StarDestroyer.Net BBS

The new article, Checklist: 10 Star Wars superweapons includes, as the name suggests, some information on the various superweapons which have appeared in the franchise (written by Pablo Hidalgo...). A few interesting things on the Death Star:

Continuity Headache: Aside from its timeline-twisting origins, there's the not-so-little issue of the Death Star's diameter, which has changed over the years depending on what source you read. The latest measurements are 160 kilometers, though older books peg it at 120 klicks.

The section on DSII does not include a discussion on its size, but Pablo refers to the Complete Locations book for more information.

This is the kind of stuff I'd like sw.com to do more of - irreverent funny stuff that's a handy little reference - not "what's the story" crap where every two-bit extra in every film is given a name and an extensive backstory. Why can't they do one where it's just "this is some guy. He has never done anything of consequence, and nobody cares about him, or ever will."

I love their denouncement of the idiotic Shawken Universe Destroyer:

Pablo wrote:Achilles Heel: In the original story, the Shawkenese describe the nihilist's weapon as causing planetary cores to travel at sublight speeds. Now assuming he didn't misspeak (intending to say supralight speeds), then it would take millions of billions of trillions of years to destroy all the planets. Don't lose any sleep over this.

Emphasis mine. :P

This is the kind of stuff I'd like sw.com to do more of - irreverent funny stuff that's a handy little reference - not "what's the story" crap where every two-bit extra in every film is given a name and an extensive backstory.

Amen to that. Reading about the flaws of the Sun Crusher - "you can forget where you parked it" - is a lot more fun that reading barely-fanfic level nonsense about extras that, whoops, turn out to be galactic heroes with a dark past.

Vympel wrote:This is the kind of stuff I'd like sw.com to do more of - irreverent funny stuff that's a handy little reference - not "what's the story" crap where every two-bit extra in every film is given a name and an extensive backstory. Why can't they do one where it's just "this is some guy. He has never done anything of consequence, and nobody cares about him, or ever will."

The Star Wars Homing Beacon e-mailed newsletter gave me some hope for seeing things move in that direction. Take a look at what it says about some of the 100 most popular databank entries:

98. E-wing starfighter. An overpowered fighter craft rolled out in
the pages of the Dark Empire graphic novel, the E-wing is the sole
expanded universe starship to make the top 100.

95. Banking Clan communications frigate. Banks in our universe spend a lot trying to convince us that they care. In Star Wars, they can
bombard your planet from orbit.

94. Admiral Ackbar. All together now: "It's a trap!"

63. Pash Cracken. Pash Cracken? Really? Okay, yeah, he's been in a couple of books, and underwent that whole P.O.W-thing in the New Jedi Order, but does he really warrant being on here? Really? Who thinks
about Pash Cracken?

57. Aarrba the Hutt. On second thought, we take back everything we said about Pash Cracken.

Looks like a HAB military surplus outlet.

I liked this line:

Another headache: if you had to throw a dinner party and invite everyone who had ever stolen the Death Star plans, you'd be surprised at how many place settings you'd have to worry about.

I was just going to quote that as well. So damn true.

8. Darksaber wrote:Achilles Heel: It's all heel. The darn thing doesn't work.

The same can be said of Kevin J. Anderson's novel.

That article was great! Best part was probably that bit about the Darksaber quoted above.

I think I'm going to start calling the Death Star the 'Orb-bliterator' from now on.

RogueIce wrote:I liked this line:

Another headache: if you had to throw a dinner party and invite everyone who had ever stolen the Death Star plans, you'd be surprised at how many place settings you'd have to worry about.

So what have the continuity people been doing since '87, if this is such a well know joke around the office?

Oh, that's right. Telling fans they don't know better than starwars.com

What do you mean?

Illuminatus Primus wrote:What do you mean?

You know, the whole Executor size thing, and threads about it closing for being spam, threads about Jania's age or height being closed there, and the general attitude toward fans that "take this too seriously".

Basically they don't want egg on face when they screw up or (more likely) they just let authors do whatever or fudge it knowing they can brush it off later. They're really in the business of selling merchandise; they'll only maintain quality and consistency only insofar that it serves that end. So their quality control is how much the average TFN merch-addict drone will take before not buying something. Grim, I know.

You mean you guys actually believed they had 100% absolute control on continuity and no inconsistencies and errors ever cropped up? The SHOCK!

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I think I'm going to start calling the Death Star the 'Orb-bliterator' from now on.

I personally prefer the "Giant Death Ball" or "Deathticle".

I still don't see why the EU literature can't be treated like real-life news reporting. That solves most of your continuity problems right there, since it's always possible that they're being fed misinformation, or sensationalizing, or coming up with bullshit conspiracy theories, etc. Yet, at the same time, it doesn't mean they can be totally ignored.

Considerably Less Effective Names: Stellar Sweatshop; Wonder Works; Doom Depot.

I have no idea why, but the Star Forge being called the "Doom Depot" had me laughing far more than it should.

Continuity Headaches: Just one quibble: Wedge Antilles is Corellian and grew up in the Corellian system, which is home to this bizarre space station that is 350 kilometers in diameter. So why is he the guy who exclaims "look at the size of that thing" when the comparatively small Death Star comes into view?

The same could be said about Han's "it's too big to be a space station" line.

Galvatron wrote:

Continuity Headaches: Just one quibble: Wedge Antilles is Corellian and grew up in the Corellian system, which is home to this bizarre space station that is 350 kilometers in diameter. So why is he the guy who exclaims "look at the size of that thing" when the comparatively small Death Star comes into view?

The same could be said about Han's "it's too big to be a space station" line.

To be fair, Centerpoint Station predates all of Corellian history and is viewed like a naturally occurring body or moon by the people of the system. I imagine that to Corellians, "Its not a space station, its just Centerpoint." The orb-bliterator is a NEW construct, which is very different for them.

Lord Relvenous wrote:

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I think I'm going to start calling the Death Star the 'Orb-bliterator' from now on.

I personally prefer the "Giant Hurt Ball" or "Deathticle".

Fixed for you, though I prefer The Sphere O' Fear.

"They were nihilists. I mean, say what you will about the tenets of the Galactic Empire, at least it's an ethos." made me crack up completely.

CaptainChewbacca wrote:

Galvatron wrote:

Continuity Headaches: Just one quibble: Wedge Antilles is Corellian and grew up in the Corellian system, which is home to this bizarre space station that is 350 kilometers in diameter. So why is he the guy who exclaims "look at the size of that thing" when the comparatively small Death Star comes into view?

The same could be said about Han's "it's too big to be a space station" line.

To be fair, Centerpoint Station predates all of Corellian history and is viewed like a naturally occurring body or moon by the people of the system. I imagine that to Corellians, "Its not a space station, its just Centerpoint." The orb-bliterator is a NEW construct, which is very different for them.

Its also immobile, not hyperspace capable. To them hyperspace capability is probably how we view treaded/wheeled/sailing craft. Sublight maneuver is no big deal: even static space stations need drives to correct orbit and change orbit.

It always bugs me that it's called a "space station" just because it's so big. No matter how big something is, if it can fly around the galaxy, it's obviously not a space station.