The Exploited Universe

[Adam Reynolds]

Here is a thread on theforce.net message board
+http://boards.theforce.net/Attack_of_th ... 0777/?4842

It is making fun of the EU and it is pretty funny

[Vympel]

This has been posted before, ages ago, but it sums up my view of EU crap in the films perfectly. No thank you, basically.

Because fanboys wanna see us. Aren't we cool?

Hear hear.

Mara Jade: Don't you at least like our ship? It's a Dreadnaught, you know.

Obi-wan: Looks like a real POS to me. You sure that's a real starship?

ROFLMAO ....

This is why the only SW books I give two shits about are the DK books.

[VT-16]

But, but the DK books have EU references...... *whine* ;__;
LOL

I do like some of the EU-walkers, though. Hope we get AT-PTs in the new CW episodes.

And don´t you dare diss Dark Empire I!!! With a little restructuring and some character-changes it could be a magnificent animated piece! Lucas has to use that new Lucas Animation for something....

[Vympel]

But, but the DK books have EU references...... *whine* ;__;
LOL

Only in passing tho.

I do like some of the EU-walkers, though. Hope we get AT-PTs in the new CW episodes.

I quite liked the V-19 Torrent fighters in the Clone Wars cartoon; too bad that they're not being used for Episode III.

And don´t you dare diss Dark Empire I!!! With a little restructuring and some character-changes it could be a magnificent animated piece! Lucas has to use that new Lucas Animation for something....

Having finally read Dark Empire, I'll say that it captured the epic feel of SW better than other EU (it wans't minimalist, to my knowledge), but bringing the Emperor back from the dead multiple times was just hackneyed.

[Kazuaki Shimazaki]

Having finally read Dark Empire, I'll say that it captured the epic feel of SW better than other EU (it wans't minimalist, to my knowledge), but bringing the Emperor back from the dead multiple times was just hackneyed.

That's what Bob Brown said too. Anyway, bringing more clones of the Emperor back was repetitive, but then, most of the other primary villains of Star Wars (save Thrawn) weren't all that much to look at.

[Praxis]

Thrawn ruled...The X-wing books were cool (though Isard was a nut).
And Nom Anor was hilarious (always plotting galactic domination, always screwing up, his mind screaming about an itch in the middle of a big meeting, etc).
Though I gotta agree, a lot of the villans sucked, but there were quite a few of the EU books with good storyline.

[PainRack]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

[Vympel]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

It was haphazard and messy, wasn't it? The look of the characters was for the most part shit (the only exception being Luke Skywalker, the Vader look was very awesome); and though closeups of vessels were for the most part good, the work of the vessels arrayed around Byss could've been far better.

[Ghost Rider]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

No...Vietch sucked at any sort of penciling work and the colors were abysmal.

I liked Dorman's covers and would've liked that as the interior of the book.

[Jade Falcon]

What is it with Dark Horse and the 'two or three colour look'. Some of the artwork was appalling.

[JME2]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

Yes. It was a good premise that was indeed ruined by shitty artwork.Of course, this is just my humble opinion so anyone out there, feel free to disagree with me.

[Bertie Wooster]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

No...Vietch sucked at any sort of penciling work and the colors were abysmal.

I liked Dorman's covers and would've liked that as the interior of the book.

I think the comics were done in watercolor which would explain why instead of the beatiful star-field we were accustomed to seeing, we instead got outer space colored gray-blue and aqua-green and purplish.

[Ghost Rider]

Is it just me, or does anyone feel that the badly drawn artwork of Dark Empire totally ruined the grandeur it was supposed to engineer?

No...Vietch sucked at any sort of penciling work and the colors were abysmal.

I liked Dorman's covers and would've liked that as the interior of the book.

I think the comics were done in watercolor which would explain why instead of the beatiful star-field we were accustomed to seeing, we instead got outer space colored gray-blue and aqua-green and purplish.

Some of it probably...but honestly that's is Vietch's coloring and pencilling through and through.

Which why I really can't understand why the fuck they chose him.

I mean the main skin colors were green for chrissake.

EDIT: It is Cam Kennedy.

Blah...bad mind. Still hated the crap in DE1-Empire's End. And his recent Punisher Stint was just as crappy.

Dammit there are more then three fucking colors!

[Spanky The Dolphin]

I guess I'm in the minority in that I sort of liked Cam Kennedy's (not Veitch's) art. Although I thought it was better in DEI than DEII.

