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Hey, has anyone else seen the cut scenes? Here is a transcript...

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!

Luke: No. It can't be. That's not true. That's impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke... you know them to be true.

Luke: NOOoooo!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! ... Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: But... I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Nobody loved me... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... the Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

LOL!!!!!!!! Welcome to SD.net.
(Pokes with a stick.)
(Starts giggling crazily.)
(Briefly stops and puts down stick.)
...official SD.net newbie policy, you see....
(Walks away.)

ROTFLMAO

*stunned*



Welcome aboard dude!!!

For that i'll refrain from the *Pounder Poke*

Old, but still funny

Welcome to SD.net.

It's been done. Check the ASVS archives. Still, you got off on the right foot. Oh, and I'll poke you once I get this drill going.

So old.

ROFL. I like it.

Here's one I saw in MAD magazine:

Vader: I am your mother, Luke.

Luke: I don't believe it.

Vader: I am! Now, come down off that weather vane before you catch a cold! And please stop waving that lightsaber around, you'll poke someone's eye out!

Luke: Mom!

It would be even funnier if Lucas decided to add this little bit of joke material to the official canon. Not only would it be in his style to rewrite history, it would be funny too! And hearing darth vader go "Right here baby!" would be worth whatever money it cost to get the new special edition 2 made :p

Saw it in a chain e-mail four years ago.

That was funny.

"I'm the only human who can podrace"
(crash)
"But did I ever say I was good at it?"

About that, I have actually heard that Darth Vader originally said "Obi-Wan is your father" and they later dubbed it over to "I am your father."

Yeah, there's the rumor that that was done before the film's release, in order to throw off spies... kind of like the whole "Blue Harvest" fake ad campaign.

Of course all of Vader's lines were redubbed (from David Prowse saying them to James Earl Jones) in every movie, so it wouldn't have been hard to do.