Mysterious Vending Machines RAR

[Formless]

On the first of June this year (2014) all around the world and most particularly in cities, a new vending machine mysteriously appears in mass distribution on streetcorners, at shopping malls, outside of marketplaces, etc.. They are marked with this symbol but no other apparent branding. They appear like a combination ATM machine (with keyboard) and classic gumball machine.

When activated, the screen asks a quick series of questions about the user's gender and preferences, including (most importantly) what kind of pets they like (if any; the quiz ends automatically if not). After this process, for a small fee (any regional currency equivalent to 80¢) it will dispense one pokeball roughly the size of a golf ball containing any one of the basic starter pokemon from generations I through VI OR either a pichu, ralts, or eevee. Which pokemon is dispensed depends on the user's preferences (note that it is possible when the question of pet preferences comes up for the user to simply state which pokemon they wish to obtain, but this is not stated at any time during the quiz). The machine will also dispense an electronic owner's manual for taking care of their new pet. The pokemon is young, and will immediately imprint upon the person who bought it even if they decide to abandon it for whatever reason. The pokemon will also instinctively protect its new owner like a guard dog; however, if abused they may cease to do this or even attempt to dominate the abuser. All of these pokemon are essentially domesticated, and will accept their new environment as readily as dogs and cats. This will remain true even if they evolve; note that for simplicity, pikachu, eevee etc. do not need evolutionary stones to evolve (the owners manual contains instructions and explanations).

The machines, if studied closely, do not run off the grid, and some of them may even be found in places where vending machines are not normally found, such as on the sides of roads. They are protected from vandalism by an invisible forcefield that extends 10cm away from the machine and allows slow moving objects such as human beings to approach, but not thrown objects or bullets. This forcefield is also how it identifies potential customers. The computer, if studied, runs a custom version of linux, and besides the main menu for new customers it also has other functions. Among them is a "shop" feature for previous users: the machines are networked with each other and can identify previous buyers of a Starter pokemon, and will only allow purchase of a second starter if the buyer is registered as a parent (as determined in the personal quiz). Other items for sale include feed, berries, medical sprays, and various types of pokeballs, although the last kind of products are locked until october 1. All items are contained in small one use pokeballs. Other programs on the machines include a help menu, a minesweeper clone, and an "About" program.

If the "about" function is activated, it will display the following text:

"On September 5'th 2013, the foolish human Cyrus succeeded in capturing Arceus and bent him to his will. With that power, Cyrus created a rift in time to take himself to a place he could remake in his spitting image. I made my way to the rift and with the help of a master trainer named Red, we looked inside to find where it lead. Fortunately, it seems that Cyrus met resistance from the Distortion World, delaying his plans. However, with the army he has created through Arceus power, it has become obvious that it will not be long before he and his army of pokemon, he will soon be able to invade by the billions. I am sending these machines and the cloned pokemon contained within in the hopes that they will help your world resist the coming change. But I can already see the initial waves approaching the temporal boundaries. In a matter of months, the birds will arrive in the millions; and then the fish in the months after that; and the seeds and plants after that. In a year, I fear the rest will no longer be held back, and you wll be on your own.

"With ironic hope; Mewtwo."

By October, bird pokemon start appearing all around the world (primarily on the North American continent, Europe, and Asia) just as predicted, with a starting population of ~1mil for each bird species listed in the pokedex except those listed as legendary status. This coincides with the date when pokeballs start being available for purchase.

How would you react to this event? What do you do? What do you think would happen socially and ecologically?






Note: I'm treating this as a sci-fi RAR, and with good justification IMO. on that note, as a ground rule anything overtly ridiculous in the pokedex should be treated as if the phrase "it is said" were implied by the author, I don't want to deal with the usual "charizard's firebreath can melt STEEL!" type of crap some fans use to shut down discussion as if this were Looney Tunes. Also, no anime references for the same reason, unless it is to Pokemon Origins since it was one of the inspirations to finally go ahead with this idea. Those not familiar with pokemon can follow the links to Bulbapedia, the community wiki for the fandom.

