Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

[weemadando]

So, the basic premise seems to be that a small population of apes (no more than a few hundred) overrun San Francisco and will no doubt somehow end up taking over the world, given that it's the Rise of the damn PLANET of the Apes.

Anyhow, how the fuck did this happen? I'm hoping this movie has a really good explanation for how they weren't trapped on a nice convenient isolated area (the SF peninsula) and wiped out. Hell, even once they busted out, it's not like they can really go to ground effectively, I'm sure the decade or so of hunting insurgents in Afghanistan/Iraq will make tracking and taking out a handful of crazy goddamn apes with spears in Northern California a piece of piss.

Anyhow. Rant done. Your input is appreciated.

[FaxModem1]

Honestly, I stopped having interest as soon as I heard that woman's lines in the trailer. How medical science is wrong, how doing that kind of stuff is bad, etc. Frankly, I hope the character gets diagnosed with something and an experimental treatment is all that can help her. Then I would like to see how she reacts.

[Skylon]

I was sitting next to my buddy who is in the Army when this trailer came on. I turned to him and said "So you can't do a damn thing against apes, huh?"

For Gods sake, humans have guns.

This movie looks really bad, based on the trailer. But on the plus side, I'm thinking it could be so bad it becomes good MST3K fodder.

[weemadando]

The new trailer has an interesting setup with the potential for some interesting sequences where the ape is questioning whether he is a pet and his place in the society in which he finds himself.

But seriously folks, here's the answer to your ape problem.



I'm sure that you can find no shortage of choppers and guys trained in shooting out of them. Hell, bring in Sarah Palin for a publicity stunt.

And that's without even going for gunship platforms, or y'know AFVs or anything like that.

[Srelex]

Virus maybe? Incidentally, the new trailer apparently greatly outclasses the previous one.

Perhaps they'll just go crazy and have gorillas ripping miniguns and missile launchers off the sides of vehicles and going to town. Silly, but awesome.

[TheHammer]

The entire premise of the 70's original was that man destroyed himself allowing the "evolved" apes to take over. Even in the later movies it was never implied that the apes themselves overthrew humans, they would occaisionally revolt but it was still nuclear weapons that "finally really did it". So if this movie ends any way other than an eventual smackdown of the ape revolution then it would be severely disappointing...

[Minischoles]

Well one of the trailers has SWAT teams rolling in armed with automatic weapons and fucking choppers to fire from. And yet somehow we're supposed to believe that a couple of hundred smart apes armed with spears are going to overthrow all of this and enslave humans. Unless this super medical tech also makes them bulletproof, it kind of beggars belief.

[Crossroads Inc.]

The entire premise of the 70's original was that man destroyed himself allowing the "evolved" apes to take over. Even in the later movies it was never implied that the apes themselves overthrew humans, they would occaisionally revolt but it was still nuclear weapons that "finally really did it". So if this movie ends any way other than an eventual smackdown of the ape revolution then it would be severely disappointing...

I've been thinking that since the beggining. The whole "point" of the original movie was Humanity was stupid and killed itself off, so apes took over and built a better world.

The only two "logical" outcomes I can see is either:
A: The uprising is put down, but humans kill themselves off and THEN the apes take over, or
B: The apes somehow go 'skynet' and launch nukes that wipe Humanity out.

Unfortinatly, I think there is going to be a "Virus" cop out that kills off the Humans and lets the Apes take over...

I really don't see any other way of ending this movie other then those three without seriouslly screwing the orginal premise.

[weemadando]

Well one of the trailers has SWAT teams rolling in armed with automatic weapons and fucking choppers to fire from. And yet somehow we're supposed to believe that a couple of hundred smart apes armed with spears are going to overthrow all of this and enslave humans. Unless this super medical tech also makes them bulletproof, it kind of beggars belief.

Yeah, that's the one I watched.

But you see the apes are smarter.

Because the humans are so dumb as to fly a helicopter within jumping range of a silverback.

But like I said, you put a bunch of folks with guns on each bridge/tunnel on and off the peninsula and set a land boundary a ways down it... AND PROBLEM SOLVED.

