ewoks vs the shire

[Balrog]

One of Bilbo's ancestor's Bullroarer knocked off the head of an orc lord with a hammer.

It was a goblin, just to nitpick.

Arn't goblins and orcs the same, except Goblins are smaller then Orcs (i.e. the Moria orcs)?

sorry, off-topic

[Subnormal]

Catapults, rolling logs, Arrows, and gliders, would be the greatest asset to the Ewok forces even in the open, where they could hit targets with ease. As seen in ROTJ the Ewoks were able to hit a Less than 10 meter wide moving object in a forest, lets say we have a non-moving object in the clear, they would be catapult fodder.

Another thing is the tactical advantage of the hilly terrain around hobbitan, this allows for Guerrilla attacks as long as gullies are used as areas of concealment. The hills also add extra range and strength to the Catapults, and perfect places for the glider forces to take off from. If the Ewoks were to attack the Hobbits in complete surprise without Hobbit defense preparations, the Ewoks would easily decimate the hobbits, as the hobbits are natural pacifists with no armories or readily available swords or bows. The only weapons available to the Hobbits would be picks, shovels, hoes, rakes, and throwing stones. Compared to slings, bows, spears, clubs, and throwing stones.

The hills around Hobbiton also are coated with high grasses and fields, this would allow for easy concealment of camofluaged fur creatures.

The Ewoks if they could coordinate their assault(With horns) would easily destroy the hobbit defenders without the hobbits knowing what hit them. The hobbits would most likely take refuge in their hobbit holes, if they do this, the ewoks would probably make a battering ram, and pound down each door. There are no good defensive fortifications that could give the hobbits any advantages and the open would only work against them.

I believe the Ewoks would highly intimidate the nonviolent farmers in a pitched battle, with growls, snarls and would give a morale advantage to the Ewoks. A pitched battle is highly unlikely because the hobbits would probably seek hiding and conscripting humans or nearby stronger allies to defend the shire for them.

Now if the Hobbits attacked the Ewoks it is easily a Hobbit massacre. With Tree top fortresses hurling stones down on the attackers, and with the massive advantage of home turf, the hobbits wouldn't have a chance.

The battle if the hobbits would even commit to one would clearly go to the more aggressive, stronger, and better armed(especially non-melee weapons) Ewoks.

Here is my run down of the Surprise Ewok attack scenario:

The Ewoks having scouted the terrain using glider recon advance in silence and in concealment, through the gullies and high grass into attack position at night. Horns would signal the assault, and the concealed Ewoks would rise up and attack with slings, throwing stones, and arrows. The Ewoks would fire then move using perfected tribal geurilla tactics to confuse the bewildered defenders even more. Another Horn or the first horn would signal the attack with the Catapult, the munitions might be upgraded to flaming missles to increase damage. Then Ewoks with melee weapons would charge from cover screaming and howling, creating an amazing pychological impact on the hobbits, who without weapons, or with farm tools would quickly take cover in their hobbit holes. The Melee troops would enter hobbiton and battering ram the doors down, entering and removing or slaying the occupants. The surrounding Hobbits(not in hobbiton) would be even easier to kill, as Ewok bands could quickly hunt down the farmers and single families one at a time.


If there were to be a pitched battle say Hobbit battleline versus Ewok Battleline the effects might be different as the Hobbits would have preperation, Though I believe it's sort of a code of the ewoks to not fight in pitched battles. Along with that the Hobbits pacifists and untrained militarily would rather flee and survive than fight unknown foes.
The hobbits would probably be able to find weapons and form a battle strategy if prepared, but it's sort of a creed that Ewoks attack by surprise, and at weak points. It would ultimately end up being an attritioned guerrilla war.

Just my opinion.

[Sea Skimmer]

One side having time for elaborate preparations, while the others just sit in there houses waiting is hardly a fair or pointful comparison, and in any case equal number where specified.

[Raptor 597]

The Hobbits get hungry after their Ewok captors miss second breakfast, lunch and supper and only feed the ravenous Hobbits a single evening meal. Crazed Hobbits devoure the little furfuckers whole and raw

That assumes the Ewoks dont just eat them....like they wanted to do with Han & Co.