[SilverDragonRed]

As long as I get an Eevee, I'll be ready for the looming apocalypse. Would I be able to get a second eevee to start breeding a family of them?

[Formless]

Well, the pokemon aren't very old yet, so its unlikely it would be suitable for breeding anyway. However, if you read the Help menu, you might find clauses related to obtaining multiple pokemon for breeding purposes. But again, the pokemon you obtain from the vending machine is young, just like any starter.

As for the poll, some of the options are (semi)serious (doom, fun, COCKFIGHTING if you think that's going to be an issue, and if enough people think this sounds familiar I can explain), some are just supposed to be silly as a gauge of how people see the thread. That's why everyone gets two votes (and why its only a three day poll).

[Ahriman238]

Why do I get an option?

Oh well, I fell off after gen 2. I think I'll get a bulbasaur or an eevee. When the world starts filling up I'll just work to keep my friends, family and people in my immediate vicinity safe.

Legendaries may not number in the millions, but are they present at all? Sort of a game-changer, people keep telling me later gens have legendaries that are effectively gods.

[Simon_Jester]

My Pokemon's first challenge will be to intimidate the dogs upstairs to stop barking.

My wife would want a pet Jigglypuff. I will begin scheming to find a way to arrange this.

[Formless]

Why do I get an option?

Test of memory. Never mind. You failed it. Buuuuuuuut if anyone else did something like this I would have wanted to know.

Legendaries may not number in the millions, but are they present at all? Sort of a game-changer, people keep telling me later gens have legendaries that are effectively gods.

They are part of the story of the RAR (at least, that's what the "about" function of the vending machines indicates). So no.

Also, the second generation introduced a time traveling legendary, so the Gods of Sinnoh aren't unprecedented.

My wife would want a pet Jigglypuff. I will begin scheming to find a way to arrange this.

Its going to be many months before most of the fairy pokemon start appearing in the wild (at least until October; but then you don't know that until October), so you'll have to plan pretty long in advance.

[biostem]

I only ever played the 1st Pokemon and watched the cartoon a little when it first came out. My thoughts:

It'd be great to have these mostly intelligent and loyal friends around, but people WILL try to militarize/weaponize them. I could also see them being a real force for good - things like unlimited clean water or for use in generating power. There would definitely be an issue with people misusing some of the psychic-type pokemon - whether to control people or for good old fraud/theft.

Once people start to catch on, I wouldn't be surprised to see the government barricading access to said machines, in hope of restricting access. Things like animal rights groups would crop up, since these creatures are basically animals + weapons in one.

I also think people would not hesitate to simply kill other "trainers" if things became inconvenient.

On a lighter note, they'd make some awesome pets, for those who are responsible, loving friends to them...

[Simon_Jester]

I've always been unclear about how intelligent they are. They emote quite effectively even if they don't have a meaningful spoken language (could you teach a Pokemon sign language). And there are plenty of indications that at least some Pokemon species are intelligent.

[biostem]

I've always been unclear about how intelligent they are. They emote quite effectively even if they don't have a meaningful spoken language (could you teach a Pokemon sign language). And there are plenty of indications that at least some Pokemon species are intelligent.

That one cat taught itself how to talk, and all Pokemon, as far as I can tell, know to use specific abilities by verbal command, (though that could just be a trigger word, without them actually "knowing" what the word means).

[Mr Bean]

Why do I think it's just going to end in Genocide?
Now I can predict the reactions of some large part of the population.... holyshit alternative dimensions!
The rest of the pokemon watching population this is going to be nuts, seriously imagine you common criminal with a walking adorable flamethrower?
Screw it I'm getting myself an Eevee and hoping for the best that we end up with an Espeon before shit hits the fan.

But in actuality I suspect a quick government organization thrown together under homeland security to monitor Pokemon and these machines and efforts will be made to study them for nothing else than a real life active force field and cloning. Never mind the later stuff like spray on healing potions and the like. As for the wild pokemon something tells me we would quickly organize a reaction force after the birds show up ready to tranquilize and capture them by the truck full.

*Edit at Simon
And some of them can read minds and think words at humans which makes it even trickier

[Enigma]

I'd choose one that is either electrical based or fire based. Power failure? Pikachu to the rescue! Need some heat? Why hello Charizard!.

