Lost in Space. What went wrong?

[CaptHawkeye]

On my last channel surfing romp through HBO, I came accross an old classic that I remeber actually enjoying more in my youth, but now that I am older, can see its many flaws tied in with some things that actually did work. I remember the old series Lost in Space when I was a kid. Sci Fi channel, in a time before the ages when it didn't suck showed a lot of classic series and such before it replaced everything with its original movie garbage.

The movie was fairly interesting, it came out a year before Episode 1 and I was basically using it as a holdover until Star Wars hit theatres.

The movie opened perfectly. We get a cool, if contrived, star fighter battle between a couple of terrorists and our FIRST nostalgic character, Major Don West. A lot of the technology was just kind of stupid, no redundant braking thrusters, fragile complete glass cockpits which were mounted on a rotating gyro. (WHY? They're in SPACE god damnet.)

The next few scenes didn't go so well, they were basically character and plot expositions. I understand the need for this, but these scenes really fell upon the ability of the actors to handle them. And I got the impression from the entire cast that they just weren't trying. Gary Oldman seemed to be the only one putting any effort into what he was doing.

So the movie suffered from generally bad acting, fine. We can deal with just one problem right? Especially because the launch was pretty good, as was the robot rampage. Though Will Robinson being another lame "leet hax" cliche was annoying. But hey, at least the new B-9 robot looked badass.




It was also pretty cool that they got the original voice actor back to reprise his role.

The movie's pinacle came during the Proteus. This part of the movie was *really* creepy. The space spiders were actually pretty scary. I was happy when the scare factor presented by them didn't die out with the end of the mystery. (It's a nasty tendancy in some horror movies that the creature, upon exposition, loses its creepiness or forboding nature.)

Everything on the Proteus was really just awesome. My paticular favorite was when Don West started using that funky armor and blaster. For a few, precious moments there, this movie feels kind of like Star Wars.

And then everything dies again. For one thing, you do *NOT* ditch that awesome new B-9 for a scorpion/homage hybrid. (What the fuck does he need a weather dome for?) Nor do you force us to sit through the second part of the movie AGAIN, (IE: The character exposition part.) this time 3x longer. And because that wasn't enough, we THEN get to sit through an agonizingly half assed wrap up featuring a mutated Dr. Smith, an evil all growd up Will, and an oh-so-tearful reunion between father and son.

Yeah, Will is so god damn smart he can build a fucking time machine, yet he can't figure out Spider Smith killed the girls. For 20 GOD DAMN YEARS. And better yet, what's with this "lol mutated spider smith villain!" shit? Smith was *not* the villian of the series. He became comic relief and even a real friend of Will as the series progressed. Suffice to say, at the end of the movie, Smith doesn't resemble *anything* like his past self.

Oh, and if anyone else noticed, the sound editing in the movie was really, really, shitty. Their were a few instances during the movie you could hear characters talking even though the actor's mouths weren't moving. The soundtrack also sucked ass too.

It's sad really, the movie was doing pretty good during it's opening and during the fucking awesome Proteus sequence. Then it's like the writers stopped caring. The last half of the movie is useless and dull. The actors were hit and miss. William Hurt is normally better, what happened here? Matt LeBlanc basically got to play as, Matt LeBlanc, and Mimi Rogers well, she's never been a paticularly good actress. Lacey Chabert was inexperienced, but hey, at least she's really hot.

EDIT: Oh, and I wasn't entirely certain where this should go. I'm more talking about the movie's problems in writing and acting then in universe things. When in doubt, go off topic.

[CaptHawkeye]

Oh, and ignore that EDIT. I got so into writing I forgot I *was* posting in the OSF forum.

[Chris OFarrell]

Yes. Major West with that uber blaster was the most awesome bit of the movie. That gun kicked ass.

The Spiders and the Proteus were by far the high point. A lot of the buildup to the launch bored me to death and a lot of the sitting around after also board me to death.

And the less said about the whole 'accelerate through the planet to slingshot', the better.

[Drooling Iguana]

And then there was that monkey-thing...

[Spanky The Dolphin]

I thought West's retractable helmet was totally bitching back when the film came out, and I still kind of do.

In the end it's kind of a crummy film that makes a decent thing to watch on TNT or USA on a Saturday afternoon.

Lacey Chabert was inexperienced, but hey, at least she's really hot.

Is or was? 'Cause she was fourteen when Lost in Space was filmed.

Here's The Agony Booth's assessment of the film:
http://www.agonybooth.com/lost_in_space/

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Oh damn, there was supposed to be a ":P" after the Lacey Chabert remark.

[CaptHawkeye]

And then there was that monkey-thing...

I'm going to throw that one in on the list of "Things we don't talk about for the love of our sanity." as recommended by Chris.

My god, Spanky, that Agony Booth review is hilarious.

-John informs us that "Finally, the warring nations of Earth had forgotten their differences and banded together to save our planet." It's just that easy!

-Meanwhile, Dr. Smith sneaks aboard the Jupiter inside a crate that has nothing else in it. Is there a need for empty crates in outer space?

-"You can't kill the man without becoming the monster!" Thanks, Akiva Goldsman, I would have completely missed the point if you hadn't put that line in there.

-He fires a couple of torpedoes, although I don't know what good they'll do against the giant horde of spiders flying at them. My doubts are increased when the torpedoes turn out to pack less power than sparkly fireworks.

-Unfortunately, the only result is more laughter, since his hands and feet barely make contact with the pipe and it's obvious that it's just a dummy being hauled up by a rope.

-(Incidentally, there are huge pieces of rock smacking against the ship here. They all just bounce off, although earlier, one was enough to destroy the entire ship.)

Although, I disagreed with this part.

Also, why bribe a medical doctor to sabotage the mission? It seems like one of their own terrorists could do the job better.