Sure, it'll be a shit time in San Fran for a while, but it's not like this is a particularly hard situation to deal with.

OH WAIT.

I just figured it out.

PETA and the ACLU will stop them from trying to wipe out the horde of angry super apes and thus allow earth to fall. Somehow. Because, there's totally land bridges between the Continental US and the rest of the world right. And I'm sure that a horde of intelligent apes is going to last more than 30 second in, say, East Africa where everyone has an AK and a deep, deep hunger for proteins.

[Ahriman238]

If the apes are as intelligent as humans, containing them for any length of time will be difficult. They may start out with spears, but how long can that last when they have access to a major city? Eventually they can develop tactics or technology to overcome any obstacle that doesn't kill them all first.

Choppers? Hook shot. Ocean? Boats.

Sure, humanity should be able to killfuck them before they have much chance to adapt or improvise, but what would you say if you heard a desperate plea for military assistance to control some monkeys? Confusion should keep anyone from just launching cruise missiles for at least a day or two.

[That NOS Guy]

If the apes are as intelligent as humans, containing them for any length of time will be difficult. They may start out with spears, but how long can that last when they have access to a major city? Eventually they can develop tactics or technology to overcome any obstacle that doesn't kill them all first.

This is true, but how long does a group of several hundred incredibly obvious, completely unarmed, insurgents last?

Sure, humanity should be able to killfuck them before they have much chance to adapt or improvise, but what would you say if you heard a desperate plea for military assistance to control some monkeys? Confusion should keep anyone from just launching cruise missiles for at least a day or two.

And on day two a cruise missile gets launched. But this assumes the local PD is unable to put them down, which in of itself is already crazy beyond belief.

[weemadando]

If the apes are as intelligent as humans, containing them for any length of time will be difficult. They may start out with spears, but how long can that last when they have access to a major city? Eventually they can develop tactics or technology to overcome any obstacle that doesn't kill them all first.

This is true, but how long does a group of several hundred incredibly obvious, completely unarmed, insurgents last?

Indeed, they are COMPLETELY incapable of blending in with the populace and are reliant on non-verbal communication.

RECIPE FOR SUCCESS.

Sure, humanity should be able to killfuck them before they have much chance to adapt or improvise, but what would you say if you heard a desperate plea for military assistance to control some monkeys? Confusion should keep anyone from just launching cruise missiles for at least a day or two.

And on day two a cruise missile gets launched. But this assumes the local PD is unable to put them down, which in of itself is already crazy beyond belief.

Confusion lasts approximately five minutes. Big city = news choppers and live coverage.

The moment the first ape gang spears a cop/murders a family live on TV a killfucking of epic proportions would be coming down on them.

[Purple]

The moment the first ape gang spears a cop/murders a family live on TV a killfucking of epic proportions would be coming down on them.

And that is assuming the ape does not just get shot. It happens in America remember? The place where almost every family has a gun. I can imagine the apes being massacred by civilians before they ever reach the news.

[Ahriman238]

True, the point was they will be unarmed for exactly as long as it takes them to stel or make weapons. In every version of Planet of the Apes I've seen, the Apes were perfectly capable of using tools and weapons, in the first I believe they even had rifles.

Confusion lasts approximately five minutes. Big city = news choppers and live coverage.

The moment the first ape gang spears a cop/murders a family live on TV a killfucking of epic proportions would be coming down on them.

News coverage tends to create a lot more confusion then it resolves. Plus, I'm pretty sure the immediate reaction of people to the news that there are hundreds of apes rampaging in a major city is to assume the cops can handle it. Anything about the apes being intelligent will be assumed to be a hoax, moreso if this world ever had the Planet of the Apes movie.

And on day two a cruise missile gets launched. But this assumes the local PD is unable to put them down, which in of itself is already crazy beyond belief.

Ever heard of the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878? It will take a lot more than two days to settle the question of who's jurisdiction this is. So long as it is a matter for law enforcement or local authorities, the military cannot become involved without an Act of Congress specifically allowing it in this one case. Even if they became involved immediatly, bombing a city with over seven million people in it to deal with a few hundred apes seems extreme. We know, because this is Planet of the Apes that this is a matter of humanity's survival, somehow. DOn't expect the people in the movie to know that, or to react that way.

