Page 1 of 2
Lucas And Star Wars Legality
Posted: 2005-09-08 05:11am
by DPDarkPrimus
Skywalker Ranch, CA - George Lucas announced today that the Star Wars franchise are my movies and "not the fans."
Unknown to the fan community at large until today's announcement, Lucas has been implementing a strategy to keep his properties his even after his death.
"It's all being buried with me," Lucas told reporters. "All copies of the two trilogies will be brought to my gravesite within one month of my death and laid to rest with me."
Lucas went on to describe that throughout the making of the movies, he included clauses in each contract that authorize his agents to collect all of the original films and encase them in carbonite to be buried alongside him.
"After that only the VHS and DVD copies that people have purchased will be left," Lucas said. "That's not a problem, as each VHS copy has been encrypted to write commands to any VCR that tries to play them after a certain date to erase the tape. Any dubbed copies of these VHS tapes also contain the encryption. DVD copies of movies were easier to protect. After the same date, the DVDs simply won't play, and will come out as digital gibberish if people attempt to copy them after that date."
Fans were outraged. "This is so unfair," one Star Wars enthusiast said through his Clone Trooper helmet. "We bought these movies for, like, twenty bucks, and we should be able to watch them whenever we want! I'm not going to stop watching them just because Lucas is dead or something. That sucks."
"I don't know why the fans are so mad," Lucas said. "I've been saying all along that they are my movies. Wait until they find out that my merchandising contracts all have the same text in them. When they have to hand over all their Star Wars toys, models, framed pictures, clothes, cups, and everything else to be buried with me, then they'll really flip-out."
The legal date for the return of all Star Wars merchandise, and the programmed timestamp in the movies is given as May 14th, 2034, which is Lucas' 90th birthday. "I don't see living that long, but even if I do, people have had my stuff long enough by then," Lucas laughed.
Source
Not from the Onion, honest!
Posted: 2005-09-08 05:19am
by Mr Bean
Good old bbspot
Posted: 2005-09-08 06:48am
by Gandalf
Here's an idea for all of the stuff Lucas will be getting out of this deal:
Copies of the SW movies on VHS will be used as bricks in building GL a great pyramid for his tomb. Copies on DVD will be used for the top parts of it. Action figures will be placed around the site as guards.
Everything else will be placed in rooms within the structure, these will accompany him to the afterlife.
Posted: 2005-09-08 07:34am
by Darth Fanboy
Gandalf wrote:Here's an idea for all of the stuff Lucas will be getting out of this deal:
Copies of the SW movies on VHS will be used as bricks in building GL a great pyramid for his tomb. Copies on DVD will be used for the top parts of it. Action figures will be placed around the site as guards.
Everything else will be placed in rooms within the structure, these will accompany him to the afterlife.
Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Posted: 2005-09-08 10:11am
by Kurgan
CANON!!
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:05pm
by Sidewinder
This article is clearly bullshit. The author doesn't even demonstrate a reasonable amount of knowledge of video hardware!
"After that only the VHS and DVD copies that people have purchased will be left," Lucas said. "That's not a problem, as each VHS copy has been encrypted to write commands to any VCR that tries to play them after a certain date to erase the tape. Any dubbed copies of these VHS tapes also contain the encryption. DVD copies of movies were easier to protect. After the same date, the DVDs simply won't play, and will come out as digital gibberish if people attempt to copy them after that date."
VHSs are ANALOGUE systems-- they CANNOT be programmed like that! Besides, you can defeat the date thing by resetting the date on the player, which is most easily done if you use a PC to watch DVDs, as I do.
Besides, I doubt Lucas is so stupid he'd actively try to DISCOURAGE people from BUYING SW MEDIA. The result would be millions of dollars lost in potential profits!
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:07pm
by Sidewinder
Ghetto edit: Even if the VHS tapes have self-destruct systems, like the ones in 'Mission Impossible', what's stopping people from simply disassembling the tape to remove it? If you build countermeasures to stop people from removing the self-destruct system, the tapes would cost too much to be profitable.
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:17pm
by Rightous Fist Of Heaven
Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit.
