StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Have we done one of these? I don't recall. Here's a few to get started...

TAKE A SIP IF...

*Characters from the movies don't act like themselves
*Luke makes a stupid decision
*Luke ignites his lightsaber with a snap-hiss
*Luke stretches out to the Force
*Luke lifts R2-D2 not knowing about the latter's leg rockets
*Wedge Antilles suits actions to words
*Stars burst into starlines
*An incompetent Imperial commander makes a critical blunder
*Kevin J. Anderson assrapes a character or plotline

TAKE A DRINK IF...

*Wedge gets sent on an Intelligence mission
*Someone says something dryly
*Luke portrays abilities never seen before
*An insanely powerful Jedi threatens the galaxy

CHUG YOUR WHOLE DRINK DOWN IF...

*Grand Admiral Thrawn makes a gigantic leap of logic
*Grand Admiral Thrawn makes a mistake
*Tim Zahn completely retcons several books worth of lame, stupid plotlines in a masterfully-weaved tapestry of logic

*An insanely powerful Jedi threatens the galaxy

Or Sith or warlord

One should also take a drink if:

The Evil Overlord has spent lots of time on finding the one thing that will make Luke's abilities with the Force useless in solving the Galaxy-threatening plot.

DEATH wrote:

*An insanely powerful Jedi threatens the galaxy

Or Sith or warlord

Or a previously unheard of superweapon that the Empire had kept in storage.

Manus Celer Dei wrote:

DEATH wrote:

*An insanely powerful Jedi threatens the galaxy

Or Sith or warlord

Or a previously unheard of superweapon that the Empire had kept in storage.

I have this wonderful image in my head of the emperor having a yard sale...

Keevan_Colton wrote:

Manus Celer Dei wrote:

DEATH wrote: Or Sith or warlord

Or a previously unheard of superweapon that the Empire had kept in storage.

I have this wonderful image in my head of the emperor having a yard sale...

*dusts off the Sun Crusher and puts a little $1 sticker on it*

TAKE A SIP IF:
The rebels win a battle they never would be able to win
Somebody says "I got a bad feeling about this"
Han Solo thinks or says anything bad about C3P0
There is no reference to the Clone Wars

CHUG YOUR WHOLE DRINK DOWN IF...
A Rebel Officer defects or is charged with Treason
Borsk Feyla does not appear as a evil moron
The Empire does not have a genius in command or a secret superweapon
Somebody mentions a Dark Jedi Rebellion

Kinda hard to do a drinking game with a book, you know.

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Kinda hard to do a drinking game with a book, you know.

Not at all. You pass out and forget where you were so the game is always new!

TAKE A SIP IF:
Han has a nostalgic memory
Leia mentions remembering her mother
Lando flirts
Mara has a flashback to her time as the Emperor's Hand

Chug your whole drink down if: A major fleet battle involves less than a dozen capital ships.

Take a sip if: a large dangerous imperial taskforce capable of endangering the galaxy is less than 5 ships. (Such as 4 obsolete ISD's from the maw )

Chug your whole drink, then another four or five, if the author is Kevin J Anderson. It'll be less painful that way.

Ford Prefect wrote:Chug your whole drink, then another four or five, if the author is Kevin J Anderson. It'll be less painful that way.

Or if a stackpole book has a X-wing or fighter taking down a large ships hsields with multiple co-ordinated torpedos

Take a sip if:

- The New Republic Defense Force, instead of sending a huge fleet with enough firepower to crack open a planet, sends a 'taskforce' that it has to scrape the bottom of the barrel to put together.

- The Empire which said NRDF is supposed to have eliminated by now as a serious contender for title of 'Ruler of the Galaxy' makes a play for Galactic domination....somehow....again.

- The New Republic faces an Extra-Galactic invasion and instead of responding, simply cuts off all news of the event and pretends it isn't happening, until the enemy fleet reaches the expansion region. And THEN it starts debating a POLITICAL response.

Take a gulp if:

- Stormtroopers are revered as a horribly elite group of shock troops...then taken down with absurd ease by a bunch of flyboys.

- A bunch of insects on a couple of planets somehow become a deadly threat to the Galaxy...and the NR can't get any heavy ships to deal with the threat for WEEKS.
AND
- Take a second gulp if the book introduces some uber wanked out Sith with powers completely foreign to any Sith before.
AND
- Take a third gulp if said Sith is easily able to fight Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade Skywalker, the two most senior Jedi with decades of HTH combat experience against the 'outside the force' Vong, as well as absurd amounts of expereince against Dark Jedi, Sith and other general 'bad guys', to a standstill. Easily.