[VT-16]

I liked the art, but I agree, the coloring was too un-natural for a SW story. And it suffered from the normal "paint-new-types-of-ships-in-every-single-frame" syndrome.

And when I say I like Dark Empire I, I mean ONLY DARK EMPIRE I. DE II had a throw-away villain and the Emperor kept coming back. Once is enough, go reincarnate on a summer-resort and write your memoirs, you old sod.

I´ll refrain from commenting on Empire´s End. Enough has been said about THAT particular "story" already...

[President Sharky]

I'm with you VT-16, Dark Empire I is a masterpiece. Hell, I even kind of like the art, in a weired sort of way. But Dark Empire II and Empire's End are the two seqels that should be banished from existance for all time. Hell, even the editors at Dark Horse say that the thing's a piece of shit, and that it would be better if they never mentioned it ever again.

[VT-16]

But Dark Empire II and Empire's End are the two seqels that should be banished from existance for all time. Hell, even the editors at Dark Horse say that the thing's a piece of shit, and that it would be better if they never mentioned it ever again.

LOL really?
That´s just great.


The reason I like DE I, is that it somehow connects with the old rumors about the Sequal Trilogy: Luke taking his father´s place, his sister coming to rescue him, the Emperor is revealed (although for a second time).

It just felt like a SW movie. And with some minor tweaks to the characters (like major restructuring of Palpatine, he just seemed pathetic at the end there), it would be a good story. And no Young Palpatine. From what I hear about ROTS, he doesn´t need to be young to kick ass... (Or do we want another ST:Nemesis...? )

I´m telling you, this could work as a stand-alone animated movie! Battle of Coruscant and Mon Calamari would be so sweet to see in movement!

Besides the Clone Wars TV-series, it´s the only story I feel 'fit' the movie universe. I certainly use references to other EU-stories or vehicles in a discussion if I must, but only keep a superficial connection to the events themselves. They just don´t feel right...

And from what I hear, the Yuusan Vong (or however you spell that ) just seem like something out of a RPG. Doesn´t gel with me when I think of SW.

[Kurgan]

The Exploited Universe was pretty good, although part 2 (EUpisode III) kind of wandered off into "it's a forum fun game time!" meandering deal.

There's one or two gaffs in there about "Mandalorians" but otherwise pretty spot on. ; )

There will probably be need for even more revisions in May 2005 (ROTS baby, ROTS!).

Such is the way with 'fan fiction'...


Note: I don't "hate the EU" (not ALL of it), but I think such a farce is useful in that it points out some of the differences between the EU and the movies.

DE's artwork took some getting used to but I thought it was fine. Had it's own character. I also enjoyed the Clone Wars cartoon and don't share the view that "the animation is bad." Then again I'm a fan of that animation team's other work, so maybe I'm biased. ; )

If Lucas wants to excite the fanboys, he could do an "Animatrix" for the Star Wars EU. Dark Empire could even work using the same style in animated form. But let the films tell their own story. DE's plot was ludicrous and full of cliches, but it had lots of action and a hard edge, so it worked for me.

[VT-16]

I also enjoyed the Clone Wars cartoon and don't share the view that "the animation is bad." Then again I'm a fan of that animation team's other work, so maybe I'm biased. ; )

I didn´t like Tartakovsky´s artwork on his previous series, and when I heard he was gonna work on this series, I had a reaction similar to AvP fanboys when they heard Paul W.C. Anderson was gonna direct. FUCK NO!
I imagined pseudo-anime-speedstreaks or overly cartoony physics on the characters and ships and..... UGH.

Fortunately, things turned out differently, and while AvP fans hang their heads in shame today, I´ll be awaiting the DVD and the final episodes with anticipation.

If Lucas wants to excite the fanboys, he could do an "Animatrix" for the Star Wars EU. Dark Empire could even work using the same style in animated form. But let the films tell their own story.

True, I´d love to see something like this, but with better ties to the movie-universe, especially after certain altered elements with the PT.

DE's plot was ludicrous and full of cliches, but it had lots of action and a hard edge, so it worked for me.

Hmm, what was so ludicrous about it? (I can think of somethings, but I just want to hear from other people...)

[Kurgan]

What's ludicrous? Well, just the fact that it plays out like some mad fanwank dream...

Where to begin?

