Q Offers to Make You a Primarch

[Lord Baal]

HERETIC!! I'll report you to the nearest commissar!!!

[Lord Relvenous]

Surprisingly, I don't think many of the primarchs would stand a chance conquering modern day earth. The ones without magical powers or special gifts certainly not. You see, while Guilliman or Russ might be strong fighters they can't just walk over the planet punching all the armies of earth into submission. Someone will eventually vise up and drop a cruise missile on them. Or a tactical nuke.

O.o The primarchs didn't personally kill all their enemies when they took control of their planets. They gained political and military might, and then conquered the world. Instead of Guilliman immediately going conquering, he would rise through the ranks of a country's politics, get elected to their head of state, strengthen the nation, then go conquering. And that's only if he couldn't get what he wanted diplomatically. He would first try to unite the world under him, but that's not likely to work.

[Simon_Jester]

Yeah, the primarchs were presented as not being just great fighters in personal combat, but also great leaders of men, good at politics and strategy, with intense personal charisma. There's a reason pretty much all of them wound up ruling the planet they crash-landed on as an infant; they're supermen in terms of more than just their ability to win an arm-wrestling match with a tank.

And Purple, your 30k strategy is a mess. For one, you're counting on out-negotiating Tzeentch, who's pretty much the ultimate Malevolent Literal Genie. For another, without the damage and disruption caused to the Imperium by the primarchs' civil war, they're going to be coming after you, and they'll probably win.

[Ahriman238]

Surprisingly, I don't think many of the primarchs would stand a chance conquering modern day earth. The ones without magical powers or special gifts certainly not. You see, while Guilliman or Russ might be strong fighters they can't just walk over the planet punching all the armies of earth into submission. Someone will eventually vise up and drop a cruise missile on them. Or a tactical nuke.

As such, the only realistic choice for the kind of ambition I would have is Magnus the Red. The man has magical powers rivaled only by the emperor and in a world where there is no competition. If anyone could mind control the world leaders into submission it is him. After that, I could set out to reshape this world in my image, one giant statue of me in gold at a time.


As for 30K, the plan would be simple. Find a certain Ahriman while he is still an initiate and kill him. After that, immediately start negotiating with chaos to get the best possible price for the souls of the legion. Seriously, the thing is a convent of sorcerers in a universe where their power comes from chaos. There is no escape in the end. Ergo, the best I could do is make plans to get the most out of it. Also, be best friends with Lorgar. Hell, I would become the guy that introduced Lorgar to chaos just for good measure. Also, advise him not to try and corrupt horus but just pick up the brothers that are a sure deal and head off into the eye of terror to build an empire on our own. The IOM is saved, I am saved and all are happy.

Being a Primarch on modern day earth you would, by default, be the most intelligent and charismatic person in the entire world. Well, maybe not if you were Angron. You could possibly parlay that into global domination, for myself, I don't see a point in being responsible for everything.
I'd much rather be the guy that builds new tech and secretly removes problems for humanities eventual glorious future.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but the entire point of the Heresy was that, after securing the Imperium's physical dominance at Ullanor, the Emperor withdrew to Terra to study and master the Warp. At this point, we went from that race of hairless monkeys to a genuine threat to the Dark Gods, and the threat of the Emperor had to be eliminated.

In short, the Chaos Gods are not going to allow you to collect the Traitors and live peacefully in the Eye, they want the Emperor. Now you might be able to swing a pretty sweet deal by offering them what they want. Maybe you could even find a way to do it without all the pain and bloodshed, but I'd be suprised. Plus, deals with the Ruinous Powers tend to go south a little too consistently for my tastes.

[Sinewmire]

I'd much rather be the guy that builds new tech and secretly removes problems for humanities eventual glorious future.

You mean The Emperor?

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but the entire point of the Heresy was that, after securing the Imperium's physical dominance at Ullanor, the Emperor withdrew to Terra to study and master the Warp. At this point, we went from that race of hairless monkeys to a genuine threat to the Dark Gods, and the threat of the Emperor had to be eliminated.

It also placed incredibly powerful and ambitious beings out of the Emperor's direct supervision, as well as putting a chink in their psyches - Why'd dad leave us?

In short, the Chaos Gods are not going to allow you to collect the Traitors and live peacefully in the Eye, they want the Emperor. Now you might be able to swing a pretty sweet deal by offering them what they want. Maybe you could even find a way to do it without all the pain and bloodshed, but I'd be suprised. Plus, deals with the Ruinous Powers tend to go south a little too consistently for my tastes.

Given that one is a God of bloodshed, seems unlikely. I'd say the current 40k universe is exactly what they want. Laughter of thirsting gods, and all that.

I'm not sure which, or any, of the primarchs I'd want to be. They're all very lonely individuals.

Ferrus Manus seems a decent enough guy, as does Vulkan, and they're both creative and manual-work types, which I like.

[Elheru Aran]

Current-40K obviously isn't exactly what the Chaos Gods want, otherwise they'd be sitting pretty and just defending themselves. They want to, ultimately, dominate the whole galaxy. They don't need other people to fight; Khornates have fun brawling with each other, the Iron Warriors just love to siege each other's fortresses, etc. However, other people *do* pose a certain threat-- the Imperium, the Orks, Eldar, and most of all the Necrons. Tyranids are definitely a threat as well, given that they're useless for Chaos' purposes.

So just eliminating, say, Lorgar or Fulgrim isn't going to stop the Gods; they'll pick some other Primarch to influence and probably even turn your actions against you in the end.

Where the Emperor really fucked up was in not making sure that people knew WHY he was going back to Terra...

[wautd]

Ferrus Manus seems a decent enough guy

The Diasporex would disagree.

[Ahriman238]

Quote:

I'd much rather be the guy that builds new tech and secretly removes problems for humanities eventual glorious future.

You mean The Emperor?

Pretty much. Except, with more of a kingmaker/power behind the throne sort of setup.

Ferrus Manus seems a decent enough guy

The Diasporex would disagree.

Well, he's a decent enough guy for a resident of the 40k-verse. Even in that more enlightened, more innocent time, the galaxy wasn't exactly kittens and rainbows.

[Black Admiral]

Ferrus can be something of a jerk, personally, but the thing is that he knows that and tries to avoid it (his First Captain, Gabriel Santar, was specifically selected by Ferrus because he can take the edge off the Primarch's temper).