StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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1. If they can understand Singlish, they’ll have no problem understanding Jar Jar Binks.

2. All those stormtroopers in white ready to do the Emperor’s bidding.

3. Singaporeans are really jolly. They keep giggling each time I mention ‘the planet Naboo’.

4. Lots of inspiration from ah liens for alien hairstyles.

5. If they’re supporting A*Star, why not the Death Star too?

6. In the land of the AYE, PIE, CTE, CPF, LRT, LTA, MRT, etc, the people will have no trouble accepting names like C3P0 and R2D2.

7. Singapore is willing to produce an army of clones to extend my Empire.

8. Harrison Ford and I have acquired a controlling stake in a Singaporean nyonya kueh company, which we are renaming “BengaHan Solo”.

9. Save a bundle on tricky costuming by asking Moses Lim to play Jabba the Hutt.

10. Would have come earlier, but long hair policy was problematic for Chewbacca.

11. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with Jack Neo on a project: “Death Star No Enough”.

12. The EDB kept waving their hands in front of my face and repeating, “You will relocate to Singapore.”

13. The son who thinks he can give A New Hope after his father goes over to the Dark Side… somehow that strikes a chord in me.

I mean, where else can you find a place where Naboo and Mustafa(r) are words actually in use?:D:D

Funny, but I don't think most of the humour there is within the grasp of your average SDnet denizen.

Naboo = Na-pek? (Not 100% familiar with Singlish).

My knowledge of Singapore is limited entirely to "strict police (city-) state with a fixation on cleanliness". Could you explain some of those references?

kheegan wrote:Funny, but I don't think most of the humour there is within the grasp of your average SDnet denizen.

Naboo = Na-pek? (Not 100% familiar with Singlish).

The closest I can think of is S'pore Hokkien for "your mother" as in "Fuck your mother's smelly cunt". Not particularly close, mind.

I quite like No.2 though. Palpatine's Army of Patricians.

No.13 seems a bit off to me. Some would say that the father was always one of the Dark Side anyway.

Naboo sounds like a corruption of Nabei, Napooi or Nabuai.
It means vagina or any other form of vulgarity, all related to the female genitialia.

1. Singlish. Its just as broken as Jar Jar english.
2. The PAP official uniform is white.
7. Refers to the government "Biopolis" project and its willingness to accept thereauptic cloning......... as well as the old joke about how the government is attempting to produce bots citizens which will unquestiongly obey and execute every order given to it.
8. Its a lame joke. Forget it.
10. During the 60s, Lee Kuan Yew insituted a "Long Hair Policy", which dictates that men sporting long hair will be given non preferential service in government offices. This was an attempt to combat the hippie culture. Technically, its still valid.

Mustafar sounds exactly the same as Mustafa centre, a popular shopping centre for Asian tourists. And its now open 24hrs a day.

Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

The weather's too humid for me, but the food is great.

Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

Meh. There are plenty of worse places in the world. *shrugs*



What the heck is number 13 about? Lee Hsien Loong?

Hey PainRack, I'm Malaysian

Cykeisme wrote:Hey PainRack, I'm Malaysian

Hail, fellow countryman

Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

Well, I hear it's very tidy.

AniThyng wrote:
What the heck is number 13 about? Lee Hsien Loong?

Presumably so.

Cykeisme wrote:Hey PainRack, I'm Malaysian

Hail, fellow countryman #2

PainRack wrote:Naboo sounds like a corruption of Nabei, Napooi or Nabuai.
It means vagina or any other form of vulgarity, all related to the female genitialia.

My Hokkien is deteriorating by the week, but I thought "boo" would be more like "mother" as in kao peh kao bu.