The Hobbits will them on the spot, but the Ewoks will try too cook them.

[Keevan_Colton]

The Hobbits get hungry after their Ewok captors miss second breakfast, lunch and supper and only feed the ravenous Hobbits a single evening meal. Crazed Hobbits devoure the little furfuckers whole and raw

That assumes the Ewoks dont just eat them....like they wanted to do with Han & Co.

The Hobbits will them on the spot, but the Ewoks will try too cook them.

Nah, they hobbits insist on cooking everything.

[Subnormal]

One side having time for elaborate preparations, while the others just sit in there houses waiting is hardly a fair or pointful comparison, and in any case equal number where specified.

Now the problem is the Ewoks would never resort to such a thing, especially with equal numbers. They are guerrilla troops, trying to create a battle between guerrillas and pacifists is pretty redundant.


But anyway lets create an Ewoks defeat the Hobbits with both sides being prepared:

The battle.

- Setting: Open flat field.
- Battle type: All out, Battlelines-vs-Battlelines.
- Forces: Equal #'s Hobbits - vs - Ewoks.
- Hobbit Unit types: light infantry(farm equipage), light archers(hunting bows?), other non-melee units(stone throwers), all unarmored. No heavy artillery, or special weapons.

- Ewok Unit types: light infantry(spears, clubs), light archers(hunting bows), Sling troops, all are lightly armored(animal skull helmets,etc), Catapult, and Gliderbourne projectile droppers. Note: Ewoks have sharp teeth which are canine like, could be used for biting, and claws that could further add to melee ability.


Both sides are drawn up in line of battle. Growling and Snarling by Ewoks will probably create amazing pychological effects on the hobbits who do not fight. The Ewoks would probably get first blood, with the catapult, which would depending on the ammunition obliterate 5+ hobbits in line per shot. The Glider troops would harass the hobbits even further with ordinance from above. The Hobbits don't appear to be too fond of hunting, and are more of an agrarian society, so I believe the Ewoks would further take more kills and wounded with their Bow skills. Non-melee combat would ensue until the battle lines would meet. The Ewoks would have better chances as several hobbits may have deserted(due to phychological impact of horror(completely new to them) of battle, and of witnessing gruesome deaths by catapult and falling rocks). The Ewoks would now have a manpower advantage as Hobbit numbers would be decreasing due to attrition of non-melee weapons, catapults, and gliders, with this advantage and with the advantages of Ewok melee combat, the Hobbits would be forced to flee. The Ewoks have a far superior melee combat ability not because of good weapons but because of strength, and natural weapons(like claws, teeth). Their superior strength is witnessed in the easy of heavy lifting of stones. Will complete later....

[Sea Skimmer]

Hobbits not to found of hunting? Then where did all those hunting bows come from at the end of The Return of the King? And how come they where able to hit people running away and chargeing with ease?

Hobbits really are not pacifist, just isolationist. There as well armed if not better then any medieval people, and know how to use there weapons. They defeated a considerable number of well-armed humans after all, and with very light losses.

The hobbits have fought Wolfs before, and the wolfs of Middle Earth are much larger and smarter then those we have today. There not likely to be imitated by growling teddy bears.

[Shadow WarChief]

Subnormal, I stopped reading your post about 1/4 down when you said:

"the hobbits are natural pacifists with no armories or readily available swords or bows."



Here's a clue: READ THE FUCKING BOOKS.

The hobbits had very ready access to swords and bows and were able to defeat every single Uruk Hai (who numbered in the hundreds) in the shire in under 2 days.

The hobbits are not pacifists and have weapons.

[Shadow WarChief]

Cursed lack of an edit button.... I just though of something that would probably send the Ewoks running: Frodo's mithril armor. If they though that good ol' gold and dented C3PO was a god, they're bound to think that Frodo's flawless mithril armor is a sign of his divinity.

Upon seeing one of their gods, they ewoks bow down and begin to worship Frodo, allowing the hobbit army to run through the fuzz balls.

[Darth Garden Gnome]

Cursed lack of an edit button.... I just though of something that would probably send the Ewoks running: Frodo's mithril armor. If they though that good ol' gold and dented C3PO was a god, they're bound to think that Frodo's flawless mithril armor is a sign of his divinity.

