Batman (or your favourite character) vs unarmoured Dalek

[Tribble]

Seeing as the "Dalek in a breakable/escapable glass jar" idea has pretty much been run through (try to kill it before it breaks out, run away or let it kill you), what if Q gave your favourite character the Dalek instead? For the purposes of this post, assume the Dalek is fully contained and cannot escape on its own.

Serious posting and pants are optional.

Btw, thanks to Necronlord for suggesting the idea!

[Eternal_Freedom]

Well in my case this turns into Q giving the Doctor a dalek in a jar. What happens depends on the version. If it's Ten, he'll be all "i'll show you some compassion." If it's Nine, the War Doctor, Seven, Six and possibly Three or One he'll find a way to kill it, with Seven tricking it into ending itself, Three comign up with a technical solution and One being grumpy about it.

The other alternative is for Indiana Jones to get one, in which case a rapid .357 to the eye socket is in the Dalek's future.

[Purple]

The Dalek is promptly released and handed a new transport machine. At least that is what I assume that my favorite character (A Dalek) would do under the circumstances.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Actually that depends on which Dalek is your favourite and which is in the jar. If the favourite one is a Time War era it might simply exterminate the jar-Dalek for not being sufficiently Dalek-y.

It only gets worse if it's one of Davros' re-engineered Daleks (of either incarnation). You might wind up sparking a civil war.

[Purple]

So I would have Daleks fighting other Daleks in a massive fit of Dalek on Dalek action? Sign me up!

[Eternal_Freedom]

Yeah that would be cool until you get caught in the crossfire.

[Purple]

Yeah that would be cool until you get caught in the crossfire.

Everyone has to die some time.

[Tribble]

I'd like to see Captain Planet try to teach it the values of heart, friendship, and living in a pollution free zone.

[PREDATOR490]

Dont see this being any different than the other scenario
A: The person kills it
B: The person tries to control / tame it and succeeds
C: The person tries to control / tame it and fails

[Tribble]

Technically speaking you are missing 2 options: the person could simply free the Dalek for fun, or the Dalek could try to kill itself.
And you are incorrect: it was established in the other scenario that the only option was to immediately kill the Dalek as it was in a glass jar which it could likely escape from. Not only that, but the chances of a regular human pulling off B was basically 0%. The topic had run it's course: in real life you'll have to kill it.

Annnnnd, I was specifically told that my silly comments about Batman were spam so I should go and make my own topic if I wanted to see how creative people could get when having their fav character interact with a Dalek. So yes, it's supposed to be a similar scenario, just one where you won't get burned for not getting the "right" answer. I mean c'mon, It's Q giving your fav character a Dalek! I guess I follow the MST3K mantra too much

Speaking of which, if all five rings of power are used, Captain Planet will literally be composed of the power of heart. I think he would be far more obsessive than even Superman in trying to convert the Dalek to his cause, especially as Q had put the Dalek in his care. If the power of heart works on a Dalek, he could conceivably mold it into being one of the next Planeteers! Though if I remember correctly, that power only really works on non-sentient animals. Far more likely that Captain Planet's mere presence will be enough to send the Dalek into a screaming fit of terror/rage. And if Captain Planet starts lecturing, expect the Dalek to eventually beg for mercy. I know I would!

[Eleventh Century Remnant]

What is this 'favourite character' you speak of? I have walls lined with bookshelves, having a single favourite character would be like having a favourite brick. What I did was generate a random point on a grid and map to my no.2 shelf.

The first time, anyway- I came up with two quite interesting possibilities. Out of a myriad fantasy, SF, drama, thriller, even the odd spot of crime, old textbooks, histories, what does the random finger of destiny point to? Frickin' Dilbert. Well done, you have won the worst company to work for award for the third decade running, give that man a Dalek.

In fact, I'm far from certain that it would make any difference at all- or that it hasn't already happened. Replacing the Pointy- Haired Boss with a dalek mutant would be an improvement; just as bafflingly, incomprehensibly hostile but probably more pleasant to work for. Letting Wally, the immovable object of slack and underachievement, mentor the dalek would do it irreparable psychological damage, Alice would probably punch it to death, and the garbage man, now, there would be an interesting experiment.

I have to say something about dalek intelligence here. They're not that smart on an operational basis. What they have is immense potential for intelligence, and potential only; I think that in a ruined world, after all the books have been burnt, they were supposed to be able to rederive from first principles that which had been lost. Except that they never really got the chance.

The genetics are there for it, but they're starved of the input they need to develop it by the fact that they constitute a desperately impoverished, monomaniacal, narrowly- focused culture; they are born into a world of searing hate in which creativity and curiosity are thoroughly and violently discouraged. They could learn, but they won't; they are crippled by their personalities to in many cases being suicidally stupid.