I wonder if there is some sort of cattle Pokemon and are they tasty?

[Purple]

I'd choose one that is either electrical based or fire based. Power failure? Pikachu to the rescue! Need some heat? Why hello Charizard!.

I wonder if there is some sort of cattle Pokemon and are they tasty?

Electrical > fire. You can make an electric heater much more easily and safely than you can a thermoelectric generator.

[Formless]

I've always been unclear about how intelligent they are. They emote quite effectively even if they don't have a meaningful spoken language (could you teach a Pokemon sign language). And there are plenty of indications that at least some Pokemon species are intelligent.

That one cat taught itself how to talk, and all Pokemon, as far as I can tell, know to use specific abilities by verbal command, (though that could just be a trigger word, without them actually "knowing" what the word means).

Its like batman and comic book characters. It differs between interpretations, and there are more than one officially licensed manga and anime. In one manga ALL pokemon can talk because its a comedy, in the Adventures manga, Pokemon Origins, and the games none can talk (they just make appropriate animal sounds), in the original anime with Ash Ketchum only Team Rocket's Meowth can talk and most others can only say their name (intelligent legendary pokemon can sometimes use telepathy) but they apparently have some kind of ability to communicate complex concepts between each other that only N (a recurring character and antagonist in the games) and Meowth can understand, and in the Mystery Dungeon spinoff game series no humans appear and pokemon speak english (or japanese, etc.) amongst themselves. The one thing that is consistent is that they can emote quite well with humans (who are sometimes implied to share common ancestry with pokemon) and that they can understand verbal commands given by trainers.

For this, I thought it was best to go with the more animal-like interpretation found in Origins (I think this would be kinda what a charmander would look like for instance). But for plot purposes, obviously Mewtwo and possibly the Sinnoh "gods" are an exception because he was made to be highly intelligent by his human creators. Basically, he's Frankenstein's monster, but more powerful. And I've given him his cloning technology from the Pokémon: The First Movie.

Why do I think it's just going to end in Genocide?

Could you clarify? I can't tell whether you mean genocide for us, or genocide for the invading species.

I wonder if there is some sort of cattle Pokemon and are they tasty?

Heh, this is almost as inevitable a question as the cockfighting issue. Miltank and tauros.

[biostem]

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that the government doesn't lock down these vending machines and allows people to get pokemon, but they have to license/register them. Do you think some could qualify as "helper animals"? Is there a way to level up your pokemon without making them fight? Would people have to get extra insurance if they had certain ones, (I'm thinking like extra riders for fire or electric pokemon kept indoors).

I wonder if fights would be tightly regulated - then there'd be the inevitable creation of underground fighting leagues. Do pokemon have anything equivalent to fingerprints or DNA evidence? I mean, if a psychic pokemon could implant a suggestion into someone, you'd have a nearly perfect form of assassination - implant a suggestion to jump off a bridge or something, and it'd be utterly untraceable. Others would be equally destructive, but a lot less subtle - send your charizard on a strafing run to wipe out someone you don't like, (though this would make anyone with such a pet an obvious suspect, but depending upon their speed and range, could result in a huge potential search area).

[Formless]

Once people start to catch on, I wouldn't be surprised to see the government barricading access to said machines, in hope of restricting access. Things like animal rights groups would crop up, since these creatures are basically animals + weapons in one.

It would probably be difficult for the government to deal with ALL the machines around, since they are all over the world wherever human beings live. Its not just the US that is effected, but Europe, Japan, and China as well.

But lets put a number on that. Lets say that there is about 1 machine per 46 people in the US and Europe (or in other words half the ratio of all vending machines per person in Japan; if anything the ratio probably needs to be less there). That means a little under seven million machines appearing in the United States, and not just in major cities. Like I said, some of these are appearing on the sides of roads in the middle of nowhere (though the distribution is not fully random, it is clustered to mostly urban areas).

Do you think the government can really confiscate that many pieces of property in a short period of time? And do this before its basically too late to prevent mass ownership?

