of the idiot in Episode IV.

So that we don't have to see the thing again, one of the less irritating characters could simply mention it in passing.
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Re: How would you like to see Jar Jar die in episode III?

Post by Nobody »

Eleas wrote:I want Yoda to kill him. I can see it before my eyes.

The rubbery form of a Gungan senator ambled into the room and, upon seeing its resident, stopped.
"Master Yoda! Meesa Senator Jar-Jar Binks! Hee-lo! Meesa muy muy happy seein yousa!"
"Hmmm. Jar-Jar. Remember I do." Yoda raised his head to regard him. The ancient eyes were piercing. "Creature of the Dark Side, you are."
"The darken side, mesa?"
The wizened Jedi Master nodded grimly. "Yes. Kill you I must."
"Mesa, dady Yoda?" Jar-Jar found himelf backing off uncertainly. "But... but... meesa luv all Jedi! Meesa luv you too!"
Hobbling closer to the stricken Gungan, Yoda's lips thinned in determination.
"For that, painful your death will be."
"Ye gads!" wailed the pathetic one. "Mesa gonna die!"
"Pushed me too far, you have," Yoda intoned in a low, ominous voice. His gnarled hands crackled with Force Lightning. The Gungan, turning to run, didn't see the bundle of corrupted energy that lashed toward him. But he felt it. He fell to the ground screaming like only a Gungan could, and he didn't stop screaming for a long time.
Eventually, the tortured shrieks of the creature ceased. Stepping out of the compact, billowing smoke, Master Yoda let the last vestigues of the Force Lightning recede.
"Sith am I become. Now, wicked robes I must find."

NOOOOO!!! Yoda has to bounce around, doing his "Deranged Kung-Fu Muppet on Crack" style of Lightsaber fighting on him!!
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Post by Mr Bean »

Heh
Ok lets start pulling Odds on this I'll post a seperate one

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Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

Corran Horn wrote:
Mr. B wrote:The very first Star Destroyer shooting him with all it's 200GT glory.
SWEET so SWEET mr.B

that is the best thing anyone has come up with.

U ROCK :twisted: :twisted:


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Post by Master of Ossus »

In Star Trek, they had the impossibly complex set of equations that were unsolvable, and they were going to give that to the Borg to destroy the entire Collective.

I propose a similar death for Jar Jar.

He should be turned over to the Yuuzhan Vong and allowed to annoy them all until they either killed him in one of their really painful ways, or he forced them all to commit suicide. In this manner, his death could service the Galaxy that his life has so horribly stained.
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Post by Mr Bean »

The most popluar seems to be the first BDZ is preformed on Naboo and Jar-Jar gets hit by the very last shot :D

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Post by Master of Ossus »

Mr Bean wrote:The most popluar seems to be the first BDZ is preformed on Naboo and Jar-Jar gets hit by the very last shot :D
This contest is over, give that Gungan the ten thousand dollars. HTL in the groin! HTL in the groin!
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Post by Vertigo1 »

As funny as alot of the responses here are, I propose that he die in the following method:

Vong scouts capture him and turn him into a slave. When the outer modifications are applied to "keep him in line", he dis-obeys one time and gets bitten by the scout's ampistaff and dies a horrible painful death from the venom that he is so allergic to. :D
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