SD.net becomes SPACE MARINES! (RAR!)

Darth Hoth · Post by **Darth Hoth** » 2008-08-30 09:02am

I will go insane from all the Space Marine growth hormones and do something crazy. Like, invading Russia.

Darth Tanner · Post by **Darth Tanner** » 2008-08-30 09:05am

Cool I'm immortal!

Do we get the mind download that gives space marines (Space Wolves at least) knowledge of the entire Imperium and its technology?

Other than being supremely healthy and a muscle bound giant I'm not sure how this would affect me, I have no wish to join any armed force even if I have super reflexes. As long as the government doesnt abduct me I'd think it would be life as normal, except I'm a freakish monstrosity.

I take to cleaning up the recent muggings

most civilised countries frown somewhat on vigilantism, even (or especially) from armour clad gaints with hand held rpg machine guns.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-08-30 09:41am

Darth Tanner wrote:As long as the government doesnt abduct me

Even untrained and unarmed a Space Marine SDNetter could make this prospect extremely costly.

most civilised countries frown somewhat on vigilantism, even (or especially) from armour clad gaints with hand held rpg machine guns.

I remember reading about how members of the production team saw Space Marines back when they were doing the new Codex for 4th ed. Something which they liked the image of, and which is fairly obvious, is that Space Marines are clearly space knights in blood-soaked space armour. It would not be hard to impress upon people the image of a larger than life knight in shining armour. You'd never even have to lift a finger, as the huge size and weight of a Space Marine is sufficient to scare any thug into tears. If your post count is high enough, it also comes with a flaming/lightning wreathed/glowing sword.

If the public loves you, it is not inconceivable that you could get away with vigilantism, so long as you don't pop someone like a blister with your bolt pistol.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2008-08-30 12:30pm

Ford Prefect wrote:
Darth Tanner wrote:As long as the government doesnt abduct me
Even untrained and unarmed a Space Marine SDNetter could make this prospect extremely costly.

You have a full platoon of vets here who will now be recalled into service by the government. Your ass will belong to the government son.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2008-08-30 12:40pm

Darksider wrote:something to think about, aren't space marines eunichs or something?

I thought the genetic manipulation really messed with their private parts or some such.

I asked my buddy this question

The geneseed treatment renders them unable to have sex, that's why they don't sire new recruits but harvest them from their primarch's planets. It's explained pretty thoroughly in the canon Space Wolf novels.

They're really barely human by the time they hit full marine physiology, they have all sorts of fucked up hormone glands, their bodies are swollen but their heads remain the same size, they have bio-metal carapace under their skin that lets them interface with the armor.

So there you go

TithonusSyndrome · Post by **TithonusSyndrome** » 2008-08-30 01:06pm

Great, lifelong roid rage. Anything I'd care to accomplish with my newfound stature and armor would mean little if I couldn't enjoy it in sound mind.

speaker-to-trolls · Post by **speaker-to-trolls** » 2008-08-30 02:14pm

Ford Prefect wrote:This isn't exactly a 'woman of kleenex' problem. However, I'm not about to go into the mechanics of a Space Marine having sex with a human woman because goddammit I still have some pride.

Oh. I don't, really, so could you just drop a hint about how you think that would work? Anything at all, please? I'm just intensely confused about how you think intimacy between a woman and something that can dismantle a bison with its bare hands is going to work.

Hey, Ender: Did your friend mean space marines can't have sex or can't reproduce? I don't assume he'd confuse the two, I just want to be sure.

As a space marine my first act would be to punch Q in the face for inflicting this on all of us, I'm sure there are plenty of SDnetizens who have no desire to become hulking cyborg monsters. I mean my god how do you think the people with children will deal with this?

White Haven · Post by **White Haven** » 2008-08-30 02:55pm

And the difference between that punch and Sisko's is that when a Space Marine punches him, Q has to reinflate his face before bitching about Picard.

Vehrec · Post by **Vehrec** » 2008-08-30 02:59pm

What I want to know, what I really want to know, Is what the hell is going to happen to Tev and the other women. Will Q make actual fem-marines, some kind of intermediate creature, or just make them Adeptes Sorroritas?

As for the subject of Space Marines and sex, I've always known they're sterile, but this may not always have been so. Also, the impotence of Space Marines with respect to women may be conditioned as well as glandular. It's not a well fleshed out area.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2008-08-30 03:12pm

Ender wrote:You have a full platoon of vets here who will now be recalled into service by the government. Your ass will belong to the government son.

Oh man, you aren't kidding.

"Petty Officer Bucher, how do you feel about...Pakistan?"

"I don't really wan-"

"Good! You ship out in 2 hours."

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-08-30 03:29pm

Vehrec wrote:What I want to know, what I really want to know, Is what the hell is going to happen to Tev and the other women. Will Q make actual fem-marines, some kind of intermediate creature, or just make them Adeptes Sorroritas?

Some sort of intermediate creature, they get pretty much all space marine bonuses from space marine organs, although their figure is less altered than usual, and your armor is just as good.

Zor

Almightyboredone · Post by **Almightyboredone** » 2008-08-30 03:46pm

I become king of the SCA?

In all seriousness, I'd turn over the armor and weapons to the DoD and submit my body to study in the fields of Medical Science, so that others could benefit from knowledge that could be gained (provided, of course, that a bargain is struck and they don't kill me, remove my humanity etc...)

