New "Have a TARDIS" RAR!

[Crossroads Inc.]

So sure, we have done these before... And usually they end up with people trying to plan how to get rich, or explore the universe, or advance modern science and tech... But actually changing history? Well, that is often a rarity...
So...

How about a Different set up for our TARDIS, one that is specifically tailor made for those wanting to muck about in the Time Space Continuunimuumnum!

To begin with, you never need to worry about a Paradox. Any changes to the time stream simply result in the creation of a new alternative time line, AKA, a new parallel universe. These different timelines can be “Saved” to the TARDIS’s computer. If you make a change, and it turns out you cause the world to get nuked because of it, well you can travel back to the universe just before the change was done, like loading a “Save file”

So you can do trial and error changes to the time line over and over again, safe in the knowledge that no matter the outcome, you will still have a “Saved” universe to go back to.

The TARDIS itself is also FULLY FUNCTIONAL. No errors in traveling, no random things exploding, no ending up 5 years late when you wanted to go back in time 5 minutes. Nope this one is in perfect working order!

What’s that you say?
It’s only YOU changing history, HOW are you going to do it all by your self???
Well…. THIS TARDIS is coming with a bunch of helpful goodies specifically made to help you change history however you see fit!!!


A fully automated living mater manufacturing center, able to replicated almost anything you could imagine to use. From period correct money, to precious metals, to historical artifacts that have been lost or destroyed.

Your TARDIS also comes with a group of four HIGHLY Loyal Kamelion androids. Sapient robots capable of looking, or acting like virtually anyone. Need to blend in with the locals? Want someone to record 1000 years of history and not get bored? Looking for someone with the same amount of backbone as C3PO when it comes to following orders? Kamelions is your man! Or, android…

You also get a set of personal “Magic” devices to ensure your ease of changing history!

Bracelet of Ultimate Invulnerability
Linked to the Nigh on Invulnerable TARIDS Force field, this bracelet has an advanced AI system that can “sense” attacks about to take place against you. A stray bullet, an arrow shot, even the occasional Meteor strike! It will be able to keep you from physical harm. Also, should you fall into a situations of danger, it can be used to summon the TARDIS to spirit you away!

Elixir of Ultimate Health
Because not ALL harm comes in the form someone shooting at you…
To start with, It also infuses you with a highly regenerative chemical!
Accidently tripped and broke your neck? Not to worry! You will be up and about in no time! It also greatly extends your life span. Aging about three times as slow as you normally would.
This Elixir will also ensure 100% immunity against all the germs, bacteria, and viruses from the totality of history! From the dawn of time to, whenever, you needn’t worry about such things as Small Pox, the Bubonic Plague, Typhoid, or Scurvy!
Conversely, it will protect OTEHRS against anything you might be carrying! Visiting the Native Americans with a slight cold? No worries about ending up killing several million with the disease! Well, THIS time…

Ring of Ultimate Hypnotic Suggestion
Because let’s face it, at the end of the day changing history is about changing what people do! And how better to do that then a wonderful ring that can make anyone obey any command by you. Naturally the ring has various failsafe built in. It can be used ONLY be you, and cannot be used against you,. And of course it is completely harmless, no worries of frying someone’s brain if you use it too much!

SOOOOO!!!
You for those wanting to change history? Here’s your CHANCE!

[InsaneTD]

I would be the new emperor of the planet, cause that would allow me to fulfill my plans for world domination. And that's as far as I'm going to explain it.

[Purple]

This.

Seriously, you have given us the ultimate tool of domination and the means to perfect it. First of all, I would travel into the future until I find a way to make my self truly immortal. Once that is done, I would return to the past and start building an empire of man dedicated to the religious worship of their unaging, unsickening and unkillable god. Seriously, what better demonstration of my divinity is required than allowing any doubters to stick me with a sword? I would even openly invite them to do so in front of large crowds of people.

Once my reign is set up I would employ knowledge from the future to advance the human race into a technological golden age where science is seen as the ultimate ideal. The means to explain the universe I own. I would than use machines and men alike to build my self a giant self sustained palace in the Himalayas from which I would reign whilst being served on by an army of maids aged 18 - 30 who religiously devote their existence to my well being. And once they pass the age of 30 they would be granted leave to return to their homes and spread my gospel as the apostles of my religion who having seen me in person (and have undergone brainwashing) would speak to their people of my glory.

And just in case anyone ever thinks about rebellion I would make sure to keep a decent social service system in place that keeps birth records for me to use and jump back a bit to stop the ringleaders from ever being born.

