Star Wars/Pulp Fiction
Posted: 2005-05-29 08:01am
I’ve been fidling around with these since about a week ago in the chat.
Obi Won We should have clone troopers for this kind of deal.
Anakin: How many up there?
Obi Won: Three or four.
Anakin: That's countin' our droid?
Obi Won: Not sure.
Anakin: So that means there could be up to five droids up there?
Obi Won: It's possible.
Anakin: We should have fuckin' clone troopers.
Mace: What does Master Yoda look like?
Dooku: What?
Mace: What planet you from?
Dooku: What?
Mace: What ain't no planet I ever heard of! They speak Basic in What?
Dooku: What?
Mace: BASIC, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Dooku: Yes!
Mace: Then you know what I'm saying!
Dooku: Yes!
Mace: Describe what Master Yoda looks like!
Dooku: What, I-?
Mace: Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
Dooku: He's g g green
Mace: Go on.
Dooku: He's fuzzy...
Mace: Does he look like a bitch?
Dooku: What?
Mace: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Dooku: No!
Mace: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Dooku?
Dooku: I didn't.
Mace: Yes you did. Yes you did, Dooku. You tried to fuck him. And Master Yoda don't like to be fucked by anybody.
Ben: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Tatooine pit of hell together. Hopefully... you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Anakin would be talkin' right now to my son. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Luke. I got somethin' for you.
This light saber was on your Daddy's belt when he was shot down over Courasant. He was captured, put in a droid prison camp. He knew if the droids ever saw the light saber it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that light saber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any machines were gonna put their greasy metal hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he had that light saber shoved up his ass. Then he died of a combination dysentery and disembowelment when he put his underwear on backwards., he gave me the light saber. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to the temple. And now, little man, I give the light saber to you.
No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Gungan Storage?
'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead gungans ain't my fucking business, that's why!
You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's the force FUCKIN' with you! You gotta fight through that shit!
MrCoffee1976: "I'm goinna call me some Tuskin Raiders and we're gonna go all Hutt on yo' ass..."
I'm prepared to scour the galaxy for that motherfucker. If Solo goes to tatooine I want a Bounty hunter waiting behind a jawa ready to pop a cap in his ass.
Who's ship is this?
It's Vader's
Who's Vader?
Vaders dead baby, vaders dead
You ain't got no problem, viceroy. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for Maul who should be coming directly.
Bring out the wookie
but the wookies sleeping
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wake him up now wont you
Yoda: know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese do you?
Mace: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Yoda: not know what a quarter pound is, metric system they have
Mace: Then what do they call it?
Yoda: Royale with cheese call it they do.
Obi Won We should have clone troopers for this kind of deal.
Anakin: How many up there?
Obi Won: Three or four.
Anakin: That's countin' our droid?
Obi Won: Not sure.
Anakin: So that means there could be up to five droids up there?
Obi Won: It's possible.
Anakin: We should have fuckin' clone troopers.
Mace: What does Master Yoda look like?
Dooku: What?
Mace: What planet you from?
Dooku: What?
Mace: What ain't no planet I ever heard of! They speak Basic in What?
Dooku: What?
Mace: BASIC, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Dooku: Yes!
Mace: Then you know what I'm saying!
Dooku: Yes!
Mace: Describe what Master Yoda looks like!
Dooku: What, I-?
Mace: Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
Dooku: He's g g green
Mace: Go on.
Dooku: He's fuzzy...
Mace: Does he look like a bitch?
Dooku: What?
Mace: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Dooku: No!
Mace: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Dooku?
Dooku: I didn't.
Mace: Yes you did. Yes you did, Dooku. You tried to fuck him. And Master Yoda don't like to be fucked by anybody.
Ben: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Tatooine pit of hell together. Hopefully... you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Anakin would be talkin' right now to my son. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Luke. I got somethin' for you.
This light saber was on your Daddy's belt when he was shot down over Courasant. He was captured, put in a droid prison camp. He knew if the droids ever saw the light saber it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that light saber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any machines were gonna put their greasy metal hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he had that light saber shoved up his ass. Then he died of a combination dysentery and disembowelment when he put his underwear on backwards., he gave me the light saber. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to the temple. And now, little man, I give the light saber to you.
No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Gungan Storage?
'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead gungans ain't my fucking business, that's why!
You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's the force FUCKIN' with you! You gotta fight through that shit!
MrCoffee1976: "I'm goinna call me some Tuskin Raiders and we're gonna go all Hutt on yo' ass..."
I'm prepared to scour the galaxy for that motherfucker. If Solo goes to tatooine I want a Bounty hunter waiting behind a jawa ready to pop a cap in his ass.
Who's ship is this?
It's Vader's
Who's Vader?
Vaders dead baby, vaders dead
You ain't got no problem, viceroy. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for Maul who should be coming directly.
Bring out the wookie
but the wookies sleeping
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wake him up now wont you
Yoda: know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese do you?
Mace: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Yoda: not know what a quarter pound is, metric system they have
Mace: Then what do they call it?
Yoda: Royale with cheese call it they do.
