Buffy VS Spiderman

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-24 10:41pm

I'm just defensive when it comes to my writings.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-10-24 11:45pm

I gotta give this one to Spidey. He appears stronger and much more agile. He is also, IMO, battling more powerful enemies more frequently. Despite Sarah's natural attractiveness, I think Spidey wins a fight.

RayCav of ASVS · Post by **RayCav of ASVS** » 2002-10-24 11:59pm

Darth Wong wrote:Raycav's necrophilia goes beyond mere sexual perversion and into the realm of major psychological problems.

actually I'm not a necropiliac, just fucking with Spanky's story

RayCav of ASVS · Post by **RayCav of ASVS** » 2002-10-25 12:00am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:DON'T FUCK WITH MY STORY, YOU CUNT!!

The rats have eaten everything.

CUNT?!?!?! WHERE?!

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-10-25 12:02am

Darth Wong wrote:
Majin Gojira wrote:Spiderman eventually pins her to the ground. where it goes from their is anyone's guess.
She's pinned to the ground, I think the outcome is obvious: he fucks her up the ass.

But you shouldn't fuck without foreplay... Hot chocolate and honey sounds good...

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-25 12:03am

RayCav of ASVS wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:DON'T FUCK WITH MY STORY, YOU CUNT!!

The rats have eaten everything.

CUNT?!?!?! WHERE?!

Piss off.

I should kill you for what you've done.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-10-25 12:03am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:DON'T FUCK WITH MY STORY, YOU CUNT!!

The rats have eaten everything.

Oh great. Another wonderful story idea for us to polute our virgin (or otherwise) eyes with. What's next, cameos from Trinity and Mary Poppins?

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-25 01:42am

Spider-Man's married. He's not going to bump with Buffy unless Mary Jane's involved, too...

Spidey sez: "SCORE!"

Post by **Gandalf** » 2002-10-25 05:59am

(Sorry I forgot to mention this was gonna be 5th Season Buffy)

That includes Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Tara, Spike (he can't hit Spidey though)

- The reasoning for the reflexes being great was that she catches knives thrown at here with ease, she does a few times a season.

- For strength, she picked up large girders with absolute ease in "Life Serial", and at the end of that season, she gave Darth Rosenberg a good beating. (I know she lost in the end, but still.) And she picked up that large hammer in "The Gift".

- If Buffy were to go down in combat Willow I guess would turn into DR, and skin Spidey

. (Just as a note, Tara is there too)

- Giles and Xander are just there for comedy value.

Sorry I dont know too much of Spiderman, just what I saw in the cartoons and movie.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-10-25 06:04am

I think that everyone is convieniently (god I can't spell) missing the point. Buffy with the Scooby gang at the end of the 4th season could easily hand Spydie his ass. Buffy at the end of the 6th season, even easier, Buffy stays on the sidelines, points to Spydie and yells to Willow; He killed Tara!

By-by Spydie.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-25 06:06am

Ui....

*Rolls eyes...

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-10-25 06:09am

Ohh, puh-lease. Spydie has no chance against Buffy (plus Scooby gang) 4th season onwards...

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-25 06:11am

Crown wrote:Ohh, puh-lease. Spydie has no chance against Buffy (plus Scooby gang) 4th season onwards...

I know this....I was rolling eyes because...well...I don't remember. Anyways, It's okay. I voted for Buffy, as well.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-10-25 06:12am

Aren't I an ass?

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-25 06:25am

Comic book Spider-Man's powers, from the Marvel Directory (a fansite, but the descriptions are accurate...if you find any discrepancies, speak up):

Know Superhuman Powers: Spider-Man possesses superhuman strength, reflexes, and equilibrium; the ability to cause parts of his body to stick with great tenacity to most surfaces; and a subconscious premonitional "danger" sence. The irradiated Common House Spider (Achaearanea tepidariorum) which bit Peter Parker was apparently already mutated from prior exposure to certain frequencies of radiation and received a final, lethal dose during Parker's attendance of the exhibition. The radioactive, complex mutagenic enzymes in the spider's blood that were transferred at the time of the bite triggered numberous body-wide mutagenic changes within Parker.

