Stranded (2013 movie)

[Parallax]

Somehow I got my hands on this movie, it stars Christian Slater of orange sherbert fame.
It's about a mining moon base, staffed by a grand total of four people, that gets invaded by an alien bacteria.

These four people then proceed to make Star Fleet personnel look like goddamn tactical geniuses. The only person in existence who could be more of a complete lack-wit than the characters is whoever wrote this slather of nonsensical crap.

Spoilers (and mockery) follow:
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The moon base suffers damage, so that only emergency lights are functioning. They go on about how they have to save power so they don't die. So Doctor and Scientist (the characters were so woefully under-developed, they don't even deserve bloody names) immediately take a random rock they found and start testing it. In powered equipment. In a completely unsafe manner.
Somehow, bacteria found in the middle of a meteorite can make a human woman pregnant and give birth within a day. With apparently no ill effects to the human in question.
Bacteria Baby bites Engineer. Engineer comments that he was bitten. The Doctor glances at the bite and declares it was a glass cut. Despite there being two curved marks and teeth marks.
Engineer cracks under the strain and gets drunk (because you'd be allowed such on a moon base), not coping with the fact that they're running out of stuff to breathe. The Doctor finds him drunk and tell him to start running on a nearby treadmill to work the booze out of his system.
The escape pods, of which there are two, for this base carry two people each. And take a long freaking time to prepare for launch. Hours, apparently. Be a shame if there was some kind of emergency, wouldn't there?
Bacteria Alien Man, grown to genital-less adult form in one day ... because fuck biology and physics, struggles with concepts such as speech and other basics, but somehow knows how to successfully fly an escape pod from the moon base all the way to Earth.
The moon base was obviously cobbled together by a retard, as it breaks down continuously and can't handle a mild meteorite hit. Redundancy systems? Who needs those?! Spare space suits? For wusses! Some sort of emergency communications system? Ha!
Bacteria Alien Man lands on Earth and metamorphoses again, apparently with the goddamn magical ability not to leave tracks of his movements. Despite walking on legs, being physically uncoordinated and about as intelligent as a tree stump.

And this is just a small sample of the mind boggling stupidity of this movie. I dare you to watch it. I goddamn dare you.
I haven't even mentioned the pain inducing dialogue or the worse-than-1970s-Doctor-Who special effects.

[paladin]

I'm surprised that this cinematic screen gem (steaming pile of dog poop) has been on SyFy!

[tezunegari]

Is that the one with the SFX moonbase looking like a cheap table-top gameset that is punished with cherry-bombs?

[Cykeisme]

You could post a write-up like that up (but without stating the title), and let people guess if you made it up entirely, or if it's a real movie that was actually produced, filmed and screened.

I would never have guessed correctly.