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that the government doesn't lock down these vending machines and allows people to get pokemon, but they have to license/register them. Do you think some could qualify as "helper animals"? Is there a way to level up your pokemon without making them fight? Would people have to get extra insurance if they had certain ones, (I'm thinking like extra riders for fire or electric pokemon kept indoors).

Leveling up is an abstraction for the sake of game mechanics. Presumably, trainers actually use more conventional teaching methods, with battles being for the sake of practical experience in the (*cough*) sport. Plus they do learn in the wild, and in the games there is the Day Care which levels them up over time without any effort (but for a fee). So battling isn't strictly necessary.

I imagine that bulbasaur, chikorita, and other grass types with prehensile vines would make for useful helpers. There are also plenty of primate and hominid pokemon (though among the starters, most of those are fire types). And eevee and its evolutions are mammals like dogs, cats, or racoons, so you could probably have them do a lot of the same jobs as dogs currently do. Plus some considering vaporeon is an outright gilled amphibian and espeon is psychic type.

The machines store their own network database of customers to record purchases of starter pokemon and user preferences.

I wonder if fights would be tightly regulated - then there'd be the inevitable creation of underground fighting leagues. Do pokemon have anything equivalent to fingerprints or DNA evidence? I mean, if a psychic pokemon could implant a suggestion into someone, you'd have a nearly perfect form of assassination - implant a suggestion to jump off a bridge or something, and it'd be utterly untraceable. Others would be equally destructive, but a lot less subtle - send your charizard on a strafing run to wipe out someone you don't like, (though this would make anyone with such a pet an obvious suspect, but depending upon their speed and range, could result in a huge potential search area).

Pokemon have DNA, yes. Even those that don't look organic in nature like rock types and ghosts are supposedly biological lifeforms that can all be mimicked by a ditto or a mew.

Also, there is no psychic ability/attack that I know of that allows for mind control. There are plenty that cause "confusion", put people to sleep, and even a couple that manipulate dreams and nightmares (Dream Eater and Nightmare). But the only pokemon that are even hinted to have that level of control over the minds of others are mostly legendary pokemon, like the Lake Trio.

[Mr Bean]

Could you clarify? I can't tell whether you mean genocide for us, or genocide for the invading species.

Genocide for the incoming wild pokemon. As in repurposed M3A1 Halftracks with quad .50cals sitting in fields on Emergence day ready to mow down wild Scythers or anything else that could be a threat to human life. I don't think there won't be mass pokemon ownership but rather what comes after that will be an orgy of military Murica. Elsewhere I think people could not wait to start rounding up, grounding up and starting to snort or inject Pokemon byproducts to discover the next real or fake heath craze.

Didn't you know if you boil Venomoth wings you can make the best psychedelic in existence? No? How long till someone tries?

[bilateralrope]

I wonder if fights would be tightly regulated - then there'd be the inevitable creation of underground fighting leagues.

The main difference between pokemon fights and cockfighting is the risk of collateral damage. So I'd expect an outright ban on any attempt at a 'sport' of pokemon fighting.

As for underground fights, those will limit the pokemon they let fight. To powerful a pokemon means collateral damage, alerting the police and harming the spectators.

[Mr Bean]

As for underground fights, those will limit the pokemon they let fight. To powerful a pokemon means collateral damage, alerting the police and harming the spectators.

As brawl in the family reminds us. Some of these Pokemon have literal built in death ray attacks. Heck Sand shrews have localized earthquake attacks and that's not getting into Pokemon who can bend steel I beams with their bare hands or can fire literal lighting bolts.

[Formless]

I think it might be worth noting that in most of the official media, there seems to be a stated or understood difference in the playbook for sport battles where there are referees or (in Origins) medical sensors to keep everyone and their pokemon safe, vs battles with thugs where nothing is held sacred. Lt. Surge talks about shocking human soldiers in wartime, Team Cipher in Orre (i.e. New Mexico) target people indiscriminately, and we even see Lance Hyper Beam a Rocket grunt into a wall during an official investigation by the Pokemon League in Silver/Gold using his Dragonite (which also indicates Hyper Beam is either not that powerful, or his dragon knows how to use restraint).