[madd0ct0r]

you forgot the 'create 20 superhumans in my image to act as my generals when we invade the universe'

[Borgholio]

1. I would try to find a way to become FULLY immortal.
2. I would find a parallel universe that had no sentient life whatsoever, and set that as my power base. I would build factories, war machines, starships, combat troops (mmm....Terminators...) etc... These I would use if I ever encountered a universe where military force was required.
3. Once my power base is established, I would travel the universe and spend part of my time making tweaks to timelines to try and improve the way things turned out (see the RAR about befriending Hitler so he doesn't turn into a mass-murderer).
4. The other part of my time I would fuck around with timelines just to see what would happen. For instance, destroy the asteroid responsible for the K-T impact and see what the dinos eventually evolve into, have the planetoid Theia moved into a stable orbit around the Earth instead of smacking into it 4 billion years ago and see how that changes the evolution of the world, etc...
5. Give our current Earth regular updates on things I discovered (geology, history, evolution, etc...) to help boost the speed of scientific advancement (no future tidbits...I want to be selfish when it comes to screwing with my own Earth...).

[Purple]

you forgot the 'create 20 superhumans in my image to act as my generals when we invade the universe'

I'd be content with controlling earth and having human kind toil endlessly in a socialist utopia built in my name. With the worship of me serving as a way of ensuring people feel a religious fanatical duty to contribute according to their abilities and claim according to their needs.

This said, I would visit alternate timelines and pluck the best artists (Michelangelo, Leonardo, Picasso, Hitler...) to work in my palace in a paradise for art and culture.

Overall just think of me as a really loving god that enforces his love with an iron fist.

[Simon_Jester]

Too many powers. It's not an interesting challenge; there's no thought involved.

[Purple]

Too many powers. It's not an interesting challenge; there's no thought involved.

Nonsense. The though is figuring out how best to abuse the power given to you.

[Eternal_Freedom]

1. Go to the future, become immortal.
2. If Gallifrey and the Time Lords exist in my universe, go back to their early history and saturation-nuke the planet, I don't want bastard Time Lords fucking up my plans.
3. No that I'm fully immortal, I'll do that whole "absorbing the energy of the Time Vortex" bit and becoming a literal God.
4. Return to present-day Earth. Hypnotise all world leaders and unite the world into a new British Empire (for the lulz).
5. Umm....sit around for eternity being worshipped in a similar fashion to what Purple described, but with more orgies.
6. Occasionally experiment with other timelines for a laugh.

[Ahriman238]

I'm not a God-Emperor and have no desire to be.

I'd probably start off fairly small, just touring history. Watch the original Titanic launch, attend every World Fair, listen to Socrates and Jesus from their own lips instead of second or third-hand accounts written years later. For that matter, go meet Siddartha. Pretty much try to cram in every historic event, answer every mystery, meet everyone I've wondered what it'd be like to meet personally. Help out here and there with the most obvious injustices, maybe divert some trains from Auschwitz and Dachau to the border after providing more air holes, food and water and similar acts.

The main thing is to experience humanity, all the highs and lows, and see if that changes my perspective any. Before I decide on any major changes or playing god.

After that, who knows? The whole point after all is to see what changes with some perspective. Might go back to the Bronze Age and set up my idealized utopian culture with advanced technology, particularly if I can duplicate the life extension elixir. Then check in every century or so and see what changes. The operative part of a utopian society being that it can endure without help from time-travelers.

[Crossroads Inc.]

So far Ahriman is winning
Kudos for NOT immediately wanting to become god emperor of the universe

I always feeling exploring the depths of history to be worthy goal in itself.
Attending all the big worlds fairs is also another huge one on my own list. Especially the ones prior to 1940 or so.

It's also nice seeing people thinking about Just HOW to change history as opposed to saying "I make X happen"

[Starglider]

I'd be content with controlling earth and having human kind toil endlessly in a socialist utopia

Well at least you admitted that 'socialist utopia' is inherently oxymoronic.

The implications of creating an entire new universe on each timeline change are staggering. The entire population of earth history (forward of the point where you diverge) just popped into existence and possibly the entire population of the universe, depending on exactly how it works. Anyone doing so has literal parental responsibility for all the people created, an incomprehensible moral burden. I mean, just looking at humans on average most people are glad to exist so if the new timeline is not significantly worse than the original it is probably a huge ethical positive, but even still I think you have a responsibility to try and ensure a good life for all the people you just created. The technology mentioned can easily be leveraged to create an actual utopia of at least Culture grade, in the original and/or any new timelines, and it would really be criminal not to do so.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Hence the "become an immortal benevolent God-Emperor" part of the plan. It allows you to basically save the entire multiverse from death, depravity, war, famine and so on.

[Crazedwraith]

Man, is it wrong/sad that my first thought on seeing time travel and hypnosis was go back and make sure the TV shows I want weren't cancelled and stuff like that? More seasons of Angel! Seasons of Firefly etc. mind wham the Stargate Atlantis PTB to stop constantly rotating the cast.


... I'm both petty and nerdy.