Painrack wrote: 1. Singlish. Its just as broken as Jar Jar english.
2. The PAP official uniform is white.
7. Refers to the government "Biopolis" project and its willingness to accept thereauptic cloning......... as well as the old joke about how the government is attempting to produce bots citizens which will unquestiongly obey and execute every order given to it.
8. Its a lame joke. Forget it.
10. During the 60s, Lee Kuan Yew insituted a "Long Hair Policy", which dictates that men sporting long hair will be given non preferential service in government offices. This was an attempt to combat the hippie culture. Technically, its still valid.

Not to mention re: No.2 that the PAP symbol is the Lightning/Thunder Bolt.

No.10 is no longer valid. It may still be on the books, but there are crazy things still left on the books and nobody gives a shit about (some of) them anymore. There are even men in sporting long hair working in some, um, sensitive Singapore ministries.

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

I heard the place was actually pretty nice

Shroom Man 777 wrote:

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

I heard the place was actually pretty nice

It *is* authoritarian and it *is* paternalistic. That those intrinsically qualify Singapore as a "shithole" is the bit we disagree on

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

It's all relative, I guess. There are shitholes in the US that I wouldn't go to, but they don't even have the redeeming factors of Singapore. Best range of cuisines in the world I reckon, rivalled perhaps surpassed only by Malaysia. Pretty decent shopping. Clean and green-ish. Fairly low crime. Compulsory 2.5 years of visiting the region at government expense for able-bodied males (well some anyway). Some people actually do like that sort of thing.

As for authoritarianism and paternalism, at least the Singapore government makes a decent effort in ensuring certain material priorities for its people. And it's not like they don't carry out the necessary reforms from time to time either.

Cykeisme wrote:Hey PainRack, I'm Malaysian

OMG! ME TOO!!!

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

Considering that there are over 1 million foreign workers here, of which a demonstrated 200 thousand are foreigners from the USA, Europe and Australia, I say plenty enough.

Frankly, the old image of Singapore as a political dictatorship is passe. PM Goh has done a lot to change Singapore, the problem now lies in the details. Since Singaporeans are generally not as well informed about their own country as compared to other nationos citizens, its pretty much pointless to argue that Singaporeans should stand up and engage in civic discourse.

*Chuckles*... as a Singapore Citizen, I can understand where this leads to...

Another thing that crossed my mind now that i read this:

As a Biotechnology student, I also wonder if the Singapore Government's idea to push the development of Biotechnology will lead to advances like: Bacta for healing, Clone Troopers, etc.

Edit:

My take on some of the jokes and references:


2. All those stormtroopers in white ready to do the Emperor’s bidding.

4. Lots of inspiration from ah liens for alien hairstyles.

5. If they’re supporting A*Star, why not the Death Star too?

6. In the land of the AYE, PIE, CTE, CPF, LRT, LTA, MRT, etc, the people will have no trouble accepting names like C3P0 and R2D2.

The above are abbrevations of various government... facilities / amenities

7. Singapore is willing to produce an army of clones to extend my Empire.

The Country's low population base demands National Service to allow the country to have the potential to field a sufficient millitary.

Clones bred for war from birth could allevaite the problem by a bit, but... the Human Rights violations would get many people breathing down our necks.


9. Save a bundle on tricky costuming by asking Moses Lim to play Jabba the Hutt.

A local Singapore actor who is Overweight.


11. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with Jack Neo on a project: “Death Star No Enough”.

Obviously, a poke at a local Director's movie: Money no Enough, which shows a tongue in cheek take on everyday Singapore Life (Within... acceptable limits, of course).


12. The EDB kept waving their hands in front of my face and repeating, “You will relocate to Singapore.”

Foriegn investment. Singapore has always tried to garner / woo foriegn investors to invest in the Country.

I like the Mind Trick reference here. That would be nice, but will be a violation of Human Rights as well.

Danny Bhoy wrote:

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

It's all relative, I guess. There are shitholes in the US that I wouldn't go to, but they don't even have the redeeming factors of Singapore. Best range of cuisines in the world I reckon, rivalled perhaps surpassed only by Malaysia. Pretty decent shopping. Clean and green-ish. Fairly low crime. Compulsory 2.5 years of visiting the region at government expense for able-bodied males (well some anyway). Some people actually do like that sort of thing.

