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Saw this at a online comic website


Top 10 Other Things that Han Shot that Didn't Shoot at Him First

10. A poor, defenseless Mynock. This flappy critter couldn't even operate a gun, much less shoot at Han.
9. The Space Slug. Just moments after the cold-blooded Mynock shooting, we see Han shoot the insides of a space creature kind enough to have an atmosphere and gravity in its stomach.
8. A stormtrooper. Given slightly lower test scores, this guy could have been a bounty hunter.
7. The garbage compactor door. Even Leia thought this was excessive.
6. The intercom at the Detention Block. Think of all the calls home Imperial troops had made from that comm unit. "Hi Mom. We blew up Alderaan today. Give love to Pop."
5.An officer on the Death Star. Hey, that could have been a Bothan spy. They're masters of disguise, you know.
4.Imperial probe droid. Before he left the base, Han listened to the garble it was transmitting and said, "It isn't friendly whatever it is." If you don't now what it is, how can you tell it is bad? There might have been space kittens in there.
3.Vader's wingman. The guy was given a direct order not to fire. He was just around for moral support.
2. The Sarlaac tentacle. It was only trying to eat Lando-- heck, didn't Chewie want to do that at the end of Empire?
1.His poor, dying Tauntaun. Perhaps in the special edition, Lucas should have animated the tauntaun going nuts and in the throes of death, clawing out one on Han's eyes or grabbing his blaster and squeezing off a few shots-- making it justifiable to spill its smelly macaroni guts in the snow.

Funny but, Han didn't shoot the Tauntaun, he cut it open.

I say replace #1 with Darth Vader himself. How much of a badass are you if your first instinct is to squeeze off three or five rounds into the Dark Lord himself?

I can see Greedo shooting first, although missing at that range is really far-fetched. What pisses my off more than the blow to Han's badass image is the horrible job they did on that bit. It's like Luke's escape from the wampa lair in TESB. We hear the distinct noise of the blade being deactivated, and yet it's still there. I'd watch my original trilogy instead if it wasn't worn out.

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I say replace #1 with Darth Vader himself. How much of a badass are you if your first instinct is to squeeze off three or five rounds into the Dark Lord himself?

That was badass. No hesitation. No moral dilemma about shooting first. See bad guy, have blaster, draw and fire many times. Plain and simple. Han Solo was still a rogue in TESB despite Lucas' best efforts to sanitize his character in ANH:SE.

I agree about Han shooting Vader. I'll have to write back to the website I found it and suggest having him change #1.

Lazy Raptor wrote:I can see Greedo shooting first, although missing at that range is really far-fetched.

So it's okay that the only reason Han solo lived to see act three of the first movie of the trilogy was because Greedo is spectactularly incompetent (but still competent enough to get the drop on Han)?

Deathstalker wrote:I agree about Han shooting Vader. I'll have to write back to the website I found it and suggest having him change #1.

Thanks. I mean, its an obvious choice, and it fits right in since he didn't shoot the tauntaun.

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I say replace #1 with Darth Vader himself. How much of a badass are you if your first instinct is to squeeze off three or five rounds into the Dark Lord himself?

Damn right! You have to have some pretty big testicles to shoot at that.