Hook up an IV if:

- The New Republic responds to a military situation in a competent and rapid way that shows it is worthy to govern the Galaxy.

- The Empire is portrayed as a clearly benign and beneficial influence on a planet or region of space compared to the mess the OR made of it.

- Take a second gulp if the book introduces some uber wanked out Sith with powers completely foreign to any Sith before.
AND
- Take a third gulp if said Sith is easily able to fight Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade Skywalker, the two most senior Jedi with decades of HTH combat experience against the 'outside the force' Vong, as well as absurd amounts of expereince against Dark Jedi, Sith and other general 'bad guys', to a standstill. Easily.

The third Dark nest book is out? Or the "Way of the force" series has started?

Take a teeny tiny little sip every time Luke turns to the dark side.

TAKE A DRINK IF:
The bad guy is suave and smooth and utterly cruel - refined and still evil
The bad guy was once on the side of the forces of good
Luke is the only one who can do it - whatever "it" is


What's the new series after the NJO? And should I even bother to read NJO? I mean, it seemed pretty shitty, the little I read. And I know how the first half goes - up to star by star - from reading the NJO Sourcebook for the d20 rpg

TAKE A DRINK IF:
The Republic is in Danger.
A Jedi uses the force to his own ends, and nothing bad happens
A Planet has one climate all over.
A New Type of Starfighter Is Introduced
X Is the Only Place Material Y Comes From
Barring Masassi Temples, A New Hope and the new Jedi Academy, something happens on Yavin 4. Likewise for Hoth, Endor, or other known planets.
A Jedi Has a Lightsaber That Isn't Red, Green, Blue, or Purple.
An Imperial does something senselessly cruel and to his own detriment just for kicks.
A ridiculously small number is given for ships or troops.

TAKE 2 DRINKS IF:
A New Technology Is Invented
Said New Starfighter Is Better Than All Others
Said Jedi Lightsaber is some weird noncolor like Molten Amber or Cloudy Silver.
Somebody screams "Nooooooo!"
A new way of stopping the force is introduced (Vong count).
Somebody talks of ridiculously small numbers of troops or ships as if it was big.

DRINK THE WHOLE THING IF:
A plucky band of rebels defeats a huge Imperial fleet against impossible odds.
A superweapon explodes. Take an extra sip from the next if it's by Starfighter Attack.

CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG:
The good guys lose.

DRINK WHENEVER:

A line is repeated from the movies (other than "I have a bad feeling about this" or "Noooo!").

DRINK TWICE IF:

Above line is said by a different character than in the movie.

DRINK WHENEVER:

Something is introduced and compared to something from the movie (such as "rivalling" or "superior to" or "even more powerful than"). If done in a disparaging way to the original entity, drink again, heavily.

Movie characters are beaten or rescued by EU characters. Twice if the new characters were introduced in this book!

BURP WHENEVER:

Mara Jade's (or other female love interest to a main character's) hair is described in more than one word.

Unnecessary apostrophes are added to somebody's name or the name of a planet to give it a more "exotic" feel.

Some deus machina saves the heroes from certain defeat. Belch twice if it's due to some unbeforeknown force power or force artifact.

A lightsaber blade "breaks."

A lightsaber blade "breaks."

When has that ever happened? I know pure cortosis disrupts the blade, but how does one "break" it?

It's happened a few times actually... but I'm too lazy to look up exactly which books it occurs in. I think it was by KJA...

Noble Ire wrote:

A lightsaber blade "breaks."

When has that ever happened? I know pure cortosis disrupts the blade, but how does one "break" it?

IIRC, it occured in Jedi Search. Luke breaks his blade against the scales of some sort of lava dwelling dragon.

Gandalf wrote:

Noble Ire wrote:

A lightsaber blade "breaks."

When has that ever happened? I know pure cortosis disrupts the blade, but how does one "break" it?

IIRC, it occured in Jedi Search. Luke breaks his blade against the scales of some sort of lava dwelling dragon.

Does Cortosis ore count?

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Kinda hard to do a drinking game with a book, you know.

Audio Books don't exist in Iowa?

Lord Pounder wrote:

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Kinda hard to do a drinking game with a book, you know.

Audio Books don't exist in Iowa?

Most people listen to audio books in the car. We have enough drunk driving fatalities as it is!