These clones Suck. I wish I had something better.

chitoryu12 · Post by **chitoryu12** » 2007-07-13 11:39pm

Sidewinder wrote:
chitoryu12 wrote:It's taken this long for someone to say it?

SUPERMAN.

All we need are the Kryptonian genes and we have an army of men of steel. They could just fly into an unshielded Mon Cal cruiser and, I don't know, punch a hole in it? Fly around the rebel base's planet so fast that it goes backwards in time and is never built? Build a new Death Star ultra-fast? Toss a turbolaser into Mon Mothma?
Palpatine will NOT be happy with an army of clones that can easily overpower him or overthrow him. (I know I wouldn't be if I were in his position.)

Bah! Just manipulate their minds to make them slaves!

JointStrikeFighter · Post by **JointStrikeFighter** » 2007-07-13 11:55pm

James Bond

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2007-07-14 12:42am

chitoryu12 wrote:I know! Jason Voorhees!

Just clone the same amount of Pamela Voorhees, kill all the Jasons, then kill all the moms. Provide hockey masks and a variety of bladed weapons.

I'm on a role, so a shitload of Freddies (burn them all and claim that the Rebels did it), an assload of Leatherfaces (tell them that the Rebels are good to cook), and a smidgen of Michael Myers (Immune to lasers? HELL YEAH!).

You...have got to be kidding me. Michael Myers is put down (temporarily) by something as mundane as a screwdriver or a gunshot wound. Anything that blows him to pieces would be sufficient to kill him easily.

Jason is, put bluntly, a joke. Half the species in Star Wars could out-power him, and his prey of choice is teenagers taken unawares.

As for Freddy...
Isn't he a one-shot thing anyhow? There's only ONE Freddy.

chitoryu12 · Post by **chitoryu12** » 2007-07-14 02:13pm

You...have got to be kidding me. Michael Myers is put down (temporarily) by something as mundane as a screwdriver or a gunshot wound. Anything that blows him to pieces would be sufficient to kill him easily.

FOOL! He is Michael Myers! Every time he is shot, burned, stabbed, or some combination of the three he just walks out! He would probably piece himself back together.

Jason is, put bluntly, a joke. Half the species in Star Wars could out-power him, and his prey of choice is teenagers taken unawares.

Still hard to kill. And he's quite strong as well (Smashed a camper's head into the side of an RV hard enough to make an imprint jutting out half a foot from the wall). He's also killed cops and, in Jason X, small-time soldiers. At least, I think there were some in Jason X. Then we have Part 2, where he went after a whole group of bikers. As long as he sneaks up on them, he WILL kill them. And, of course, we have Manhatten, where on the boat he can appear on a balcony one second and drop down with a weapon the next silently.

As for Freddy...
Isn't he a one-shot thing anyhow? There's only ONE Freddy.

Who says? We clone him when he was a human then burn them all and blame the enemy. There's no limit as long as we can put them all in their origin situations.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2007-07-14 03:00pm

chitoryu12 wrote:
You...have got to be kidding me. Michael Myers is put down (temporarily) by something as mundane as a screwdriver or a gunshot wound. Anything that blows him to pieces would be sufficient to kill him easily.
FOOL! He is Michael Myers! Every time he is shot, burned, stabbed, or some combination of the three he just walks out! He would probably piece himself back together.

Michael Myers...who was beaten, repeatedly in the SAME MOVIE, by a teenage girl. The guy's more of a joke than Jason.

Jason is, put bluntly, a joke. Half the species in Star Wars could out-power him, and his prey of choice is teenagers taken unawares.
Still hard to kill. And he's quite strong as well (Smashed a camper's head into the side of an RV hard enough to make an imprint jutting out half a foot from the wall). He's also killed cops and, in Jason X, small-time soldiers. At least, I think there were some in Jason X. Then we have Part 2, where he went after a whole group of bikers. As long as he sneaks up on them, he WILL kill them. And, of course, we have Manhattan, where on the boat he can appear on a balcony one second and drop down with a weapon the next silently.

The point is to suggest soldiers, not spies, not assassins. Someone good to clone for a clone army.

Something else just occurred to me - given Jason's low intelligence, wouldn't he be a BAD idea for any kind of military with more advanced technology than pointy sticks?

As for Freddy...
Isn't he a one-shot thing anyhow? There's only ONE Freddy.
Who says? We clone him when he was a human then burn them all and blame the enemy. There's no limit as long as we can put them all in their origin situations.

