Twilight eclipse

[CaptHawkeye]

Oh definitely. My point is that a lot of fanboys often look at other fanboys and accuse them of being...well...fanboys.

Pot, kettle, black.

[General Zod]

I think most peoples issue is the fan whores and their ridiculous behavior, rather than the shitty films themselves.

The problem is that Stephanie Meyer completely neuters the vampire myth. You might as well take zombies and turn them into fucking vegetarians, it just doesn't work when you expect people to take it seriously.

[JLTucker]

There's a fight scene in Transformers that I would say is JAWESOME. Single handed scenes of coolness do little to improve the overall quality of the movie to me. That's why I hated 300.

This applies to me as well. That scene in Eclipse still doesn't make up for terrible acting and dialogue. Jacob's "you love me but you just won't admit it" shtick became annoying as hell and I just know that some people in the audience ate it up. An acquaintance who saw the movie with my friends and I said she likes the romance. I didn't question her because I didn't want to get into it.

[Temujin]

The problem is that Stephanie Meyer completely neuters the vampire myth. You might as well take zombies and turn them into fucking vegetarians, it just doesn't work when you expect people to take it seriously.

True, I have enough of a dislike of Anne Rice's angsty vampires. Luckily I've isolated myself as much as possible from the Twilight franchise ever since i first heard the discussion here about sparkly vampires.

[Nephtys]

The problem is that Stephanie Meyer completely neuters the vampire myth. You might as well take zombies and turn them into fucking vegetarians, it just doesn't work when you expect people to take it seriously.

True, I have enough of a dislike of Anne Rice's angsty vampires. Luckily I've isolated myself as much as possible from the Twilight franchise ever since i first heard the discussion here about sparkly vampires.

Let's be entirely fair though. The books aren't only about sparkly mormons. It's an eternal story that resonates with everyone. It's the struggle of an adolescent girl in the tough, mundane modern world. That, and choosing between necrophilia or bestiality.

[Temujin]

Let's be entirely fair though. The books aren't only about sparkly mormons. It's an eternal story that resonates with everyone. It's the struggle of an adolescent girl in the tough, mundane modern world. That, and choosing between necrophilia or bestiality.

That's fucking brilliant! And getting sigged.

[adam_grif]

There's been a "New Moon: The story of one girl's choice between Beastiality and Necrophilia" group on face-book for aeons.

[Temujin]

Well, just like Twilight, I generally have avoided the MySpaces and such. I only just recently joined Facebook, and only to reconnect with some people who I had since fallen out of contact with, but came across their profile.

[Guardsman Bass]

I saw yesterday evening. It's actually much better than New Moon (which was a gigantic fucking snoozer). The most interesting character is one that's not part of the Love Triangle nor the Cullen Family.

[Manus Celer Dei]

I think most peoples issue is the fan whores and their ridiculous behavior, rather than the shitty films themselves.

The problem is that Stephanie Meyer completely neuters the vampire myth. You might as well take zombies and turn them into fucking vegetarians, it just doesn't work when you expect people to take it seriously.

An outbreak of vegetarian zombies could feasibly decimate the worldwide food supply. Or cause zombie cabbage, and that's an even better idea for a film

THIS SUMMER

EAT YOUR VEGETABLES

OR THEY'LL EAT YOU

[JME2]

I just had an amusing thought. I'd watch the films if James Marsters AKA Spike from BTVS, provided commentary like he did in one of Angel's early episodes...

[J]

An outbreak of vegetarian zombies could feasibly decimate the worldwide food supply. Or cause zombie cabbage, and that's an even better idea for a film

THIS SUMMER

EAT YOUR VEGETABLES

OR THEY'LL EAT YOU

It hasn't been made into a movie yet, but there's a childrens' book about it.
The Celery Stalks at Midnight

[lance]

Bunnicula was one of my favorites back in the day

[Xess]

Bunnicula was one of my favorites back in the day

Mine as well. I just loved those books.

[Rogue 9]

[Darksider]

why do people keep letting the wayans Brothers make movies?

[Ilya Muromets]

Don't you mean Seltzer and Friedberg?

The Wayans brothers are, at the very least, "meh" while Seltzer and Friedberg are wholly unoriginal and mind-meltingly asinine.

[Darksider]

I thought the Wayans brothers were the ones who kept making those shitty "movie" movies.


It's somebody else?

[chitoryu12]

I thought the Wayans brothers were the ones who kept making those shitty "movie" movies.


It's somebody else?

Nope, it's Seltzer & Friedberg.

Cracked did an article on them a while back, and one of their suggestions for a future movie by them was Vampire Movie. I guess they took comedy writers as a good source of suggestions?

[Silver Jedi]

To clarify, The Wayans brothers did the first couple of scary movies, which I thought were mildly amusing, while S&F brought us things like Meet the Spartans, Date Movie, and Epic Movie. The first review on IMDb of that turd begins "This thing won't let me vote below a 1 [star]..."

[Rogue 9]

Oh, I fully expect the movie to suck, but the trailer's hilarious. I'm certainly not going to go see it.

[Temujin]

As just a parody, the trailer is perfect comedy. The problem is, like with all these movies, there really is an actual film behind it. Someone not only actually sat down and thought: "boy, this will make a good film!" But enough morons that make up the population will go see it and hence provide enough money for them to make more of this shit. But then, plenty of people are going to see Twilight.

[Rogue 9]

Quite true, but the salient point is that the trailer is comedy gold; I didn't ask anyone to see the movie.

http://iheartvampir.es/

[Temujin]

Didn't comedy shows (like SNL, SCTV, ect.) use to produce parody previews for movies like that all the time?

[chitoryu12]

So, I just got back from seeing Eclipse. It was so bad that even my girlfriend, who liked the last two movies and has read every Twilight book multiple times (to the point where she could tell when a single scene was missing or out of place), doesn't want to see it again.

Aside from about four of the principle characters being able to act (and even then they were directed to all speak in quiet, choked monotones) and Taylor Lautner's abs being the only thing in the movie with any color, the dialogue was so laughably bad that we spent the entire movie MSTing it. I had Kelly hysterical in almost every scene.

I will admit, the huge fight scene that the trailers loved to show was actually very fun to watch. Of course, all of the brutality is lost when you realize that while vampires burn perfectly normally, they shatter like ice when struck with force. The running punch Jasper opens the fight with loses a lot of coolness when you see what looks like snow and ice flying in the air behind the severed head. And then you get just plain hilarious moments like Riley trying to hit a werewolf with the stump of his arm.