[Kamakazie Sith]

You know there's more to marksmanship than picking up a gun, pointing it at someone, and firing it. However, lets just ignore the finer points of firearm marksmanship and just assume the apes are just as good as your average major city patrol officer. Individual officers will have problems but the radio will bring reinforcements quickly. Once those reinforcements arrive you will have groups of patrol officers working in units to put down the ape rebellion. Patrol officers in major US cities are trained to deal with bands of roaming terrorists, or trained to deal with active shooters while working as a unit. The apes have no such training and will be limited to voice communication. In the end you'll probably have a dozen or so dead/wounded cops and hundreds of dead apes and people wondering what the fuck just happened...

Eventually other special reinforcements will arrive and these will include air support, tactical teams, and armored vehicles. Eventually, if things are bad enough the national guard will be brought in.

There is simply no way that a couple hundred apes could do anything substantial. You'd need millions across the country, and even then that wouldn't be enough to stop the inevitable full scale military deployment.

[HMS Sophia]

I saw the advert yesterday or something...
In that advert, I saw a bunch of unarmed apes running down what looked like the golden gate bridge towards a line set up by the police... There were also more heavily armed police in helicopters. This is ridiculous. I hope someone tells of the plot once it's out, because I certainly wont be going to see it.

[streetad]

Maybe this is all going on at a time of rapidly escalating nuclear tension? Although that probably wouldn't be 'relevant' and 'relatable' enough so they probably will go down the route of it being a 'virus' or some such.

[Bedlam]

I'd have the film end with the Ape uprising mostly crushed by the humans apart from a few surviving in the wilderness. However, instead of killing all the Ape's humans decide to enslave them, why out source your labour to the third world when you can just use Ape's, as their not humans its not really slavery, or so the thinking goes.

Then you can have another film set several ape generations later when humanity has gotten careless and the apes numbers have grown and they have better access to things like guns and killer viruses.

[Spoonist]

Seems that people missed that planet of the apes was a whole bunch of movies plus a tv series in the seventies.
This is what inspired the latest remake
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068408/
not the original.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

And that is assuming the ape does not just get shot. It happens in America remember? The place where almost every family has a gun.

I think you know a lot less about San Francisco than you think you know.

[Purple]

And that is assuming the ape does not just get shot. It happens in America remember? The place where almost every family has a gun.

I think you know a lot less about San Francisco than you think you know.

Doubtful, considering that I think I know nothing about the city but it's name.

But I really think someone has to look at that angle. America is full of guns. Those guns are bought by Americans for the explicit purpose of self defense. Is the American public really going to stand around and navel gaze whilst a bunch of apes destroy their society? Now I am not saying that the average bin man is going to pull a machine gun out of his hat. But come on, surely at least the street gangs would do something. (and it would make for great television)

[Zac Naloen]

Has anyone considered that maybe the Ape's don't actually win in this particular movie?

A great ending would be that they all die but an animal rights rescues and releases one of these guys into the wild. Allowing evolution to take it's course.

[TOSDOC]

I haven't read the script, but has anyone thought to reach for the tear gas and pepper spray first, before all the guns and bombs and cruise missles? Wouldn't anyone in the movie want to take such intelligent apes alive first, so they can survive to claim the world when we actually do nuke each other? Maybe the movie's just about the setup for the intelligence and an exciting uprising that got put down but not exterminated.

[SAMAS]

Has anyone considered that maybe the Ape's don't actually win in this particular movie?

A great ending would be that they all die but an animal rights rescues and releases one of these guys into the wild. Allowing evolution to take it's course.

Well I was thinking maybe more than one escaping.

But yeah, you can't get much out of where the story ends just from the trailer, so assuming these guys are gonna straight up take over the world alone is a bit premature. The bridge scene may be an infamous massacre for the Apes.

[Srelex]

Amusingly enough, here is a related viral video made for the film.