Battleship trailer.. I can't believe I just typed that

[SylasGaunt]

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/battles ... 1#belowNav

So the first trailer for Battleship has been released. I will say while I find the idea of making a movie out of a boardgame ludicrous it is nice to see the Navy getting to blow the aliens up for once.

[eion]

my brain hurts now. Must go read something thought-provoking before my frontal lobe tries to crawl out of my nose.

I hope Liam Neeson enjoys the new kitchen his salary shall surely buy him...

[lance]

That movie might just be awesome.

[Metahive]

Unless there's a scene where the two opponents fire blindly in each other's general direction, what kind of connection will it have to the boardgame? Two fleets at war, OK, but by that logic I might as well call Tora Tora Tora a Battleship adaption.

Another thing, does that mean Pac Man and Minesweeper movies are finally on the radar?

[AniThyng]

Unless there's a scene where the two opponents fire blindly in each other's general direction, what kind of connection will it have to the boardgame? Two fleets at war, OK, but by that logic I might as well call Tora Tora Tora a Battleship adaption.

Another thing, does that mean Pac Man and Minesweeper movies are finally on the radar?

Surely "You sunk my battleship!" will be inserted somewhere. The boardgame is pretty abstract anyway, so any adaptation is sure to involve only the most tenous of connections.

Clearly also this takes place in an AU where the Iowa's are still in service, given that the last of them IRL decommissioned long before the Burke class Sampson DDG-102 went into service

[HMS Sophia]

Surely "You sunk my battleship!" will be inserted somewhere.

Neeson will shout it angrily when the aliens take out an Iowa. And it will be hilarious.

+1 internet if they manage to insert a pair of crewmen playing battleships in the background...

[AniThyng]

Surely "You sunk my battleship!" will be inserted somewhere.

Neeson will shout it angrily when the aliens take out an Iowa. And it will be hilarious.

+1 internet if they manage to insert a pair of crewmen playing battleships in the background...

Thinking about it, it would have been even more amusing if this and Battle:LA could have been shoehorned to be the same universe. It certainly looks like this is going to be the Navy version of such. Also with some interesting pandering to Japan, given the high visibility of the JMSDF in the trailer.

(On a side note, how many people do you think will get all outraged at the fact that the JMSDF still uses the same "Rising Sun" flag as the IJN? )

[Dartzap]

I see Kanastrous has been playing with his toys again

[NecronLord]

my brain hurts now. Must go read something thought-provoking before my frontal lobe tries to crawl out of my nose.

I'm not sure what's so terribly outrageously stupid about this?

[Formless]

How did they go from a classic board game illustrating the Fog of War to a story about the navy fighting an alien spacecraft they ran across during wargames?

[Losonti Tokash]

How did they go from a classic board game illustrating the Fog of War to a story about the navy fighting an alien spacecraft they ran across during wargames?

Wild speculation suggests that it made some kind of shield so they can't leave and has totally scrambled their sensors.

[Eternal_Freedom]

If it has Liam Neeson and Iowa battleships, I'll give it a shot.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Ghetto edit:
"prepare to fire...."
"Sir, which weapons?"
"All of them."

My interest just went up. I'll definitely give this one a shot, especially if I can get in as disabled with a free carer like I did with Harry Potter

[Srelex]

Unless there's a scene where the two opponents fire blindly in each other's general direction, what kind of connection will it have to the boardgame? Two fleets at war, OK, but by that logic I might as well call Tora Tora Tora a Battleship adaption.

The alien bomb things looked kinda like the pegs from the game.

[the atom]

So the first trailer for Battleship has been released. I will say while I find the idea of making a movie out of a boardgame ludicrous it is nice to see the Navy getting to blow the aliens up for once.

Yeah pretty much this. Most sci-fi flicks tend to forget about the Navy entirely (even the airforce as seen in every zombie movie ever).

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

I like how they added sports scenes, racing scenes, and a romantic subplot to Battleship. Truly, those Hollywood men are wizards.

[eion]

my brain hurts now. Must go read something thought-provoking before my frontal lobe tries to crawl out of my nose.

I'm not sure what's so terribly outrageously stupid about this?

Because it's taking something that has absolutely no literary content, no characters, no plot, nothing and crafting all this out of whole cloth because some mid-level idiotic exec at some studio thought one day, "Hey! I just saw CLUE on Netflix last night. That was a great movie, and it was made out of a board game! LUCY, Call the board game companies and option the film rights to every board game they've got! I can see the one-sheet now!" Clue at least had characters, there was a conflict inherent in the board game. There was something to build on.

Let me put it another way, if you were told the next summer blockbuster would be "TIC-TAC-TOE!" Would you not think that was the worst idea you had ever heard and that whichever empty suit greenlit such a trite piece of celluloidic-flotsam ought to be dragged out into the street and mocked? Battleship has no characters, and the only conflict is "Who will win the game."

It is the definition of banal. Perhaps it's no worse than other crappy movies, but that is all the more damning of the useless garbage Hollywood shovels out year after year. We know they can do better when they try, I just hate seeing people encourage them to make more crap like this by seeing it.