Didn't Freddy get his powers from some kind of Dream Demons or something? The films don't make any sense otherwise (why wouldn't ALL of his victims, once he kills them, become ghosts themselves?)

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2007-07-14 03:02pm

JointStrikeFighter wrote:James Bond

Ah but which James Bond? Sean Connerys or Daniel Craigs? But you might end up with Roger Moores or -gasp!- Geoge Lazenbys! The Terror!

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2007-07-14 03:32pm

Lord of the Abyss wrote:Well, if the MC is within the bounds of "normalish" ( I assume the OP means no godlings, Qs or Mickey Finns by that ), then I'll go with Known Space Human Protectors, of my gene line. As long as whatever mental conditioning that makes them obey me is really good.

I'm going to second that one. You'd have to dumb them down a bit, somehow, because otherwise they'd eat your lunch in pretty short order. Still a fine choice.

chitoryu12 · Post by **chitoryu12** » 2007-07-14 06:06pm

Something else just occurred to me - given Jason's low intelligence, wouldn't he be a BAD idea for any kind of military with more advanced technology than pointy sticks?

Not necessarily. In Jason Takes Manhatten, he used a speargun for his first kill. Of course, when he missed, he just stabbed the girl with the gun. So you could give Jason a gun, and when he was out of ammo he would club their skulls in with the barrel.

Kristoff · Post by **Kristoff** » 2007-07-14 07:15pm

I'm surprised nobody mentioned "Chesty" Puller...

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2007-07-14 08:39pm

No one suggested women? I'll take Beatrix Kiddo or possibly Honor Harrington (who I know nothing of except being very wanked out).

kinnison · Post by **kinnison** » 2007-07-14 09:42pm

Battlehymn Republic wrote:No one suggested women? I'll take Beatrix Kiddo or possibly Honor Harrington (who I know nothing of except being very wanked out).

I did.

leloo from fifth element.

Honor Harrington is another fine choice; it is revealed in the books that (spoiler) she is a genetically modified superwoman.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2007-07-15 12:18am

Battlehymn Republic wrote:No one suggested women? I'll take Beatrix Kiddo or possibly Honor Harrington (who I know nothing of except being very wanked out).

Joanna Dark?

DrMckay · Post by **DrMckay** » 2007-07-15 12:24am

Six million Samantha Carters?

pretty, brilliant, and tactically astute,

or the same number of Aeryn Suns

Just plain brutal.

OOOORRR....

millions of Zoe Alleyne Washburnes. (Firefly)

avatarxprime · Post by **avatarxprime** » 2007-07-15 03:22am

chitoryu12 wrote:
Sidewinder wrote:
chitoryu12 wrote:It's taken this long for someone to say it?

SUPERMAN.

All we need are the Kryptonian genes and we have an army of men of steel. They could just fly into an unshielded Mon Cal cruiser and, I don't know, punch a hole in it? Fly around the rebel base's planet so fast that it goes backwards in time and is never built? Build a new Death Star ultra-fast? Toss a turbolaser into Mon Mothma?
Palpatine will NOT be happy with an army of clones that can easily overpower him or overthrow him. (I know I wouldn't be if I were in his position.)
Bah! Just manipulate their minds to make them slaves!

Well, there's also the fact that I think Superman would go beyond the OP rule of "Normal-ish humanoids". Once you're invincible, can fly FTL under your own power, crunch coal into diamond, etc... I think you go beyond the realm of normal-ish

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2007-07-15 01:04pm

DrMckay wrote:Six million Samantha Carters?

pretty, brilliant, and tactically astute,

Holy crap, that's brilliant! I think that's the best suggestion anyone's made, right there.

DrMckay · Post by **DrMckay** » 2007-07-15 04:25pm

thank you.

I just had thhis mental image of millions of new prototype weapons, ships, computer viruses, what have you being unleashed on the Rebels...

Screw one death star, she can blow up a sun!

ShadowSonic · Post by **ShadowSonic** » 2007-07-15 06:28pm

I'd say clone Steve Rogers, powerful but not powerful enough to overthrow Palpatine. Well, not unless all of the millions of him all teamed up but wouldn't they all get into a fight over who would lead them, since they were all Steve and all qualified?

commander owen · Post by **commander owen** » 2007-07-21 02:51pm

for cannon fodder use cnc's Cain. he is one of the few who wont stay dead