Hellblazer in Hellmouth

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-04-30 01:08am

Sometimes I think Zattanna must feel so used, she dresses like a call girl, and still sleeps with the guy who got her father killed....

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2005-04-30 03:43pm

Zatanna is probably the only girlfriend Constantine has who has a good chance of surviving her relationship with him. That's got to mean something to him. Plus, Constantine didn't directly kill her father, and he was trying to save the universe.

As for the way she dresses I see it like the Gandalf scenario. Why does Gandalf wear that stupid hat? Because he's fucking Gandalf and can kick the shit out of a fucking Balrog that's why! When you can do that you can wear whatever you damn well please.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2005-04-30 03:45pm

Tzeentch wrote:I kind of think that the two Constantines are really flip sides of the same coin - John is really good at manipulation, seducing women, screwing people/demons over, and getting out by the seat of his pants. On the other hand, however, he has a lot of trouble living a normal life, sustaining relationships, protecting people he loves. I love the very petty, very british nature of the smaller-scale arcs. When one man defeats demon kings and gods too often, it sometimes skirts character wanking.

I've been reading through hellblazer from the beginning (I'm well into Ennison's run right now), and my favorite storyline is The Family Man, which for some perverse reason has never been collected. You know how in Sandman, at the serial killer convention, the Family Man can't make it? That's because he's busy with Constantine. There's no magic in this story; no demons, no monsters. Just people, and the the things they do to each other. In some ways, Constantine is out of his league.

You make a very good point. I just get tired of getting the shit kicked out of him, getting drunk, and then winning through sheer stupid luck. I like it more when he's the man pulling the strings, when he triumphs through cleverness and his willingness to be a complete bastard.

Of course even when he was fighting the Ultimate Evil he won through luck, he never expected the Swamp Thing to simply talk to the Ultimate Evil.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2005-04-30 06:05pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Sometimes I think Zattanna must feel so used, she dresses like a call girl, and still sleeps with the guy who got her father killed....

Ummm a bit simplistic?

John was trying to save the universe as is and wasn't gunning for dear old dad.

And just because she wears what is considered a Vegas show costume is now a whore costume?

And Tzeentch has a good nugget of truth regardless of taste. John is a mizture of pulling shit out of the fire, but showing he destroys as much as he saves

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2005-04-30 06:25pm

Crom wrote:As for the way she dresses I see it like the Gandalf scenario. Why does Gandalf wear that stupid hat? Because he's fucking Gandalf and can kick the shit out of a fucking Balrog that's why! When you can do that you can wear whatever you damn well please.

I believe she wears it because it was what she wore when she was a magician performing on stage. It's tradition or something.

It's not like she wears it all the time.

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2005-04-30 09:46pm

Hmm...the scenario presented could only happen between seasons 1 and 3, or later, 5 through early 7.

Season 1-2:

With Giles around, it will probably go smoothly. He'd proabbly approach him with respect, and try and retrieve the artifact through normal means (trade or just buy it off him).

Season 3:

Something tells me that there would be filrtation with Faith...

Season 5:

Same as before, but with Warpath!Buffy. If he got fresh or became stubborn, she might just hit him a few times (if Giles couldn't hold her back).

Season 6-7:

With No Giles, things would likely go a lot differently with Willow or Anya doing the main procuring.

And now I'm thinking of how Anya would try and procure the artifact, and I'm all giggly.

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2005-05-01 02:19am

Majin Gojira wrote:Season 1-2:

With Giles around, it will probably go smoothly. He'd proabbly approach him with respect, and try and retrieve the artifact through normal means (trade or just buy it off him).

Both Giles and Constantine share an occult background full of things they'd rather forget. I would suspect that they could get along marginally well.

Season 3:

Something tells me that there would be filrtation with Faith...

Well, Constantine is kind of the ultimate bad boy. I think a Faith/Constantine team up would be good, especially since Constantine could always use a thug. Unfortunately if they got romantically involved things would turn to shit really fast. Neither are well adjusted.

Season 5:

Same as before, but with Warpath!Buffy. If he got fresh or became stubborn, she might just hit him a few times (if Giles couldn't hold her back).

Constantine can take quite a beating. That seems to be about half of Hellblazer. But since Buffy's one of the White Hats he probably won't screw her over. Much. Maybe direct her towards some looming threat while he wanders off with what he wants.

Season 6-7:

With No Giles, things would likely go a lot differently with Willow or Anya doing the main procuring.

And now I'm thinking of how Anya would try and procure the artifact, and I'm all giggly.

Without Constantine actually having a background in the Buffy-verse he might have a hard time. His street cred helps him out a lot in his universe. I can't imagine Willow or Anya having too much patience, especially later season Willow, for a cocky English bloke wandering up and asking for an artifact.