Spider-Man's overall metabolic efficiency has been greatly increased, and the composition of his skeleton, inter-connected tissues, and nervous system have all been enhanced. Spider-Man's musculature has been augmentedso that he can lift (press) about 10 tons. His reflexes are faster than an average human by about a factor of 15 (he is often able to dodge bullets, if he is far enough away). Spider-Man is extraordinarily limber and his tendons and connective tissues are twice as elastic as the average human being's, despite their enhanced strength. He has developed a unique fighting style that makes full use of his agility, strength, and equilibrium.

Spider-Man's exposure to the mutated spider venom induced a mutagenic, cerebellum-wide alteration of his engrams resulting in the ability to mentally control the flux of inter-atomic attraction (electrostatic force) between molecular boundary layers. This overcomes the outer electron shell's normal behavior of mutual repulsion with other outer electron shells and permits the tremendous potential for electron attraction to prevail. The mentally controlled sub-atomic particle responsible for this has yet to be identified. This ability to affect the attraction between surfaces is so far limited to Spider-Man's body (especially conetrated in his hands and feet) and another object, with an upper limit of several tons per finger. Limits to this ability seem to be psychosomatic, and the full nature of this ability has yet to be established.

Spider-Man possesses an extrasensory "danger" or "spider" sensewhich warns him of potential immediate danger by tingling sensation in the back of his skull. The precise nature of this sense is unknown. It appears to be a simultaneous clairvoyant responce to a wide variety of phenomena (everything from falling safes to speeding bullets to thrown punches), which has given several hundredths of a second's warning, which is sufficient time for his reflexes to allow him to avoid injury. The sense also can create a general resonse on the order of several minutes: he cannot discern the nature of the threat by the sensation. He can, however, discern the severity of the danger by the strength of his response to it. Spider-Man's fighting style incorporates the advantage that his "spidey- sense" provides him.

Weapons: Spider-Man uses web-shooters which are twin devices worn on his wrists which can shoot thin strands of a special “web fluid” at high pressure. The web fluid is a shear-thinning liquid (virtually solid until a shearing force is applied to it, rendering it fluid) whose exact formula is as yet unknown, but is related to nylon. On contact with air, the long-chain polymer knits and forms an extremely tough, flexible fiber with extraordinary adhesive properties. The web fluid’s adhesive quality diminishes rapidly with exposure to air. (Where it does not make contact with air, such as the attachment disk of the web-shooter, it remains very adhesive.) After about 2 hour, certain imbibed ether cause the solid form of the web fluid to dissolve into a powder. Because the fluid almost instantly sublimates from solid to liquid when under shear pressure, and is not adhesive in its anaerobic liquid/solid phase transition point, there is no clogging of the web- shooter’s parts.

The spinneret mechanism in the web-shooter is machined from stainless steel, except for the turbine component, which is machined out of a block of Teflon and the two turbine bearings, which are made of amber and artificial sapphire. The wristlet and web fluid cartridges are mainly nickel-plated annealed brass. Spider- Man’s web cartridge belt is made out of brass and light leather and holds up to 30 cartridges. The cartridges are pressurized to 300 pounds per square inch and sealed with a bronze cap which is silver soldered closed. The wristlets have sharp steel nipples, which pierce the bronze cap when the cartridges are tightly wedged into their positions. A palm switch that is protected by a band of spring steel, which requires a 65 pounds pressure to trigger, actuates the hand-wound solenoid needle valve. The switch is situated high on the palm to avoid most unwanted firings. A rubber seal protects the small battery compartment. The effect of the very small turbine pump vanes is to compress (share) the web fluid and then force it, under pressure, through the spinneret holes which cold-draws it (stretches it: the process wherein nylon gains a four-fold increase in tensile strength), then extrudes it through the air where it solidifies. As the web fluid exits the spinneret holes, it is attracted to itself electro statically and thus can form complex shapes. The spinneret holes have three sets of adjustable, staggered openings around the turbine, which permit a single line, a more complex, spun web line, and a thick stream. The web line’s tensile strength is estimated to be 120 pounds per square millimeter of cross section. The 300 pounds per square inch of pressure in each cartridge is sufficient to force a stream of the complex web pattern an estimated 60 feet (significantly farther if shot in a ballistic parabolic arc).

http://www.marveldirectory.com/individu ... derman.htm[/quote]

Darth_Shinji · Post by **Darth_Shinji** » 2002-10-25 08:03am

Good discription... except for the speed part. Here is an addmen "far enought away means point-blank range" which it often is. .

