I seem to have missed something...

PSW: discuss Star Wars without "versus" arguments.

Moderator: Vympel

User avatar
Crown
NARF
Posts: 10615
Joined: 2002-07-11 11:45am
Location: In Transit ...

Post by Crown »

KJA is the perfect example why writers must admit themselves to an intelligence test before being able to write a Star Wars novel. To summerise a KJA novel (be it a stand alone or a trilogy) see below;

Okay start your story.

Introduce some new character that is some way a major threat to the entire galaxy. Make it either be more powerful than Luke Skywalker, or more devious that the Emperor himself.

Then waste a good portion of the story with shitty 'ooh' and 'uhh' scenes where you may display some non-cannon uses of the force.

Now slowly build up this character so that he is unstopable, undefeatable and generally too good to be bested.

Kill/disable a cannnon character to demostrate this.

Oh, and if you haven't already make up some new SUPER WEAPON that is naturally more of a threat than the DS. I mean after all you have to 'improve' on the movies right?

Now make this superweapon seem unbeatable, etc. See new character introduction for more.

Make any minor cannon characters play in un-familiar ways, and the original of course are so 'fixed' to the movies that it doesn't matter if they happen to be the CoS of the goddamn Republic, they still go out with their blasters and try and takle the baddies themselves.

Now you realise that you are approaching your word limit.

Cheat the ending, make it something so simple that the reader would want to pull their hair out in fustration, when they realise that the whole story could have been finished in 20 pages.

Ohh and for good measure fuck with other writer's characters if the chance presents its self. I mean surely you could do a better job right?
Image
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
User avatar
KhyronTheBackstabber
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1673
Joined: 2002-09-06 03:52am
Location: your Mama's house

Post by KhyronTheBackstabber »

Wow Crown, you just decribed how the writers of Trek come up with their plots. I wounder if KJA, and B&B went to the same school.
Image
MM's Zentraedi Warlord/CF's Original Predacon/JL's Mad Titan
User avatar
Kuja
The Dark Messenger
Posts: 19322
Joined: 2002-07-11 12:05am
Location: AZ

Post by Kuja »

Crown, you forgot the necessary and unavoidable Kyp Durron sub-saga.
Image
JADAFETWA
User avatar
Ghost Rider
Spirit of Vengeance
Posts: 27779
Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars

Post by Ghost Rider »

Nice one Crown.

Oh god please no more Kyp...I swear when will they kill off that KJA masturbatory fantasy.

I mean he's exactly Crown whole inrtoduce a new character make him god...then etc.
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!

Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all

Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
User avatar
Cal Wright
American Warlord
Posts: 3995
Joined: 2002-07-07 03:24am
Location: Super-Class Star Destroyer 'Blight'
Contact:

Post by Cal Wright »

LoL. this came to me on the OT forum when Verilon asked about worst authors. It took me a second because I was going to say Barbara Hambly. However, even as shitty and boring as her two books were, think about it. After Children of the Jedi, came Darksabre. Now Hambly actually had a setup going and the story actually rolled, but KJA got in there and fell flat on his face. LoL. Marathon Man falling flat on his face. LoL.

Were you born with out a sense of humor or did you lose it in a tragic whoppy cushion accident? -Stormbringer

"We are well and truly forked." -Mace Windu Shatterpoint

"Either way KJA is now Dune's problem. Why can't he stop tormenting me and start writting fucking Star Trek books." -Lord Pounder

The Dark Guard Fleet

Post 1500 acheived on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 2:48 am
User avatar
Crayz9000
Sith Apprentice
Posts: 7329
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:39pm
Location: Improbably superpositioned
Contact:

Post by Crayz9000 »

Vympel wrote:The "Jedi Academy" Trilogy was his first foray IIRC. He also wrote Darksaber. That's all I know. That's all I WANT to know.
He also wrote the Young Jedi Knights series with his wife. I'm not sure if this was due to her influence, but the character development in that series was at least more believable than the original Jedi Academy series. However, the plots were usually more of the same, boring, insignificant-in-size-but-damned-big-threat-to-the-New Republic plots.
A Tribute to Stupidity: The Robert Scott Anderson Archive (currently offline)
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
User avatar
Crown
NARF
Posts: 10615
Joined: 2002-07-11 11:45am
Location: In Transit ...

Post by Crown »

Why thank you guys! *blushes*

verilon did you get all that? After all it was written for your benefit!
Image
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
User avatar
Crown
NARF
Posts: 10615
Joined: 2002-07-11 11:45am
Location: In Transit ...

Post by Crown »

Crayz9000 wrote:insignificant-in-size-but-damned-big-threat-to-the-New Republic plots
You should really trade mark that one! It was perfect!
Image
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
Post Reply