Page 1 of 5
Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've Been
Posted: 2012-06-19 07:03pm
by Jim Raynor
Cracked.com
The Awesome Fan Theory:
The "clones" were artificially grown Jedi, and Obi-Wan was one of them -- thus the clone designation "OB-1."
Picture this: Millions of cloned Jedi Knights battling across planets and spaceships in a badass whirlwind of laser-force space death. A "star war," if you will. It makes sense: If you had to clone someone to create an army of warriors, a powerful Jedi would be the most logical choice.
According to this theory, the name Obi-Wan Kenobi is actually a transliteration of his serial number: OB-1, first in a line of star-warring space wizards. In the first movie, Obi-Wan uses the alias "Ben Kenobi," supposedly because he's hiding from the Empire, but that doesn't really make sense: Why would you keep the same last name if you didn't want to be found? This would explain where the alias came from: It was the name of the original Jedi he was cloned from (and therefore his "father").
Oh, and it closes a gigantic plot hole in the prequels: The reason the old man Obi-Wan doesn't seem to remember any of the events of the prequels (such as not remembering having ever seen the droids before, or that Darth Vader built Threepio) is that the old man is just a clone. Also, imagine the awesomeness of the surprise ending they could have included in Episode II, in which the future Darth Vader starts his march toward evil by pushing the original Obi-Wan Kenobi off of one of those high walkways they apparently design into every spaceship.
What We Got Instead:
In Episode II: Attack of the Clones, we find out that the Clone Wars was actually a war between some crappy robots and ... an army of Boba Fetts. The Jedi are sort of standing in between, and then they're all killed by the Boba Fetts. Yeah.
As for Obi-Wan, he forgot all about R2-D2 and C-3PO after spending three whole movies with them because ... you know what, at this point we don't even care.
Jesus Christ, was this garbage actually popular fanon back in the nineties? Someone tell me, because that's before my time in the fandom and I really don't know. Now the idea of the evil Jedi being the clones was not an uncommon one. But some people actually wanted the REAL Obi-Wan to die in the prequels, so that the Original Trilogy Obi-Wan would turn out to be a clone? Oh yeah, like that idea would've gone over REAL well with everyone. The fanboys wouldn't have raged even more if that had turned out to be the case...
Also, forget the fact that "OB-1" never mentions that he's a clone during any of the Force ghost scenes. Or if that ghost was the original Obi-Wan's, how he never mentions that Luke never met him because he was just running around with a stupid clone. And somehow the Jedi and the Force are still regarded as folklore in the OT, when the clone-Jedi fan idea would've filled the galaxy with even more of them than there were in actual canon.
And apparently, some fans are still racked with the inability to reconcile the Obi-Wan/R2 "plot hole" after all these years, when the easy explanation is that ANH Obi-Wan just kept things on the down low because he was lying to Luke and omitting lots of facts.
There are so many of these fanfic stories for how the prequels "should" have been, but so many of them are far worse than the actual thing.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 07:14pm
by Gandalf
Obi-Wan issues aside, I do like the idea of the Clone Wars being between cloned Jedi.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 07:15pm
by Batman
It's not even like Ben actually lied about R2. He said something about never owning a droid, and at least with regards to R2, he didn't-R2 was originally (presumably) Naboo government property and later belonged to Anakin. He held back WRT knowing R2 and CPO, but then it's not like he was all that forthcoming with what really happened to Skywalker Sr either.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 08:15pm
by Lord Revan
Tbh this seems to be just another fucking "lets bash the prequels since it's cool!" idea that seems to pop by every so often even though it was old 10 years ago, not that the prequels don't have their faults since by the Force they do but alot of these "better" fan ideas are even more stupid.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 08:24pm
by Batman
I'm not happy with the prequels (up until they happened the EU pretty strongly intimated the Clones were the bad guys in that war) but I agree a lot of the fandom 'fixes' actually make things worse.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 09:48pm
by Akhlut
Why the fuck should Obi-wan remember droids? They're considered tools, not sentient lifeforms.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 11:41pm
by Aaron MkII
Considering he spent 20 years living alone in a wasteland, he probably had more important things to think about. Like water and food.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 11:51pm
by Jim Raynor
I just love how conspiracy theorist this is, going out of its way to come up with a strained explanation for something that doesn't need explaining. Because not being completely forthcoming when you're deliberately lying about the past naturally leads to you being a clone.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-19 11:55pm
by PhilosopherOfSorts
Batman wrote:I'm not happy with the prequels (up until they happened the EU pretty strongly intimated the Clones were the bad guys in that war) but I agree a lot of the fandom 'fixes' actually make things worse.