You thought Vader coming back from the Darkside was a big deal huh? Nah, his son did the same thing by becoming the Emperor's lacky for awhile and killing a bunch of rebels then comes back after his sister sweet talks him a bit.

The Emperor, guess what, he died a long time ago (edit: before the movies)! All this time he's been shoving his "soul" into clone bodies 'cause the Darkside turns him into a prune in a matter of seconds! (or whatever)

Not only that but in his young body he looks (and dresses) like Count Dracula!

Oh, and he can teleport people and make storms happen in space. And he's got a ton of super weapons. All stuff he had all along but forgot to use during the movies to save his sorry ass.

Thankfully Dracula, I mean "Palpatine's clone", can be defeated if Luke and Leia stand side by side and make their tummies glow with the "power of luminous beings" and his "force storm" eats him.

Oh, and Boba Fett, he's alive again and still harassing Han & Chewie. He's immortal!

The Empire has a fleet of fighters that have the souls of dead pilots in them! And armies of "Dark Side" enhanced vehicles, monsters and minions! They even have an army of Dark Side mutant rancors!

Some of these Dark Side minions are so powerful they employ the amazing combat tactic of lurching forward with outstretched arm(s) towards their enemies, proving less effective in combat than Romero's zombies.

We knew aliens could be Jedi, but now we have a... JEDI TREE. Yup, a friggin' TREE!!!

The silliness goes on and on, but somehow, it passes...

[nightmare]

The silliness goes on and on, but somehow, it passes...

If you look only for faults, you are bound to find many.

[Kurgan]

And your problem with that is....? ; )

Actually these you don't have to dig for, they are right there for anyone to see who has even a passing familiarity with the movies.

And I've said I enjoyed the Dark Empire series, even if I agree that much of it is silly.

[Kazuaki Shimazaki]

What's ludicrous? Well, just the fact that it plays out like some mad fanwank dream...

Where to begin?

You thought Vader coming back from the Darkside was a big deal huh? Nah, his son did the same thing by becoming the Emperor's lacky for awhile and killing a bunch of rebels then comes back after his sister sweet talks him a bit.

Well, the Dark Side's corruption is slow. It is possible if you aren't deep into it, a good persuasion alone could allow you to turn.

The Emperor, guess what, he died a long time ago (edit: before the movies)! All this time he's been shoving his "soul" into clone bodies 'cause the Darkside turns him into a prune in a matter of seconds! (or whatever)

Well, that's with the novel, who IIRC has some stuff about how the Dark Side really erodes a body.

Not only that but in his young body he looks (and dresses) like Count Dracula!

I never really seen Count Dracula. But so what?

Oh, and he can teleport people and make storms happen in space. And he's got a ton of super weapons. All stuff he had all along but forgot to use during the movies to save his sorry ass.

Everyone knew the Emperor was holding back with Luke, until it was too late in ROTJ.

Thankfully Dracula, I mean "Palpatine's clone", can be defeated if Luke and Leia stand side by side and make their tummies glow with the "power of luminous beings" and his "force storm" eats him.

It's a comic. Such cheesy endings are common in comics (or at least in manga). Three of the five SW films so far could be said to have kind of cheesy, contrived endings anyway:
1) ANH: The MF shows up at the perfect time.
2) ROTJ: The Executor gets hit by a A-Wing ... the Ewoks ... you know.
3) TPM: Do I have to say more?

Oh, and Boba Fett, he's alive again and still harassing Han & Chewie. He's immortal!

Well, there was an EU series that pretty much postulated the same thing...

The Empire has a fleet of fighters that have the souls of dead pilots in them! And armies of "Dark Side" enhanced vehicles, monsters and minions! They even have an army of Dark Side mutant rancors!

Yeah, what's so funny. We all knew the Dark Side could help combat.

Some of these Dark Side minions are so powerful they employ the amazing combat tactic of lurching forward with outstretched arm(s) towards their enemies, proving less effective in combat than Romero's zombies.

OK, that was dumb, I'd admit.

We knew aliens could be Jedi, but now we have a... JEDI TREE. Yup, a friggin' TREE!!!

The silliness goes on and on, but somehow, it passes...

Well, that may be taking it too far.

[Kurgan]

Well, the Dark Side's corruption is slow. It is possible if you aren't deep into it, a good persuasion alone could allow you to turn.

