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(Humor) Light Sabers -Ginsu for the Star Wars Galaxy

Posted: 2002-10-11 01:40am
by The Yosemite Bear
Somehow my twisted and demented mind was going over the poll at the parent site, while flipping channels on late night cable.

Look, at this handy dandy, multipurpose tool, see how it's good for every single job, around the house and they proceed to show a rechargable drill/multitool that looked very much like a light saber (Of course this was three in the morning, it may have just been me). And I began to imagine a paid advertisement for a light saber.

"....Watch how it cuts through this armoured bridge door, you'd never think of trying this with a vibroblade, and with blaster rifles it could take hours...."

"....and if you act now we will include the special training ball, accention gun, and trusty dewback leather belt free with your lightsaber....."

"....Please have credit chips, and prooof of force sensitivity ready when ording. Order in the next fifteen minutes or less and we will include Anikian and Yoda's tips on using the force to impress the opposite sex...."

Posted: 2002-10-11 01:58am
by weemadando
"... Got a dark jedi infestation? Try Sith-b-Gone! The latest product from Jedi Coucils 'r' Us ..."

"It slices it dices, it turns a small chihuahua into a taco in under 27 seconds!"

"Look at this! This is a once in a life-time offer, you get a Death Star II, thats right a Death Star II, 800 plus miles of planet destroying goodness, not only that, but we'll throw in the crew complement for free! . . . Call in the next 10 minutes and receive a free SSD with each order... Remember, no ever over-lords power is complete without one! Call now!"

Posted: 2002-10-11 05:57am
by EmperorMing
"It slices, it dices, it even circumcises..."