Die.

Conscription is a vile form of governmental coercion, and a waste of the most promising years of a young man's life. My time was unmitigated suffering, and it is the No 1. reason why I have left that shithole (you are spot-on, Primus), though not the only one.

Dozens of young Singaporeans have lost their lives needlessly as a result of it, and you list it as a "redeeming factor". Brilliant.

Xisiqomelir wrote:

Danny Bhoy wrote:

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Who'd want to go to an authoritarian, paternalistic shithole like Signapore?

It's all relative, I guess. There are shitholes in the US that I wouldn't go to, but they don't even have the redeeming factors of Singapore. Best range of cuisines in the world I reckon, rivalled perhaps surpassed only by Malaysia. Pretty decent shopping. Clean and green-ish. Fairly low crime. Compulsory 2.5 years of visiting the region at government expense for able-bodied males (well some anyway). Some people actually do like that sort of thing.

Die.

Conscription is a vile form of governmental coercion, and a waste of the most promising years of a young man's life. My time was unmitigated suffering, and it is the No 1. reason why I have left that shithole (you are spot-on, Primus), though not the only one.

Dozens of young Singaporeans have lost their lives needlessly as a result of it, and you list it as a "redeeming factor". Brilliant.

Perhaps this should go to OT.

The inherent flaws of conscription (both from a moral and effectiveness POV) are well-known but in the Singapore example...

Unmitigated suffering? That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it? People I know who've been in supposedly tough training in S'pore special forces or air-assault units, while recognising the difficulty of their training didn't consider it "unmitigated suffering". And let's face it, conscripts all over the world to a large degree know how to shirk and malinger if it gets unbearable.

Whatever the faults of the S'pore MINDEF and SAF, it is nowhere like the Soviet/Russian model where the Fourthclassmen beat up the third who beat up the second who beat up the first, or where you get posted to some real shithole like Novaya Zemlya having to eat fish everyday for two freaking years. From reading a year's subscription of Pioneer magazine, one would even argue with a fair bit of justification that SAF conscripts are mollycoddled compared to US Army conscripts in the 50s and 60s (and I'm not even talking about Viet Nam, or conscripts slaving in real shithole militaries). Sure you have your occasional (and genuine) sob-stories of national servicemen who were in financial difficulty (sole family breadwinner etc.) trying to make ends meet on national service "allowance" and that the system should have found a way to relieve/ameliorate their burden, but by and large the Singapore conscription is an example of making the best out of a less-than optimum situation.

Many/most S'porean males while they may not prefer to have done national service given the choice, obviously do not regret it and many/most do reminisce about their time in uniform. More than a few I know fondly recall dead-end but generous company commanders who brought them to whorehouses and got them "volume discounts" be it in Patpong or Geylang or Kaoshiung.

As for casualties in training, unfortunate and tragic as they are, are pretty much inevitable in military training. Yes, of course it is worse if one was a conscript instead of a volunteer, but what's the alternative? How would a purely volunteer Singapore military be a credible alternative to a conscript-based one? I suppose one could argue that Singapore should rely on its neighbours for its defence, a la New Zealand and to a lesser extent Canada, but I would hesitate comparing Singapore's geopolitical position with either of the two Dominions.

Danny Bhoy wrote:

Xisiqomelir wrote:

Danny Bhoy wrote: It's all relative, I guess. There are shitholes in the US that I wouldn't go to, but they don't even have the redeeming factors of Singapore. Best range of cuisines in the world I reckon, rivalled perhaps surpassed only by Malaysia. Pretty decent shopping. Clean and green-ish. Fairly low crime. Compulsory 2.5 years of visiting the region at government expense for able-bodied males (well some anyway). Some people actually do like that sort of thing.

Die.