Upon seeing one of their gods, they ewoks bow down and begin to worship Frodo, allowing the hobbit army to run through the fuzz balls.

And yet the fucking giant metal chickens aren't gods? I seriously doubt it. And if we're going by book standards that armor is hardly invincible. Even if it were, a good 'ol rock the noggin will still kill them.

Anyways thats a cop-out adn you know it. This is a battle to the death, not "lets think of things ewoks will worship" time.

[Sea Skimmer]

Cursed lack of an edit button.... I just though of something that would probably send the Ewoks running: Frodo's mithril armor. If they though that good ol' gold and dented C3PO was a god, they're bound to think that Frodo's flawless mithril armor is a sign of his divinity.

Upon seeing one of their gods, they ewoks bow down and begin to worship Frodo, allowing the hobbit army to run through the fuzz balls.

And yet the fucking giant metal chickens aren't gods? I seriously doubt it. And if we're going by book standards that armor is hardly invincible. Even if it were, a good 'ol rock the noggin will still kill them.

Anyways thats a cop-out adn you know it. This is a battle to the death, not "lets think of things ewoks will worship" time.

AT-ST's aren't shinny, which is an important aspect of it.

[Keevan_Colton]

Cursed lack of an edit button.... I just though of something that would probably send the Ewoks running: Frodo's mithril armor. If they though that good ol' gold and dented C3PO was a god, they're bound to think that Frodo's flawless mithril armor is a sign of his divinity.

Upon seeing one of their gods, they ewoks bow down and begin to worship Frodo, allowing the hobbit army to run through the fuzz balls.

And yet the fucking giant metal chickens aren't gods? I seriously doubt it. And if we're going by book standards that armor is hardly invincible. Even if it were, a good 'ol rock the noggin will still kill them.

Anyways thats a cop-out adn you know it. This is a battle to the death, not "lets think of things ewoks will worship" time.

AT-ST's aren't shinny, which is an important aspect of it.

Or maybe it ties in with the old trading dialect they speak that they must have picked up someplace...perhaps off an old 3PO style unit?
But as for shiny....he has fuzzy feat which would make them kill him clearly....

[Sea Skimmer]

And yet the fucking giant metal chickens aren't gods? I seriously doubt it. And if we're going by book standards that armor is hardly invincible. Even if it were, a good 'ol rock the noggin will still kill them.

Anyways thats a cop-out adn you know it. This is a battle to the death, not "lets think of things ewoks will worship" time.

AT-ST's aren't shinny, which is an important aspect of it.

Or maybe it ties in with the old trading dialect they speak that they must have picked up someplace...perhaps off an old 3PO style unit?
But as for shiny....he has fuzzy feat which would make them kill him clearly....

The hairy feet might have the opposite effect and convince the Ewoks that hobbits are some form of super Ewok they should obey.

[Keevan_Colton]

AT-ST's aren't shinny, which is an important aspect of it.

Or maybe it ties in with the old trading dialect they speak that they must have picked up someplace...perhaps off an old 3PO style unit?
But as for shiny....he has fuzzy feat which would make them kill him clearly....

The hairy feet might have the opposite effect and convince the Ewoks that hobbits are some form of super Ewok they should obey.

If anything should have super ewok status its chewie and he was on the menu right beside han and luke
After all ewoks are just slightly backwards smaller wookies

[Sea Skimmer]

Or maybe it ties in with the old trading dialect they speak that they must have picked up someplace...perhaps off an old 3PO style unit?
But as for shiny....he has fuzzy feat which would make them kill him clearly....

The hairy feet might have the opposite effect and convince the Ewoks that hobbits are some form of super Ewok they should obey.

If anything should have super ewok status its chewie and he was on the menu right beside han and luke
After all ewoks are just slightly backwards smaller wookies

He's far too big and the hairs too long. Hobbits are a much closer match, even if they don't think there gods they might accept them as just different Ewoks.

[Vendetta]

Subnormal, I stopped reading your post about 1/4 down when you said:

"the hobbits are natural pacifists with no armories or readily available swords or bows."