Well yeah, but Smith was a trusted member of the mission team. He would obviously have a much easier time sneaking into and out of the launch facility than any random terrorist.

[DPDarkPrimus]

Man, now I wanna watch this movie over again. Up until the spiders are over.

[Bounty]

I really enjoyed the style of the movie. Most of it hardly made sense, but the curved designs at§ least managed to look very distinctive.

What drags the movie down for me are the gaping plot holes. For instance, it took large crews years to build the Earth ring, but one family is supposed to set up the other end on it's own? The ship conveniently stays pressurized and heated during it's trip, despite the fact that no-one's supposed to be awake during it? No-one notices that with the Robinsons' failure, Earth is doomed and thus not really a place they might want to return to, unless they can get a Jupiter III and IV set up in weeks?

And then it takes a complete left turn into poorly a thought-out time travel plot. One that looked cool, granted, but it had little to do with being, you know, lost in space.

It's still funny how they left Smith's infection dangling, kinda like a giant "INSERT SEQUEL HERE" sign - or maybe they just forgot he was already mutating. All in all, I'd still watch it for the decent scenes (fighter sequence, launch, rampage, flying through the sun, the Proteus and, for all it's silliness, the fly-through-the-core scene) but overall it just didn't come together as a full movie.

[Big Orange]

I liked the hammy Gary Oldman as usual, I liked the unique art direction in the props and sets, the space spiders were great monsters and the special effects were mostly excellent for their day, but it all felt so highly "meh" for some reason. We also didn't know who the Global Sedition actually were as well, even though we saw a smarmy representative in a red suite and few of their mutant goons piloting rogue fighters.

[Ted C]

And then there was that ENTIRELY GRATUITOUS monkey-thing...

Fixed that for you.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

And then there was that ENTIRELY GRATUITOUS monkey-thing...

Fixed that for you.

It actually wasn't 100% gratuitous, since there was an alien monkey creature on the original show; Penny's pet "bloop" Debbie.

Despite that, it is still quite gratuitous because it doesn't have any genuine function in the film, and simply occurs as part of a checklist of "things from the TV show that should be in the movie."

What I really like about The Agony Booth's review is that it really brings to light how much of a sloppy mishmash the film is in terms of script and editing. Really, it's just a total mess, and ends up having the final product make absolutely no sense too much of the time.

[Admiral Valdemar]

Anyone else really like the Bubble Fighter opening scene? I remember my bro got the robot and one of those fighter's (Wests', IIRC) for his birthday that summer since it came out then and we caught an evening showing. It wasn't a bad movie as some make out, but it was definitely missing many things that could have made it more watchable.

At the time, though, it had the most CGI of any movie, something like 700 shots, which was beaten only when Episode I came out. CFC did the effects (changed their name now I think) and a lot of it still looks brilliant today.

And yes, Chabert was hot. I was 14 at the the time too, so it's okay for me to lust after her, emo or not.

[Shroom Man 777]

Last one to get the badguy gets to buy the beer!

[CaptHawkeye]

Anyone else really like the Bubble Fighter opening scene?

Despite the pretty absurd technology, I really did love the opening sequence. It really was the closest thing to Star Wars we'd seen in theatres for a long time.

I remember my bro got the robot and one of those fighter's (Wests', IIRC) for his birthday that summer since it came out then and we caught an evening showing. It wasn't a bad movie as some make out, but it was definitely missing many things that could have made it more watchable.

I still have my toy Jupiter 2. Damn that was a good looking ship. Of course as stated, art direction was not the movie's problem. Lackluster writing and lazy acting were.

And yes, Chabert was hot. I was 14 at the the time too, so it's okay for me to lust after her, emo or not.

I should say more correctly, she was really cute when she was young. If you look at recent photos, she's SMOKING.

[ShadowSonic]

Didn't they mention that there was already some outpost/base on Alpha Prime, and Doctor Robinson was going there to help them in the construction of the Warpgate, not that his family was going to do it all by themselves?

[CaptHawkeye]

Didn't they mention that there was already some outpost/base on Alpha Prime, and Doctor Robinson was going there to help them in the construction of the Warpgate, not that his family was going to do it all by themselves?

During the time of their flight, the hypergate on Earth would be completed, so by the time they arrived teams would be at AP waiting for them. (It was implied that you don't need two hypergates, one would get you there but you couldn't come back.) But I always questioned this. If the gate is going to be completed before or about the time of their arrival, why even do the mission?

It could be a public relations mission to convince people that progress was being made. And to give supporters of the Global Sedition the finger.

[Darth Ruinus]

I remember watching the movie once when I was smaller, and since Im no movie critic, any movie is bad ass in my book when there are spaceship, robots, or explosions.

Anways, does anyone have a link to that shooting scene with that really cool helmet thing?

[Big Orange]

Has anyone else noticed that when Ron Livingston stars opposite a Friends castmember in a movie or TV series, it is very excellent?

[Spanky The Dolphin]

What are you talking about?

[Big Orange]

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Office Space (which had Jennifer Aniston) and Band of Brothers (David Schwimmer as Captain Sobel). Anthing with Matt LeBlanc seems to stink (although Lost in Space was watchable inspite of it's glaring flaws and painful averageness).

[Death from the Sea]

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Office Space (which had Jennifer Aniston) and Band of Brothers (David Schwimmer as Captain Sobel). Anthing with Matt LeBlanc seems to stink (although Lost in Space was watchable inspite of it's glaring flaws and painful averageness).

and where was Ron Livingston in THIS movie?

sadly the only movie before this one that I remember LeBlanc doing was ED as seen here. And after looking at his IMDB career, I see why, the Red Shoe Diaries were never that popular....[/url]

[wautd]

Damn, I just noticed it's from 1998, so almost 10 years. Time flies