They kinda were the bad guys, since they became the stormtroopers, they just didn't know it yet, if that makes any sense.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 01:22am
by Ford Prefect
I like how you assume that this theory is intended to fill a plot hole, as opposed to just wanting to inject some drama into the prequels.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 10:18am
by Jim Raynor
The web site I'm getting it from is the one talking about it supposedly closing "plot holes." And it's the worst sort of fanboy explanation; something that goes to ridiculous lengths to "explain" tiny, trivial matters that have no effect on the plot, and which nobody cares about. So some fans wanted OB-1 instead of Obi-Wan because they couldn't wrap their heads around the idea of Obi-Wan just keeping quiet about most things while he was lying to Luke.
Or the other thing that's mentioned in that page, which is that they thought the real Obi-Wan would've been stupid for not changing his last name while he was in hiding. Which this fan theory does absolutely nothing to address, since we still end up with a clone "Ben Kenobi" who's too stupid to change his last name while he was in hiding. The easy explanation is that there are probably lots of Kenobis out there in the SW galaxy, and that Obi-Wan just didn't bother. But that's too simple for some fans, I guess.
It's one thing to think that the Clone Wars would've been better with clone Jedi. It's quite another to change things like this so that a beloved character that people watched never really existed at all. Marvel Comics pulled this crap with Spider-Man during the infamous "Clone Saga," when it was revealed that the Peter Parker everyone had known for decades was really a clone. People thought that was idiotic, and it reversed. So some SW fanboys were actually advocating a plot that was deemed too stupid for comic books?
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 11:34am
by Broken
Wouldn't an army of cloned, war-mongering Jedi fall pretty damn quick to the Dark Side? I doubt Palpatine would want the competition and directing an army of Dark Side influenced force-users would quickly become an attempt to herd a bunch of murderous, insane cats. Not that I would expect Cracked to do the research, but Lucas himself has basically stated that the reason Darth Bane was forced to come up with the Rule of Two is that the Sith would inevitably turn on and fight amongst themselves even when it would be rational to not do so, because the Dark Side of the Force physically, mentally, and emotionally alters/damages those who attempt to use it.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 03:17pm
by Aaron MkII
You know Cracked is a joke site, right?
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 05:45pm
by Jim Raynor
I've read a bunch of articles from that site. It takes a humorous tone but many of its articles also try to be informative and analytical. The reason I posted this article was because a friend showed me the link, telling me that he remembered seeing this fan theory on an old forum way back in the day. I went in and took a quick stroll through the comments section, seeing some people agreeing on how awesome it was. It's really funny that some people think this is a good idea.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:00pm
by Bakustra
Thou hast defeated the man of straw! Of experience thou hast gained zero. Of gold thou hast gained one.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:17pm
by Jim Raynor
I don't know what you just tried to say Bakustra, but it's pretty lame that you came in here just to rehash your perceived rivalry with me from other threads.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:39pm
by Ford Prefect
Jim Raynor wrote:The web site I'm getting it from is the one talking about it supposedly closing "plot holes."
Dude, that is irrelevant to the thing which you've actually posted which, you know, we can all see. And you know what I see? A 250 word article where 50 words mentioned closing a plot hole. Go fucking figure.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:54pm
by Bakustra
Jim Raynor wrote:I don't know what you just tried to say Bakustra, but it's pretty lame that you came in here just to rehash your perceived rivalry with me from other threads.
Wow, crazy much? In any case, the point is that for all your jibber-jabber about "omigod this is SO STUPID!!!" because it "closes a plot hole", the majority of the article is concerned with introducing actual drama into the prequels, so you're essentially arguing against a strawman. Basically, what Ford said.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:54pm
by Jim Raynor
Ford Prefect wrote:Jim Raynor wrote:The web site I'm getting it from is the one talking about it supposedly closing "plot holes."
Dude, that is irrelevant to the thing which you've actually posted which, you know, we can all see. And you know what I see? A 250 word article where 50 words mentioned closing a plot hole. Go fucking figure.
250 words? Don't know where you got that from...oh wow did you actually copy-and-paste "The Awesome Fan Theory" section that I quoted into a word processor? If you're going that route and want to get all weirdly specific like that, then don't get it all wrong as everyone can see.
