Skywalker Ranch, CA - George Lucas announced today that the Star Wars franchise are my movies and "not the fans."
Unknown to the fan community at large until today's announcement, Lucas has been implementing a strategy to keep his properties his even after his death.
"It's all being buried with me," Lucas told reporters. "All copies of the two trilogies will be brought to my gravesite within one month of my death and laid to rest with me."
Lucas went on to describe that throughout the making of the movies, he included clauses in each contract that authorize his agents to collect all of the original films and encase them in carbonite to be buried alongside him.
"After that only the VHS and DVD copies that people have purchased will be left," Lucas said. "That's not a problem, as each VHS copy has been encrypted to write commands to any VCR that tries to play them after a certain date to erase the tape. Any dubbed copies of these VHS tapes also contain the encryption. DVD copies of movies were easier to protect. After the same date, the DVDs simply won't play, and will come out as digital gibberish if people attempt to copy them after that date."
Fans were outraged. "This is so unfair," one Star Wars enthusiast said through his Clone Trooper helmet. "We bought these movies for, like, twenty bucks, and we should be able to watch them whenever we want! I'm not going to stop watching them just because Lucas is dead or something. That sucks."
"I don't know why the fans are so mad," Lucas said. "I've been saying all along that they are my movies. Wait until they find out that my merchandising contracts all have the same text in them. When they have to hand over all their Star Wars toys, models, framed pictures, clothes, cups, and everything else to be buried with me, then they'll really flip-out."
The legal date for the return of all Star Wars merchandise, and the programmed timestamp in the movies is given as May 14th, 2034, which is Lucas' 90th birthday. "I don't see living that long, but even if I do, people have had my stuff long enough by then," Lucas laughed.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
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-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
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Here's an idea for all of the stuff Lucas will be getting out of this deal:
Copies of the SW movies on VHS will be used as bricks in building GL a great pyramid for his tomb. Copies on DVD will be used for the top parts of it. Action figures will be placed around the site as guards.
Everything else will be placed in rooms within the structure, these will accompany him to the afterlife.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Gandalf wrote:Here's an idea for all of the stuff Lucas will be getting out of this deal:
Copies of the SW movies on VHS will be used as bricks in building GL a great pyramid for his tomb. Copies on DVD will be used for the top parts of it. Action figures will be placed around the site as guards.
Everything else will be placed in rooms within the structure, these will accompany him to the afterlife.
Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." -George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting." -Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
This article is clearly bullshit. The author doesn't even demonstrate a reasonable amount of knowledge of video hardware!
"After that only the VHS and DVD copies that people have purchased will be left," Lucas said. "That's not a problem, as each VHS copy has been encrypted to write commands to any VCR that tries to play them after a certain date to erase the tape. Any dubbed copies of these VHS tapes also contain the encryption. DVD copies of movies were easier to protect. After the same date, the DVDs simply won't play, and will come out as digital gibberish if people attempt to copy them after that date."
VHSs are ANALOGUE systems-- they CANNOT be programmed like that! Besides, you can defeat the date thing by resetting the date on the player, which is most easily done if you use a PC to watch DVDs, as I do.
Besides, I doubt Lucas is so stupid he'd actively try to DISCOURAGE people from BUYING SW MEDIA. The result would be millions of dollars lost in potential profits!
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Ghetto edit: Even if the VHS tapes have self-destruct systems, like the ones in 'Mission Impossible', what's stopping people from simply disassembling the tape to remove it? If you build countermeasures to stop people from removing the self-destruct system, the tapes would cost too much to be profitable.
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit.
No shit Sherlock
"The ones they built at the height of nuclear weapons could knock the earth out of its orbit" - Physics expert Envy in reference to the hydrogen bombs built during the cold war.
Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit.
Of course it's bullshit. The whole website is satire.
I would have thought this little passage would have been enough.
Lucas went on to describe that throughout the making of the movies, he included clauses in each contract that authorize his agents to collect all of the original films and encase them in carbonite to be buried alongside him.
Slightly over 28 years for people to get around the counter-measures. I think George Lucas is underestimating the lengths people will go to watch something if someone else is telling them not to. That, and he lacks immagination (must have drained away while writing Star Wars). He should make it so that his tomb is buried in the moon underneath a giant Imperial Logo.
Completely off topic:
Where is the image that Rightous Fist Of Heaven's signature is based on? I know that I have seen a full size version without the funny caption, and I absolutely must have it!
Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. -President John F. Kennedy
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
I wonder how fast the Urn is spinning right now?
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That was disapointing ..Should we show this Federation how to build a ship so we may have worthy foes? Typhonis 1
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Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Dude, i'm fucking kidding.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." -George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting." -Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Dude, i'm fucking kidding.
I knew that. I was just making commentary.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. -President John F. Kennedy
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Right. What we really need is to incorporate the merchandise into a giant battlestation with enough firepower to destroy a planet. It'd take care of the whole "memory" bit that neoolong mentioned, too.
"Stop! No one can survive these deadly rays!"
"These deadly rays will be your death!"
- Thor and Akton, Starcrash
"Before man reaches the moon your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to England, to India or to Australia by guided missiles.... We stand on the threshold of rocket mail."
- Arthur Summerfield, US Postmaster General 1953 - 1961
Adrian Laguna wrote:
Completely off topic:
Where is the image that Rightous Fist Of Heaven's signature is based on? I know that I have seen a full size version without the funny caption, and I absolutely must have it!
You mean this?
There are some credits at the bottom of the image, but otherwise I don't know who made it.
havokeff wrote:Uh... are those Destroyers blowing up Africa?
The picture's come up before and been discussed-- I think the general consensus is that it's just a plain ol' Earth-type planet.
EDIT: Actually, I took a closer look. It appears that whoever made the pic *did* use Earth as a base, but he added a few coastline tweaks and threw in some lakes and stuff. There's certainly a resemblance to Africa, but it's been extensively modified.
Last edited by Elheru Aran on 2005-09-09 02:05pm, edited 1 time in total.
There are some credits at the bottom of the image, but otherwise I don't know who made it.
That's it exactly, thank you very much. Now all I need is the name of the website where it comes from (it has lots and lots of other cool SW images IIRC) and my happiness would be total.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. -President John F. Kennedy
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
