Havok wrote:Idiot wrote:"R2-D2
Sure, he's cute, but the flaws in his design are obvious the first time he approaches anything but the shallowest of stairs. Also: He has jets, a periscope, a taser and oil canisters to make enforcer droids fall about in slapsticky fashion -- and no voice synthesizer. Imagine that design conversation: "Yes, we can afford slapstick oil and tasers, but we'll never get a 30-cent voice chip past accounting. That's just madness.""
It is neat how you contradict yourself immediately there. Also, I don't seem to remember anyone having a problem understanding R2, or any astromech droid for that matter.
"C-3PO
Can't fully extend his arms; has a bunch of exposed wiring in his abs; walks and runs as if he has the droid equivalent of arthritis. And you say, well, he was put together by an eight-year-old. Yes, but a trip to the nearest Radio Shack would fix that. Also, I'm still waiting to hear the rationale for making a protocol droid a shrieking coward, aside from George Lucas rummaging through a box of offensive stereotypes (which he'd later return to while building Jar-Jar Binks) and picking out the "mincing gay man" module."
Oh the GL is a racist argument. It is funny that I actually had to have the sterotypes in question actually pointed out to even notice them. Guess that is some insight into how your mind works. And since you haven't actually watched the movies, which is obvious, all the protocol droids we see of 3PO's make move in the same manner, including one that works as a bounty hunter. So it clearly is a purposeful design and not the doings of an 8 year old.
"Lightsabers
Yes, I know, I want one too. But I tell you what: I want one with a hand guard. Otherwise every lightsaber battle would consist of sabers clashing and then their owners sliding as quickly as possible down the shaft to lop off their opponent's fingers. You say: Lightsabers can slice through anything but another lightsaber, so what are you going to make a hand guard out of? I say: Dude, if you have the technology to make a lightsaber, you have the technology to make a light hand guard"
Wow, in a blog rant about tech design FAIL, you suggest a hand guard made... out of a lightsaber blade... something which can cut through pretty much anything. Good thing Jedi never move their hands or fingers on the hilt or adjust the hilt position. Oh wait.
"Blasters
A tactical nightmare: They're incredibly loud, especially for firing what are essentially light beams. The fire ordnance is so slow it can be dodged, and it comes out as a streak of light that reveals your position to your enemies. Let's not even go near the idea of light beams being slow enough to dodge; that's just something you have let go of, or risk insanity."
Oh man, lets not go near that idea. If they were beams of light, they would move too fast for you to see. So guess they aren't beams of light. Guess they are something that moves slow enough to actually see. I also hear that militaries that use weapons that make loud bangs fail tactically and never accomplish missions. Oops.
"Landspeeders and other flying vehicles
Here's the thing: In the Star Wars universe, there are no seatbelts. And maybe if you're flying your hoity-toity vehicle on Coruscant, you have, like, a force field that keeps you flying out of your seat. But Luke's X-34 speeder on Tatooine? The Yugo of speeders, man. One hard stop, and out you go."
Seriously, your powers of observation are ridiculously bad. That or you are akin to a Trek fan that needs a technobabble explanation for everything even though you can see the effects of something clear as day. The people in Star Wars routinely travel, turn and stop at speeds that should turn them into goo. Since that doesn't happen, there must be something in effect that prevents that from happening. Does every single piece of technology in a setting like Star Wars need to be spelled out for you and given a name. Apparently, it does.
"Stormtrooper Uniforms
They stand out like a sore thumb in every environment but snow, the helmets restrict view ("I can't see a thing in this helmet!" -- Luke Skywalker), and the armor is penetrable by single shots from blasters. Add it all up and you have to wonder why stormtroopers don't just walk around naked, save for blinders and flip-flops."
Hey, I hear that modern armor on our soldiers stops bullets perfectly, every time. Oh wait. I also hear that if you randomly grab a helmet that isn't sized to your head, it may not fit correctly? IMPOSSIBLE! It must just not work properly! Looks like the only thing adding up is that you are an idiot.
"Death Star
An unshielded exhaust port leading directly to the central reactor? Really? And when you rebuild it, your solution to this problem is four paths into the central core so large that you can literally fly a spaceship through them? Brilliant. Note to the Emperor: Someone on your Death Star design staff is in the pay of Rebel forces. Oh, right, you can't get the memo because someone threw you down a huge exposed shaft in your Death Star throne room."
On top of not watching, I guess you had the sound down as well. "The shaft is RAY SHIELDED, so you will have to use proton torpedoes." I mean, like only a million to one shot guided by some miraculous force would get into that shaft... Oh... wait. I don't think I need to say anything about the fact that the second Death Star wasn't competed and it's inner superstructure was exposed. I mean, if you watched the... movie... you... Oh... wait. P.S. I hear that no one has ever been forcibly thrown over a railing before. Say it with me class... Oh.. wait.
"Bad design in Star Wars is not just limited to stuff; evolution here seems wacky, too. Three choice bits:"
Oh boy... do I want to even venture forward?
"Sarlaac
A monstrous yet immobile creature who lives in an exposed pit in the middle of a lifeless desert, waiting for large animals to apparently feel suicidal and trek out to throw themselves in? Yeah, not so much. Not every Sarlaac can count on an intergalactic mob boss to feed it tidbits."
Man, maybe you are just stupid. Yes, clearly Tattooine is lifeless. I mean, it's not like it supports tribes of Tusken Raiders, wandering banthas, womp rats, humans, and countless other aliens. Not to mention the Sarlacc itself and dinosuar sized creatures that you are shown the skeleton of if you watched... Oops I forgot. You really do need to have the obvious spelled out for you don't you.
"That Asteroid Worm Thing in Empire Strikes Back
So, large space worm lives in asteroid, disguises itself as a cave and waits for unwary spaceships to fly by so it can eat them? Makes the Sarlaac look like a marvel of natural selection, it does."
The fact that the Falcon flies into the space slug on accident, in a desperate attempt to not be captured or killed by the Empire automatically leads you to the conclusion that the space slugs source of food is space ships and its means of luring them in is disguising itself as a cave? Holy hell. Do you need help tying your shoe laces?
"Midi-Chlorians
Oh, man, don't get me started. Except to say this: If in fact a high concentration of midi-chlorians is the difference between being a common schmoe and being a dude who can Force Choke his enemies, the black market in midi-chlorian injections must be amazing."
It must be... unless... it doesn't work. I mean, if it were that easy, why not just clone an army of Jedi. Why spend what must be an unimaginable amount of money and resources blood screening the countless children born in the civilized part of the galaxy, when you could just inject some Force on into whoever you wanted? In the thousands of years of history in the Star Wars galaxy, surely someone must have thought of that right? Nah, it must have just taken a sharp mind like yours to come up with that idea.
We won't even touch on the fact that midichlorians are in your cells and not just your blood stream like you moronically assume from hearsay, since again, you clearly haven't actually seen any of the Star Wars movies.
It makes me sad that people like you are allowed to interact with the masses.
