SD.net becomes SPACE MARINES! (RAR!)

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-08-29 06:45pm

This RAR! will have a related thread in AMP.

Today, Q decides to fuck about with us and makes every SD.net Member with more than 50 posts that has not been banned into fully fuctional Imperial Space Marines, with all the internal organs and such. We are still mentally ourselves, there is no risk of Chaos Corruption and Q has tweeked the geneseed used to make us so that the girls can still be Space Marines as well (Girls get armor more akin to that of the Adepta Sororitas, but made to space marine standards).

We also each get a fully fuctional suit of Space Marine Power Armor and a series of repair shops in nearby urban centers protected by General Ambivelence fields allows us a safe place to get them repaired and get more ammo. Based on postcount, you also get equipment.

People with 50 to 2500 posts get a standard bolter and Knife
People with 2500 to 5000 get access to Chainswords and Flamers, Space Marine anti tank missile Launcher, heavy and Plasma weapons, as well as being able to get a jetpack suit (Doing so means you get a Bolt or Pistol and Chainsword)
5000-20,000 Regular posters, Bare minimum for Moderators ad senators. get access to all stuff listed so far and and get either standard Armor well as a Space Marine Bike or Land Speeder or get a suit of Tactical Dreadnought (aka Terminator) Armor, as well as Power Weaponry
20,000+ Supermods and Administrators-Get a suit of standard armor, a suit of Terminator Armor and a Predator Annihilator Tank

What Happens?

Zor

Darth Ruinus · Post by **Darth Ruinus** » 2008-08-29 06:53pm

Well, I was going to say nothing at all, since I doubt anyone here is going to attempt to do anything stupid, but, I don't think we are going to abel to hide ourselves very well. I mean, how tall are Space Marines? We'd stick out pretty easily. I doubt we'll get kidnapped, but if someone finds out we do have crazy genetic manipulation and enough firepower to conceivably take out a small police force by ourselves, we could end up in trouble.

Darmalus · Post by **Darmalus** » 2008-08-29 06:58pm

Sell my gun and armor, I'm sure the DoD would be interested in those. Get new office furniture and clothing, because I'm 8 feet tall and 300 lbs now. Submit to medical tests and whatnot, and enjoy the next several centuries being disease free and perfectly healthy.

Darth Ruinus · Post by **Darth Ruinus** » 2008-08-29 07:00pm

Since I a don't really know much about WH40K, I thought the Space Marine armor was permamently stuck on you?

Darmalus · Post by **Darmalus** » 2008-08-29 07:04pm

I'm certain that SM armor is just armor that you can put on and take off, but I think they do have an extra organ (black carapace?) that connects to the armor and lets you control it more easily.

Ohma · Post by **Ohma** » 2008-08-29 07:06pm

I kick Q in the 'nads for turning me into a massive muscled up freak.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2008-08-29 07:07pm

I celebrate having a functioning liver by finally drinking stout. Then, quite naturally, I fight crime and terrorism.

white_rabbit · Post by **white_rabbit** » 2008-08-29 07:19pm

Darth Ruinus wrote:Since I a don't really know much about WH40K, I thought the Space Marine armor was permamently stuck on you?

Chap just below you is correct.

To control space marine brand power armour, you need some form of interface connected to your nervous system. This takes the form of black pseudo-plastic/steel bio-tech implanted in you that covers most of your body, apart from extremities.

nodes from this are used to interface with the electrically motivated fibre bundles that sub in for muscles, which then support an exo-skeleton of plates.

Adeptus Sororitas don't have the same degree of implants, so don't get the same physical enhancements, but still get to lug larger than normal toys.

I celebrate having a functioning liver by finally drinking stout.

Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!

Darmalus · Post by **Darmalus** » 2008-08-29 07:25pm

white_rabbit wrote:Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!

Oh dear, are Space Marines really that high maintenance? Seems like a poor design from a period when they were building water purification facilities that could run for 10,000 years without maintenance (like in that Cain novel I forget the name of, had the bugs and Tau in it).

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-08-29 07:29pm

white_rabbit wrote:
I celebrate having a functioning liver by finally drinking stout.
Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!

That is what the matinence shops are for.

Zor

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2008-08-29 07:30pm

No Thunderhawks? *sigh*

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2008-08-29 07:32pm

something to think about, aren't space marines eunichs or something?

I thought the genetic manipulation really messed with their private parts or some such.

TheMuffinKing · Post by **TheMuffinKing** » 2008-08-29 07:32pm

Darmalus wrote:
white_rabbit wrote:Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!
Oh dear, are Space Marines really that high maintenance? Seems like a poor design from a period when they were building water purification facilities that could run for 10,000 years without maintenance (like in that Cain novel I forget the name of, had the bugs and Tau in it).

Marines are low maintenance. I don't know where he is getting this info from, be assured that most Marines aren't reliant on their armor or medical apparatus to function. This is after full gestation and assimilation of the geneseed of course.

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-08-29 07:35pm

Fails for lack of Land Raider!