We don't have those playbooks, though. If we even allow people to use pokemon for self defense, we would have to write those playbooks ourselves.

[bilateralrope]

I think it might be worth noting that in most of the official media, there seems to be a stated or understood difference in the playbook for sport battles where there are referees or (in Origins) medical sensors to keep everyone and their pokemon safe, vs battles with thugs where nothing is held sacred.

The official media also has children being sent out into the world alone to take part in pokemon battles. Giving them little hope of an education in anything but their worlds version of cockfighting.

[madd0ct0r]

Nearly all the starter pokemon are grass, fire or water.

Exceptions:
Pikachu (elec)
Ralts (psychic)
Espeon (psyhic) (an evee branch)
Umberon (dark) (an evee branch)

[Formless]

Nearly all the starter pokemon are grass, fire or water.

Exceptions:
Pikachu (elec)
Ralts (psychic)
Espeon (psyhic) (an evee branch)
Umberon (dark) (an evee branch)

True...ish. You forget dual typing. Marshtomp has ground typing, monferno has fighting type, and bulbasaur is poisonous, etc. Also, ralts is now a fairy as well.

Plus, eevee kept getting more evolutions. The whole eevee family covers literally half the types in the franchise:
Leafeon: grass
Flareon: fire
Vaporeon: water
Jolteon: electric
Glaceon: ice
Sylveon: fairy
Eevee itself: normal
and Espeon and Umbreon of course. I think the only types of pokemon not represented by the starters and eevee now are bug, ghost, and rock (although dragon is only represented by Mega Charizard)

[madd0ct0r]

electric would seem to be the way to go - it's strong against the first wave of birds and fishes,strong against a third of the starters and not weak against the other two.



bollocks. pikachu, i reluctantly choose you!

[Zixinus]

I think one of the most important first steps is going to have the police get some pokémons of their own. They will either need extensive equipment to take down pokémon or they'll need their own pokémon. Getting their own pokémon is going to be cheaper. I vaguely recall to be this the case in the animé, where the police too had pokémons? The police have to recognize this and even urged. Police controlling, as well as noting, access the vending machines might be a reasonable measure.
Hell, in some places where this is legal, the police might want some more well-trained owners as deputies.

Once the police can still keep law & order in a newly pokémon-owning population, we have something to build on. Animal rights and animal shelters will have to be expended. Most kennels are not equipped to handle some of the more destructive or powerful pokémon. I imagine that if I want to volunteer with the local shelter more I might end up buying a full set of armor. We will need to expand animal rights and animal cruelty laws (as well as enforcing them) because now idiot and abusive pet owners can actually create public dangers with abused pokémon. Hell, many nations might have to relax their legal weapon laws just to allow non-owners a way to defend themselves.

Remember that in the pokémon universe, the people had a long time to get used to having pokemons around and a long time for society to adopt. We in the other hand are going to get a very, very rude shock. This is going to be tricky with training the animals because, aside fans, we have limited idea how different pokemon are trained. Animal-behaviourists and other trainers are probably at an advantage.

Questions:

- Do the pokémon make animal sounds or do they use their name? (Please say animal sounds)
- How much information and guides does the pokédex give on how to train and handle pokémon?
- What about food? Are most of the pokémon comfortable with pet food or human food, or do some have very specialized diets?
- So the first wave is going to appear. Are they going to destroy the existing wildlife? How completely? Are we going to have a big contender for humanity in terms of ecological disaster?
- On the vain of food, what about medicine? Will the pokémon be susceptible to Earth diseases? Will they carry their own (probably not with the pokéballs and the cloning but still)?
- Can we use dog-identity chips on them?

As for the obligatory selecting of starter pokémon, I want an eevee. It is the perfect mix of dog, fox and even a bit of rabbit with those big ears. It's small so it should do well in my apartment. The rabbits are going to be livid but they'll get used to it. I'll also have options with it in the long-term when things are going to be crazy.

[madd0ct0r]

I always figured pokemon were named after the noises they make, kinda like how cat's are called méo in Vietnam.
And just like cat's, I really hope they have a range of noises available to them.

Food is a big question though. I assume they don't follow the law of conservation of energy?