Destroy a sci-fi sword

[loomer]

Actually, on the subject of penis compensation, his character happens to have 15 inches... I'm seeing a pattern here.

And as for the time-warp field, apparently it isn't needed, since he can lift over 3000 pounds and drag over 4000. He's pretty much pure wank.

[Connor MacLeod]

I didnt need to know his fictional cock size. I'm sure many of us could have done without that.

As for his supposed "strength" lifting 3000 lbs is unlikely to cut it for wielding that sword - its FAR too massive to be hefted, much less swung.

and I'm betting this guy swings it supposedly at super-speed too

[Ariphaos]

For the record, swords tend to weigh in the 1-9 pound range. Greatswords, zweihanders, claymores and the like tended to weigh around 7-8 pounds, with some ceremonial models weighing as much as fifteen. Some smallswords barely weighed in at a pound.

See here.

Note that many of the heavier blades are not in fact combat-worthy blades but ceremonial or parade pieces.

[Pollux]

... holy shit... holy shit... holy shit...

I have just lost all hope for humanity as a species by the observation of this senile fool's ramblings.

Wait! I've got it! His character kills people by driving them to commit suicide when confronted with his bullshit! Brilliant!

[Adrian Laguna]

Obviously someone is indulging his bullshit. Really if it's an RP character the best way to deal with it is to say, "Fuck of, we don't want that shit here".

[OmegaGuy]

I've actually read this exact same thing before when someone posted it on spacebattles. The general concensus there was that the thing would explode as soon as you turned it on.

[Meest]

I always say the same thing to anyone who tries to wank out sword weight, most baseball bats barely get over 3 pounds. Go to a batting cage and see how long you last swinging 3-4 bats together, sure the weight distribution is a bit off but you get a sense of how much weight it is to lug around the heaviest 2 handed swords.

[Connor MacLeod]

I've actually read this exact same thing before when someone posted it on spacebattles. The general concensus there was that the thing would explode as soon as you turned it on.

While undoubtably true, I'd suggest that going by the "general consensus of spacebattles" is as reliable as going by the "technical knowledge of OA"

[OmegaGuy]

I've actually read this exact same thing before when someone posted it on spacebattles. The general concensus there was that the thing would explode as soon as you turned it on.

While undoubtably true, I'd suggest that going by the "general consensus of spacebattles" is as reliable as going by the "technical knowledge of OA"

Hey, they made those Green Lantern rings, that would take some technical knowledge.

[Darwin]

I always say the same thing to anyone who tries to wank out sword weight, most baseball bats barely get over 3 pounds. Go to a batting cage and see how long you last swinging 3-4 bats together, sure the weight distribution is a bit off but you get a sense of how much weight it is to lug around the heaviest 2 handed swords.

Though granted a sword tends to be balanced at or just in front of the grip, while a baseball bat is balanced much closer to the business end.

For the record, the heaviest actual battle-useful greatswords couldn't have been much over 5 pounds. http://www.thearma.org has a lot of analysis of historic swords and sword arts.

[Jaepheth]

I'd take this sword, engrave "turn me on" onto the handle, and throw it into an enemy camp.

Though, personally, I'd prefer a light grenade.

[SirNitram]

The worst part is that, if you feel you must have a sword-wielding badass in your sci-fi, there's so many better ways to do it than this frantic masturbation.

Though it really is hard to beat a greatsword with a heavy-fluid core for sheer 'SIT DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER' in a melee battle.(For those wondering: Hollow the blade from the base to near the tip. Fill to about half with a relatively heavy fluid that will remain liquid. Swing: The liquid is yanked to the outside by the centrifugal force and adds to the WHALLOP.)

[Ariphaos]

Though it really is hard to beat a greatsword with a heavy-fluid core for sheer 'SIT DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER' in a melee battle.(For those wondering: Hollow the blade from the base to near the tip. Fill to about half with a relatively heavy fluid that will remain liquid. Swing: The liquid is yanked to the outside by the centrifugal force and adds to the WHALLOP.)

Just some -mild- recovery problems, neh? Ignoring structural and skill issues fighting with something that doesn't have a fixed balance point, there's the slight problem of returning the blade to a ready position.

