Ash vs. Wesley, battle to the death!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-30 08:58pm

Ash the middle school dropout from Pokemon and Wesley the abused moron of Star Trek must fight each other to the death. Both are armed with small rocks and old dull very rusty knifes in a open arena.

The viewers are NOT aloud to kill either before the match is completed, though the winner will be tortured to death over the course of several weeks.

So who wins?

Mike_6002 · Post by **Mike_6002** » 2002-11-30 09:01pm

As long it not Wesley, that nerd boy needs to die, even if it's from the <Shrugs...> pokenerd Ash

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-30 09:10pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:So who wins?

The rest of humanity!

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-11-30 10:24pm

Best Case Scenario: Wesley kills Ash, but an infecting from the dull knife finishes him off with a slow, painful death.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-30 10:34pm

They are both nancy boys so they will end up just slapping each other to death.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2002-11-30 11:01pm

Ash doesn't have his Pokeballs, and Westly evolved into an traveler-esque being. Westly kicks Ash around.

BlackWarMewtwo · Post by **BlackWarMewtwo** » 2002-11-30 11:19pm

Presuming this is pre-traveler/reality manipulator Wesley, Ash should win.

He's more physically fit from being on a hiking trip every day of his life for the last 3+ years, and his experience as a pokemon trainer gives him some idea of where and how to hit in a fight.

Mr. Mister · Post by **Mr. Mister** » 2002-12-01 01:25am

Ash would win. I mean, come on, he's got a shotgun with infinite ammo, a chainsaw instead of his left hand, can turn an Oldsmobile into a Terrifying Wagon of Death...

Oh. Wait. Pokemon Ash? I thought you meant Army of Darkness Ash!

I'd have to give the fight to Wesley. The pokemon kid looks like a short chub ball. Or is that the wrong pokemon kid?

Anyway, it'd be fun as hell to watch Ash, who could have been king, beat up on, well, either of those two.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-01 01:32am

Mr. Mister wrote:Ash would win. I mean, come on, he's got a shotgun with infinite ammo, a chainsaw instead of his left hand, can turn an Oldsmobile into a Terrifying Wagon of Death...

Oh. Wait. Pokemon Ash? I thought you meant Army of Darkness Ash!

I'd have to give the fight to Wesley. The pokemon kid looks like a short chub ball. Or is that the wrong pokemon kid?

Anyway, it'd be fun as hell to watch Ash, who could have been king, beat up on, well, either of those two.

I considering having AOD Ash finish off the loser, but just killing is far to easy.

Crapmon Ash is the main character with the red/white and black hat.

Post by **Beowulf** » 2002-12-01 02:29am

Pre-traveller Weasel, Ash wins. Post Traveller, Weasel wins...

data_link · Post by **data_link** » 2002-12-01 02:39am

Why does everyone here hate wesley? He's more competent than most of the Enterprise bridge crew (too bad he doesn't speak up more often; damn feddie indoctrination).

Anyway, Ash would definitely take this one - he's actually been in a fight before, and as was mentioned, hiking every day is bound to improve his physique.

However Ash still dies because the day before the match, Wesley meets up with Misty and does not treat her like shit in the same fashion that Ash does (does Ash even realize she exists?) Falling in love with Wesley instantly (what, you expected realism?) she is upset after Ash kills him, goes berserk, and rearranges Ash's internal organs. Final winner: Misty.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-01 02:42am

I think that Wesley was an okay character. It was the directors/producers that fucked up the character into an angsty nancy boy. I also like the actor, especially after reading his website.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-12-01 04:47am

Ash and Wesley fight for several hours without an actual result.
But then, suddenly, they discover their love for each other and start f*ck*ng in the hot sand of the Arena. They roll around on the floor and suddenly Ash is impaled on the rusty knife that was still sticking in the ground. He dies quickly and painfully.
Wesley, having lost his loved one, is thrown into depression and commits suicide (with the rusty knife). Misty and the other guy from pokemon go crazy due to the loss of her friend and have to be put down by Imperial Guardsmen while Picard takes advantage of Beverly crusher's depression following the loss of her son.

End.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-01 04:57am

Cpt_Frank wrote:Ash and Wesley fight for several hours without an actual result.
But then, suddenly, they discover their love for each other and start f*ck*ng in the hot sand of the Arena. They roll around on the floor and suddenly Ash is impaled on the rusty knife that was still sticking in the ground. He dies quickly and painfully.
Wesley, having lost his loved one, is thrown into depression and commits suicide (with the rusty knife). Misty and the other guy from pokemon go crazy due to the loss of her friend and have to be put down by Imperial Guardsmen while Picard takes advantage of Beverly crusher's depression following the loss of her son.

End.

Gah. The googles do nothing.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-01 05:05am

Cpt_Frank wrote:Ash and Wesley fight for several hours without an actual result.
But then, suddenly, they discover their love for each other and start f*ck*ng in the hot sand of the Arena. They roll around on the floor and suddenly Ash is impaled on the rusty knife that was still sticking in the ground. He dies quickly and painfully.
Wesley, having lost his loved one, is thrown into depression and commits suicide (with the rusty knife). Misty and the other guy from pokemon go crazy due to the loss of her friend and have to be put down by Imperial Guardsmen while Picard takes advantage of Beverly crusher's depression following the loss of her son.

End.

That's just........wrong.....sto.......fucking!............sO!..........KILL SEEK DEATH![i/]....p............make it..............

*Brain finishes emergency purge and cold restart*

Only the cleansing power of the thermonuclear atom can save this....[i/]

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-12-01 08:09am

You guys can be glad I didn't post the uncensored first draft of the story!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-01 06:39pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:You guys can be glad I didn't post the uncensored first draft of the story!

You'd melt your own brain doing so.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-12-02 03:35pm

You'd melt your own brain doing so.

*tries to imagine uncensored version*

Even writing the censored one hurt so bad!

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2002-12-02 03:55pm

I think that they are to whimpy to fight so they would just sit down and talk upon which some lucky people get to go in and "score one for humanity"...

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2002-12-02 04:39pm

I think Wesley would win, because for one, he's like what? 19?

and Ash is only 10, he's going to beat the crap out of Ash.

BlackWarMewtwo · Post by **BlackWarMewtwo** » 2002-12-02 04:57pm

Larz wrote:I think that they are to whimpy to fight so they would just sit down and talk upon which some lucky people get to go in and "score one for humanity"...

As has already been mentioned, Ash is not wimpy. He's currently in the middle of an over THREE YEAR hike, over mountians and hills.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-02 05:23pm

FaxModem1 wrote:I think Wesley would win, because for one, he's like what? 19?

Actor was about that old, character was younger though, think he was suppost to be 15-16 at the start of the series.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Ash vs. Wesley, battle to the death!

Who wins the death match?

Ash vs. Wesley, battle to the death!

Re: Ash vs. Wesley, battle to the death!