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2002-10-25 01:46pm

Darth_Shinji wrote:
* I have yet to accuratly calculate Buffy's deadlift. this is as close as I can get to one right now. I'll figure out more when I get the ASeason 3 DVD set.
Just out of courisity.. how did you calc her strenght? I've never though on my brief familarity with the show that she was that strong. Its pretty cool.

Well. the current formula runs from the only solid number ever given for Buffy's strength: she can run (long Distance) 'approaching' 40mph. applying that number, comparing it to the a human's upper limit (IE: World Record...the only reason I go with world record numbers its to A. Emphasise the fact that because she is "The Chosen One" B. I couldn't find the numbers for an average human)

What I got was something Like this:

She can Deadlift 1.4 tons
She can Run (long Distance) 40mph
She can sprint at 72mph
She can Jump (up) maximum of 25ft. (Supported by Original Shooting Script - She leaps up to a second stroy window of the gymnasium in order to get into the locker room)
She can Broadjump up to 90ft

Durability cannot be calculated until i A) Take more Physics, B) Re-watch several pivitol episodes where she demonstrated Super-Durability ("Anne" - which also has her lifitng something she has trouble with - a iron gate. I need to see it again to see how heavy it probably is, my best gues at this moment is 1.5-2 tons).

Still, my money's on Spidey.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-25 10:45pm

Damn forbidden remote-linking. That's who that picture up there is supposed to be.

Crown wrote:Ohh, puh-lease. Spydie has no chance against Buffy (plus Scooby gang) 4th season onwards...

Maybe "Spydie" has no chance, but Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man isn't going to have any problems, fourth season or no. If we're talking about sixth season Buffy, then we're talking about main continuity Spidey, and I honestly don't see how he can't handle the gang.

I know he sounds too uber-powerful, but I'm not the one who suggested pitting anyone against a Marvel character.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-25 10:54pm

On Spider-Man's leaping abilities (because they seem to be strangely absent in the Marvel Directory quote above), from Marvel's 1994 Spider-Man collectible card set, distributed by Fleer Corp.:

"...[Spider-Man] can jump the width of a city block, or almost five stories straight up..."

It does not indicate whether or not these feats are accomplished in a long jump and high jump or in a broad jump and standing high jump, but regardless, these are impressive feats.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-26 12:50am

Are Buffy's reflexes fast enough to dodge bullets? Because Spidey's are.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2002-10-26 01:36am

Knowing that Spidey's main weakness is that, for all his superhuman abilities, he's still essentially a high-school science nerd who's never gotten any, Buffy wins this fight by showing up in the arena in a halter and leather skirt cut just two inches below her crotch. Slinking up to the poor, confused geek, she wraps herself around him, kissing and stroking him up and down and making that spandex quite uncomfortable for him.

And then, at the moment he's least expecting it, when his brains have turned to goo and he's too addled by his own excitement to listen to his spider-sense, she snaps his neck.

Unless, of course, she actually decides to take him right then and there —and reduces Peter Parker to her whipped puppy-boy.

Either way, Buffy wins.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-10-26 02:19am

Considering Petey's got MJ and they probably fornicate evey night, all night... Buffy wouldn't work that well on him.

Also consider he's probably faced many lust-inducing villainesses in his career and he hasn't succumbed... yet.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-26 03:01am

Yeah, if we're going to be considering the current main continuity Buffy, we have to consider the current main continuity Spidey, not early Spidey or movie Spidey.

In which case, he's no stranger to knockin' Spider-Boots with hot chicks.

Examples:

Mary Jane Watson-Parker

Gwen Stacey

(that one should please RayCav)

Betty Brant

Felicia Hardy

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-10-26 08:55am

aye Spider Man will kick Buffy's sorry ass.

Darth_Shinji · Post by **Darth_Shinji** » 2002-10-26 10:55am

Not to mention even movie spiderman has shown the capibility of thinking with his heard and not with his paints... If he can turn down kirstin dunst... MG trying to rub on him would not make him override his spider seanse that is screaming "danger" at this same moment becuase she is planning on killing him.

Me... yes... Peter Parker... no.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Buffy VS Spiderman

Winner

Buffy, of course