[Erik von Nein]

I am totally going to watch the crap out of this movie. A giant game dome? Radar/sonar/whatever that can't see the alien ships? Cliche-ridden nonsense? Ah, hahahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, sweet jebus. It is all dependent on how straight they play it.

[Skgoa]

This looks more like Crysis: The Movie to me, actually.

[Shroom Man 777]

Man, you could actually make a compelling movie about Minesweeper. Like, EODs in Iraq, the dangers they face, the trials and tribulations and such in a gritty and realistic presentation and how their lockers get hurt or whatever. Guest starring Princess Diana.

So THIS was why Kanastrous was asking about those JSMDF destroyer bridges.

[Lost Soal]

It is the definition of banal. Perhaps it's no worse than other crappy movies, but that is all the more damning of the useless garbage Hollywood shovels out year after year. We know they can do better when they try, I just hate seeing people encourage them to make more crap like this by seeing it.

The reason you keep getting stuff like this is because when they actually make something truly different, no fucker watches it.
E.G. "Buried" Really good film, the whole thing focuses on one guy, in a box, with a crappy mobile. It was different, it relied on actually acting ability, and the North American audience went Fuck Off.
US Domestic Total Gross: $1,044,143

[LaCroix]

Another thing, does that mean Pac Man and Minesweeper movies are finally on the radar?

Well...
edit: Link was broken

OT: And I'll definitely give the movie a chance...

[Guardsman Bass]

I think I'll actually watch this when it comes out, as silly as it looks. The first part of the movie looks like it will be painful to sit through, though.

Because it's taking something that has absolutely no literary content, no characters, no plot, nothing and crafting all this out of whole cloth because some mid-level idiotic exec at some studio thought one day, "Hey! I just saw CLUE on Netflix last night. That was a great movie, and it was made out of a board game! LUCY, Call the board game companies and option the film rights to every board game they've got! I can see the one-sheet now!" Clue at least had characters, there was a conflict inherent in the board game. There was something to build on.

You could make a similar argument about the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, which was based off of a ride with no story nor characters - just random pirate scenes. That movie was entertaining and funny nonetheless with its wholly inserted story.

Battleship's similar lack of a story is actually a strength for this type of movie. They can insert whatever story they want, and even make the "battleship combat" special effects however they choose.

[bz249]

Depending on how seriously they treat themselves this can be a good popcorn movie. Anyway an Iowa in action is a really nice sight.

[eion]

Because it's taking something that has absolutely no literary content, no characters, no plot, nothing and crafting all this out of whole cloth because some mid-level idiotic exec at some studio thought one day, "Hey! I just saw CLUE on Netflix last night. That was a great movie, and it was made out of a board game! LUCY, Call the board game companies and option the film rights to every board game they've got! I can see the one-sheet now!" Clue at least had characters, there was a conflict inherent in the board game. There was something to build on.

You could make a similar argument about the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, which was based off of a ride with no story nor characters - just random pirate scenes. That movie was entertaining and funny nonetheless with its wholly inserted story.

Yes and no. While the characters may have been original, the general feel of the movie is really Monkey Island all over, which was in turn inspired by the book On Stranger Tides, which they used for the fourth movie. Now find me a Battleship video game that adds plots and characters some of which make it into this dreck and you might have a point. This is still TIC-TAC-TOE: THE MOVIE!

And I'll freely admit to being hesitant about POTC when I first heard of it, but sometimes gambles pay off. The Country Bears, a movie written on the same formula of "Let's take a theme park ride and create a plot around it", certainly didn't. Once in a while, you can turn straw into gold in Hollywood, but most of the time you just end up with slightly yellow, burnt, compressed straw.
Name me another theme park ride that was turned into a successful and well-written movie and we can keep talking.

Battleship's similar lack of a story is actually a strength for this type of movie. They can insert whatever story they want, and even make the "battleship combat" special effects however they choose.

Which begs the question of why the hell they even bothered to option the Battleship rights? If they’re getting no characters, no plot, and the vaguest of thematic content possible why even call it “BATTLESHIP: THE MOVIE”? Why not make a straight Us vs. Them storyline about a fleet trapped under an energy shield by aliens? Ah, but then I remember that empty-skulled executive sitting in his office dreaming with his cock (Doesn’t have a brain to think with, does he?) about the merchandising, the tie in board and video game, and all the idiots who’ll plop down 7 bucks either to enjoy what looks like a “KICK-ASS movie, and look at the babe” or as an ironic gesture towards their inner child.

Hollywood does not do original well. They do not enjoy playing in a wide open sandbox. They want known and popular storylines, character archetypes, etc. I predict formulaic conflict, predictable production design, and dialogue I have heard a thousand times before.

I have been entertained and captivated by Hollywood before, and by popular movies no less, and I just hate to see people waste themselves on crap like this that will be forgotten in a year. I saw nothing at all in this trailer that made me go, "Wow, I really have to see this movie!" And if you can't do that in a trailer, where they almost always pick the best parts of the movie to ruin for you, then I have very low expectations of the film in general.