What if the Force was a hoax, and you had to expose it?
Posted: 2008-12-28 10:46pm
Here is the scenario.
Old Mr. Palpetine kept a daily holocron diary in his imperial sock drawer.
After his untimely death, the Holocron was improperly disposed of by a badly programmed imperial sock replentishment droid. Instead of destoying the holocron in an incinorator, the droid hurried and dropped the holocron down the imperial "throne". The holocron made its way to the corescant sewers, were it was found by an insane homeless gungan, who subsequently sold it to "buy me sa some smack!"
The buyer was Dijkstra the Hutt, who spent a year in secret decrypting it by unknown means.
Finding the results too hot to handle, he ported the data, as well the the hash keys to verify it, into a probe droid, and aimed it an outpost of old clone troopers on the edge of nowhere. Realizing he was a dead hutt anyway, he ceremonially ate himself to death.
The holocron diary, was a daily record of a conman, who came from a long line of conmen.
Apparently "the force" is a big hoax.
For example, what if:
Their Assets:
Can you explain the methods the Jedi and Sith used to tricked the galaxy and keep their secrets?
And what can the Clones do to fix it?
Old Mr. Palpetine kept a daily holocron diary in his imperial sock drawer.
After his untimely death, the Holocron was improperly disposed of by a badly programmed imperial sock replentishment droid. Instead of destoying the holocron in an incinorator, the droid hurried and dropped the holocron down the imperial "throne". The holocron made its way to the corescant sewers, were it was found by an insane homeless gungan, who subsequently sold it to "buy me sa some smack!"
The buyer was Dijkstra the Hutt, who spent a year in secret decrypting it by unknown means.
Finding the results too hot to handle, he ported the data, as well the the hash keys to verify it, into a probe droid, and aimed it an outpost of old clone troopers on the edge of nowhere. Realizing he was a dead hutt anyway, he ceremonially ate himself to death.
The holocron diary, was a daily record of a conman, who came from a long line of conmen.
Apparently "the force" is a big hoax.
For example, what if:
- 1. Kwi-gon opened those doors on Naboo, not with the force, but by interfacing with them via an implant, or discrete computer.
- 2. What if force lightning is just a big happy Tazer?
- 3. Force Choke is from an inflamatory poison, dosed discretely, possibly off camera.
- 4. Force ghosts are holograms, or if only Jedi can "see" them, outright lies.
- 5. Palpetine threw the senate at yoda, because as chancellor, he had the most recent access to the repulsor lift codes.
- 6. What if ALL Jedi Sith battles were staged?
- 7. That whole "lost the will to live" crap? A trojan in place in case a medical droid ever detects the "Force Choke" Toxin. (Sith were always the funny ones.)
- 8. Midichlorians is just a venerial disease that Jedi and Sith share among "Apprentices".
Their Assets:
- 1. They are really, really good at misdirection, and swords.
- 2. Discrete Cybernetic implants, maybe nanotech.
- 3. They are not above murder,torture, brainwashing, and genocide to keep the secret.
- 4. THOUSANDS of years of influence.
- 5. They may use every Jedi Character in EU that survived, and new Jedi including all the powerful people and equipment these Jedi or Sith can manipulate.
- 6. The senate (they control) has been restored, and now the Crazy sewer dwelling gungan is in the public eye. He is going to let something slip about selling a Holocron to a Hutt in 14aby. They will know someone was on to something when they search the Hutts tomb.
- 1. Order 66 killed most, but not all of them off. After all, they may ONLY use every Jedi Character in EU that survived, and new Jedi .
- 2. They do not know that Darth Sideous had an OCD complulsion to document everything.
- 3. Jedi and Sith do not get along. They will stop fighting each other only momentary to kill one of you.
- 1. Prevent the remaining Jedi/Sith, and their misguided loyalists from killing you to keep the secret.
- 2. You must Keep the secrets yourselves because knowledge of the backdoors could destabilize the galaxy.
- 3. Somehow fix the software backdoors, a huge engineering task. Y2K on hypermatter steroids.
- 4. Gather evidence to expose and prosecute the force hoaxers.
- 5. Catalog the force hoaxers crimes. (Such as child endangerment, and anything else that happens to the younglings)
- 1. One old Republic warship (take your pick), with an all clone crew.
- 2. A perfect loyalty to the rule of law. Palpetines secrecy prevented the Jedi from tinkering with your genes, but the Jedi audits prevented Palpatine from making them loyal anything but the rule of law. Later Clones were probably made only loyal to Palpatine. You don't even think of abusing this power for personal gain.
- 3. Jedi hacks Palpetine knew about, will not work easily on imperial software. (Though Sith will). Uh oh, your ship is republic!
- 4. ALL of Palpatines secrets. Such as where the WMDs are, the cloning pits, the launch codes, the lightsabers, the women, and the money.
- 1. You cannot trust droids. All droid software is suspect. (This could explain why ol'palp had an army of clones, instead of fighting droids with other droids.)
- 2. You have maybe a decade at best before the new Jedi, or Sith find out about you. However, you are old clones.
- 3. You can try to kill Skywalker, but what about all the other Jedi that "miraculously" survived the sixties?
- 4. Not many new republic citizens trust clones anymore.
Can you explain the methods the Jedi and Sith used to tricked the galaxy and keep their secrets?
And what can the Clones do to fix it?