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2008-08-30 05:09pm

speaker-to-trolls wrote: Oh. I don't, really, so could you just drop a hint about how you think that would work? Anything at all, please? I'm just intensely confused about how you think intimacy between a woman and something that can dismantle a bison with its bare hands is going to work.

Simple, the Marine lies back and thinks of the Emperor.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-08-30 06:50pm

Ender wrote:You have a full platoon of vets here who will now be recalled into service by the government. Your ass will belong to the government son.

I live on a very small island to the south of Australia. I'm fairly sure that there are no Australian users who have that sort of loyalty to the ADF. And even if they did, this is probably the only time where my extensive knowledge of Warhammer 40,000 trivia would actually be useful in a practical situation.

Simple, the Marine lies back and thinks of the Emperor.

And honestly, the idea that Space marine doesn't have enough fine control to keep their great strength in check is ridiculous. You might as well be worried about breaking every door you open, or crushing everything you pick up. They're not that clumsy.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2008-08-30 08:01pm

Ford Prefect wrote:
And honestly, the idea that Space marine doesn't have enough fine control to keep their great strength in check is ridiculous. You might as well be worried about breaking every door you open, or crushing everything you pick up. They're not that clumsy.

I may be high, but I seem to remember a Space Marine drinking out of a little china teacup in one of Dan Abnett's books.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2008-08-30 09:01pm

Vehrec wrote:What I want to know, what I really want to know, Is what the hell is going to happen to Tev and the other women. Will Q make actual fem-marines, some kind of intermediate creature, or just make them Adeptes Sorroritas?

As for the subject of Space Marines and sex, I've always known they're sterile, but this may not always have been so. Also, the impotence of Space Marines with respect to women may be conditioned as well as glandular. It's not a well fleshed out area.

Well it was probably put in AFTER those physically perfect "Spartan" manly-men of Fulgrim's went to the other side....

I mean they caused over a billion deaths on terra just through sex

Oh, and Yosemite national park gets a bit more interesting, what I can eat just about anything since I have poison digesting glands in addition to a now regenerated pancrease.....

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2008-08-30 10:33pm

Companion Cube wrote:
I may be high, but I seem to remember a Space Marine drinking out of a little china teacup in one of Dan Abnett's books.

One of the White Consuls, IIRC. The Librarian even had his pinky extended...

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » 2008-08-30 10:45pm

Lonestar wrote:
One of the White Consuls, IIRC. The Librarian even had his pinky extended...

Deathwatch actually, it was from the first Eisenhorn novel. Brytnoth was his name.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » 2008-08-30 11:22pm

speaker-to-trolls wrote:
Hey, Ender: Did your friend mean space marines can't have sex or can't reproduce? I don't assume he'd confuse the two, I just want to be sure.

I don't recall anything in the Space Wolf novels saying they can't fuck. In fact Ragnar seemed quite attracted to the female Inquisitor in Ragnars Claw.

loomer · Post by **loomer** » 2008-08-30 11:54pm

It's both, depending on the source. Some say Marines can't even get it up - ironically, that's apparently their 'greatest sacrifice'. Not the total loss of humanity and brainwashing, just the impotence.

Other sources say they're just infertile. So it may vary from chapter to chapter. Ultramarines wouldn't surprise me as being impotent. Space Wolves are, lets face it, Vikings in space. Can you picture an impotent viking? I don't think so.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-08-31 12:07am

Q has made sure the Junk Works and has given you a writen cerificate stating just that.

Zor

Post by **weemadando** » 2008-08-31 12:13am

Well, I imagine that my old application for ADF service will probably be found and processed by the gov't quicksmart once it becomes clear what's going on. After all, it's not like you can hide this (unlike the superpowers stuff).

With that said, I'm debating my loadout.

Though a land speeder would be awesome, terminator armour is probably more awesome. And if I can, I'll tweak out like a 2nd ed Wolfs Guard w/Cyclone missiles, targeter, autocannon and thundershield. Booyah.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-08-31 01:09am

loomer wrote:Ultramarines wouldn't surprise me as being impotent. Space Wolves are, lets face it, Vikings in space. Can you picture an impotent viking? I don't think so.

The Ultramarines are Space Romans, though.

Ando, we should totally have a one-on-one duel of the fates in the middle of Melbourne. No one will care if we damage Melbourne.

Post by **weemadando** » 2008-08-31 01:12am

Ford Prefect wrote:
loomer wrote:Ultramarines wouldn't surprise me as being impotent. Space Wolves are, lets face it, Vikings in space. Can you picture an impotent viking? I don't think so.
The Ultramarines are Space Romans, though.

Ando, we should totally have a one-on-one duel of the fates in the middle of Melbourne. No one will care if we damage Melbourne.

And once we sort that out, I propose that all Australian marines assemble and create a new forward pack for the Wallabies so we can actually win the Bledisloe/Trinations.

loomer · Post by **loomer** » 2008-08-31 01:40am

Actually, this could really step up the lunar colonization. Space Marines would basically be perfect as First Stage settlers. Extra organs to deal with the lack of medical support, fully sealed suits for EVA and even emergency space 'jumps' to meet up with space craft. Less food requirements, the ability to ignore most toxins (meaning food doesn't have to be so rigorously prepared for storage), more strength for manual labour, and less need for sleep.