Let's see now, we have a first sentence that just mentions the "OB-1" concept, and three paragraphs after that. The first paragraph says how awesome a Jedi Clone War would've been.
The second paragraph reiterates that OB-1 is a clone, then immediately goes into why Obi-Wan's use of the "Kenobi" name in ANH "doesn't really make sense." Supposedly, OB-1's given name being "Ben" would "explain where this alias came from." I count over 60 words there, related to the idea of patching up supposed plot holes.
The third paragraph starts by saying that OB-1 would fix another "gigantic plot hole" related to Obi-Wan's knowledge of R2. I see about another 50 words there on the subject.
Oh yeah, they really weren't talking about "plot holes" there. Sheesh man, we're talking about one completely awful fan theory from the nineties, according to this article. You're really going to argue and get pedantic over this?
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:56pm
by Jim Raynor
Bakustra wrote:Jim Raynor wrote:I don't know what you just tried to say Bakustra, but it's pretty lame that you came in here just to rehash your perceived rivalry with me from other threads.
Wow, crazy much? In any case, the point is that for all your jibber-jabber about "omigod this is SO STUPID!!!" because it "closes a plot hole", the majority of the article is concerned with introducing actual drama into the prequels, so you're essentially arguing against a strawman. Basically, what Ford said.
1. "Introducing drama" by killing off an established character and replacing him with a clone is freaking hilarious, so yes I will laugh at that.
2. You mad?
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 06:59pm
by Bakustra
Jim Raynor wrote:
1. "Introducing drama" by killing off an established character and replacing him with a clone is freaking hilarious, so yes I will laugh at that.
2. You mad?
Alpha: Aww, it thinks it's people! Get back into the terrarium, little axolotl! Off the keyboard! Shoo, shoo!
Beta: It's actually not all that hilarious compared to actual plot twists in the prequels, so I don't see how you can laugh at it with a clear conscience, or rather how you could if you had a conscience to be clear.
Gamma: Your pedantry is tiresome.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 07:02pm
by Jim Raynor
I can't even get past your odd word choices in that first sentence. Such clear trolling. This is what, the third time you've tried to start some shit in as many months?
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 07:11pm
by Bakustra
Jim Raynor wrote:I can't even get past your odd word choices in that first sentence. Such clear trolling. This is what, the third time you've tried to start some shit in as many months?
"Odd word choices"? You really are a stupid little salamander, aren't you? Anyways, actual plot twists as bad as "character was a clone all along" from the Star Wars prequels:
"Character was a clone all along": Used for Boba Fett, stormtroopers.
"Plot hole filled by convenient amnesia": Used for C-3PO at the end of ROTS.
I can think of some more if you like.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 07:37pm
by Jim Raynor
There's a big difference between Obi-Wan and Boba Fett, a bit character who says maybe a couple of lines. Neither did OT Boba Fett have any kind of a past to be contradicted, as far as the movies were concerned. Neither was C-3PO any kind of pivotal character, aside from providing bits of comedy.
And I wonder what kind of person uses "salamander" or "axolotl" as an insult, and somehow thinks that comes across as cool instead of trying too hard.
Re: Another "Awesome" Fan Idea For How the Movies Should've
Posted: 2012-06-20 07:56pm
by Ford Prefect
Jim Raynor wrote:250 words? Don't know where you got that from...oh wow did you actually copy-and-paste "The Awesome Fan Theory" section that I quoted into a word processor? If you're going that route and want to get all weirdly specific like that, then don't get it all wrong as everyone can see.
Let's see now, we have a first sentence that just mentions the "OB-1" concept, and three paragraphs after that. The first paragraph says how awesome a Jedi Clone War would've been.
The second paragraph reiterates that OB-1 is a clone, then immediately goes into why Obi-Wan's use of the "Kenobi" name in ANH "doesn't really make sense." Supposedly, OB-1's given name being "Ben" would "explain where this alias came from." I count over 60 words there, related to the idea of patching up supposed plot holes.
The third paragraph starts by saying that OB-1 would fix another "gigantic plot hole" related to Obi-Wan's knowledge of R2. I see about another 50 words there on the subject.
Oh yeah, they really weren't talking about "plot holes" there. Sheesh man, we're talking about one completely awful fan theory from the nineties, according to this article. You're really going to argue and get pedantic over this?
Are you literally insane? Honest question.