Here's a clue: READ THE FUCKING BOOKS.

The hobbits had very ready access to swords and bows and were able to defeat every single Uruk Hai (who numbered in the hundreds) in the shire in under 2 days.

The hobbits are not pacifists and have weapons.

The invaders in the books are not Uruk-hai. They're men.

However, Hobbits do have a history of defending their land against invasion, they have previously beaten off armies of invading orcs and wolves.

Even those that don't have access to bows and weapons have stones and farming implements, and they are reknowned for their accuracy with stones, and capable of hurling them with enough force to incapacitate the giant spiders of Mirkwood (large enough to have sufficient brain mass to develop/learn language)

[Skelron]

Then we have the fact that during the Scouring one of the Hobbit Family's was able to hold the Men off, completely. Tooks thats the one.

Then we also have the fact that the Ewoks arn't the only Guerilla fighter's the Hobbit's are just as good at hiding, they can hide in very little cover, (It's why according to Tolkien they are rarely seen after the return of the King, they avoid the Big Folk, and are very good at hiding from them.)

Finnally Hobbit's have never been as Evil for a License as Ewoks, who are only beaten by Jar Jar for damaging Star Wars. I give to the Hobbit's on both sound reasons and Moral ones, I refuse to give Ewoks a win ever...

[Coaan]

The ewoks took on a superior enemy (In both technology and ability) and whupped ass....admittedly they had the heros and one hellava character shield..(the ones that lived)...when compaired with the current hobbits( pre ROTK)...they just sit around and eat...

yeah...

The Ewoks take them, hands down due to the hobbits having no army

[Shadow WarChief]

[quote="Coaan"

The Ewoks take them, hands down due to the hobbits having no army[/quote]

Except for the fact that they do have an army

[Balrog]

When rallied behind a great leader, like Merry and Pippen, Hobbits kick serious ass. I'd like to see a fuzzy teddy bear drive off some Great Wolves with their little pointy sticks

[Coaan]

[quote="Coaan"

The Ewoks take them, hands down due to the hobbits having no army

Except for the fact that they do have an army[/quote]

Not before ROTK

[Shadow WarChief]

Not before ROTK

So? It's always assumed, unless indicated by the thread starter, that the the combatants are as they were when we saw the last detailed descriptions in the canon/ official material


Ergo, post scouring of the shire hobbits: where any enemy gets a hobbit blade in the neck.

[Subnormal]

Here's a clue: READ THE FUCKING BOOKS.

The hobbits had very ready access to swords and bows and were able to defeat every single Uruk Hai (who numbered in the hundreds) in the shire in under 2 days.

The hobbits are not pacifists and have weapons.

I did read most of the books, I read Fellowship, Two Towers, and half of Return of The kings. I never got to any parts about the shire and Hobbits fighting, so I will read them as soon as I get a chance. I was taking my information from the Movies also the post never specified wether the Hobbits were movie or book hobbits. As Ewoks are Movie material and Hobbits are Book and Movie material I didn't know where to base my arguement. I didn't have the full information, and I highly doubt the hobbits won an amazing battle against humans without aide, so I will read TTT as soon as I get a chance.

If Hobbits have time to prepare they would probably have a good chance, but if you put unarmed hobbits against unarmed Ewoks in equal numbers the Ewoks would easily win.

[Colonel Olrik]

didn't have the full information, and I highly doubt the hobbits won an amazing battle against humans without aide, so I will read TTT as soon as I get a chance.]

But they did. Without any kind of aid, in the Scouring of the shire (end of ROK). There were hundreds of armed men, and the hobbits had little casualties.

They're many times told to be very good with bows, and their actions (one shot kills) confirm it.

Also, like somebody said, the Tooks were never conquered, and had an army hundreds strong.

If Hobbits have time to prepare they would probably have a good chance, but if you put unarmed hobbits against unarmed Ewoks in equal numbers the Ewoks would easily win.

Unarmed probably, but then a tiger would own a man every day. Between one hobbit with a steel sword and a Ewok with a sharp stick, well..

[Subnormal]

I wonder if those Ewok movies would add anything to this debate. I only saw one of them once and that was like 10 years ago, it was a pathetic movie.