That Luke's hated enemy tries to seduce him again isn't that far fetched. But first the comic sets us up believing that Luke is so much more mature in the Force that he won't be quite so susceptable. Also, Palpy's clone doesn't have Vader there to use a tool in the scheme (well, he sort of uses Leia I guess).

That's not the silly part, the silly part is the utter ease with which Luke goes from hero, to villian, and then hero again.

Vader was under the Emperor's thumb for at LEAST 20 years before his redemption, and that redemption cost him his LIFE. Here Luke shrugs it off in record time, further diminishing Anakin's legacy.

The fact that this was repeated in Mysteries of the Sith was also a bit silly, but that's a seperate issue. Something like this happens once, it's fine. It happens more often and it becomes a cliche, like the super weapons and cloned bad guys returning to life.

Well, that's with the novel, who IIRC has some stuff about how the Dark Side really erodes a body.

There's nothing about him DYING multiple times and transfering his soul into new bodies that look like Count Dracula is there? I thought it was just something vague about him looking pretty withered for his age. Though with the Prequels showing him as already an old man in TPM, this becomes even more tenuous. Be that as it may, we're still forced to accept that Palpatine is going through bodies like people with irritable bowel syndrome go through toilet paper.

Also the "evil powerful Force users's soul floating around doing nasty things" is a cliche in the EU already. Exar Kun, the Valley of the Jedi, etc.

I never really seen Count Dracula. But so what?

Sheltered eh? Bram Stoker's classic novel doesn't have any pictures, but the classic 1930's film starring Bela Lugosi is world-famous. Then there's Christopher Lee's famous portrayal of the Count in the 1970's (IIRC) in several films. Take one look at the guy and you'll see. He's got the same spooky stare, the slicked back hair with prominent widow's peak, the big collared cape, his teeth are even a little pointy! The resemblance is uncanny, can it even be an accident?

But to take such an easily recognizable villian and use that as the image for the Emperor as a young man is just goofy.

Everyone knew the Emperor was holding back with Luke, until it was too late in ROTJ.

My point is, Palpy didn't need a Death Star, or a Fleet. He could have used these powers and weapons on the Rebels and won a long time ago. Was he that stupid? If he had all this stuff and used it, the Rebels shouldn't have won ANY victories. He is an Evil OverLord (tm) after all, but it's just kind of odd that he's suddenly so much more powerful as a dead guy with some ragtag idiots working for him than when he actually had an Empire to command.

It's a comic. Such cheesy endings are common in comics (or at least in manga). Three of the five SW films so far could be said to have kind of cheesy, contrived endings anyway:
1) ANH: The MF shows up at the perfect time.
2) ROTJ: The Executor gets hit by a A-Wing ... the Ewoks ... you know.
3) TPM: Do I have to say more?

Granted, but Dark Empire definately lowers the bar for this sort of thing. It's silly, even by Star Wars standards.

Well, there was an EU series that pretty much postulated the same thing...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but there are at least two seperate explanations for Boba Fett's return, but this is the FIRST time that we were notified that he was back. I thought that DE came first, and then the short stories were written later to explain WHY he was alive (even if those stories conflicted or were considered apocryphal).

The deal with the EU is that once one author sets something in stone, the rest of the authors copy it (barring some intervention by Lucas) to maintain continuity. At least that's how it's supposed to work. So it's not surprising that other novels acknowledged Fett's return after the fact.

The Empire has a fleet of fighters that have the souls of dead pilots in them! And armies of "Dark Side" enhanced vehicles, monsters and minions! They even have an army of Dark Side mutant rancors!

Yeah, what's so funny. We all knew the Dark Side could help combat.

Which is why one wonders where (and why) Palpy was keeping all of this awesome Dark Side tech in reserve during the Galactic Civil War.

Why did he waste all that time and money on a Death Star when he could have used all these Dark Side minions when it actually would have done some good (before the Rebels actually had some power base established and the Empire was a bunch of feuding generals and ragtag forces)?

Then again, the Dark Side troops still lost, and some of them were downright laughable (the "Dark Jedi" for example).

But it's akin to the hero in some action movie beating up the villian in a climactic and well choreographed fist fight, only to find that the guy had about 20 lbs. of guns, knives, gadgets and other weapons under his coat that he forgot to use).

OK, that was dumb, I'd admit.

Well, that may be taking it too far.

Score! I mean... oh. ; )

[Jade Falcon]

The three Bounter Hunter books written by KW Jeter were released some time after Dark Empire.