Take a newly budded mutant, before its' fellows have implanted- inculcated?- in it the typical dalek personality, let it grow on its' own. Give it no chance to feed it's natural aggressiveness, try and raise it with a love of learning, and that might be the best chance anybody has of finding the metaphorical snowball in hell. Dilbert's garbage man might be the very being to do it.


The second attempt turned up- I'm going to ruin my reputation like this- another bloody cartoon; mapped to shelf block 5a as Ogami Itto. You should know him, the title character of Lone Wolf and Cub. Now, this is interesting because he is archetypally a man on a mission. A man who has given away or turned his back on everything in life that does not carry him closer to his goal, and never gives in to the hardships on his way. What does he do with an out of context problem like this dropped in his lap? (Q may be in serious danger here- Ogami has killed the buddha, and been paid well to do it too.)

So we have a dalek mutant in a slightly fictionalised Tokugawa era Japan, in the hands of one of the deadliest assassins of the age- a man who destroys entire ninja clans with superior skill, speed and utter ruthlessness. The dalek might think it has come home.

On the other hand, in an age when it was actually going out of fashion to be a warrior, at the beginning of a long period of more or less peace when the only flashing blades were those used to backstab, Ogami, although of ronin status, is a samurai through and through- utterly imbued with the spirit of bushido. That may be beyond the dalek's comprehension- beyond the ability of it's temperament to grasp.

I could see an agreement to differ here, assuming there was no duel involved; the dalek being of some use as a partner in assassination, then deciding to go their separate ways as Ogami continues on his blood splattered path of meifumado. The dalek would probably end up running the yakuza, or possibly rebuilding the shogunate's secret police corps. Maybe both.


For a real laugh, if I mapped the point of the second attempt onto the shelf set used for the first? That would have ended in the VPL edition of the collected Karl Marx.

[Simon_Jester]

What is this 'favourite character' you speak of? I have walls lined with bookshelves, having a single favourite character would be like having a favourite brick.

Aaaand sigged.

For a real laugh, if I mapped the point of the second attempt onto the shelf set used for the first? That would have ended in the VPL edition of the collected Karl Marx.

I wonder what Marx would make of Daleks; they are technologically sophisticated beyond comprehension, they should be good socialists, yet they're so devoted to extermination that they cannot have a true, functional economy.

I am nowhere near as familiar as I'd like with Soviet science fiction, but I can't shake the feeling that this would have been a chronic problem with it- the Party line is that technologically superior aliens should be good socialists... but alien minds are or ought to be alien, and some of them will be alien enough that a human conception of socialism makes no sense in their context.

[Eleventh Century Remnant]

It's not so much a matter of technology as of organisation, of ownership of the means of production- of obtaining and distributing that technology; and individual daleks have virtually no authority, no control over their own lives (nor except in rare cases do they even wish it), they are loyal to their actual authorities to the point of being expendable. They exist in an essentially feudal state, trapped at that stage of history by their lack of individuality. They have used their superior technology to avoid needing to progress.


I'm not the best person to ask about soviet era science fiction, but from what I do know the censorship went through waves of repression and slackening, and- rather like soviet humour- the censors and writers were aware that they were playing with a double edged blade, trying to use it against the west without allowing it to cut themselves, and not always successfully.

The Strugatskys did a series that centred around what are for want of a better term communist missionaries, Progressors, setting out to try and aid and uplift the galaxy- the back- burnered trek AU I started and need to do more of at some point was heavily influenced by that. There are a few cases of very alien aliens, and frequently they are used not as things in themselves but as mirrors for humanity- cosmic inkblots into which humans read what humans will, creating human drama thereby.

There is definitely less of it, but much of what there isn't is the pulps, the mass market, low- concept blurge that gets read and forgotten minutes later anyway. The volume is low but the minimum standard seems high.

(If I did the same mapping thing with shelf group 6, the undoubtedly very confused dalek ends up with either Pontius Pilate or Spike Milligan.)

[Simon_Jester]

I'm starting to feel sorry for that Dalek.

[Ahriman238]

Far too many "favorite" characters to count. When I read the OP the first name that leapt to mind was Nathaniel Garro, I'm we all know what he would do with a xenos.

The Doctor would either destroy it out of hand or have an episode of trying to rehabilitate the helpless Dalek before ultimately being forced to destroy it.

Most of characters I can think of would try and understand what the Dalek is, where it's from, and ultimately would destroy it.

[GuppyShark]

Kyle just takes it to the Guardians and they put it in their Inescapable* Space Prison.

Assuming he's still a Green Lantern and still reports to the Guardians, and isn't like a Fuchsia Lantern now or something.