To Kill Ewoks or not to kill Ewoks-

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-29 02:24am

- that is the question which concerns this post. What do you think is the best way to kill those annoying little walking teddy bears that beat the Empire?!

Dillon · Post by **Dillon** » 2003-10-29 02:32am

Simple, drop one of those Seismic charges the Slave I was carrying right in the center of their village. That ougt to take out most of them, if not all of them.

Though, I do think a lot more people would be far more satisfied with the most possible excruciatingly painful way to kill Jar Jar Binks.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-10-29 02:34am

Jar Jar and an Ewok in the Thunderdome.

"Two annoying characters enter, one annoying character leaves!!"

"Yousa going to die hairy bombad bear."

"Chi wanna wamba."

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-10-29 02:38am

Stravo wrote:Jar Jar and an Ewok in the Thunderdome.

"Two annoying characters enter, one annoying character leaves!!"

"Yousa going to die hairy bombad bear."

"Chi wanna wamba."

Ewok easily...just use the spear to kill that boob.

then afterwards...you roast both of them.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-29 02:41am

Build a Death Star in orbit around a civilized planet, then take aquick hop over to Endor.

"Hello, little fuzzies. Remember us?"

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2003-10-29 03:15am

*warning, this is about to get VERY NASTY*

1) Tie them up by their feat and beat them for several days straight in order to tenderize them.

2) Skin them, starting with the feet.

3) Dunk them into pool of iodine, followed by tubs of salt.

4) Brand them with the Imperial insignia on their buttocks.

5) Roast them over a large grill on spiks with apples in their mouths (pig style).

6) While they are roasting, use captured Wookie slaves to make slippers out of their skinned hides.

7) Throw all out Imperial celebrity mixer. Give away free pair of Ewok slippers to all who attend and an furry hat for the Emperor. Enjoy roasted Ewok while discussing plans for galactic domination. Don't invite Boba Fett or else he may get drunk and decide to urinate in the punch bowl.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-10-29 04:02am

Let the Federation turn Endor into a colony world and let Janeway run ot

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2003-10-29 09:24am

Detonate a 900 km space station in low orbit.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-29 09:48am

I'd do it ala Vigo the Carpathian: They'd be poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-10-29 09:51am

The Kernel wrote:...Don't invite Boba Fett or else he may get drunk and decide to urinate in the punch bowl.

Boba Fett learned the "social-etiquette" from Jabba.

...As for the ewoks:

"Kill....All of them!"

"You are free to use any methods..."

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-29 10:00am

Makes you wonder if the Empire, some time after Endor and the Jedi Praxeum trilogy, exterminated them ala the Klingons and the tribbles on Star Trek.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-10-29 01:54pm

It's a forrest moon. Napalm in a few places and see if you can get a nifty global firestorm going. Too bad about the trees though.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-10-29 02:31pm

JME2 wrote:- that is the question which concerns this post. What do you think is the best way to kill those annoying little walking teddy bears that beat the Empire?!

Drop the exploded little bits of Death Star on their heads...... Ooops, the rebellion already did.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-29 04:07pm

Stormbringer wrote:
JME2 wrote:- that is the question which concerns this post. What do you think is the best way to kill those annoying little walking teddy bears that beat the Empire?!
Drop the exploded little bits of Death Star on their heads...... Ooops, the rebellion already did.

Yeah, that goes into the arguement that theforce.net had a while back, the one about how by destroying the second Death Star, the Rebels sealed the fate of the Ewoks; the radioactive fallout would slowly kill them off.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2003-10-29 04:19pm

JME2 wrote:- that is the question which concerns this post. What do you think is the best way to kill those annoying little walking teddy bears that beat the Empire?!

Jack O'neill has a good idea:

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-10-29 04:49pm

Flame Thrower, Set to extra crispy.

Close and personal

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-10-29 06:18pm

(large pics)

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-10-29 06:33pm

Base Delta Zero!

dworkin · Post by **dworkin** » 2003-10-29 10:09pm

I'm with Ripley, "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. That's the only way to be sure."

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-10-30 08:10pm

The Kernel wrote:*warning, this is about to get VERY NASTY*

1) Tie them up by their feat and beat them for several days straight in order to tenderize them.

2) Skin them, starting with the feet.

3) Dunk them into pool of iodine, followed by tubs of salt.

4) Brand them with the Imperial insignia on their buttocks.

5) Roast them over a large grill on spiks with apples in their mouths (pig style).

6) While they are roasting, use captured Wookie slaves to make slippers out of their skinned hides.

And wok-skin hats (like coon-skin hats, but out of Ewoks).

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-10-30 08:11pm

I've personally never had a problem with the Ewoks or Gunguns, to tell you the truth.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-30 08:28pm

ACtgually, here's an even better question: Who deserves to be killed more - the Ewoks or the Gungans?

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-10-30 08:35pm

In all seriousness (I cant believe I used the word serious for this) the only truly stupid Gungan we see was Jar Jar....so maybe the entire race isnt as inept. Hell they were smart enough to exile him werent they?

Ewoks deserve it more. Ridiculous and primitive balls of fur. 1 Battalion of Stormies with Flamethrowers.....mmm deep fried ewoks, hell they might even start a new craze in the Empire

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-10-30 08:42pm

pellaeons_scion wrote:In all seriousness (I cant believe I used the word serious for this) the only truly stupid Gungan we see was Jar Jar....so maybe the entire race isnt as inept. Hell they were smart enough to exile him werent they?

Ewoks deserve it more. Ridiculous and primitive balls of fur. 1 Battalion of Stormies with Flamethrowers.....mmm deep fried ewoks, hell they might even start a new craze in the Empire

Yeah...reminds me of the line from Good Morning Vietnam about the water buffalo and the napalm.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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