Would you marry with a deep one?

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-07-30 08:44pm

I read "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" a year ago and now I got to thinking. If you got the chance, would you get together with a Deep One? Sure, you're marrying a fish person hundreds of years older than you. But you're also marrying money and the kids will live forever. In the words of one child of a deep one, (spoilers)

The Shadow Over Innsmouth wrote: I shall plan my cousin's escape from that Canton mad-house, and together we shall go to marvel-shadowed Innsmouth. We shall swim out to that brooding reef in the sea and dive down through black abysses to Cyclopean and many-columned Y'ha-nthlei, and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory for ever.

So, would you do it? You will have ties to the oldest and most powerful society yet living, wealth beyond your wildest dreams, and your children will live forever. On the other hand, you have to make love to a deep one and you might be aiding the destruction of the human race. But hey, you might not consider that unpleasant.

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-07-30 09:20pm

Eh why not if it would bring about the end of the human race why the hell not besides I love sushi

God Emperor · Post by **God Emperor** » 2003-07-30 09:41pm

Imortality or possibably destroying the human race, hmm, yeah I would do it.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-07-31 12:07am

[courtesy of 'The Dagon Tabernacle Choir' from their CD: A Shoggoth on the Roof.]

If I were a deep one
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub
all day long I'd swim beneath the sea,
if I were a deep one
terrify the tourists,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub
if I were, an icky icky fish, scaly slippery froglike kind of man
I'd make my lair a deep dark cave with some fungus,
right in the heart o' devil's reef
that foul abode of pestilent coral walls
the ramulose and arabesque floriations
with ichor seeping from my chamber halls,
I'd fill the reef with wrecks and corpses and ships
and men for my friends to see and hear
begging mercy as water fills their lungs
and each loud "AHHH!" and "EEE!" and "Help me god NO!"
would scare off the townsfolk far and near
as if to say there live the deep ones!
[aaeh]
if I were a deep one!
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub bloody boody bloody blub
all day long I'd swim beneath the sea, if I were a deep one
drag away some tourists,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub bloody bloody bloody blood!
if I were an icky icky fish, scaly slippery froglike kind-a-man!
I see my kin the marshes hopping like some fish-frog things,
things with their bulging milky eyes,
worshipping dagon with the unholy rites,
I see them putting on crowns and shuffling like a shoggoth,
ah what a hellish sight they are!
Croaking at the sea both day and night!
The most psychotic men in town would come a-lookin fer me!
They would ask me to adjure them, like the mad arab himself,
If you please, old man marsh o Tell me! Old man marsh,
asking questions that would drive the man insane,
blub blub blub blub blub blub bluuub
and it won't make one bit of difference, if'n I answer right or wrong,
when you're deep they think you really know
if i were a fish, I'd have the gills that I lack,
to swim down below the deep Ry'Leh
and maybe have a seat on cthulhu's tomb
and I'd discuss the r'lyeh text with
some deep one friends countless hours every day
fixin' fer the humans' final doom!
[ahhh!]
if I were a deep one
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub bloody body bubbly blood!
all day long I'd swim beneath the sea, if I were a deep one!
get to eat the tourists,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub bobbing bodies bloody blub!
cthulhu you make the people run
you saw fit that flippers have I none
don't you reckon that I'd get more done
if I were a deep one!
[blb blb blb blb blb blb blip blblblb]

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-07-31 02:19am

No. I simply find the idea of sex with an anthropomorphized frog to be disgusting.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-31 11:11am

Nope. There are some lengths towards which I will not go, even for immortality.

FBHthelizardmage · Post by **FBHthelizardmage** » 2003-07-31 11:25am

I'm not screwing a fish girl.

And I'm certainly not going to help destroy humanity.

The Drunkard Kid · Post by **The Drunkard Kid** » 2003-07-31 12:22pm

I think that Fox just found a new depth to sink to in it's mad scramble for reality show based ratings. If people are willing to go on national television and tout themselves as shallow gold diggers for a million dollars, I wonder what would happen when immortality comes into play?

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-07-31 01:06pm

The Drunkard Kid wrote:I think that Fox just found a new depth to sink to in it's mad scramble for reality show based ratings. If people are willing to go on national television and tout themselves as shallow gold diggers for a million dollars, I wonder what would happen when immortality comes into play?

*smirks*

And what would be the ratings...

The Drunkard Kid · Post by **The Drunkard Kid** » 2003-07-31 03:19pm

LadyTevar wrote:
*smirks*

And what would be the ratings...

Well, watching it would probably drive it's viewers insane... so the ratings would be pretty high, since it would create it's own loyal audience, and catch anyone who had been flipping channels at the wrong time. You know, maybe Fox is on to something...

At the very least, it can't be as depressing as Joe Millionaire and For Love or Money...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-07-31 07:10pm

Of course it's evil, and perfectly in line with what Fox would do...

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-31 07:11pm

The kids will live forever? How the hell does that help me?

The Drunkard Kid · Post by **The Drunkard Kid** » 2003-07-31 07:17pm

HemlockGrey wrote:The kids will live forever? How the hell does that help me?

I missed that part, I thought the immortality was for the lucky winner. As it is though, if that's the case it just might be the most morally uplifting reality show on Fox. Sure, their condemning humanity to a painful demise, but they're doing it for their *kids*, not just cause they want a million dollars.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-07-31 07:24pm

Ok, Deepones don't age, unless they are killed by violence. Their magical...

Samething involves the Ghula, and a few other magical kritters...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-07-31 07:27pm

Of course They could probably get into some sort of heavy metal band...

They could have all they want

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-07-31 07:50pm

Um...any images? I withhold judgement until I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-07-31 08:48pm

Darth Yoshi wrote:Um...any images? I withhold judgement until I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here.

I concur. I wouldn't mine exchangin sex for immortality. I would like to know just what the hell I'm getting.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-01 02:16am

Darth Yoshi wrote:Um...any images? I withhold judgement until I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here.

Screenshot from the "Call Of Cthulhu" computer game

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-08-01 05:20am

for immortality Id fuck quite a lot of things.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-08-01 05:56am

I don't think you're personally becoming immortal. It's just for the kids. Your children get to live forever in glorious palaces under the sea. As far as I can tell, you still have to die eventually.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-08-01 06:05am

so I get laid by some sort of slime reptile, and get no benefits?

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-08-01 12:23pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Darth Yoshi wrote:Um...any images? I withhold judgement until I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here.
Screenshot from the "Call Of Cthulhu" computer game

Please tell he that's an oversized male.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-01 12:38pm

3rd Impact wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Darth Yoshi wrote:Um...any images? I withhold judgement until I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here.
Screenshot from the "Call Of Cthulhu" computer game
Please tell he that's an oversized male.

Not all Deep Ones are that big, but some specimens grow to immense sizes.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-08-05 02:20pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Screenshot from the "Call Of Cthulhu" computer game

Friendly. If that's a female, then probably not.

Chupa-arbol · Post by **Chupa-arbol** » 2003-08-10 12:47am

Just a thought: if these guys are fishlike or amphibioid, wouldn't I just have to jizz over some spawn? That's well worth it for immortal kids and cool tiaras.

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Would you marry with a deep one?