Because it's a heavy blade (even at seven pounds), it's easiest to hold in a vertical position. You use your off-hand as a fulcrum and snap the blade with your main hand (you also block with the hilt... never got at all good at that).

The snap-action is plenty fast, easily less than a second - I want to say less than half but we never really timed it.

But, you put fluid in there and all it really does is make your weapon even more stuck in your opponent's guts, in addition to being harder to recover in general. It might help bashing through plate but you are also going to have a hard time adjusting the arc of the swing while in motion, making it more predictable.

Me, I'll take a polearm. Thanks.

[Ford Prefect]

Man, where I can see this comedy first hand? Because I need a laugh.

[Eleas]

Though it really is hard to beat a greatsword with a heavy-fluid core for sheer 'SIT DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER' in a melee battle.(For those wondering: Hollow the blade from the base to near the tip. Fill to about half with a relatively heavy fluid that will remain liquid. Swing: The liquid is yanked to the outside by the centrifugal force and adds to the WHALLOP.)

Ah, trying out for that post among the Seekers for Truth and Penitence, are we?

[Imperial Overlord]

They need good men. As they say "if the job isn't done by good men, it will be done by bad." I do like the reply to that at the end of the series though: "I would have it not done at all."

[kinnison]

Jeez. I thought I was being excessive once, putting into a pen-and-paper RPG game scenario a greatsword with a blade and tang made of stasis-shielded neutronium a few nanometres thick. (Tang hollow by the way.) I was wrong - compared with this seetee bomb with a handle.

[NecronLord]

So let's follow the rationale. Composites = good. Neutronium = awesome. Thus, making a composite with neutronium is doubleplus good!

Or as we call it in Star Wars fandom, 'Dura-armour'

[Ariphaos]

Jeez. I thought I was being excessive once, putting into a pen-and-paper RPG game scenario a greatsword with a blade and tang made of stasis-shielded neutronium a few nanometres thick. (Tang hollow by the way.) I was wrong - compared with this seetee bomb with a handle.

...with no appreciable electric field, what do you have besides an invisible, intangible weight?

[SirNitram]

Just some -mild- recovery problems, neh? Ignoring structural and skill issues fighting with something that doesn't have a fixed balance point, there's the slight problem of returning the blade to a ready position.

Because it's a heavy blade (even at seven pounds), it's easiest to hold in a vertical position. You use your off-hand as a fulcrum and snap the blade with your main hand (you also block with the hilt... never got at all good at that).

The snap-action is plenty fast, easily less than a second - I want to say less than half but we never really timed it.

But, you put fluid in there and all it really does is make your weapon even more stuck in your opponent's guts, in addition to being harder to recover in general. It might help bashing through plate but you are also going to have a hard time adjusting the arc of the swing while in motion, making it more predictable.

Me, I'll take a polearm. Thanks.

I didn't say it'd be a good weapon, and I was thinking more of using it to maximize the torque and impact of a lighter weapon than one of it's own size. The problems you mention are all there, but it's far more sensible than most sci-fi swords.

You could always go the opposite direction and project an arbitrarily powerful EM field that exactly duplicates actual matter with a ridiculously sharp blade. Then you're wielding something next to weightless which carries it's own issues.

In the end, just get me an AK-47 style gun that fires in hard-vac.

[Darwin]

In the end, just get me an AK-47 style gun that fires in hard-vac.

No reason it can't as is. You'll need some way to deal with the recoil though, and heat dissipation could be an issue. Some tuning of the design to deal with low-pressure environments may be in order as well.

[Lancer]

The Sword of Plot:

Instructions:
1. Draw sword from sheath, swing around menacingly but relatively ineffectually at a target anywhere from point-blank to 100^100 lightyears away.

2. Enjoy the Gridfiredoken.

3. If that does not work, repeat step #1 until desired intensity of attack is achieved.

[fusion]

Sword of complete wank:

Made of perfect imagination and can do more than what you imagination can ever think of.
Say cool and you control the multi^10^10^10^10 verse
Say Google and a multiverse turns into the greatest pleasure you ever had know

So yeah its wank but much better than that one (I hope)

[OmegaGuy]

The best list of this kind of stuff: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_we ... but_should

[Winston Blake]

Man, where I can see this comedy first hand? Because I need a laugh.

I googled part of the rant and it's just kind of sad really. NSFW (you have been warned).