No shit Sherlock
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:20pm
by neoolong
He's forgetting that he has to erase the memories that everyone who watched the movies have of them.
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:27pm
by Manus Celer Dei
Kurgan wrote:CANON!!
What?
Posted: 2005-09-08 01:29pm
by Spanky The Dolphin
Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit.
Of course it's bullshit. The whole website is satire.
Posted: 2005-09-08 03:33pm
by Noble Ire
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit.
Of course it's bullshit. The whole website is satire.
I would have thought this little passage would have been enough.
Lucas went on to describe that throughout the making of the movies, he included clauses in each contract that authorize his agents to collect all of the original films and encase them in carbonite to be buried alongside him.
Posted: 2005-09-08 04:16pm
by Adrian Laguna
Slightly over 28 years for people to get around the counter-measures. I think George Lucas is underestimating the lengths people will go to watch something if someone else is telling them not to. That, and he lacks immagination (must have drained away while writing Star Wars). He should make it so that his tomb is buried in the moon underneath a giant Imperial Logo.
Completely off topic:
Where is the image that Rightous Fist Of Heaven's signature is based on? I know that I have seen a full size version without the funny caption, and I absolutely must have it!
Posted: 2005-09-08 05:07pm
by Lord Sabre Ace
Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Posted: 2005-09-08 06:20pm
by Havok
Sidewinder wrote:This article is clearly bullshit. The author doesn't even demonstrate a reasonable amount of knowledge of video hardware!
WHOOOSH!!!
HOLY CRAP!!! WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?
Nothing Sidewinder. Just some satire flying over your head.
Posted: 2005-09-08 07:16pm
by Isolder74
Lord Sabre Ace wrote:Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
I wonder how fast the Urn is spinning right now?
Posted: 2005-09-08 07:28pm
by Darth Fanboy
Lord Sabre Ace wrote:Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Dude, i'm fucking kidding.
Posted: 2005-09-08 08:15pm
by Lord Sabre Ace
Darth Fanboy wrote:Lord Sabre Ace wrote:Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Dude, i'm fucking kidding.
I knew that. I was just making commentary.
Posted: 2005-09-08 08:53pm
by Drooling Iguana
Lord Sabre Ace wrote:Darth Fanboy wrote:Why stop at a pyramid? Obviously we must construct a wedge shaped craft to carry His remains amongst the stars!
Too trekkie. That's what Gene Roddenbery did with his remains.
Right. What we really need is to incorporate the merchandise into a giant battlestation with enough firepower to destroy a planet. It'd take care of the whole "memory" bit that neoolong mentioned, too.
Posted: 2005-09-09 12:33am
by Comosicus
Adrian Laguna wrote:
Completely off topic:
Where is the image that Rightous Fist Of Heaven's signature is based on? I know that I have seen a full size version without the funny caption, and I absolutely must have it!
You mean this?
There are some credits at the bottom of the image, but otherwise I don't know who made it.
Posted: 2005-09-09 01:28am
by Havok
Uh... are those Destroyers blowing up Africa?
Posted: 2005-09-09 12:47pm
by Elheru Aran
havokeff wrote:Uh... are those Destroyers blowing up Africa?
The picture's come up before and been discussed-- I think the general consensus is that it's just a plain ol' Earth-type planet.
EDIT: Actually, I took a closer look. It appears that whoever made the pic *did* use Earth as a base, but he added a few coastline tweaks and threw in some lakes and stuff. There's certainly a resemblance to Africa, but it's been extensively modified.
Posted: 2005-09-09 01:55pm
by Lord Pounder
havokeff wrote:Uh... are those Destroyers blowing up Africa?
It's as good a place as any to start i supose.
Posted: 2005-09-09 03:48pm
by Adrian Laguna
Comosicus wrote:You mean this?
There are some credits at the bottom of the image, but otherwise I don't know who made it.
That's it exactly, thank you very much. Now all I need is the name of the website where it comes from (it has lots and lots of other cool SW images IIRC) and my happiness would be total.
Posted: 2005-09-09 06:20pm
by Lord Sabre Ace