Conscription is a vile form of governmental coercion, and a waste of the most promising years of a young man's life. My time was unmitigated suffering, and it is the No 1. reason why I have left that shithole (you are spot-on, Primus), though not the only one.

Dozens of young Singaporeans have lost their lives needlessly as a result of it, and you list it as a "redeeming factor". Brilliant.

Perhaps this should go to OT.

The inherent flaws of conscription (both from a moral and effectiveness POV) are well-known but in the Singapore example...

Unmitigated suffering? That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it? People I know who've been in supposedly tough training in S'pore special forces or air-assault units, while recognising the difficulty of their training didn't consider it "unmitigated suffering". And let's face it, conscripts all over the world to a large degree know how to shirk and malinger if it gets unbearable.

Whatever the faults of the S'pore MINDEF and SAF, it is nowhere like the Soviet/Russian model where the Fourthclassmen beat up the third who beat up the second who beat up the first, or where you get posted to some real shithole like Novaya Zemlya having to eat fish everyday for two freaking years. From reading a year's subscription of Pioneer magazine, one would even argue with a fair bit of justification that SAF conscripts are mollycoddled compared to US Army conscripts in the 50s and 60s (and I'm not even talking about Viet Nam, or conscripts slaving in real shithole militaries). Sure you have your occasional (and genuine) sob-stories of national servicemen who were in financial difficulty (sole family breadwinner etc.) trying to make ends meet on national service "allowance" and that the system should have found a way to relieve/ameliorate their burden, but by and large the Singapore conscription is an example of making the best out of a less-than optimum situation.

Many/most S'porean males while they may not prefer to have done national service given the choice, obviously do not regret it and many/most do reminisce about their time in uniform. More than a few I know fondly recall dead-end but generous company commanders who brought them to whorehouses and got them "volume discounts" be it in Patpong or Geylang or Kaoshiung.

As for casualties in training, unfortunate and tragic as they are, are pretty much inevitable in military training. Yes, of course it is worse if one was a conscript instead of a volunteer, but what's the alternative? How would a purely volunteer Singapore military be a credible alternative to a conscript-based one? I suppose one could argue that Singapore should rely on its neighbours for its defence, a la New Zealand and to a lesser extent Canada, but I would hesitate comparing Singapore's geopolitical position with either of the two Dominions.

Have you ever been conscripted, yes or no?

Danny Bhoy wrote:
As for casualties in training, unfortunate and tragic as they are, are pretty much inevitable in military training. Yes, of course it is worse if one was a conscript instead of a volunteer, but what's the alternative? How would a purely volunteer Singapore military be a credible alternative to a conscript-based one? I suppose one could argue that Singapore should rely on its neighbours for its defence, a la New Zealand and to a lesser extent Canada, but I would hesitate comparing Singapore's geopolitical position with either of the two Dominions.

With out going into details about the costs/benifits of conscription, just when does NZ rely on anyone for its defence? and defence from what? Fiji perhaps? or Western Samoan dole bludgers ?
Btw, NZ and Canada have not been Dominions for quite some time: Canada since about 1937 and NZ, formally, since 1947.

[quote="Xisiqomelir] Have you ever been conscripted, yes or no?[/quote]

ROD'd June 1994. 'A' VRT. Nevermind that I was PES E and there were S-1 clerks who had higher PES levels than mine, but it didn't stop CPC from assigning me a vocation involving changing tracks in the sun in halcyon Sungei Gedong or recovering M113s in SWBTA. But hey, at least I could drive to work...

And yes, I had one of those condemned but generous OCs who didn't mind using his regular status (with the mama-san/papa-san that is, not in the SAF) to get a volume discount for his lads.

Of course, I enjoyed NS. Not that I would eagerly do it again if I had to relive my life, but certainly no regrets and some good memories. After all, few BA (Hons) grads can claim that they have an NTC-2 cert (equivalent) in Automotive and Diesel Plant Mechanics. Something worth more to me than even my yoonie degrees.