Anyway, now that I'm physically fit and no longer technically disabled, I sign up for the military and proceed to purge the heret - er, fight the terrorists.

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-08-29 07:37pm

Darksider wrote:something to think about, aren't space marines eunichs or something?

I thought the genetic manipulation really messed with their private parts or some such.

Nah, they just spend all their time fighting so most of them don't actually have sexual relations.

Exceptions exist, like the Salamanders, who can marry and have children.

TheMuffinKing · Post by **TheMuffinKing** » 2008-08-29 07:37pm

I'd start my own PMC and fight for profit. After a decade or two of this, I'd take over some South American banana republic and become El Presidente, thereby ensuring millions in US foreign aid!

white_rabbit · Post by **white_rabbit** » 2008-08-29 08:12pm

TheMuffinKing wrote:
Darmalus wrote:
white_rabbit wrote:Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!
Oh dear, are Space Marines really that high maintenance? Seems like a poor design from a period when they were building water purification facilities that could run for 10,000 years without maintenance (like in that Cain novel I forget the name of, had the bugs and Tau in it).
Marines are low maintenance. I don't know where he is getting this info from, be assured that most Marines aren't reliant on their armor or medical apparatus to function. This is after full gestation and assimilation of the geneseed of course.

I'm getting my information from Index Astartes mate, which states that Marines can require medical attention for their entire careers, to a greater or lesser extent. Hence the inbuilt medical suite which monitors and supplements their implants and modifications.

Please don't take what I'm saying and blow it out of proportion mind.

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2008-08-29 08:37pm

A very odd website seems to have the exact answer to what this would result in:

Reasonable Marines! ATTACK!

They wear camouflaged power armour, fight using careful tactics that make heavy use of cover, and are the epitome of practicality. They also seek to avoid combat whenever possible and are adept diplomats.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2008-08-29 09:27pm

white_rabbit wrote:
I celebrate having a functioning liver by finally drinking stout.
Well, its possible that once your suits medical supplies run out, you won't have a functioning liver, you might have one that tries to eat your heart or something silly like that. enjoy it while you can!

It will be longer than present operations. So yes, I plan to live it up while I can.

ray245 · Post by **ray245** » 2008-08-29 10:16pm

Eww...I don't want to look so weird...

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2008-08-29 10:39pm

MRDOD wrote:A very odd website seems to have the exact answer to what this would result in:

Reasonable Marines! ATTACK!

They wear camouflaged power armour, fight using careful tactics that make heavy use of cover, and are the epitome of practicality. They also seek to avoid combat whenever possible and are adept diplomats.

Camouflage seems rather pointless in rapid response shock troops who stand 9ft tall, wear power armour that looks like a Christmas tree in IR sensors, use highly visible and loud weaponry, and want to be seen coming so their enemies will have time to soil their pants.

That said, when the circumstances call for it Space Marines can use camouflage netting, low power settings on their suits, and directed heat emissions to hide themselves. It's just that they are mostly a "hit them hard and fast" type unit, sneaking around is usually doing it wrong.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-08-30 05:51am

ray245 wrote:Eww...I don't want to look so weird...

Though Space Marines look abnormal for a variety of reasons (mostly size, but their skeletal enhancements can variously make them look unusual), they can still be found rather attractive to members of the fairer sex. If extremely intimidating.

speaker-to-trolls · Post by **speaker-to-trolls** » 2008-08-30 06:36am

Ford Prefect wrote:
ray245 wrote:Eww...I don't want to look so weird...
Though Space Marines look abnormal for a variety of reasons (mostly size, but their skeletal enhancements can variously make them look unusual), they can still be found rather attractive to members of the fairer sex. If extremely intimidating.

But since a space marine couldn't expect to experience intimacy with one of the fairer sex without pulverising them I'd think that would just add insult to injury.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-08-30 06:44am

speaker-to-trolls wrote: But since a space marine couldn't expect to experience intimacy with one of the fairer sex without pulverising them I'd think that would just add insult to injury.

This isn't exactly a 'woman of kleenex' problem. However, I'm not about to go into the mechanics of a Space Marine having sex with a human woman because goddammit I still have some pride.

To be honest, this is just a curiousity. I lack a lot of what makes a Space Marine a Space Marine. I was not a hero, I was a man. I was never the best a human could hope to be, I was just average. I am not particularly brave or daring. I am not a skilled hunter or warrior, I am not well-versed in the methods and philosophy of battle. I have not studied the Codex Astartes, I have no trained and disciplined myself over a period of decades. I am simply one of the strongest, fastest, toughest men alive with some really cool toys. The fact that I am now close three feet taller than my girlfriend is more of a pressing concern on whether or not I wave my power fist around in the name of the Emperor or not.

loomer · Post by **loomer** » 2008-08-30 07:04am

I take to cleaning up the recent muggings, and then use my new height, strength and endurance to great effect as an actor.

Sure, Heroic Actor X, you're 6'8. That's great for you. Now sit the fuck down because the big boys are here to play.

Ooh, we'd finally have someone who could play a proper Bane!