Revisiting Old Doctor Who: The Pirate Planet

[Broomstick]

The Pirate Planet
(Miniature sets, hammy villain, and two Time Lords to the rescue)

Another installment in my on-again, off-again review of OldWho that seems to happen when NuWho is between seasons.

The Pirate Planet is classic Tom Baker, with the First Romana in two. It's early days for Romana, who is studying the TARDIS manual because Type 40 antiques weren't required study at the Time Academy in her day. As usual, the Doctor maintains he knows better than the manual and winds up going face-first into the TARDIS console at one point, which helps explain injuries Tom Baker sustained in real life when he was bit on the mouth/face by a dog. (No, not K9 who is also featured in this serial)

The two Time Lords are in pursuit of another part of the Key to Time and instead of winding up on Calufrax they wind up on another, more hospital planet. Hijinks ensue, there is an over-the-top techno-pirate cyborg in control (although not really), oppressed people needing rescue, some double-crossing between villains, and it turns out the entire planet of Calufrax is the segment of the Key to Time - probably just as well it wasn't inhabited.

The story hummed along pretty well, but... you know, I didn't really like TechnoPirate when I first saw this 30+ years ago, I like him even less now. "Cartoon" is a word I'd use, although in the context he was actually a decoy for the person really in charge it worked.... but this cartoon actually did kill people.

And TechnoParrot was really... well, K9 isn't bad, but I get the sense he was supposed to be the avian equivalent and it really didn't work that well for me. Although the amount of sinister they could get out of a prop that, essentially, only ever turned its head and nothing else was considerable. Well, it "flew", but honestly, NOT showing that might have made it a stronger threat for the viewer.

Some of the things that stood out to me was how 1970's special effects suffered in comparison with modern ones, and in being shown on a larger screen. The sets of the town/city/"bridge"/etc. are very clearly miniature models to my eye, not nearly as convincing as I remember. The composition shots suffer from a "halo" around the people in the aircars and the background scenery. And it's a clear wonder that Tom Baker didn't trip over the damn scarf and break his neck, he stepped on it more than once. Although by this time he is no doubt accustomed to managing it.

Even so, it was an amusing romp and while the effects were dated they weren't too horrific, I could go with them while following the story.

This is another one that would serve as a decent introduction to Who and to the Tom Baker era.

[Darth Holbytlan]

I've been Doctor Who fan, especially for the Tom Baker era, since I was a kid, and "The Pirate Planet" has always been a favorite. Hammy acting and all. In fact, the Captain's hammy acting is kind of a plot point and a lot of fun.

The effects are bad, as you note, but I just tune that out—outside of Star Wars, nothing I watched from that era had good effects anyway.

The writing in the episode is great fun; this is one of the three written by Douglas Adams, along with "City of Death" (under a pseudonym) and the never-completed "Shada". "City of Death" is well worth watching as it is probably the most well-crafted Who episode of all time and the better of the two completed episodes, but I actually like "The Pirate Planet" better. If you have read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, you will recognize that Mr. Adams recycled a bit of "City of Death" into that book.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Indeed, I always enjoyed The Pirate Planet. The effects are just something you have to gloss over, like the infamous green-painted bubble wrap from The Ark in Space.

Oddly enough, I've always felt that the, shall we say, cheapness of the effects was one of OldWho's assets, as it forced them to rely on generally excellent writing and acting rather than effects. Take the aforementioned Ark in Space. The whole thing uses about five guest actors, four sets, green-painted bubble wrap and a bug costume that's about as convincing as my neighborhood's Halloween efforts, and yet it's held up as a brilliant story that ranks among the best in OldWho.

[Broomstick]

This gets back to something I say over and over - you have to have a good story to have a successful show. You can have the shittiest sets, costumes, and so on but if you have a good story that will overcome almost anything.

Of course, good actors are the second essential thing, they help a lot, too.

That said - in a show running as long as either version of Who you're going to have some stinker episodes. For OldWho those have been largely forgotten, and they aren't the ones re-run over and over or recommended by fans which gives the illusion the overall/average quality of OldWho was somehow vastly superior to NuWho, where the stinkers are still fresh in the nose and mind.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Oh that's certainly true. There are certainly some OldWho episodes that I actively avoid, The Twin Dilemma springs to mind. And then you have a whole range of stories that I would deem to be "watchable but ultimately forgettable" where they're ok to watch, once, and after that you just go "meh" and move on. The Edge of Destruction comes to mind, as does The Sontaran Experiment and Frontier in Space.

However, even accounting for the difference in size between OldWho and NuWho (27 seasons to 8 so far), I still think that OldWho has produce more brilliant episodes on a per-episode basis. Or, the odds of a given OldWho episode being brilliant are greater than the odds for a NuWho episode.

Part of that is, I think, the length of the stories. Most OldWho stories were 4 episodes, giving you effectively a short movie's worth of time (90-100 minutes) to tell a story, explore the characters etc. Some were6 or even 8 or 10 episodes, giving you even more time. NuWho gets 40-45 minutes, or double that for a two-parter which are the exception and not the norm. You just can't fit 100 minutes of quality storytelling into 45 minutes without it feeling rushed.

Imagine trying to do City of Death in just two episodes. Or Remembrance of the Daleks, with all it's Seventh Doctor chessmastery goodness. Or even The Pirate Planet. Try telling The Invasion in a NuWho two-parter and see how well it works. Or fitting Genesis of the Daleks into just three OldWho episodes.

[Broomstick]

I think your 90-100 minutes of storytelling is a slightly off, there was a tendency to repeat the ending few minutes of the prior installment in the next one which shaved a bit off the time, although yes, there was a bit more time to get a story in. The other thing is that some of the stories seem a bit padded at time. I think you could have told "The Pirate Planet" in three episodes as an example without losing anything. Greater length didn't always result in more character development or plot advancement. "Snakedance" is probably one of the greatest examples of that, way too much repetition of scenes in that one. That was definitely a stinker in my opinion.

NuWho, on the other hand, does seem rushed at times and probably could benefit by a bit more time for some of the stories.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Fair point, there are certainly some OldWho stories that could have been shorter. The War Games for instance could certainly have been done in eight episode rather than ten, but it's still a cracking story.

[Parallax]

As much as you have to rag on some of the NuWho stuff (looking at you 'love and monsters'), OldWho certainly had some terrible stories as well - The Twin Dilemma is often cited but sitting through Time and The Rani is just painful.

I do agree with above sentiments, namely that you can overcome even the worst special effects (and even dodgy actors) with decent stories. Example? Let's look at the guy who played Adric - he was a terrible actor but some of the stories he featured in were actually not bad. Earthshock was a solid, if predictable once you drop the companion death, yarn.

And I do that that is an area where NuWho needs to do a bit more work. Concentrate more on the actual stories rather than relying on special effects to get you through to the finish line.

[Eternal_Freedom]

I'd go so far as to say focus on the stories as stand-alone tales rather than trying to fit them into a season-long arc. Obviously you want to have some continuity references and character growth is important, but I'd really prefer to see a NuWho season that didn't have some big myth arc in it.

Oddly enough, thats one reason why I think higher of Donna's season than others, because while there were a few ongoing references to the Medusa Cascade and the bees disappearing, as well as Rose showing up occasionally, the stories were mostly just stand-alone things.