[Eternal_Freedom]

In fairness, my first thought was to go back and save the lost Doctor Who stories, for two reasons:

1. Obviously, I want to watch them
2. I'd love to see Chuck's (SFDebris) reaction when I show up at his house with a copy of "Power of the Daleks."

Of course there is no reason I can't save them after becoming God-Emperor of the Multiverse.

[Crazedwraith]

For added monkey paw goodness: Give it to him in real player format.

[Enigma]

Become a troll of epic proportions. Taking the name "Madman with a blue box" to insane levels. Undoing the bolts or rivets from key parts of the Eiffel Tower during its inauguration and laugh maniacally as it comes crashing down. The Statue of Liberty would have so much holes punched through from the Tardis that it would collapse.

Egyptian Pyramids? Raid it the moment they're sealed and destroy it until the Egyptians give up on pyramid building.

The first car? Sabotaged. First train? Boiler somehow filled with potent explosives. Big Ben? Not anymore! Tower of London? Mess with the building plans so that it would collapse during construction.

And so on, and so on. Human achievement spoiled by the madman with a blue box.

[Spekio]

The socialist utopia from Superman: Red Son. There.

[Purple]

I'd be content with controlling earth and having human kind toil endlessly in a socialist utopia

Well at least you admitted that 'socialist utopia' is inherently oxymoronic.

The implications of creating an entire new universe on each timeline change are staggering. The entire population of earth history (forward of the point where you diverge) just popped into existence and possibly the entire population of the universe, depending on exactly how it works. Anyone doing so has literal parental responsibility for all the people created, an incomprehensible moral burden. I mean, just looking at humans on average most people are glad to exist so if the new timeline is not significantly worse than the original it is probably a huge ethical positive, but even still I think you have a responsibility to try and ensure a good life for all the people you just created. The technology mentioned can easily be leveraged to create an actual utopia of at least Culture grade, in the original and/or any new timelines, and it would really be criminal not to do so.

Honestly I don't really care about that "responsibility". I would be content to pick the one timeline where my plans turn out right and leave the others to their own devices. Hell, I would not even be adverse to sacrificing a few universes on experiments until I get the formula right.

I am not doing this to help people. I am doing it so that people would worship me as their savior.

[Eternal_Freedom]

For added monkey paw goodness: Give it to him in real player format.

I was going to burn a DVD but that works too

Also, Enigma, that plan is entertaining and also psychotic, since it will inevitably kill a lot of people. Of course you could then save them with your God-powers but I think I'll stick with the plan of dominating the entire universe in a multi-species Empire where everyone is treated equally and worships me (because I actually do things to help my people rather than sitting on a cloud occasionally throwing a hurricane at people).

[Simon_Jester]

Purple, I'm honestly curious: why?

[InsaneTD]

See, I don't want to be worshipped or even live forever. Two to three hundred years would be lonely enough for a man with so much power. I don't want brainwashed sycophants for company.

[Purple]

Purple, I'm honestly curious: why?

Well basically I know my self. The RAR has me being given the equivalent of ultimate power. And knowing my self I can freely admit that said power would corrupt me ultimately. Aside from that I am a decent writer/roleplayer who knows how to imagine and write a character based on knowledge about him. Thus it's relatively easy for my self to imagine and describe a character which roughly matches what I would act like if corrupted utterly by such power.

So really, I guess that if you were talking to the "me" that would come out of being given that kind of power the best reply would be asking "why not?"

[Enigma]

For added monkey paw goodness: Give it to him in real player format.

I was going to burn a DVD but that works too

Also, Enigma, that plan is entertaining and also psychotic, since it will inevitably kill a lot of people. Of course you could then save them with your God-powers but I think I'll stick with the plan of dominating the entire universe in a multi-species Empire where everyone is treated equally and worships me (because I actually do things to help my people rather than sitting on a cloud occasionally throwing a hurricane at people).

I just want to see how humankind fares if every single major or significant achievement was prevented from succeeding. For example, blowing up Fatman and Little Boy at a crucial point when most of the scientist who helped develop the bombs are nearby.

Since I can "reload" the universe, no real harm done. Mind you, I'd simplify it by having a red reset button so anytime the Earth is roaylly screwed, I'd just press the button and undo it all.

[Simon_Jester]

Purple, I'm honestly curious: why?

Well basically I know my self. The RAR has me being given the equivalent of ultimate power. And knowing my self I can freely admit that said power would corrupt me ultimately. Aside from that I am a decent writer/roleplayer who knows how to imagine and write a character based on knowledge about him. Thus it's relatively easy for my self to imagine and describe a character which roughly matches what I would act like if corrupted utterly by such power.

So really, I guess that if you were talking to the "me" that would come out of being given that kind of power the best reply would be asking "why not?"

And my reply would be "no, seriously, what's the point of making other people do what you want? 'Why not' isn't an answer, it's a refusal to consider the question seriously."